Halloween 1999
by: Ryp, Sweens, Grace and an absent friend

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Wands (Part 1)

When the weather turns
From warm to crisp
And the hunter's moon grows bright
It's time to unleash
Your opposite side
At the Tavern on Saturday night

Come as you aren't
And join in the fun
Take a chance and have a ball
At moonrise come dance
And drink with your friends
To the glorious splendor of fall

Lhyric smirked as she re-read the scroll - pretty good, if she did say so
herself. Raising her eyes to the crowded dance floor, the bouncer babe
laughed aloud - the Tavern was really rocking tonight, and the denizens
looked - well, not like themselves, that's for sure. Grace stood behind
the bar with a huge frosted glass that she claimed to have filled with ice
water - the owner sipped delicately from the vessel, proudly displaying
her Just Say No button to everyone. Lhyric waved at her petite boss,
grabbing Joxer's over-sized hat with her other hand as it slipped over her
gray/green eyes. Too bad so many of the other regulars had the same idea
- CCAmazon and Stefka laughed and toasted each other with Hercules Strong
Ale on the other side of the room, both sporting bizarre body armor
reminiscent of some poor blacksmith's nightmare.

The Old Hunter's Tricks had taken the stage in their usual inimitable
style, but in keeping with the costume theme of the evening, they all
sported - lederhosen? Lhyric squinted, then laughed again as Owlharp blew
a particularly loud blast on the tuba she had learned to play especially
for this evening. Stacey/Meg, Mare and Reille crowded around the
microphone, their voices blending together in soaring harmonies that
astonished even them. The crowd roared appreciatively as the singers
improvised complex melodies and counterpoints, each outdoing the other as
they wailed.

A disturbance at the door caught the bouncer's ever-watchful ear and eye -
turning to make sure things remained under control, Lhyric paused in shock
and then joined the rest of the Tavern in cheers and laughter. For
standing in the doorway, sheepish and yet just the tiniest bit proud of
their cleverness, stood Hercules and Iolaus in the last costumes anyone
would have expected. Mmmmmuffin walked around the two heroes, shaking her
head and emitting a low wolf whistle as she checked out their shapely
legs. "Okay, boys, I'll admit that you have nice gams, but what possessed
you to think you had the right, um, attributes to carry off Xena and
Gabrielle?" She ran a finger down Hercules arm, smiling wickedly at him.

Iolaus grabbed his halter-top and adjusted himself, feigning indignation.
"Hey, I'll have you know I was propositioned by THREE barbarians on the
way here!" Hercules rolled his eyes and blushed. "Come on, 'Gabby',
let's get something to drink." They made their way over to the bar,
Hercules sheepishly raising his hand to acknowledge the catcalls as Iolaus
preened and blew kisses to his admirers.
********************

Iola Beth moved gracefully across the room, regal and mysterious in the
deep burgundy gown from Chin that Salmoneous had given her after she
helped him choose a fortuitous day for starting a new business. Only the
black velvet bag tied snugly at her waist ornamented her, the embroidered
golden moons and stars reflecting distracting vibrations from the pouch
that held her tarot cards. Smiling serenely at the tavern denizens, she
took her customary place in the back booth, certain that she'd be busy
with many questioners on this night of the hunter's moon. She hadn't
dressed for the party, knowing that any attempt to disguise her true
nature (however light-hearted the reason) would cloud her ability to see.
Iola Beth spread a square of black silk on the table before her and
reverently pulled her cards from the pouch. Touching the deck lightly to
her forehead, her lips and her breast, she murmured a prayer to Hecate to
guide her inner eye.

As she began to shuffle the worn, familiar cards, the tiniest trace of a
frown crossed Iola Beth's face. Something felt off - not wrong, exactly,
but not right either. The cards felt different. Heavier, maybe, or
lighter, or slippery - the seer couldn't put her finger on the difference.
She had searched for years for the right deck, trying many different
designs and shapes as she sought her cards, the cards through which she
could truly speak, truly see. Finally, in a tiny town in the wild north,
she had found this deck - the drawings at first glance simply told the
tales of the shared history of New Greeceland. But to one gifted with
sight they also spoke of deeper truths hidden within the tales of Jason
and the Fleece, of Cupid and Psyche, of Orestes and of Daedalus.

