Sending this one unbeta'd so all mistakes are ours!

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Getting to the Heart of It
by Marianne and Christina

Something was up with Grace again. Jasa didn't need
Cade Wakeham's telepathic abilities to tell herself
that. She could tell by looking at her student that
the pressure cooker was reaching critcal mass and the
blonde didn't need much more to push her over the
edge.

So, enough being enough, Jasa stood.

"Grab your sword and come on," she informed her
student as she selected her favourite sword and
started toward the door.

"My sword. Why Jase? You know I don't carry one, at
least not anymore. Where are we going?" Jasa gave her
that look the brooked no argument, and Grace stood and
picked up her tachi, she slid it into it's scabbard
and followed her teacher out the door. "Are you going
to tell me or not?"

"You'll see," was the only response. Jasa knew full
well as long as she kept some of the mystery
surrounding it, Grace would follow... if only to
satisfy her intense curiosity. A tiny smile quirked
at the older Immortal's lips. Sometimes, Grace really
did remind her of herself -- only less cold-blooded
and calculating.

And follow her Grace did... all the while asking her
what she had planned. She was back to clenching her
fists. Not a good sign. The session with Coltec had
helped immensely, but she was having the nightmares
again. She hated those, and her damn charge... her
first charge, wasn't helping her at all. Now Jasa was
playing follow the leader and leading Grace across
town. There were times when she just couldn't figure
the ancient woman out.

Arriving at the dojo, Jasa swept into the room and
kicked off her shoes -- prefering to fight in bare
feet -- and tossed her coat after it. "Now... Fight."
She waited in a ready stance, eyeing her student
expectantly. She had a good idea of how the fight
would go... and she wouldn't have it any other way.

Grace just stared at her. "There's no way you are
serious about this, Jase. I am not in the right frame
of mine. I decimate holograph programs. I don't want
to do this." Still, even as she talked, she sighed and
said, "If you are serious about this, I need a
minute."

Jasa was serious and she also had no intentions of
giving Grace a minute. Instead she lashed out with a
kick that caught her student on the leg then danced
away, sword weaving.

Grace rubbed at the leg and hissed, "Dammit, Jasa, I'm
too heavily armed for this. If you want me to
electrocute you with my cattle prod, I will. If not,
give me a chance to get ready. Damn!" She felt her
anger rising, she'd also bet all her money that that
was Jasa's aim.

"Ditch the weapons then fight," came the calm comment
as the ancient waited with a ready posture.

Not taking her eyes off her teacher, Grace put down
her sword and first removed her gun. Her long knife
followed as did her cattle prod. She glanced sidelong
to Jasa and then reached down into her pantleg and
removed a shiv. There were now comments coming from
bystanders as to the amount of defenses she carried
around. The owner was smiling. Oh yes, Duncan MacLeod
remembered her. Her derringer was the last thing to
go. She patted her thighs making sure she had it all
and then exhaled. Shoes now off, she stepped onto
the mat. "No rules?" she asked.

"Leave each other's head in place," Jasa said then
delivered another kick.

Grace saw it coming and took it full force before
grunting and hitting Jasa's shoulder with the handle
of her sword. Fighting close was Grace's specialty.
Her sword, she hadn't picked up in years but it came
back to her easily as she spun and attacked viciously.

Not at all surprised by the ferocious attack, Jasa
fought with her usual analytical attitude, avoiding
the more harsher blows while landing a few of her own.
This was good. Grace needed this, gods... she needed
this herself.

Without hesitation Jasa kept pushing her student,
trying to uncover more of what Grace had kept pent
up. The more that got out the better.

There was a moment when Jasa had Grace down on the
mat. Everyone thought for sure that she was
done in, but then they didn't know Grace. For in that
moment, she forgot that this was Jasa. Rolling to her
side, she went up on her elbow and kicked her opponent
hard in the lower stomach. She was then up in one
fluid motion and delivered another kick to the woman's
sword shoulder. Getting her feet under her, she struck
again with another forceful kick.

