Once upon a time, there was a big piece of shit lying on a windshield. It was dropped by an intoxicated bird that later dropped dead several yards away. Who...cares... Anyway, a cat happened to find this and it ate it. Don't ask why. It was just hungry, I guess. And because of the different exotic toxins mixed together in the substance we so humbly call "shit," the cat soon suddenly dropped dead as well.

Chucilian Bernard Parker III, also known as "Chuck," happened to be walking down this ghetto area. It was a dry October day in the year 1992. They call this area West Oakland, but like you care. He happened to be a newcomer in this town, moving only about three days earlier to a nice home near Grand Lake Theater. So he took the bus and was exploring this area of Oakland. Big mistake. Just half an hour ago, Chuck got his ass kicked and was robbed of all his dear possessions. Rolos. You want to know what he was like? Think of the stereotypical nerd. Freak. Geek. Whatever you may call it. This was NOT the place for him.

But his day hadn't been THAT bad. I mean, at least he experienced a good kick in the ass. That's a new experience. The harder kicks. Well, his day WASN'T going to be all that bad...

(Ooh...an ellipsis! Must be something REAL suspenseful!) ;)

...he...Got...A...POWER!!!!

EERK! EERK! EERK! EERK!! :)

You see, the mixing of the numerous exotic toxins enclosed in the shit mentioned earlier had made a spark, unlocking a supernatural force called...

...THE CLICK.

EERK! EERK! EERK! EERK!! ;)

Okay, let me just make this quick. Several rare substances. Bird takes in rare substances. Bird flies. Bird dies. Not before releasing a big blob of shit onto the windshield of a brand new Lexus. Extremely hungry and desperate cat finds shit. Cat eats shit. Cat dies. Boy finds dead cat. Much sympathy. Touches cat. Gets electric shock. Boys says "weird." Boy walks home unwittingly with a great power.

So Chuck walked home receiving a reprimand that lasted for fifteen minutes because of the fact that he strolled right into a ghetto. He tried to convince his parents that he hadn't gone there, but it's kind of hard to hide blood and puss oozing out of your face. (Yuck!) Chuck wasn't grounded though because he didn't know that West Oakland was a ghetto area.

Chuck sat in his room feeling extremely queer inside. He felt a presence of some force within himself. He looked at the television set in his room. It was showing a show that glorified the type of people he hated. Actually, Chuck hated everybody who got attention and was good at anything. He was pretty messed up. He despised everyone. As he filled with hatred, his finger began to glow. But he didn't notice. Until... Too late.

KABOOM!!!

The television set exploded. The glowing line from his finger to the TV disappeared just as quickly as it appeared. Chuck sat there bewildered. It was his finger! He felt that he finally had something good out of the mists of rejection, solitude, and constant envy. The power to destroy!

All night Chuck had been destroying projects he had created over the school years. Kaboom! Kaboom! Kaboom! He was a lunatic. He wanted to destroy anything he didn't like. Unfortunately, Chuck hated lots of things and lots of people. At school, he sabatoged object after object after object. He targeted things that would provoke people or make them miserable. At the end of the school day, he felt pretty good. He felt a happiness. A very sick kind of happiness.

Walking home, Chuck destroyed anything small he passed. He zapped signs, destroyed stoplights, sizzled trash cans... He zapped and zapped, overjoyed by his power. But then...his fatal mistake.

ZAP! He missed a stray kitten and hit the dry grass around it instead. The flammable dry grass immediately crackled and a fire began. The fire began spreading at an incredible speed. Chuck began to panic. He looked left and right and left and right for an escape, but every time he found an escape, the fire would block it. The fire continued eating up the grass relentlessly.

The fire continued spreading for days. It spread all over the Berkeley-Oakland Hills burning 3000 homes and injuring many. Chuck was burnt to death before he could even escape. No plantlife ever grew where his cremated corpse lay.