Casting a simple three-card spread, Iola Beth's faint uneasiness dissolved
as her old friends appeared before her, telling her stories to comfort and
enlighten her. The Magician first, winking and smiling as he spoke of
tricks and treats in the past, his dark beard and eyes disguising his
merry heart and deceptive ways, reminding her of the pursuit of knowledge
that had brought her to this place. Next, the High Priestess showed
herself and Iola Beth nodded soberly in recognition - she was the High
Priestess, centered firmly in the present and helping to show others the
way to truth. Finally, she turned over the third card and smiled - The
World, the culmination card, representing the Tavern and the unity of all
within. A good reading, reminding her of whence she came, her present
path and its rightness. Her earlier fears allayed, Iola Beth began to
prepare the cards for more complex readings.

A soft cough caught Iola Beth's attention, and she looked up with a
welcoming smile. Iolaus2 stood before her, twisting the edge of his
rust-colored tunic in his hands. "Excuse me, Iola Beth - I hate to bother
you, but I thought - everyone else is getting ready to watch the magic
show, and - well, if you're not busy, um, I was wondering," he stammered
awkwardly, his cerulean eyes fixed on her face in a mixture of hope and
fear.

"Please, Iolaus, sit down. What do you wish to ask?" Iola Beth asked
kindly, sweeping her pale, graceful hands over the cards on the table and
beginning to shuffle them. Iolaus2 glanced back over his shoulder, then
returned his gaze to the serene woman.

"Um, Nautica and I - the baby - I was wondering, um - could you check to
make sure everything will be alright? I don't want to know if it's a boy
or girl, well, not really, well, if it comes up I guess you could tell me,
but really more if Nautica and the baby will be, you know, ok?" His love
for his wife and unborn child shone from his handsome face, softening the
worry lines on his brow and around his eyes. Iola Beth took his hand and
squeezed it, then placed it on top of the deck.

"You must ask the cards, Iolaus. Clear your mind, open your heart and ask
truly for what you seek and the cards will reveal it to you." Iolaus
closed his eyes, jutting his chin out in concentration as his thumb
nervously traced back and forth on the deck.
********************

Autolycus strode nervously up and down behind the makeshift stage.
"Insulting, it's just plain insulting," he muttered to himself as he
absently walked a coin from back and forth over his fingers. "A man of my
skills, with my amazing dexterity, and they want me to do magic tricks
like a two-bit jester. Unbelievable." The King of Thieves stroked his
mustache as he peered through the heavy green velvet curtain at the crowd.
Glimpses of bright costumes, a feather here, a bit of shiny material
there, all conspired to create a riotous sea of colors before him. OK, so
maybe he had a tiny bit of stage fright. Autolycus turned on his heel,
prepared to slip out through the back door, only to crash to the floor.
"What in Tartarus? A goat?" Autolycus looked into the benignly confused
face of the animal above him.

"I'm so sorry, Auto - we didn't know where you wanted us to put them.
Grace said to just bring the animals back here - that you'd tell us what
to do. Knock it off, Buttercup," GabrielleTyger apologized, pulling on
the goat's collar to try to stop it from licking a protesting Autolycus'
face. Khyn and Athena giggled as they struggled to hold wriggling white
rabbits in their arms. Autolycus pushed the goat away and managed to
regain his feet, pulling down his tunic and smoothing his hair.

"Ladies, as always I'm glad to see you, but what's with the livestock?"
Autolycus carefully pulled a lock of Khyn's blonde hair out of the
rabbit's mouth as he raised a sardonic eyebrow. The amazons looked at
each other, puzzled. GabrielleTyger squatted beside Buttercup, softly
rubbing the goat between the ears as she looked up at the others.

"For the act, remember? Pulling rabbits out of hats? Goat milk in a
paper pitcher? Does any of this sound familiar?" Athena reached into her
pocket and pulled out a cooing white dove. "Remember?"

