Saturday, What A Day
by Bob Gansler
 
 
 
He is immortal, born in the Highlands of Scotland almost 400 years ago.
He is not alone. There are others like him - some good, some evil.
For centuries, he has battled the forces of darkness
with holy ground his only refuge.
He cannot die unless you take his head and with it his power.
In the end, there can be only one.
He is Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander.
 
 
 
SEACOUVER, WASHINGTON - THE DOJO
DECEMBER 24, 1995
 
Duncan hummed some Christmas carols while he walked from his Thunderbird into the building. The Christmas spirit was upon him. He had experienced over four hundred of them during his long Immortal life, but every holiday season was special to him. It was one thing that he had not grown tired of over the centuries. He started the first verse of "Silent Night" as he got into the elevator. He was finished with it by the time it reached the dojo.
 
He walked through the empty workout area. The dojo was closed today, so nobody was there working out. Still the smell of sweat hung in the air. Duncan had a few administrative things to take care of here before he went back to the house. As Duncan walked into the office, he noticed that there was a brightly-colored box on top of the desk.
 
"Hmm, I wonder who did that?" Duncan wondered silently. Richie and Amanda were going to meet him at the house later tonight. He took the box and sat back in the deskchair. He carefully opened the envelope that was attached to the box. Inside was a simple white piece of paper that read -
 
 
To: Mac

From: Joe
Merry Christmas
 
"Joe?" Duncan was somewhat surprised. He had never received a Christmas present from his Watcher before.
 
"I didn't get him anything." Duncan frowned. "I guess I'll pick him up something at one of the after-Christmas sales.”
 
Duncan removed the bow and began to shred the colored rapping paper. The white box that was inside was opened just as quickly revealing its contents - a collection of compact discs. Duncan took them out one by one. He recognized the discs as being part of a collection of music being offered on one of those late night infomercials - "Great Hits of the 50's and 60's."
 
At the bottom of the box was another note from Joe. It read "Here's some old music for you, Mac. Well, at least it's old music for some of us. Happy Holidays!"
 
Duncan was a little bit embarrassed. It was a very nice gift. He would have to do something a little more special than picking up some discounted item for Joe. For now, however, he wanted to see what golden musical treasures these discs contained.
 
Duncan looked through the song titles on the back of the albums. "Hey, this is some great stuff," he thought. Two songs on disc three caught his eye. Songs number five and six caught his eye - "Rock Around the Clock" by Bill Haley and the Comets and "I Found My Thrill" by Fats Domino. Suddenly Duncan's memory was jarred. "I remember those tunes, there was that one Saturday night in Milwaukee ..."
 
 
 
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN 
JULY 1, 1960
 
There were a multitude of cars parked along the cliff of Inspiration Point. The scenery that lay to the east -the full moon hovering over the gentle waves of Lake Michigan - was lost to the occupants of the fleet of cars. They were more interested in making out than in making comments about the picturesque scenery. Off to the north side of the large group of cars was a yellow hot rod. Inside a red-haired boy and a blond-haired girl were engaged in a deep discussion.
 
" ... and the policeman says 'OK, but I'm going to have to ask for the gorilla's license.' Get it?"
 
The girl laughed and pushed back on her seat so hard that it inclined about 45 degrees from its former vertical position. "Oh, Ralph, you're so funny."
 
Ralph took advantage of the opportunity and started to lean over. "I still go it." He gently put his right hand behind her neck and kissed her.
 
The girl kissed back. "Oh, Ralph tell me another joke."
 
"Later, Donna." Ralph replied. "My lips need to relax from joke-telling with some kissing."
 
"Oh, OK" Donna agreed and kissed Ralph some more. With his left hand he turned on the radio softly. Without even looking, he tuned it to WOKY because he knew they would be playing the right type of music. As the station came in, "I Found My Thrill" began its unmistakable sound.
 
Ralph thought about mentioning to Donna that this was Richie's favorite song, but he figured he could tell her later when his lips weren't otherwise engaged. Ralph leaned over some more and continued to kiss her passionately. He lost his balance and rolled over onto Donna, getting his left pinned between the gear shift and the dashboard.
 
