November 10, 2002 (Maria Island, a surreal encounter with Newman and Fishmas Day declared)

After leaving the Belgian girls and Davina at Bicheno (their tour ends there) we headed off to Maria Island. The ferry crossing was not so bad though you would think from B's screams the undulations of the waves were of white squall intensity. I think she is hysterical. Funny, funny, funny and charming.

So, Maria Island was once a penal settlement for not so hardened convicts. And would you believe me if I tell you the present accommodations in the island if you choose to stay is in the penitentiary? Now you need to pay to sleep where the convicts once slept. Nice. Hahahahah..anyway, there are bunk beds now and matresses. Each "room" is equipt with wood-fired heater but there are neither showers nor hot water. There are toilettes however. Yeah, think about that for a moment...hahahah

A Surreal Seinfeld Experience:

Once we docked at Darlington Township, right there on the jetty stood the source of our group's most surreal experience. At first I thought his face looked familiar. Then I noticed that there were two tripods folded nearby and a case that resembled a betacam case…then it hit me! Oh my gosh...is that? Could that be? No...holy hell...I rushed towards Tracey, Mark and Paul who were standing a few feet away from me and whispering amongst themselves as only proper English people do. I asked them if they watch "Seinfeld" and just as the words left my mouth we all realized that indeed, the jolly looking man standing on the jetty was Newman! (all together now...think of Jerry and say..."Newman!" Ahhaahaahah) I think we were all star struck. And I chose to personify the obnoxious American and come up to Newman and asked him if indeed he was Newman. He smiled at me, shook my hand and said yes. At that point I chose to inform him that my friends were all wondering if he could wave back at them…and the most precious and hilarious scene I had ever seen happened. There they were, all my group mates lined up, looking at Newman, waving and smiling like fools! Hahahahahah…oh how precious that scene looked. I properly thanked him and managed to get back to my group without tripping all over the place. We did manage to compose ourselves and held back the laughter and Seinfeld episode recollections. Sarah even told us a story involving Newman.

She went to Newman college and in their college ID cards is the face of Newman. Take this card to a pub and you get free beer. Hahhahah and so even for her, a Newman sighting is prized. Anyway, off we went to the penitentiary to start on lunch and hope that the tide stays low so we can enjoy the Painted Cliffs walk.

The Painted Cliffs (from the Maria Island National Park brochure):

Although this sort of rock formation is common, it is rare for it to be so extensively and beautifully exposed. The wonderful patterns are caused by group water percolating down through the already formed sandstone and leaving traces of iron oxides, which have stained the rock formation. This probably occurred millions of years ago in a monsoonal climate. More recently, sea spray hitting the rock face has dried, forming salt crystals. These crystals caused the rock to weather in the honeycomb patterns. Wave action has also created some interesting features. Rock fragments moved around by the water have gradually worn small potholes into the cliff face, eventually resulting in undercutting of the cliff.

We stayed around the Painted Cliffs area for a good hour or so. The only reason for going back to the penitentiary was lunch needed to be started. Besides, we were hoping for another Newman sighting. And we had good luck, Newman's party was staying in the same place as us. They took over the three "dorm rooms" next to ours. And Michael, the ever-resourceful tour guide, broke a deal with Newman's people. Hahahaahh Michael was suggesting a true blue Tazmanian swap - one Abalone for beer, as many beer as possible that they can spare. And you know, we got five beers for that Abalone. Though I think some of us had our hearts set for having lunch with Newman. Hahahhah

When we finally got tired of referring to Newman as Newman or Sally's boyfriend from Third Rock from the Sun, I walked up to this gorgeous man whom I could only assume was the camera operator with curly brown hair, blue eyes, very long legs and nice rear to ask if he knew Newman's real name. I am sure he told me Newman's real name, but I was so mesmerized by his smile that I walked away not knowing what I set out to do. Rather embarassing if you ask me. It was Mark and B who cornered another man (turned out he was the producer of the show) to ask for Newman's name. Wayne Knight! Yes! Thank you. They were there shooting beautiful landscapes for an outdoor cable show in the States. And as it turned out the gorgeous man was not a camera operator but the tour guide. His name is Joe and he is single. Hahahahah Michael found that out for B and me. He was not very subtle about it too. From across the penitentiary, Michael shouted his questions to Joe...are you single, care to have a cup of coffee with two silly girls? Thanks buddy! And poor Joe! According to Tracey he turned two shades of red and did not know what to do with himself. hahahahaah

Anyway, Wayne Knight was standing around talking to the producer when Paul came out from his English shy shell and requested for a group photo. Bless his heart! Newman was very personable and agreed to a celebrity photo op. A slew of cameras came Joe's way and he clicked, clicked, clicked away. Oh my god, he was gorgeous. Nice smile, nice ass, nice shoulders, did I mention how nice his rear looked? Oi! Anyway, I now have a photo of Newman. Hahhahah

Maria Island has many attractions and we were not able to experience them all. Our group managed to hike close to Fossil Cliff and take photos of the Forrester Kangaroos and Cape Barren Geese.

Fishmas Day:

We were supposed to stay overnight on the island, but for some reason it was decided that we were to stay at the Udda Backpackers hostel. Ok then. At least I got to do my laundry that night and over two bottles of red wine with Tracey, Mark, Paul, Natalie and B, we started a new holiday - Fishmas Day, November 10. This fellowship of Fishmas, six people gathered to see the wild Tazmanian landscape, experience the allure of meeting Newman and sample the delicate taste of a shellfish called Abalone. The official Fishmas symbol, a group drawing of a being with a fishbowl for a head, a sparsely haired chest, arms too short, a happy belly button, hips shaped like a pine tree, legs too long and feet clad in ballet shoes. Hahahaaha the official Fishmas symbol is in the safe hands of B. Next year, November 10, 2003 we shall all gather at B's home, enjoy her mother's curry and remind ourselves of what Fishmas stands for. (errr, Tracey, help me out here, what does it stand for again? Paul? You came up with the this holiday's name...) Anyway, same date next year, we shall raise our glasses and toast Fishmas Day! May the shellfish not stink and the weather not grim. Hahahhaah

The Udda Backpackers hostel is one cold place. I almost froze my head off that night. I really was contemplating on dragging my sorry ass near the fireplace to get some heat. Unfortunately, I remembered that I do not know how to start a fire and fearful of burning the place down, I decided to stay in my bunk bed and shiver my way throughout the night.

I am Mary Grace, enjoying the blessings of Fishmas Day.