Good:        Taking a shower on a regular basis

Bad:         Peeing in the shower on a regular basis

Worse:      Pooping in the shower and stomping in through with your foot on a regular basis

 

Good:        Opening up a nice, stocked refrigerator after a long day of classes

Bad:         Opening up a nice, stocked refrigerator after a long break when the power's been turned off

Worse:      After a long day of classes, opening up a refrigerator stocked with gorilla feces

 

Good:        Roommates who refuse to live like pigs

Bad:         Roommates who refuse to wear pants, EVER

Worse:      Roommates who refuse to untie you or remove the duct tape from your mouth

 

Good:        Warm meals

Bad:         Dorm meals

Worse:      Steven Segal

 

Good:        Getting a job to help pay off your bills

Bad:         Getting a job as “mop and bucket man” to pay off your bills

Worse:      Getting a job as “mop and bucket man” at German hardcore porn theatre to pay off your bills.

 

Good:        Getting’ some good ol' fashioned lovin’

Bad:         Sleeping in the hallway cause your roomie's getting’ some good ol’ fashioned lovin’

Worse:      Hookin’ up w/ the old Ecuadorian cleaning lady in the hallway while your roommate's getting’ some good ol’ fashioned lovin’

 

Good:        Professors who are published and well-known in their field

Bad:         Professors who are published and well-known in the field of relaxation tapes

Worse:      Professors who refuse to wear pants

 

Good:        Having a large collection of MP3's on your computer

Bad:         Having a large collection of Barbara Streisand MP3's on your computer

Worse:      Having a large collection of lesbian elephant porn on your computer

 

Good:        An R.A. that lets you drink

Bad:         An R.A. that hides in your room and waits to catch you drinking

Worse:      An R.A. that hides in your room and waits to catch you changing

 

Good:        Lots of available alcohol at frat parties

Bad:         Lots of available alcohol poisoning at frat parties

Worse:      Lots of available jail time for hooking up w/ older looking 12 year old sluts at frat parties

 

Good:        Taco bull burritos

Bad:         Farting after taco bull burritos

Worse:      Canning up years of farts of taco bull burritos and releasing it all on your roommate

 

Good:        Studying abroad

Bad:         Studying abroad in Cambodia

Worse:      Studying abroad in Cambodia, painting “rescue vehicle” on your car, and tease starving children