LEAVE


I kiss him goodbye
I pat his cheek
And feel it -
Strangely silken
To the touch

I never realized how silken a beard is
So strangely silken
To the touch

An odd thought to have
At such a moment.

"Goodbye", I say
"Shalom"
And we look at each other
And I know
He knows
The things I want to say
Were spoken
Unspoken.

Who knows when I'll see him again!
But this we do not mention
We only say
"Baruch Hashem, Yom Yom
And with that
We speak
The Unspeakable.
My past is there
Standing in the doorway
His wife and children
Waiting for him in the car below
And we are saying
The simplest of goodbyes
"Shalom"
"Lehitraoth"
I stand in the doorway
Watching him
Turn slowly as he smiles
Walking down the steps
My past is walking down the steps
My past
In him ever present:
The fear of childbirth
The glory of childbirth
The early years
The coming alive of new feelings
The extension of oneself into another
The pouring of oneself into another
The parting of oneself from another
It's all there
At the top of the stairs
Turning to walk down the steps
We've said the simplest of goodbyes
"Shalom", I say
"Lehitraot", he says

And I say again
"Shalom,
My son".

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This material is ©1998 by Grace Hollander
3 Keren Haysod St., Ramat Ilan, Givat Shmuel, Israel 51905

Permission to distribute this material, with this notice is granted - with request to notify of use by surface mail
or at gracehol@internet-zahav.net.