Body stinging from the blows, Jasa rolled out of reach
and came up, meeting Grace's sword with her own. Yes
this was good. This was very good. She could feel
Grace coming alive before her. There was nothing more
exhilirating than a good sword fight. Even when you
were getting your butt kicked. Some teachers might be
nervous about that, being beaten by their own student
but not Jasa. Jasa knew, at least, she'd done her job,

Grace was able to survive. And thrive.

And in that, Jasa couldn't be more proud.

If Grace could have thought, she would have been
surprised at how easily the skills came back to her.
She was pressing hard, cutting and getting cut in
return, but she didn't feel them. Taking cuts was
necessary when defeating an opponent. Then she
remember a move, one that had been instinctive in her
past. She went low, spun, came around her opponent's
back, hit her in between her shoulder blades, which
sent her to her knees. It was so simple to remove her
head. Oh, so simple. And Grace wanted that. To feel
the force of a Quickening running through her body.
It had been decades since her last. It would be so
nice!!! Pulling back, she started the killing blow.
Fortunately, she came to her senses and stopped the
blow. "Jasa?" she questioned softly.

Looking at her calmly, Jasa quirked a smile. "Not bad
kid."

She knew others would say she was crazy but Jasa knew
within her that Grace would never take her head, not
with malicious intent. It was a certainty within her.
She was no fool, she knew circumstances that could one
day force Grace to do it but she also knew it wouldn't
be an easy choice.

Flicking a lock of dark hair away from her face, her
smile broadened. "Not bad at all."

The sword fell from Grace's hands and she fell on the
mat beside her teacher. "Thank God you set up the
rule about leaving heads intact or I don't know what I
would have done. If I killed you..." she paused and
ran her hand through her short, blonde hair. "Damn,
that felt good though."

"You wouldn't," came the chuckled response. "And even
if you did, here they'd just hit the reset button."
Flopping back on the mat, Jasa relaxed. "And it did
feel good."

"Confession though... there isn't a muscle in my body
that doesn't hurt. And I know that the only reason
why I got you down was because I'm a pressure cooker."
Reaching out, she took her friend's hand. "Thank you."

Jasa laughed. "You're welcome. And I suggest we find
some guy with magic hands to work out the kinks. Its
been too long since we did that..."

Grace nodded and laughed. "Definitely. Only ones I
know though are criminals. I'll have to follow your
lead once again."

"Hmmm... For you... I recommend a friend of mine. He's
got cold hands... But talented." She winked. "and the
fangs are to die for. Literally."

Grace looked at her out of the corner of her eye.
"Fangs. First you want to beat the shit out of me and
then you want one of your lovers to suck me dry.
Whatever did I do to you?" To anyone else standing
around and watching, it was hard to believe that the
pair that had fought so fiercely five minutes ago was
now laughing together. But that was the beauty of
their closeness. They had no bounds.

Jasa snickered. "Beat the shit out of *who*? And he
won't suck you *entirely* dry."

Grace pulled off her shirt, wearing only her sports
bra now and showed Jasa her healing bruises. "I took a

few hits of my own... Mom." She laughed and then
patted Jasa on her sword shoulder. "And if he can work
out these kinks, I may let him have his way with me."
She paused. "Did I just say that?"

Rotating said shoulder, Jasa winked. "Sure you did.
And when you let him you'll be saying a lot more.
Considerably *louder* but a lot more."

Standing, Grace offered Jasa her hand. "The louder,
the better in my book. We've known one another too
long to keep anything like that a secret." Riddick's
words about Jasa's possible past floated back to her
but she squelched them. This was the Jasa she knew and

loved, and if there was another side, well she'd deal
with that but it would never changed how she felt for
her. Never. "Would this lovely young man happen to be
my co-worker?"

"He would be," Jasa agreed, "And you'll love what he
can do."

Grace shrugged. "Well, I meet no one as a sweaty mess.
I would offend the dead." Laughing she said, "Or
even the undead."

Jasa nodded. "How about a quick trip over to the
holodeck? Enjoy a good relaxing bath instead of a
shower."

"Mmmm, a Turkish bath. I haven't been pampered like
that in centuries. Well, since the last time I was
there anyway."

