| Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared 'neath the stars above For a moment all the world was right How was I to know that you'd ever Say good-bye "Dear JC, I don't know if you care about this or not, but I'm gonna write it anyway. I have so much I want to tell you, but so few words. What you have done for me...and for everyone...has been so incredibly inspiring, I can't even begin to tell you. What you offered to the world has made me so honored to have been a part of it. You have so much talent, man. Don't use it for anyone but you. That's it. It doesn't matter what everyone else is saying. Screw them. What do they know? I am so glad you chose to share your talent with me. Just being in the group with you has given me such an open heart. I got that from you, C. You have been my brother when the times got rough. I viewed you as that, you know. You knew me so well that I figured you were either psychic or my brother. That was the thing about you: You always seemed to know what to say and when. Suddenly, in the group, and everywhere else, the world was perfect. When you were around, I felt safe...comforted. I could do anything. I thought you felt the same. I guess that's why I was so shocked when I saw that note scribbled on a post-it on the bathroom mirror. How could you leave like that? Just suddenly? I was so confused. I wish you would have told us, first, that you had a problem. We would have helped you. We should have seen the signs! I'll never forgive myself for that." And now, I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end The way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance "Now that I think back on it, how could we have known? It's not like you openly injected that crap into you arm or sniffed anything waiting your turn to record. The signs were more...subtle. Like, a slow change in your views. Not a total 180, just apathy as opposed to that excited, opinionated musician everyone knew and loved. To be brutally honest, we all thought that you had gotten in a fight with Bobbie or something. It's amazing she's stuck by you. She's a keep, Jace. Don't give her up or let her slip by. Anyway, we were probably more upset over the fact that we found out you were an addict from Entertainment Tonight. Not from you, but from some useless piece of electronics! I was mad. No, I was pretty damn pissed off. I was pissed off at you for leaving and I was pissed off that we had to end this way. I never thought it would end this way. I'm kind of glad I didn't know at the beginning. I could have avoided this pain...but to think what else would have been lost: Some of the best experiences of my life." Holding you I held everything For a moment wasn't I a king If I'd of known how the king would fall Well then who's to say I might have changed it all "What drove me crazy was the fact that I was helpless...helpless to tell you everything would be all right like you had done for me in the past, helpless when confronted by the media about this whole ordeal, helpless to hold back everything I was feeling...JC, this was so hard. And all I wanted to do was help you. But you weren't there to be helped. You brought out the best in all of us, Jace. You made us all strive to be better. I'm not good like you at giving out words of encouragement, but I fell like I have to try. Get over this, man. I know that you can do it. I'm behind you all the way. Don't forget, either, that I'll love you no matter what. As always, Justin" The man rigedly ran a single hand through his knotted, greasy hair. He closed his eyes in a desperate, futile attempt to block out the stinging tears, already fleeing down his face. He spoke in a raspy tone, cold from empathy. "I keep reading your letter over and over." He finally painfully opened his tear-swollen eyes, gazing at his own shoes, anxious. "I wanna get over this...for...for you, Jusitn. For you and the rest of the people behind |