We at ZoRk believe that verbal attacking against nerds just isnt enough. We have to attack them using what we like to call.... 'ZoRk Attack Plans'. These are simple plans that proove to annoy nerds. We have tested them thouroughly on nerds like Mista Ecks and firewalker and they called all our plans 'lame' and 'gay'. So we have come to the conclusion that the plans work at pissing off gay homosexual nerds.

Here are the 'ZoRk Attack Plans':

DEZORK

For plan DEZORK to work, you must be in a server that allows teamkilling (or as nerds like to call it 'tking' NNNNNNNNNNYYYYYY). In DEZORK you kill your whole team then kill yourself. Best used when your team if full of nerds. NOTE: You must reconnect after 2 teamkills or you will get banned.

KZ

Stands for 'Kill ZoRk'. In plan KZ you can be in any server. You (with other zorks) go and 'camp' in a room where no one will find you. After waiting a long time and the nerds have been looking for you for ages, you kill yourself (at the same time as the other zorks). Also, if anyone finds you before your ready, you MUST kill yourself before the enemy have a chance to kill you. NOTE: You must first bind a key to 'kill' before attemping this.

PK

In plan PK, you must be in map lumber. In map lumber there is a razor blade that is moving very fast kills you very fast. There is moving ramp up to where this razor is. You must get on the end of it, face the razor blade and watch your death coming closer and closer. NOTE: Best done where there are multiple zorks in your team.

FZ

Fly ZoRk. This is similar to plan KZ. You camp in a room that is above sea level (high up). When you think you have waited long enough for nerds to be really pissed off, you jump off the tallest point you can get to to, plummetting to your death.

DZ

Drown ZoRk. Just as the title says. Find a nice lake of water to die in, jump in, and swim until your slow death. NOTE: Can be done with acid.

DIZ

Dizzy ZoRk. In this, you find a reasonably small room somewhere, then you and your fellow zorks run cirles around the room, totally ignoring the enemy. this really pisses off nerds cause it takes time, and once they find you, they cant hit you.

RSZ

Ren and Stimpy ZoRk. This can only be done in the lighthouse map. this is where you go into the room where ren and stimpy is playing, and you either sit and watch, or dance to the music. if any non-zork enters the room, you must not rest until they are totally dead.

3rdDBZ

3rd Degree Burn ZoRk. This can also only be done in map lighthouse. this is when you go to the room near the ren and stimpy room, to where the oven is. you must sit on top of the oven until you are dead.

FKZ

Fly Kill ZoRk. This is when you jump off a tall building, much like in plan FZ, but once you reach the air, you must kill yourself part of the way down.

BUZ

Blow up Zork. This is self-explanitory. Get a grenade, and kill yourself with it.

GJZ

Grenade Jump Zork. get a grenade, throw it, jump on top of it, and jump when it blows up. you should be launched to a better place.

SJZ

Strafe Jump ZoRk. This is when you practise strafe jumping, no matter how shit you are at it.

ZZ

Z Zork. This is when you bind a key to 'kill', then you kill yourself RIGHT AT THE START of the round, so therefore saving yourself from being killing by any nerds.

OLZ

Oompa Loompa ZoRk. This is when you 'camp' in a room, preferably with other zorks, and just keep bobing up and down (crouching, then not crouching). Of course, once a nerd finds you, you must kill yourself before he gets you.

KN

Kill Nerds. This is when zork actually TRY to kill people. This rarely happens. Sometimes when we just arent pissing off nerds enough verbally, we need to beat them and that can really piss them off. They always have a bunch of ecuses up their sleeve though. Like 'lpb', 'my pings screwed', 'lamer', or 'you have no skill'. Our policy is that we never listen to nerds, so therefore we totally ignore their pathetic little excuses.

WARNING: If you are executing one of these plans where you arent meant to kill zorks, look out for freaktron. He sometimes loses control of himself, and accidently hits a fellow zork in the head.