SERVICE REP:  Hello, you have reached the Heart System
              Software Company help desk,How may I help you?

CUSTOMER:     I just received your latest program, LOVEv4.0...
              you know the freeware. I don't understand it.
              Can you tell me how to install it?

SERVICE REP:  Sure thing ma'am. Do you have the installation
              disk and instructions with you?

CUSTOMER:     Yes I do, but first can you tell me what the
              program does?

SERVICE REP:  Sure thing ma'am. LOVE is a unique program,
              there is no other like it in the world. LOVE
              attaches to your operating system and runs
              silently in the background, you will never see
              LOVE on your monitor or your toolbar, but you
              will notice its effect on every application
              you may have. It makes the good programs run
              smoother and greatly restricts and/or deletes
              the bad ones.

CUSTOMER:     Wow! That sounds great. How does LOVE make my
              machine run smoother?

SERVICE REP:  Well, good sound files, like COMPLIMENT.WAV
              ENCOURAGEMENT.WAV, and KINDWORD.WAV will play
              frequently. Also, FORGIVENESS.EXE will be
              invoked every time there is an external
              violation, including the ever-popular syntax
              errors. Also, all those aggravating errors
              that say "unable to connect" will be avoided.
              LOVE allows for a smooth connection with
              external devices, regardless of what country
              it is manufactured in, the brand name, or the
              age of the model.

CUSTOMER:     That's exactly what I need, my machine has
              been isolated for too long. But what about the
              bad programs?

SERVICE REP:  Good question. LOVE searches your memory for
              programs like HATE.COM, BITTERNESS.EXE,
              SELFISH.COM, and SPITE.EXE. These programs
              can't be entirely deleted off your hard drive
              but LOVE overpowers those programs. LOVE stops
              their commands from being executed and runs
              its own instructions. You will no longer hear
              INSULT.WAV and you won't be able to write with
              the fonts "BADWORDS12" or "HARSHNESS10"
 

CUSTOMER:     That's a fantastic program you have. Are the
              upgrades free too?

SERVICE REP:  They sure are ma'am.

CUSTOMER:     How do I get the upgrades?

SERVICE REP:  That's easy. Once you have LOVE installed and
              running, it automatically copies a module, or
              a piece of itself, to every external Harddrive
              Email and Remote Terminal (H.E.A.R.T.) that it
              comes in contact with. In turn, those external
              devices run whatever version of LOVE they have
              and return a module to your H.E.A.R.T. You
              will be upgraded with each and every module
              that you receive. But you have to remember, to
              receive the upgrades you have to be running
              LOVE and you have to come into contact with
              other computers while it is running.

CUSTOMER:     I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I
              think I am ready to install now. What do I do
              first?

SERVICE REP:  The first step is to open your H.E.A.R.T. Have
              you located your H.E.A.R.T. ma'am?

CUSTOMER:     Yes I have, but there are several programs
              running right now. Is it okay to install while
              they are running?

SERVICE REP:  What programs are running ma'am?

CUSTOMER:     Let me see..I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE
              GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right
              now.
 

SERVICE REP:  No problem. LOVE will automatically erase
              PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating
              system. It may remain in your permanent memory
              but it will no longer disrupt other programs.
              LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE
              with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE
              However, you have to completely turn off
              GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs
              prevent LOVE from being properly installed.
              Can you turn those off ma'am?

CUSTOMER:     I don't know how to turn them off. Can you
              tell me how?

SERVICE REP:  My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
              FORGIVENESS.EXE Do this as many times as
              necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
              have been completely erased.

CUSTOMER:     Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing
              itself automatically. Is that normal?

SERVICE REP:  Yes it is. You should receive a message that
              says it will reinstall for the life of your
              H.E.A.R.T. Do you see that message?

CUSTOMER:     Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

SERVICE REP:  Yes, but remember that you have only the base
              program.You need to begin connecting to other
              H.E.A.R.T.'s in order to get the upgrades.

CUSTOMER:     Oops..I have an error message already. What
              should I do?

SERVICE REP:  What does the message say?

CUSTOMER:     It says "ERROR412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL
              COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

SERVICE REP:  Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It
              means that the LOVE program is set up to run
              on external H.E.A.R.T.s but has not yet been
              run  on your H.E.A.R.T. It is one of those
              complicated programming things but in
              non-technical terms it means you have to
              "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE"
              others.

CUSTOMER:     So what should I do?

SERVICE REP:  Can you find the directory called "SELF-
              ACCEPTANCE?"

CUSTOMER:     Yes I have it.

SERVICE REP:  Excellent, you are getting good at this.

CUSTOMER:     Thank you.

SERVICE REP:  You're welcome. Click on the following files
              and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
              FORGIVESELF.DOC,SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALISEWORTH.
              TXT, AND GOODNESS.DOC. The system will
              overwrite any conflicting files and begin
              patching any faulty programming. Also you need
              to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE. from all directories
              and then  empty your recycle bin afterwards to
              make sure it is completely gone and never
              comes back.

CUSTOMER:     Got it. Hey! My H.E.A.R.T. is filling up with
              really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my
              monitor right now and it shows that "WARMTH.
              COM, PEACE.EXE and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying
              themselves all over my H.E.A.R.T.!

SERVICE REP:  Then LOVE is installed and running.You should
              be able to handle it from here. One more thing
              before I go...

CUSTOMER:     Yes?

SERVICE REP:  LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its
              modules to everybody you meet. They will in
              turn share it with other people and they will
              return some really neat modules back to you.

CUSTOMER:     I will.  Thank you for your help...

 Source Unknown

              "Love is patient, love is kind.
             It does not envy, it does not boast,
             it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is
             not self-seeking, it is not easily
             angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
             Love does not delight in evil but
             rejoices with the truth. It always
             protects, always trusts, always hopes,
             always perseveres."LOVE NEVER FAILS"

                    1 Corinthians 13:4-8a