Just south of Inspiration Point, Duncan lazily drove along Lake Drive in his T-Bird, admiring the expensive houses that had the lake as their backdrop. He liked the sight. It was very relaxing. His inner peace was shattered as he heard a scream.
 
"Ralph! Get offa me! You're hurting me!"
 
Duncan followed the sound of the continued protestations until he found a yellow hot rod. He parked the car T-Bird and walked over the hot rod. He opened the driver's side door and found Ralph in a jumbled heap on top of Donna. Ralph's red sweater was covering part of his face. It looked as if he had been trying to take it off.
 
Both Ralph and Donna looked at Duncan after he opened the door. They were both speechless for a second, and Donna's eyes widened considerably.
 
"Do you mind?" Ralph yelled.
 
"Oh, hell-o." Donna said encouragingly.
 
"Is there a problem here?" Duncan asked. He looked at Donna "I heard you yelling."
 
Donna started to speak, but couldn't get anything out. Ralph continued to wriggle, trying to free himself from the ever-increasingly trapped position he was making for himself.
 
"Oh, no. There's no real problem here, Mr. Handsome," Donna finally managed to blurt out. "Me and Ralph were kissing and he sort of got his leg stuck and started crunching me against the seat."
 
"I see." Duncan could tell that all that these two were involved with was some innocent kissing. "Let me give you a hand. He managed to untangle Ralph from the human knot that Ralph into which Ralph had transformed himself. "There you go."
 
Ralph crawled back to his side of the car and then outside. He stretched out his neck a little bit. "Thanks, mister, but I had the situation covered."
 
Duncan smiled, "Oh, I'm sure you did."
 
Donna got up and out of the car as well. She rested her chin on the hood and stared at Duncan with a definite smitten look. "Thanks, mister. You're like a knight in shining armor saving a maiden in distress."
 
Duncan tried to avoid her stare "Or something." He sighed. "If both of you are OK, I'll leave you to whatever." He strolled back through the moonlit night to the T-Bird and drove off.
 
Ralph and Donna got back into the car. Ralph leaned over to continue what they had started.
 
"Where were we?" he asked with fake-innocence.
 
Donna pushed him away. "I can't do this anymore, Ralph."
 
Ralph's face boiled with red, though not as red as his hair, "Whaddaya mean?"
 
"You're a nice guy and kinda cute, but that guy was simply gorgeous."
 
She crossed her arms and bowed her head. "Take me home please, Ralph."
 
Meanwhile, Duncan headed west along Silver Spring Drive. He heard a church bell ring from up a few blocks ahead. "Music," he thought and turned on the radio.
 
The radio came to life. " ... is Milwaukee Braves baseball on WTMJ, AM 620. Stay tuned as Hank Aaron, Eddie Matthews, Warren Spahn and the rest of the Braves take on Cincinnati Reds."
 
Duncan looked at some of the pedestrians. A fair number of them were wearing Braves' paraphernalia of some sort - caps, T-shirts, and sweat-shirts. "They certainly love the Braves here. The team will probably never leave with such support," Duncan thought.
 
He reached a stop sign and was seized with a strong sensation. It was not from the presence of another Immortal but rather by an intense hunger pang. His nose picked out what probably caused it - the unmistakable scent of a burger joint. He looked to the south to see the likely source of it. It was a small round restaurant situated next to a German-looking building with the sign "Bavarian Soccer Club" in front. He could not make out what the sign above the Burger joint said. All he could see was a big neon "A" with something smaller written underneath it.
 
He took a left turn and drove down Port Washington Drive. As he got close, he could read what the name of the place. It was called "Arnold's."
 
Duncan frowned a little bit at the sight of it. He was not all that impressed with the structure itself, but he was overcome with the desire to eat a hamburger. "This looks like a good enough place to eat."
 
He pulled into the parking lot and parked amongst all of the hot rods and convertibles. The one vehicle that caught his eye was a very shiny motorcycle parked near the entrance. Duncan took a close look and admired the cycle."Nice bike. A Harley-Davidson. I think they make them here."
 
He looked it over for a few moments and took note of every detailed feature on the machine.
 
