Once upon a time there was a little boy who had glasses. His name was Gordon. Gordon was a weird little boy. Every day when he got home from school he performed a strange little ritual outside his front door. First he would take his glasses off, then he would step on them. Then he would jump up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down on his glasses until the poor little boy threw up.

    Every day his mommy had to buy him a new pair of glasses. Every day his daddy had to clean up the front porch. Nobody understood why Gordon smashed his glasses every single day. When his loving and caring little sister Karen asked him why, he said, "What? I smashed my glasses?" Then Karen would roll her eyes and say, "You're so weird, Gordon." Then she would walk away.

    Gordon was a sad little boy. None of his little boy friends wanted to play with him anymore because they were afraid he would flip out and jump on his glasses and throw up all over them. So nobody played with poor little Gordon.

    One day his loving and caring little sister Karen felt sorry for Gordon, so she decided to help him. First she needed to figure out why he smashed his glasses every day. Karen hid inside the strawberry bush one day while Gordon was walking home from school. Then she saw something that nobody else had seen before...

    ...So Karen ran back home and told her loving and caring parents about what she had seen. She told them how a weird looking lady came out of nowhere and how she had put a bad luck spell into Gordon’s glasses and how Gordon had to destroy his glasses completely to get rid of the bad luck spell. Her parents didn’t believe her though. They knew she wouldn’t lie but the story seemed too much like a fantasy. So they sent Karen to her room and grounded her for a week.

    Karen was sad. Nobody would believe her, not even her best friend. And whenever she told Gordon that she knew, he denied it and acted as if nothing ever happened. Karen already knew a lot about this strange ritual of Gordon’s but she didn’t know why Gordon had to throw up when he did it. So Karen when to the local library and looked up everything she could on bad luck spells.

    She found the one she was looking for. The book said that any living creature that touched the cursed object would get the bad luck too. So that creature would have to throw up to get rid of the bad luck within itself. She also found out that she could get rid of the old witch lady by singing the Barney song to her. (Nobody on Earth can stand that song.) So Karen sang it to the witch lady and Gordon never did the weird ritual ever again.

    Today, Gordon has lots of friends and Karen well, she still has the Barney song stuck in her head.