episode 7
"You should run, because if you run, you're exercising. If you run, you won't be fat. I run every day after school, but it's not fun running. You get very tired running." [this is not exactly how it was written. We had corrected all the errors or you probably wouldn't have been able to figure it out. -ed.]
After 30+ essays in which very few of them made any sense and you wonder if they learned anything at all, [like periods...is it THAT hard to remember to put a dot at the end??? -author] our super heroine decided it was time for a break and a drink. So she called upon her two friends Jena the Mega Pimpin' Industrial Bitch (crackhead!) and Kymber, the cheerleader of the damned (it'll be okay). After much intelligent discussion (I don't care, where do you want to go?) and finally a coin toss, they decided to embark upon the downtown life of aura. It had been such a long time since Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) had been to aura, last time she was there it was still the Dome Room. She was in for quite a shock, for they had taken up 3/4 of the dance floor to put in a bar! [This is really more awful than it sounds. I was horrified and dismayed by this. Yes, it was such an emotional moment, I almost cried. -author]
Once retreating to the bar [that was once a dance floor. Hmph! -author] Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) came upon a whole new society. The glow stick society. [insert scary music here] After just an hour of watching, she had discovered all of its rules and regulations. They even had a caste system. It was soon realized that those with the green glow sticks were the upper caste, red was below them and pink was reserved for women only. I don't even want to think about how low those are with unmatching glow sticks. Set in front of the dance floor are three podiums, resembling that of the Olympics. These podiums were guarded heavily by the glow stick society. At one point a woman tried [And I do emphasize the word try, it was quite pathetic. She had this thing going on where she couldn't close her legs. Too much horseback riding maybe? It was quite scary. -author] to dance on the podium, she was soon surrounded and hounded with nasty looks until she left. For a second it was possible that a turf war could've happened. Even within the certain castes there were levels of rank. You had your basic glow stickers and there were your samurai glow stickers. The ones with glow sticks on strings and they twirled them around like numbchucks, while wearing sunglasses. Becuase everyone knows how bright it is in those clubs, and we wouldn't want them to miss, now would we? [Actually, I was hoping they would fall off. -author] It was obvious that the red glow sticks were lower than the green, for once a red glow sticker tried to be a samurai and messed up. He was soon banished from the podium and sent to the back of the dance floor where nobody could see him. Not enough practice in front of the mirror I guess! Along with all of these rules, there is also a dress code that was very heavily enforced. Nothing other than Abercrombie and Finch would do.
After immense observation, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) found this new secret society [although, it isn't very secret now, is it? -ed.] very interesting and decided that she could learn more about it if she participated within it. Plus, they were pretty light thingies that glowed in the dark and she wanted to play with them. Although, she would have to be very careful to not get brainwashed during this investigation. God knows what could become of our super heroine if she stared wearing Abercrombie and Finch. [I shudder at the mere thought of it! -author and editor] She announced to her friends that she was going in, it was good to have back-up, just in case. Then Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) skipped happily over to the one of the green glow stickers and asked politely if she could play with the glow sticks. His response was less than desirable.
"PLAY?? You want to PLAY with the glow sticks?? My dear, this is not mere playing we are doing here, nor is it mere dancing. It is more than that. You could almost say it is on a spiritual level, " replied green glow sticker #1. After getting the same response from green glow sticker #2, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) returned to her friends in a mope.
"They won't let me play!" she cried stomping her foot.
"They won't let you play? Who says they won't let you play?? Which one??" cried out Kymber, the cheerleader of the damned (it'll be okay). She grabbed Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) by the hand and ran out, no, stomped out onto the dance floor right up to green glow sticker #1. "Excuse me! But you WILL let my friend play with your glow stick. Didn't your mother ever teach you how to share? No? Well, here's your first lesson!" and with that she took the glow sticks out of his hands and gave them to Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) [Kymber is good to have around in these kind of situations. -ed.]
Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) looked at the glow sticks in awe and jumped up on the podium. As she danced with the glow sticks (waiting for some time of religious experience), other members of the glow stick society stopped and stared. It was unheard of! A woman with a green glow stick? What's next? Women samurais???
Practically reading their mind, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) jumped down and traded her normal glow sticks in for the numbchuck ones. Oh yes, she was now a samurai glow sticker! She continued her dance with green glow sticks flying everywhere. Green glow stickers #1 and 2 jumped up on the side podiums and started dancing frantically, trying to intimidate and scare our super heroine. [What a joke! Don't they know that the only thing she's afriad of is pop rocks and oompa loompas? -ed] Figuring they were flocking to worship her, [After all, she is not only a super heroine, but also a goddess -author] [Whatever! -ed.] [Shut up! -author] Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) decided to try some more difficult samurai moves and succeeded only in hitting them upside the head. After getting them tangled up in their heads, Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) decided that maybe she wasn't quite ready to a samurai glow sticker. So she gave them back and retreated to the bar for more observation.
"Oh no! It's the mating ritual!" screamed Kymber, Cheerleader of the Damned (it'll be okay). "Look at them dancing with their glow sticks! Now they are going to home, have sex, and of course refuse to wear a condom so they reproduce!" Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) and Jena the Mega Pimpin' Industrial Bitch (crackhead!) shuddered at the thought. That was scary...almost as as scary as oompa loompas, but not quite. Do you know what is scarier than oompa loompas? Having small children who sit in front of you on an airplane sing their songs in their freaky high pitched voices and you have no where to run... [get on with the damned story! -ed.]
Within a couple of hours, our girls were forced to watch many mating rituals. [Well, not really. Because they would throw their hands in front of their eyes as soon as one began -ed.] And the return of the lesser glow sticker. he regrouped (probably practiced in the bathroom in front of the mirror for a bit) and made for another attmept at the top podium. Only to fail again. Miserably. Once again, he was banished and sent back to the dance floor.
Then out came the leper, the glow sticker with glow sticks that didn't match.
"Hey, look Kymber, Cheerleader of the Damned (it'll be okay)! It's your boyfriend!" said Jena the Mega Pimpin' Industrial Bitch (crackhead!). At that very moment, the leper glow sticker fumbled his sticks (probably in sheer excitement over the factor of having Kymber, Cheerleader of the Damned (it'll be okay) as his girlfriend) and one flew out of his hand and almost hit Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)!
"Hey! Your boyfriend almost hit me with a glow stick! Control him, will you? I was that close to being a glow stick tradegy..." declared Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!), who quietly contemplated that sober reality.
"He's not my boyfriend!" cried Kymber, the Cheerleader of the Damned (it'll be okay.)
"Speaking of boyfriends, where's my beautiful blue haired boy who woke me up with kisses this morning?" asked Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)
"That was a dream! Just like Kymber, the Cheerleader of the Damned's (it'll be okay) shoes ever being white again. Only a dream. You know, white tennies are supposed to be that. White. If you wanted grey tennies you should of bought grey ones!" said Jena the Mega Pimpin' Industiral Bitch (crackhead!).
Depressed about Jena the Mega Pimpin' Industrial Bitch (crackhead) making fun of her shoes, Kymber, the Cheerleader of the Damned (it'll be okay) sat down and pouted. Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!) joined her hoping that she would have the same dream again tonite. [Me too! Damn, that was a good dream! -author]
All of a sudden, the glow stick society left. No hugs, No goodbyes, nothing. They just walked out the door without even a nod.
"Well, there goes my entertainment. My night is over, " said Super Happy Gothic Girl (ta da!)
And thankfully, so is this episode.
Once again, this is copyrighted. Along with those crazies, I have Kymber. You don't want to upset Kymber now do you?????
