Goodricke C: The Stars

Name:

Aaron

Room Number:

C 039

Nationality:

American

In Brief...

While many would maintain that I am a treehugger, this is misleading.  I only likes trees socially, and it's completely platonic.  Any pictures you may have seen (except for this one) are complete forgeries, especially that one with the really nice birch tree one night in Vegas, the one with the really nice foliage... but I digress.
  I am also a vegetarian, but this is not because I love animals - far from it, those good for nothing freeloaders taking up space that could be used for parking lots.  I simply hate vegetables.  Vegetables are the root of all evil.  Vegetables started the Vietnam War.  Vegetables killed Martin Luther King.  Tom Jones is a vegetable.
  During my sojourn as Eco Rep of the Goodricke JCRC, I've spearheaded many interesting proposals for improving the biodiversity of the campus: the re-introduction of predators to keep the duck population down (I suggested tigers, but the committee's hashing out the details), replacing the lakewater with soup, and burning Goodricke C to the ground, with extreme prejudice.   My views may not be popular, but then neither were those of Vlad the Impaler, and today he is recognized as the progressive foward thinking statesman he was.
  One final note - while I am an crosseyed good-for-nothing inbred and incestuous product of the genetic cesspool that is Appalachia, reports that I play the mandolin are libelous and you'll be hearing from my lawyer.  Some things are just too vile to take.

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