The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was
somewhat taken aback by a recent incident. Returning home from work,
a woman had been shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police
dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 officer
patrolling nearby was first on the scene. As he approached the house
with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, clapped a
hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my
possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send a blind policeman!"

My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his
address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked
where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said,
"Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair, the whole thing looking like an extra from "Twister". I asked
the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person, who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"