Meanwhile, inside of Arnold's, Ralph had already dropped off Jenny and now sat with two other boys, also outfitted in red sweaters. Ralph was busy explaining his personal tragedy.
 
"I had to take Jenny home. She said she couldn't get this guy's face out of her head. Lemme tell you what he looked like..."
 
As Ralph continued his tale, Duncan walked into the restaurant.
 
"A tall guy," the dark-haired boy interrupted.
 
"Yeah." Ralph replied
 
" ... with dark hair" the other boy interrupted again. The third boy remained silent, trying to hold back a giggle.
 
"Yeah, and he wore .... "
 
" ... a black trenchcoat." the dark hair interrupted once again.
 
Ralph was incredulous. "Yeah, Pots, you must be psychic or something. You musta read my mind. Oh boy, this is gonna be great. We can find out if chicks are digging us. But first, if I ever see that guy again. Oh man, I'm gonna pound him good, and then ..."
 
"Uh, Ralph, you might wanna take a look behind you." Potsie interrupted.
 
A wave of disappointment came over Ralph's face as he turned to see Duncan standing near the entrance. A silent "Eeep" also escaped from his lips and any bravado he had quickly disappeared. He spun back and scowled at Potsie, "Why didn't you tell me he was there? You're such a Potsie."
 
Ralph's two pals laughed at him mercilessly. Duncan was oblivious to the shenanigans going on at the table and took a seat in a booth in the corner of the establishment. He picked up a menu and started looking through it.
 
Ralph's face boiled red with rage again. "Sure, ha ha. I expected this out of Potsie, but not out of you Rich." The boys paid no mind to Ralph but kept on laughing.
 
A blonde waitress, wearing a blue-and-white uniform with a matching hat, strolled up to the table at which Duncan was sitting. She smiled and said, "Hi, I'm Cindy, and I'll be your waitress. You know what you want already?"
 
Duncan returned the smile and said, "Yes, I'll have one Arnoldburger with fries and a root beer."
 
"Sure, coming right up." A slight frown crossed over Cindy's face and she muttered under her breath, "That seems to be what everybody orders."  She walked back into the kitchen.
 
Duncan amused himself by watching the antics of the three boys at the other table. He noticed that the boy whose amorous activities he interrupted was one of the trio. Duncan hoped that Ralph did not notice him. Not that Ralph was going to cause him any trouble, he just wanted to have a peaceful meal. Duncan noticed a tall, thin, short brown-haired girl walk into the restaurant.
 
Potsie nudged Richie, "Hey Rich, it's Lori-Beth."
 
Lori-Beth slid into the booth and next to Rich. She greeted him with "Howya doing, Sizzle-lips?" and a kiss.
 
Rich responded with a kiss of his own and a "Pretty good, Sweet-knees."
 
Ralph and Potsie gagged at the mushy talk.
 
Back in the kitchen, Cindy hovered over the slightly rotund owner/chef of Arnold's, the ever-lovable Al.
 
"Al, you almost done with my order?" she asked impatiently.
 
Al looked up from the grill. He was slicing some uncooked meat with a big steak knife while he searched for the ketchup with the other. "Coming right up. Cindy. Just gotta put the ketchup on." He began squirting the ketchup onto the Arnoldburger when his greasy fingers slipped and ketchup was squirting all over Cindy.
 
"Al!" Cindy exclaimed. Her uniform was covered with a big red splotches.
 
"Oh, gee, Cindy. I'm sorry." Al apologized. "You go clean up, I'll take out your order."
 
Absentmindedly, Al kept the streak knife in his right hand while he balanced the Arnoldburger, fries, and root beer on a tray. He clumsily made his way out of the kitchen door when a wave of discomfort passed over him.
 
"Darn indigestion," he figured.
 
Sitting at his table, Duncan felt the sensation of another Immortal. He looked around quickly until his gaze locked onto a rotund man approaching him. Duncan noticed the tray of food the man carried, but he was more concerned with the large knife the man had in his right hand. Duncan hopped out of the booth and bowled Al over. The fries flew every which way and the two halves of the Arnoldburger landed on the two girls sitting in the next booth.
 
Duncan had Al pinned underneath him in a matter of seconds and had a firm
 
grasp on Al's right hand.
 
