The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other contender. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded the English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phased plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”. In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with the “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20% shorter.
letters, which have always been a deterent to
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” in
the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the 4th year,
peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with
“v”. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining
“ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After
ziz fifz year ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand each ozer.
Ze
drem vil finali kum tru!!!