"Ooh yes..." Jasa wiggled her toes and grinned. "I
loved those. Almost as good as the baths we had at the
palace. Pity you missed out on those. Gods, Egypt took
bathing to a new level."

"Only by a couple millennia. I got the plague, the
crusades, and what else... the inquisition. Fun times
to be had by all." They reached the holodeck and
programmed it so that they could be pampered to the
hilt. This was going to feel almost as good as that
fight.

"Poor baby." Jasa chuckled. "And you missed out on
most of the Roman Empire so consider yourself lucky."

"Hmmm, fighting lions or being tortured by the
Spaniards. Tough choices." They walked into the
dressing room and disrobed before putting on the big,
white fluffy robes the Bath provided. "Funny, I don't
remember these."

"More like impaled on poles and used as human torches,
or worse..." Jasa snuggled into the robe. "It's an
improvement though, doncha think?"

"I think they are divine," Grace said, pulling the
warm fuzzy cloth up to her cheeks. "I swear I haven't
been pampered in years. Most of my time was spent in a
cramped ship hunting down escaped convicts. This is
the life."

"Oh yes... Pampering is good." Jasa chuckled. "Can you
tell I've spent most of my life as a pampered Egyptian
noble. Gods..."

They were now neck deep in water being bathed by
strong men. "Can you tell I could have been one?"
Grace asked leaning into the man's strong
hand.

"Oh you would have enjoyed it." Jasa purred, not
complaining when her 'bather's' hands seemed to stray.
"Perhaps I'll write up a program for you. You can live
out the fun parts. The baths... the... guards..."

Grace was starting to nod off, this was paradise. "I
won't say no if you do. If it's anything like this, I
could become addicted. Oh my!" The last was said as
her bather began to wash her chest. "I didn't strain
those, but it's still nice."

Jasa chuckled. "Isn't it though? And that's the fun
these boys... Very good with their hands."

"Extremely. The kinks are floating away with the
water. This place isn't so bad after all. Definitely
has it's perks."

"Ooh yes..." Relaxing in the water, Jasa sighed. "Feel
better?"

"I could fall asleep, heck I could die a happy woman
so long as this man continues to work out my sore...
ow... muscles. Absolute divinity."

"Total," Her teacher agreed, "Mmmmm... And there are
worse ways to go then this."

Grace nodded. "I've seen some of them." She was
starting to doze.

"We both have," Jasa agreed, letting her eyelids
droop.

Before Grace knew what was happening, she was sound
asleep in her bathers arms. Too bad she had to dream.
She woke with a start and looked around.

"You okay?" Jasa queried, hearing the movement and
lifting her head slightly.

Grace moved quickly from the tub. "I'm fine. Just a
bad dream. All immortals have them. Can't beat them
out of us no matter how hard we try. I'll be fine." No
way was she going to tell Jasa what she saw in that
dream.

Jasa hopped out of the tub and grabbed her friend's
arm. "Nothing doing, Grace Hammond. What's wrong?"

Taking Jasa's hand and removing it, she said, "Believe
me, you don't want to know. Ok? I'll be fine."

"Oh yeah, just like you were fine before I dragged you
into the dojo? Spill, kid."

Squatting down onto the floor, she stared at it and
said, "You know how smart Riddick is. Well, apparently
when you two met, he gleaned some information about
you. Info he thought I already knew, so he asked me
about it."

Reaching for a robe, Jasa sighed. "He did, did he?
And what did he say?"

Grace shrugged. "Nothing specific. That's his way.
Just that you knew what it was like to be him because
you used to be like him. He said only someone who had
lived his life would know in that much detail what it
was like. And in my heart, I know it doesn't matter if
you were or weren't. You're the only mother I've ever
known, and if you were as he says, it helped make you
who you are today... even when you saved me. But in my
head..."

"Well I thank you for that..." The Egyptian twisted
her wet hair and gestured for the attendants to leave
them. "But I think you deserve an explanation then."

Grace pulled down her robe and covered herself. "I
mean this, Jase. I want it only if you want to give
it. It's not my place to judge you. Anyone else, I
have no qualms with being judge, jury and executioner.
But I have no right with you. You don't owe me an
explanation." A part of her was just shocked that
Riddick had been right. The man was good.

