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Some Ifs! |
Say it! |
Love line(s) |
Insults! |
Some Ifs!
- If at first you don't succeed, be sure to
destroy the evidence!
- If you don't know who's the idiot in the game...it's you!
- If the world is a play, the script sucks!
- If you resolve to give up smoking and drinking,
you don't live longer. It just seems longer!
- If all the politicians were laid end to end, they would not reach a
conclusion!
- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come banks have so many branches!?
- If drinking and driving don't go along, how come bars have parking lots!
- If you want your parents to actually listen, try talking softly...to
someone else!
- If money talks, mine just says goodbye!
- If the hell is hot, heaven's burning...!
Say it!
- No matter how busy people are, they are never too busy to stop and talk
about how busy they are!
- Alcohol is the worst enemy of mankind. And The Bible says 'Love your enemy'!
- Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speech maker" let it go at that,
instead of giving a demonstration!
- The trouble with the word is that the stupid are cocksure and the
intelligent full of doubts!
- You must open the door for all people. If you don't like some, open it on
their face!
- I used to think that my brain is the most important organ of my body. But
then I realized who was telling me this!
- Don't steal. The government hates competition!
- The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it!

- Could you come to my garden with me. I want my roses to see you!
- I am new in town. Could I have directions to your house!?
- Did god make you on a holiday!?
- God loves you and so do I !?
- I just made a wish, and you came true!
- Do you have a map. I keep getting lost in your eyes!
- Looking at you, I can infer that god is very partial. What right does he
have to make you the most beautiful of 'em all !?
- True love is very momentary. But what a moment!
- You can live without something, if you have someone to live for!
Insults!
- A body like yours is the best proof that man has evolved from apes!
- How can you be there? I thought all the dodos were extinct!
- Hey! Do you wanna see somethin' funny? Look in a mirror!
- Is that your hair or did someone dump a bowl of noodles on your head!?
- I'd rather hug a cactus than hug you!
- You have a pretty little head. For a head, its pretty little!
- I wish I had a little less IQ, so I could enjoy your company!
- Was that you singing or is someone torturing a cat?
- Please help us fight air-pollution. Take a shower!
- He's such a blockhead, he doesn't get dandruff, only sawdust!
- Who does your hair? The bride of Frankenstein!?