This is chronic

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>> A bloke in a wheelchair enters 'Stars In Their Eyes' and goes on stage.
>> Matthew Kelly asks him his name, to which he replies "Simon".
>> "And why are you in this wheelchair, Simon?" asks Matthew.
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>> "Well, two years ago my uncle and I were involved in a car crash.
>> My uncle was killed instantly and I was trapped for 6 hours before the
>emergency services could cut me free.
>> Unfortunately they had to amputate both my legs.
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>> However, the good news was that they managed to save my uncle's legs and
>transplant them on to me, and in 6 months the doctors tell me I should be
>walking.
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>> "Excellent" says Matthew, "and who have you come as tonight?"
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>> "Well Matthew, tonight, I'm going to be........
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>> Wait for it...........
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>> ..........Simon & Halfuncle
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