"I'm Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I think we should take this outside." Duncan declared.
 
"Hunnh? The food's not that bad." Al replied in confusion.
 
Ralph and Potsie were frozen into inaction. They were too afraid to do anything. Richie, on the other hand, knew exactly what to do. He climbed out over the edge of the booth and ran past the jukebox to the men's room. He knocked hurriedly on the door. "Umm, Fonz?"
 
A voice from inside responded, "I'm busy, Red."
 
"Umm, Fonz. I really think you should come out here." Richie insisted.
 
The voice sighed. "All right, Cunningham, but this better be good!" The door swung open forcefully, and out stepped Arthur Fonzerelli, dressed very proudly in blue jeans, white T-shirt, and leather jacket.
 
All of the girls turned away from the scene brewing between Al and Duncan to look at emerging figure. "Oooh, it's the Fonz" one of them exclaimed.
 
The Fonz took stock of the situation. He pushed his hands down and ordered "Cool it!"
 
A wave of silence overtook the entire establishment. Even Duncan and Al stopped struggling, though by this time Duncan had gotten the knife out of Al's hand.
 
Duncan looked up at the Fonz. "Look, pal, this doesn't concern you.It's none of your business."
 
The Fonz snapped his back and smiled "Look, _pal_, once you put your hands on Al, it became my business."
 
Duncan got to his feet and dragged Al up with him. He kicked the knife under a booth and started to take the both of them to the door. "This is between 'Al' and me. I don't need to put with grief from some greaser."
 
A collective "ooooh" came from the people gathered there. The kids started whispering amongst themselves, wondering what the Fonz would do in response to that insult.
 
"You really shouldn't have said that to the Fonz." Potsie broke the silence.
 
The Fonz pointed at Potsie and said, "Shut up and sit down, Webber."
 
A glum look replaced Potsie's smile as he sat back down. "Right, Fonz."
 
Duncan looked around the restaurant. Obviously this 'Fonz' was held in very high regard by the crowd.
 
Fonz snapped his fingers and two girls rushed to his side. The Fonz stretched his arms out behind him and allowed them to remove his jacket. The girls did it very carefully, almost reverently. After they had removed the jacket and folded it very carefully, they kissed the Fonz simultaneously. He smiled "Whoa!"
 
The Fonz circled Duncan. Duncan let go of Al, and Al hurried into a nearby, unoccupied booth. The Fonz continued to circle Duncan and was back near the jukebox once again. He scratched his chin. "If we're gonna rumble, I'm gonna need some music," he declared
 
"I got a dime, Fonz. Whaddaya wanna hear?" Potsie offered as he jumped up from his seat.. Fonz turned and gave Potsie a frown. "Right, Fonz. 'Shut up and sit down, Webber.'"
 
Fonz rubbed his fist over the glass part of the jukebox. He slammed his hand down hard. Within seconds, "Rock Around the Clock" started to play. Duncan was a little bit surprised by it.
 
The Fonz pointed at Duncan "If we're going to rumble, you'd better take your coat off."
 
Duncan declined "I'd rather not."
 
The Fonz smiled. "You wouldn't happen to be hiding something in that jacket, would you?" He resumed circling Duncan, getting ever closer. With lightning speed, the Fonz reached out and tapped a button on Duncan's trenchcoat. Everyone, including and especially Duncan was surprised when his katana came crashing to the ground, rattling on the floor.
 
Ralph pointed at the steel blade. "Holy cow! He's got a sword!"
 
Duncan was astonished. His sword had never fallen out before. Could it have been something this 'Fonz' had done?
 
Fonz kicked the sword up into his hands with his well-polished boots. He twirled the sword in his hands for a few seconds. He peered at his reflection in the blade. He seemed oblivious to the fact that Duncan was still there. He took out his black comb from his back pocket. He studied his hair carefully and began to bring the comb towards his head. He smiled. Once again, there was not a hair out of place. He put the comb back in his pocket and said, "Aaaaaay!"  The Fonz handed the sword to Richie and assumed a boxer's stance "OK, let's do it."
 
