Intimacy -a work of YYH fan fiction ---------------------------------------- Hiei ran through the woods, his breath coming in heavy rasps. He could feel the sticky wetness of blood soaking through his tunic, stubbornly seeping between the fingers clamped tightly over the wound. K'so! He couldn't believe he'd been so careless! He ran faster, making his way towards the portal to the Ningenkai. There was only one person he trusted enough to see him like this. ---------------------------------- Kurama's head snapped up, emerald eyes widening as something small, and dark, and bloody fell into his room. "Hiei!" The slender redhead scrambled out of bed, quickly walking to the window and kneeling by his wounded friend. He winced at the blood that was slowly staining his pristine white carpet. Inari, there was so much of it! Kurama hurriedly scooped his friend up and placed him on his bed. This was going to take some time. ---------------------------------- Hiei stirred, brow puckering slightly. Why in the three worlds did he feel so weak? "Hiei! You're awake!" The soft voice was filled with a mixture of relief, and something else Hiei couldn't quite place. He slowly opened his eyes. Kurama hovered anxiously by his side, worry etched all over his beautiful face. "Oh, Hiei, what have you been doing to yourself?" The half-youko whispered, reaching out to brush a stray curl from Hiei's forehead. Hiei turned his head away, pretending not to see the flash of hurt that crossed the redhead's face. "Hn. None of your business." Kurama quickly drew his hand back. "Naruhodo." He sighed and went to his closet, pulling out an extra futon and pillow. "Oyasumi nasai, Hiei." Hiei curled up on his side, and did not reply. ******************************** Last night before you fell asleep You whispered something to me Was it just a dream? ******************************** Kurama looked over at the little youkai on his bed. Hiei had turned in his sleep, and was now curled up facing him. He looked so innocent, so like a very young child. Why did he have to be so COLD? He sat up and moved closer, staring down at his sleeping friend. Moonlight spilled over the fire demon's face, giving the delicate features an otherworldly glow. The urge to touch him was almost unbearable. "Hiei? Are you still awake?" He whispered softly, clenching his hands in his lap. Hiei wouldn't understand his yearning to touch and be touched. The sting of rejection had been too recent, had hurt too much for him to chance it again. Not now, not when he was feeling so DAMNED vulnerable. "Hiei?" He whispered again, staring closely at the youkai's face. Hiei didn't move. His breathing continued, slow and even. Kurama sighed and turned away, leaning his back gently against the bed, and hugging his knees to his chest. Oh, Hiei, if you only knew how I feel.... "I'm such an idiot, ne, Hiei?" He chuckled softly, watching as the moon's beams slowly crept up the wall. "The great Youko Kurama...I'm not so great now, am I?" Bitter self-mockery colored his words. "Sou ne, what I am is just plain pathetic. Just a baka kitsune, na, Hiei?" He buried his face on his knees, quelling the tears that were threatening to escape. "Just a baka kitsune in love with his best friend..." ------------------------------- With great effort, Hiei managed to keep himself from jerking in surprise. He'd been pretending to be asleep, feeling guilty for acting like an ungrateful bastard earlier. How could he have explained to that blasted half-youko that his concern had SCARED him? No one cared about him, no one was SUPPOSED to care about him. He was a Forbidden Child, cursed and unwanted. It was all he knew, and all he wanted to know. Chikusho! That hurt look in Kurama's eyes had twisted something in his gut, something he'd tried so hard to ignore since he had been thrown off the Koorime's floating island. That someone so perfect and so damned BEAUTIFUL actually cared about him...he couldn't, DIDN't want to believe it. And yet... K'so! He had to be lying. Someone like Kurama could never love someone like him. He firmly squelched the little voice that said Kurama never lied. He must've misheard him, that's all. That had to be it. ******************************* I'm gonna listen to you close 'Coz your goodnight kiss Felt like a ghost ******************************* Kurama uncurled himself from Hiei's side. This was only making him feel worse. He stole one last look at the oblivious fire demon. Oh, Hiei.... Before he could change his mind, he quickly bent down and placed a kiss on his lips. "Oyasumi nasai, Hiei." With a heartfelt sigh, he crawled back to his lonely futon and went to sleep. When he woke up in the morning, Hiei was gone. ------------------------------- Hiei lifted a wondering hand to his lips. He could still feel the touch of Kurama's soft mouth pressing against his own. Why had Kurama done that? ******************************* What are you trying to say to me? What are you trying to say? ******************************* Hiei watched as Kurama went through the motions of living his ningen life. His crimson eyes were cloudy with confusion. He still couldn't figure out why Kurama had kissed him. It had to be a mistake. He couldn't possibly have meant what he said last night. It just wasn't - it had to be a mistake. He turned around and flickered off, a black blur against the white sky. It HAD to be a mistake. ******************************* Everybody's searching for intimacy ******************************* Kurama stared out of his window, vainly searching for that elusive ki. Why had Hiei left so suddenly? ******************************* Everybody's hurting for intimacy ******************************* He sighed and sat behind his desk, shoulders slumping dejectedly. