The first step is in the asking...
Recently, on a message board I read often, the moderator posted that he was having technical difficulties. Another man posted this:
"I can help you... all you need do is ask."
That statement struck a very deep chord within me.
For some reason, this strikes me as a very "Gorean" attitude. Not unlike the Gorean view of pity being insulting, could it also be insulting to thrust unsolicited advice on another? Do we offend when we are so quick to tell someone the right way to do something? Are we, in that gesture, implying that they are somehow incapable of figuring it out on their own?
Perhaps a more reasonable stance to take would be as the man above did. To simply make them aware that help is here... but it must be requested.
Perhaps the asking is important in itself... Perhaps "the asking" is the first step which leads one to the path. Perhaps... one has to muster up the courage to ask... before they can proceed.
Something to ponder.
The next day.... still asking...
This "asking" has been gnawing at me. Why does it affect me so deeply? I think I have finally figured it out.
In a conversation with a friend last night, we spoke of the issue of slaves approaching to offer service. I said, (as I have many times before) that I disagree with this practice. If a Gorean wants something they will not be shy... they will simply ask for it.
(this was when the lightbulb went on over my head)
Then I smiled... We both said "ahhhhhh.... the asking."
This morning, when speaking with a new slave, she said she was grateful for the time, but was tired. I asked if she was asking permission to leave. She said yes. I then told her, "Then do so... ask permission to leave."
The asking.
This seems to be such an important part of the behavior of Goreans. And something to be learned before one can proceed whether free or slave.
For example... a free person enters a tavern and drops huge hints. "Sure wish I could get a drink around here..." Now matter how often I see that happen, each time I do, it appears to me the act of a weak or timid person. To me, a Gorean would simply ask who is free to serve and demand what they wish rather than "hint, hint, nudge, nudge" until it falls into their lap. The "asking" is a way of somehow asserting themselves as free.
For slaves, the "asking" (or begging) is such an important aspect of their slavery. To be made to ask or beg for permission to leave a room reminds them continually of their place in this Gorean community.
The asking... such a simple thing really.... so subtle... yet so crucial.
I wish you well,
Dangrus
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