Duncan responded and assumed one of the more obscure martial arts' poses. They circled each other for a few moments and then Duncan pressed the attack. He led with a leg sweep followed with a open hand punch. The Fonz effortlessly stepped over the leg sweep and ducked under the punch.
 
Duncan resumed his stance and initiated another attack. Once again, the Fonz smoothly avoided every blow the Duncan tried to land.
 
The kids were impressed with Duncan martial artistry. They had never seen anything like it before.
 
"He's good, he's really good." Potsie stated.
 
"He hasn't hit the Fonz, though." Richie replied confidently.
 
Duncan could not hit the Fonz. He tried every move he knew, but the Fonz got out of the way. Duncan was getting noticeably frustrated. He resumed his stance again and tried to bait the Fonz, "C'mon."
 
The Fonz smiled and rubbed his hands together "OK, you asked for it."
 
The entire restaurant fell silent once again.
 
With blazing speed, the Fonz's fist darted out towards Duncan's nose. Only two sounds could be heard - the Fonz hitting Duncan, and Duncan hitting the floor. All of the girls mobbed the Fonz upon his victory, except for Lori-Beth, who joined Richie over by the men's room door.
 
Duncan was still on the floor, wiping the blood away from his nose. He had never been felled so hard before, and never with a single punch.  Somebody handed his sword to him. Duncan looked up and was surprised to see it was Al.
 
"You're an Immortal, right." Al asked.
 
Duncan took the sword and put it back into his coat. "Yes, I am."
 
"It's been a long time since I ran into another Immortal." Al said.
 
"Didn't you feel my presence?" Duncan asked.
 
"Yes, but I just thought it was that Arnoldburger I had earlier. Oooh." Al rubbed his stomach.
 
"Why did you bring the knife out?" Duncan wondered
 
"I was using it to cut up the meat. I guess I forgot I still had it in my hand."
 
"You know what, Al?" Duncan laughed, "I believe you."
 
"I'm glad, 'cause I wouldn't be able to give you a very good fight." Al whewed. "I've been running this place for a while now, and I haven't fought in a long time."
 
"You can't stay here forever, you know." Duncan stated.
 
"Yep, yep, yep." Al nodded. "I know, I know."
 
"Any thoughts of what you're going to do in the future?"
 
"Once these kids grow up, I'm thinking about going to New York. I'd like to be a police officer. I hear it's not a hard life. I'd like to find some pals to play poker with."
 
Duncan smiled "Best of luck to you, Al."
 
Al suggested, "Let's go tell the Fonz that everything's 'cool' between us now."
 
Duncan agreed, "Good idea."
 
Al and Duncan waded through the sea of girls surrounding the Fonz. When they reached him, Al began, "We straightened things up, Fonz. Everything's fine now. He thought I was trying to kill him with the steak knife I brought out." Al smacked himself on the head, "Silly me, I didn't even know I had it."
 
The Fonz pushed away a few of the girls. He offered his hand to Duncan
 
"If you're OK with Al, you're OK, with me, Mister ... ?"
 
Duncan took the Fonz's hand "MacLeod. Duncan MacLeod." He wiped away some of the blood that was still on his face. "That's some punch you got there. Care to tell me how you did it?"
 
The Fonz looked at his fist. "Placement."
 
Duncan nodded, "I see."
 
Duncan turned to walk away, but the Fonz put his hand on Duncan's shoulder. "Hey, you've got to tell me how you're able to hide the sword in the coat."
 
"Are you going to tell me how you start up the jukebox with your fist?" Duncan replied.
 
"Aaaaay! A man's gotta have his secrets, and I guess you do, too. You're OK, MacLeod." The Fonz gave his trademark sign - the thumbs up.
 
Duncan smiled and wove farewell to everyone. He walked out the door and jumped into the T-Bird.
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
He was cool, born in Dairylands of Wisconsin a few decades ago.
He was not alone. There were others like him - some cool, some not so cool.
For years, he helped other people
with "Arnold's" and the Cunninghams' his only refuges.
He could not be defeated unless you took his cool and with it his power.
In the end, he will always be the number one man in the Brew City.
He is Arthur Fonzerelli, the Fonz. (Aaaaaaay!)