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it HURT that Hiei had left without saying goodbye. It was driving him crazy, having his friend come to him when he was wounded and vulnerable, and yet never having the courage to ask him to stay. He told himself that being just a friend would have to be enough. Maybe if he repeated it often enough, he'd start believing it. Maybe. He rested his head on his arms. Life was so unbearably cruel. ******************************* We come into this world alone From the heart of darkness, The infinite unknown ******************************* Hiei asked himself for the tenth time what the hell he was doing. He stood in the tree outside Kurama's house, cursing the weakness that had led him here. He didn't understand it at all. He felt very confused. And he HATED it. He glared at the lighted window. It was all the kitsune's fault. ------------------------------- Kurama stirred, whimpering. No, not again, please... ------------------------------- Hiei's head jerked up as he heard Kurama make a small sound of distress. What was that baka doing? He leaped into the room, almost stumbling as he saw the redhead asleep at his desk. Tears were tracing a silvery path down his cheek, soaking into the crimson strands of his hair. Hiei hesitantly crept closer. Kurama let out another whimper, his face twisting into an expression of fear and pain. Hiei shook his shoulder to no avail. Kurama was caught fast in his nightmare. Hiei stepped back, turning to leave. It was none of his business what the redhead was dreaming. A nightmare wouldn't hurt him. A muffled sob stopped him in his tracks. He growled in frustration. Dammit, he couldn't leave Kurama like this. Ripping off his bandanna, he opened his Jagan, and entered Kurama's mind. ------------------------------- Hiei blinked. He appeared to be in a storeroom of some sort. Crates were piled haphazardly along one side. Cobwebs hung from the corners, giant Makai spiders nesting comfortably in them, red eyes calmly surveying the room for prey. The floor was packed dirt, scuffed here and there where the crates had been dragged in. "IIE! Hanase!" Hiei's crimson eyes narrowed. He could barely make out two figures grappling in the dim light. What the-? "Hanase!!" A silver youko kit struggled vainly against a slaver's grip. The green-scaled youkai grinned as he viciously backhanded the boy. The kit cried out, falling to the floor in a tangle of silver hair and flailing limbs. "You belong to me now, kid," he said, yellow eyes gleaming. "Orphans like you should be more nice to your masters." Kurama's amber eyes stared up at him in fear and loathing. One small hand gingerly crept up to cover his bruised cheek. Long silver hair tumbled around his shoulders in wild disarray. Hiei sucked in his breath. Even as a child, bruised and battered, Kurama had been beautiful. Apparently, the slaver was thinking along those same lines. He licked his lips. "Yesss," he hissed, slowly unbuckling his belt. "You should learn to please your new master." Kurama's eyes grew wider and he scrambled backwards, trying to escape. The youkai's claw closed around the kit's ankle and pulled him inexonerably closer. Kurama kicked out with his free leg, catching the youkai off guard. He let go with a curse, as Kurama broke free. "You're going to regret that, kid." Hiei turned his face away as Kurama's screams slowly filled the room. K'so! His crimson eyes flared wide as a particularly pained shriek was torn from the kit's throat. He had to DO something. Hiei's Jagan emitted purple fire as he exerted his powers, forcing the nightmare away and replacing it with something infinitely less painful. ******************************* We're only here a little while But I feel safe and warm When I see you smile ******************************* "Hiei!" Hiei started, whipping around at the sound of that cheerful voice. Where was-? "Hn." Beneath the cherry tree, another Hiei stood, staring impatiently at a smiling Kurama. He remembered this day...it was Kurama's ningen birthday. The half-youko had invited him to his birthday party, and he'd reluctantly agreed. From his vantage point, he could see how happy his acquiescence had made the redhead. That glowing smile had been wasted on him that day; he'd been too blind to notice it. He blinked. What the hell was happening to him? ------------------------------- Hiei staggered back, shaking his head. He was feeling more confused than ever. What are you doing to me, Kurama? ******************************* Baby don't move away from me ******************************* Hiei jumped out of the window. Kurama had stopped crying, and he no longer had a reason to stay. He had to get away from here. He HAD to get away. ******************************* Baby don't pull away ******************************* Kurama slowly woke up, feeling faintly bereft. He stared at his open