"Perhaps not owe, but since Riddick hit on it, I might
as well." Jasa paced a few steps and composed
herself. "Would it shock you to know that early in my
life, I didn't care about anything or anyone save
myself? In fact, I was so coldblooded, I probably made
the Bronze Age version of Methos look... well, like a
choir boy."

Grace looked up into her teacher's eyes. "I guess it
would be a lie if I said it didn't surprise me. I've
never seen you as anything but how you are."

Jasa smiled. "Which is probably why I never told you.
I rather like being nothing more than the mothering
teacher... rather than the coldblooded bitch who'd
slit your throat and wouldn't think twice. She's still
in there somewhere... in here." The Egyptian tapped
her chest lightly. "I can feel her. She's the part of
me that takes over when I go into a fight, when I
served the Pharoahs... The one who ordered soldiers to
decimate the lands of anyone that opposed the Pharoah
in power... or my authority. I felt nothing about it.
No guilt, no remorse. I didn't feel anything."

Grace couldn't deny that it hurt to hear this. And
there were tears in her eyes as she asked simply,
"Why?"

"Once, thousands of years ago... A race of beings...
the Goa'uld came to earth. They were symbiotic...
parasites really, I'm sure you've heard of Tanith --
he's one of them. They assumed the identities of the
Egyptian gods... we believed them to be gods. They
choose hosts based on beauty and strength. I was
*chosen* to become the host of Isis. She was cold and
heartless... It's a horrible thing to be trapped
inside your own mind, especially when you have to
share it with Isis. Soon it became easier to just hide
in my own mind."

Jasa seated herself and smoothed wrinkles from her
robe. "When I was freed... in a rebellion. I became
so angry -- it burned in me. I hated the Goa'uld, I
hated humans for letting me be taken, I hated
everything. But hate even leaves you eventually...
When it did, I was dead inside. I didn't care about
anything, or anyone, except myself. Some part of me
still wanted survival. I let a teacher train me in the
ways of the game, then I left her behind and became an
advisor to the Pharoah. He believed me to be the
daughter of Isis and I didn't do anything to
discourage that. He, and the rest of the palace,
looked on me as a goddess... I was used to worship --
thanks to Isis. And I let them."

Grace moved close to her teacher and drew comfort from
her presence, just as she had when she was a child.
"But it wasn't you. All that time, it wasn't you. This
is the real you, I believe that. They controlled you.
From what I heard of Tanith, once they get in, you
can't fight them. What I find the most
astounding is that you retained yourself. That when
it was over, you had enough of *you* in there to
finally be who you are now." She didn't know if she
was making sense, but she never could believe that the

woman she leaned on now would slit her throat. Just as
Jasa trusted her to not take her head, she knew Jasa
would never hurt her. "I can't judge you. I just
can't. Not you."

"I know." Jasa ran a hand over the blonde's hair, as
she'd done so many times before. "But when I came
back... I was very much me then... it was the biggest
mistake I've ever made... but I have killed a lot of
people. I wish I hadn't. I wish I could change the
past... I can't. That's what Riddick saw in me. What I
see in him. The cold-blooded killer."

"He got all of that from you in one meeting, Jasa.
I've known you for almost my entire life and never
knew. Not that I'm blaming. But you could have told
me before this." She paused for a minute and then
asked, "You came through it. Do you think he can? Or
is he a lost cause? If you two have this in common,
who would know better than you?"

"I know he can." Jasa smiled. "Monsters aren't born,
Grace. We're made. And we can be unmade... or at least
controlled." She brushed a hair away from the younger
Immortal's face. "And you know the saying, it takes
one to know one? That's how he saw it when you
couldn't. The idea of mass murder is as foreign to you
as the idea of mercy is foreign to the Goa'uld. You're
blessed that way."

"I only have it because of you." It dawned on her
then. "That's why you were always so emphatic about me

knowing right from wrong. That punishing those who
were wrong was the right thing to do... because you
were like them." It all fell into place now. Her need
for justice came directly from this woman, and now
she knew why.

Jasa's smile turned sad. "Now you see."

