I've been working at a corporate firm named Telitusa for the last seventeen years as a corporate consultant, covering up all the company's mistakes for inspectors and creating a grand façade for the stock investors year after year. You wouldn't believe what I see going on in this company day after day, month after month. There are so many things I know about this company that I have never disclosed to a soul.

Hi. My name is Robert Renquist. I'm in my troublesome thirties now, older but not a great deal wiser. Telitusa is the hand that feeds me, that houses me, that keeps me standing here, able to talk to you.

Telitusa makes monumental gains every year, being acclaimed as the "most valuable company" in the corporate world. Stock investors go wild over its very name, fervently pouring investments into the company. In the last decade alone, the company stock has gone through forty-seven splits. Interestingly, the company has never been accused of having a monopoly over the market in spite of the fact that Telitusa is the only existing company in the feverish competition in the market. But the people don't know that. What they see is a biggest race for the best between to enormous corporations - Telitusa and Asutilet. Of course, these corporations don't really exist. Telitusa has been alone in this so-called "competition" for the last, oh, twenty five years? It must feel great for me to be working at a company that feigns a competition by creating two competing companies, both of which Telitusa actually owns and makes profits from.

But I'm too naïve to know about that. I'm just a drone in the company following orders from the VP. It's funny how this company works. Company A creates product A. In retaliation, rival company 1 creates product 1. Then company A creates product B, causing company 1 to create product 2. And though the products are so similar, the idea of the products coming out of different companies with different colors and names on the covers makes it all the different. It's a strange business method, really, but it works.

But there was this one time where I actually did do something about this malpractice. Well, I almost did. You see, I had a project one November...

I hung up the phone after speaking to my last caller on hold, completing my routine assurance that the company was fine and that the stocks held much promise for the future. A man came rushing in with papers. It was Gerald. Vice President of Telitusa. What an honor. *cough*

"Renquist! I know you're still working on all the company's figures from this morning, but I need you to sign these factory inspection papers. Our incompetent colleagues in the European department can't handle them. We're going to change all the company's figures just a tad to make the inspectors a bit happier."

"Oh joy..." I mumbled.

"Say again?"

"I said...what a ploy! How ingenious of you!"

"Why, thank you."

After he had left, I returned to the company figures that had been so suddenly dumped on my desk this morning. And I was having such a good day too. After finishing half of the figures, I switched to the new task to see what it was like. Exaggerations on forms and "fibbing, not lying", as the company liked to emphasize, were very common in my array of weekly tasks. But this one was not so clean. Suddenly it hit me.

A thing like this could bring the company down. But would I really want to do something like that? After all, this company has been part of my life ever since I graduated from graduate school. But I don't really want to try to take down an organization the size of this company. When Winston in 1984 tried to turn against the Party, he was squished hard and fast like a bug being sat on by a flabby, 500 pound lady. Was this something I could risk?

No. I was dreaming. This couldn't be. How could it be this easy? Would I want to? Well, all this contemplating wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I left the building and walked off the company grounds to the nearby coffee shop. For some strange reason, the little coffee shop around the corner of this end road was very snug and cozy.

Sitting in the corner of the shop on my favorite couch and sipping decaf from a mug, I pondered the possibilities of my ambitious goal. If I was going to do this, it would turn into one of the uncontrollable frenzies ever. The media would drool all over the story. I would be a hero. Did I want that though? Sure, I felt like I needed some recognition, but hey, I could become infamous, which I did not want. Suddenly there was a tap on the window. Actually, it was more like rude banging.

It was my boss, Gerald, also known as the vice president. Oh goodie. A hundred dollars says that he's going to tell me that I don't have to do the figures anymore.

"Renquist! Good news! You've been given the honor to be our spokesperson at the inspectors committee meeting!" There goes my hundred dollars.

"Why...I'm very honored," I replied.

"Well, to tell you the truth, nobody wanted to do it, so we kind of chose you out of random selection."

"How random?"

"Your name was the only one in the hat."

"Ah. Very random indeed," I answered. "Figures," I mumbled.

"Say again?"

"I said...figures. I need to return to the figures I've been working on."

"Oh, I see. Well, try to get them done soon so that you can sign the papers and prepare a ten minute speech for the meeting the day after tomorrow."

SIGH...

"Was that a sigh I heard? Are you trying to tell me something here???" he demanded, raising his voice and staring hard at me inquisitively.

"Uh...actually, that was a...um...mandatory routine I've been following to relieve my...uh...ridiculously high blood pressure levels. Breathing out works."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll be a-leaving now. Enjoy your day."

So here was my big chance. If I wanted to do anything, the meeting would be my sole chance. I could tell the inspectors, no, hint to the inspectors, about the practices of the company. Or should I? Maybe I could hide it somewhere in my speech. No, I don't want to do that. I took a big gulp of my coffee and put the mug on the table. If I'm going to something, it's going to be now.

[not finished]