window, at the curtains fluttering slightly. Outside, the air was still, with not even the slightest hint of a breeze. Oh, Hiei... He sighed, and began to undress. The little youkai would be back. Why did you come, Hiei? He crawled beneath his covers. And why, oh WHY, did you leave? ******************************* Everybody's searching for intimacy ******************************* Hiei snuggled down between the tree branches, steadfastly ignoring the rain dripping into his cloak. He closed his eyes and sighed, thoughts inevitably turning towards Kurama. He could almost see the sparkling green eyes, could almost smell that unique scent of roses and musk that always floated around the half-youko, could almost feel the soft, pink lips pressing down over his- Hiei opened his eyes and scowled. This was not working. Why couldn't he get that irritating kitsune out of his head? ******************************* Everybody's hurting for intimacy ******************************* Kurama smiled and waved goodbye to his friends. Really, Yuusuke and Kuwabara worried too much. He was fine, just fine. A lonely heart never killed anyone. Now, if he could only make himself believe that... ******************************* Everybody's searching for intimacy ******************************* Hiei stared down at Kurama as the redhead made his way home. He marvelled at how his friend had retained his gentleness and sensitivity, after everything that had happened to him. Where had Kurama found the courage to trust, and LOVE, again? Hiei watched as the graceful half-youko entered his house, fingering his sword uncertainly. Had Kurama really meant what he said? ******************************* Everybody's hurting for intimacy ******************************* Kurama threw himself down on his bed, wishing for the sweet oblivion of sleep. He could've sworn he'd felt Hiei's ki on his way home, but that couldn't be right. Hiei was in the Makai, where he belonged. He sighed wistfully. He wouldn't be wasting his time watching over one baka kitsune. He buried his face in his pillow. It still smelled of Hiei, a wonderfully spicy scent, of pine and woodsmoke and something indefinably Him. Inari knew, it was the closest he'd ever get to the real thing. ------------------------------- Hiei firmed his resolve and leaped to the redhead's window. He wasn't going to let some fool emotion make a coward out of him. ------------------------------- Kurama's head jerked up as someone very familiar landed in his room. "H-Hiei!" He sat up, clutching his pillow defensively. What was he doing here? ------------------------------- Hiei stared at the half-youko. Kurama looked surprised, and just the teeniest bit guilty. Hn, what was that baka thinking about now? "Kurama, we need to talk." "About what?" Kurama eyed him warily, still clutching at his pillow. Did he realize how vulnerable that made him look? Hiei wondered. "About you. And me." ------------------------------- Kurama stared at Hiei, speechless. Hiei KNEW. Oh, this couldn't be happening to him, not now. "I-I..." Kurama gave up trying to speak and made a break for the door. He had to get out of here, away from those searching red eyes. He couldn't face this, not now, not yet. ------------------------------- Hiei growled and tackled Kurama, pinning him to the bed. Kurama struggled wildly, arms ineffectually trying to push Hiei off of him. For all Hiei's small size, he was still considerably stronger than his friend. "Hold still, dammit!" Kurama collapsed, panting. "Let go of me, please, Hiei." "Not until you tell me why you tried to run just now." Kurama turned his head away, refusing to answer. Hiei grasped his chin, and forced him to meet his eyes. "Why, Kurama?" Kurama's eyes darkened in pain. "You know the reason." "Tell me, Kurama. Why did you run?" For some inexplicable reason, Hiei NEEDED to hear those words again, needed Kurama to speak them out in the full light of day, face to face, with no shadows and no masks to hide behind. "TELL me, Kurama." "Because I love you, all right?" Kurama half-shouted. "Because I love you and I know you'll never love me back." Hiei's head reeled. Kurama had said it! He felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his chest. Kurama LOVED him! His hands loosened their hold and Kurama broke away. The redhead curled up into a ball, back towards him. "Please, just go away." His voice sounded choked. "Onegai, just leave me alone." Hiei felt an irrational surge of anger. "Baka!" He flipped Kurama over on his back, glaring at him with burning crimson eyes. "Do you think I'd go away after what you just said?" Kurama blinked up at him in surprise. Hiei gently wiped away the tears marring HIS kitsune's perfect face. "I may not deserve you, but you're stuck with me, Kurama." As Kurama's eyes widened with dawning hope, Hiei smirked. "Kitsune no baka." ******************************* Baby come and lay down next to me ******************************* Hiei leaned down and kissed those tempting lips. This time, he didn't have to pretend to be asleep anymore. ******************************* Everybody's searching for intimacy ******************************* Kurama wound his arms around Hiei and drew him closer. As Hiei's own arms tightened about him, he whispered, "Ai shiteru, Hiei." "Hn." Hiei's eyes warmed. "Ore mo." ~Owari~