"You wanna know what I see?" Grace asked. "I see my
best friend and my mother. I see the one I've trusted
through thick and thin. The one who believed in me
when no one else did. I see the person who held my
hand when I died that first horrible death and I see
the woman who took the time and had the patience to
make sure I could survive in this world. That's what I
see." The words came out a little vehemently, but she
meant every one of them with everything that was in
her.

"You see a lot," her mother teased with a wink,
tapping her on the nose. "And you are more insightful
than I could ever have hoped. Perhaps that's why you
brought Riddick here... you like fixer-uppers."

She nodded. "From what that holy man told me, how
could I not give him a chance? I know there's more
that went on than what I was told, and he has killed
and enjoyed it greatly. He still has that desire, but
he should have that chance if he can because no one
has ever given it to him. No one."

"He will always be what he is," Jasa noted calmly.
"Just as I am, but -- like me -- he can learn not to
need to kill. To find pleasure in other things. More
even."

"Like finding someone to care about more than himself.
Is that how you did it? By taking in children? I hope
he finds someone to feel that way about."

"Yes. It is how. I found pleasure in life. In
experiencing it. So much so that I decided I didn't
need death... I had enough of that in the Game... I
didn't need mortal lives to take too."

Grace shuddered. "I hate taking heads, I hate
Quickenings. You know I've taken more than most
people's fair share, but I still hate it. Wouldn't
that surprise Riddick? In the end all immortals
are killers. I'm guilty of that myself."

"Its one thing to kill for pleasure, quite another to
kill for justice or survival."

"Well, you know who will rub it in, I'm sure. But
don't worry. I can handle him. I've done so thus far.
Do you think he can do it though? Find someone who he
can care about more than himself?"

"I think he already has," Jasa noted calmly.

In all innocence, because in a way she really was,
Grace smiled at her teacher and asked, "Who? And how
do you know?"

"You don't know?" the Egyptian chuckled and patted her
hand. "I know because I saw it in him."

"Well, I guess you would. You two seem to know one
another better than I know either of you. But who is
she? I should at least know who she is, don't you
think?" She was really wracking her brain now. Who
could he have met?

Laughing, Jasa cybered up a mirror and held it up to
show Grace's reflection. "Her."

Grace's face reflected shock. Pushing the offending
mirror away she said, "Please. He cares enough to
harass me, and tell me things to upset me. We can't be
in the same room without arguing. He's insufferable
about my night with MacLeod, even though it was
actually only comfort sex. Still, he's horrible
about... about it. Oh my gods," she said as she stood,
"you don't think. Oh dear. What do I do about that? I
don't feel the same... do I?"

"I can't answer that one for you, I can only tell you
that sometimes... well as Derek and I well prove, or
Enrico and I, the greater the fight -- the more
passion there is."

Leaning against the wall, the blonde said, "That's a
lot to digest, Jasa. A lot. It's been a long day all
the way around." Rubbing her hands on her face
she mumbled, "God, what if I do?"

"Go to bed." She smiled, patting her daughter's hand.
"Take a sleeping aide if the nightmares bother you
again. Or perhaps spend time with a warm -- or cold --
body. Someone to wear you out a little. And then we'll
see how things look in the morning."

"Sleep. I would be too distracted to be with a warm or
cold body. As nice as that may sound. Poor guy... it
wouldn't be fair. But tomorrow night... that might be
nice."

"Then rest. Sleep at the house with us. I have a spare
room. Riddick wouldn't question that now would he?"

"He'd freak cause I wasn't where I should be. But five
will get you ten, he'll know where I am anyway. He's
constantly sneaking into my townhouse. Though a part
of me finds that amusing. I'd let him in. And staying
with you would be nice. An evening with you, Derek,
and Emma. I would be with family. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jasa grinned. "And I expect we'll be
up half the night anyway... Sleep in disgustingly late
and eat absolutely nothing healthy."

"Oo, a slumber party. Let's." The pair hurried and
dressed and made their way home for an evening of fun.
And true to her words, the fight, the bath, and the
truth had worn Grace out... happily though. And that
night, when she did sleep, not one bad dream crossed
her subconscious. For the first time since coming to
SV... she was at peace.

 

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