I'd like to first say that the poem you are about to read has a very special meaning in my heart. I wrote this a few days after the Alaska Airlines Flight 261 went down off the coast of Los Angeles. The reason I wrote this poem is because a very close friend of mine was killed in that crash. This poem is dedicated to her. I love you Jacque.

Forever Angel
written 2/2/2000
Love in itself can't measure the pain I feel
The crashing and burning pain eating away every layer of my heart
So close but now a far away angel
An angel with a silver smile

Sweet angel
I only hope to see that smile one last time
If ever there were a way to bring you back
I'd give my soul for that chance

Everyday I will dream of you
Everyday my thoughts are of you

Each bright smile I see or upbeat laugh I hear
I will always think of you
You never knew how much you meant to me
I never had that amazing chance

Such a beautiful person who led an amazing life
I am eternally grateful that I can say I knew the great angel
I will love you always
I'll never forget you lovely angel
Rest well and I'll see you again soon

Cheap Thoughts
written 4/28/00
Let out of her shell too late
Left out in the cold to die
The cold rips her from the warm cocoon she knew for so many years

She wants to feel the passion roll through her with each motion
She feels an undulation of euphoria progress throughout each inch of her being
Each breath she takes feels like a rush of life has begun in her

The game takes her back again and again
Each bend of the back erupts a storm of energy in her
Her hand runs down the back as if she were slain by the present act
Her fingers brush over protuberances and imperfections of the subject
as the feeling of passion and zeal stir in her mind
Her grip matures into a ripping sensation

Suckle kiss lick
Bite nibble grope
Human nature

Love hate
Desire lust
Inhumane nature

She wants what that collection of endless pain and anger can give to her
With each drop of pain the being gives to her,
The more captivated she becomes by it
Grabbing at ecstasy
Never to let go
Hoping more will bring her over
Bring her over to the enlightened side of it all
Here finally she can be her self
Her true self
A whore

Spiral Wounds

written 4/27/00

Thoughts of you Wrapping your arms around me like the warm rays of love that you are
I want you to envelop me in your world
I want the waves of your love to find haven in my shore
Every sweep of your wings brings you closer to it's destination

I beckon to your every word out of unadulterated sexual hunger and lust
You give the whore inside of me what she's always craved
You feed the young child in me
You complete the abandoned lover in me
You release the overbearing beast in me

I yearn to feel your body against mine on a crisp jovial day
Wrapped around me like the first morning dew is on a lily
I can sense your breath on my vigilant skin
All i want is that touch
That touch of your initial desire for me
Without that I'm left hanging from my own erratic heart strings

Here I am
Spinning
Waiting
Wanting
You

False Strings written 4/5/00

I want you out of my mind
Out of my thoughts
My every waking moments

I think back to happy times
Sweet words
Wonderful promises
Only to learn you were a
wolf in sheep's clothing

Forever confused
My infatuation runs deep for
Your knives to pierce my heart
Everytime waiting for each touch
Painful or not

I want the thoughts of you to end
Why are you so special?
I tear at myself and endlessly ponder why

We must speak
Yet you avoid me like the plague
Now what am I to do with these
One sided thoughts and promises

Before I Die written 10/11/99

First star I see tonite
I wish I may
I wish I might
To see my love tonite

I wish to see his gleaming eyes
I wish to feel his strong tough thigs

I wish to hear his voice utter those three words
I wish to taste the beauty of his insides
I wish to smell his every waking scent

Every star hear my cry
For I want to be with him
Before I die

Moment Of Happiness written 9/12/99

His love was sweet
His love was special
I had the time of my life with him
He opened my eyes to love
He opened my heart to happiness
He was sweet
He was kind and ever so sexy
He had the voice of an angel
He made me feel like I could do anything...
As long as he loved me
I did everything I could
Maybe I'd do it all over again...
for that moment of happiness

I Love You? written 1/26/99

Living and bleeding
The claws, your claws
Tearing my insides apart

I love you so much
I carry a facade not to

My world has fallen apart
My trust in you is fading

can this hurt steal my feelings for you?
I need you by my side

My self has fallen apart
I need you to build me back up

I need you
I want you
Do I love you?

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