Autolycus gingerly took the bird on his finger and held it before him at
eye level. He answered with a sigh. "Yeah, I remember. Put them over
there - I'll signal you when I need them." Squaring his shoulders,
Autolycus swept his bright blue cape up to his shoulder and, straightening
his elaborate gold turban with his free hand, he slipped through the
curtains and swaggered across the stage. "Prepare yourselves to be
mystified!" he shouted, and the crowd cheered as he pulled a startled
Yarbo on the stage. "Yarbo! Yarbo! Yarbo!" the barflies began to chant,
and soon the whole room had joined in.
********************

"Are you ready to hear the truth, Iolaus? Do you hold your question
clearly in your mind and heart?" Iola Beth's soothing voice broke into
Iolaus2's fierce concentration. Slowly opening his eyes, he carefully
handed the deck back to Iola Beth as he answered, "I-I think so." His
voice growing more confident, he added, "I'm ready for the truth, Iola
Beth - tell me of my child." Oblivious to the roar of the audience
behind her, Iola Beth again touched the cards to her forehead, lips and
chest, then asked Iolaus2 to cut them.
Carefully he obliged, dividing the dark blue rectangles into two nearly
equal stacks. Iola Beth shuffled the deck quickly, the cards flying
between her slender fingers, then turned the first card over, laying it
closest to her atop the black silk. His brilliant blue eyes darting
between the card and the seer's composed face, Iolaus2 struggled to remain
quiet. Iola Beth held her face still as she looked down at the King of
Pentacles, but despite herself her brow furrowed slightly. "That's odd,"
she thought, "a powerful, wealthy lord as foundation of a reading for a
birth? But that doesn't make sense." Looking up at the worried
father-to-be, Iola Beth said, "The King of Pentacles signifies great
wealth and power, my dear. He is blessed materially and has influence and
position. Your child will have the favor of such a man, Iolaus."

"That's great! That's-that's wonderful! Do another one!" Iolaus2
bounced in his chair in time to the chanting crowd. Although the
comforting words of prophecy that she spoke conveyed one possible meaning
of the card, Iola Beth felt disturbed. Something else lurked below the
surface, yet she had spoken only of the simplest level. It felt like
something had blocked all but the most trivial understanding. Perhaps
another card...
********************

"Thank you, thank you very much. And a big round of applause for Yarbo,
everyone - wasn't she a great sport?" Autolycus held the milk-soaked
woman's hand up over her head as the crowd stamped their feet and
applauded. Yarbo smiled hesitantly, still not sure exactly how she'd
ended up as a part of the entertainment. Kissing her on the cheek,
Autolycus squeezed her hand and whispered, "I owe you, sweetheart -
thanks." He led her to the edge of the stage where eager hands helped her
to the floor.

"Alrighty then, who wants some more magic?" the flamboyant thief cried as
he thrust a finger out toward the crowd. "WE DO!" the denizens shouted in
reply, and Autolycus strode back to the curtain with a swirl of his cape.
"Quick - the rabbits!" he hissed to the trio of amazons backstage.
********************

Over by the door, Sweeneybird fidgeted with her white robes and headpiece.
How did those Hestian Virgins stand these things? All binding in the
right places and loose in the wrong ones - give her a pair of leathers and
a tunic any day. As she yanked on the back of the robe one more time, the
door swung open and Sheriff Ryp sauntered in. Taking in the redheaded
de-pantser's outfit in a single glance, she drawled, "Come as you aren't,
Sweeneybird?"

"Hey, at least I bothered to wear a costume, bub," Sweeneybird retorted.
Sporting the dark, practical leathers that best suited her troublesome
line of work, Ryp looked exactly like what she was - a hard-working law
enforcer.

Defensively, the sheriff pointed at her boots. "What about these? These
are a costume." Sweeneybird peered at Ryp's feet, then starting laughing
as she spotted the faint outline of a cactus on the toe of each black
boot. The green stitching barely showed against the faded leather.

"My mistake," Sweeneybird laughed, "I can see that you went to a great
deal of trouble." Still laughing, she walked over to the bar, where she
and Grace entered into a friendly discussion of the relative merits of
chastity and sobriety.

Ryp looked around the room before strolling to the far end of the bar. A
somberly dressed gentleman sat on the last stool, delicately sipping a
glass of Pan's Port that an accommodating Grace had provided from her
private stock. He turned, and a broad grin creased his face as he greeted
the sheriff. "Salmoneous, didn't recognize you," Ryp commented
laconically as she sipped her Hercules Strong Ale.

"That's the idea!" Salmoneous answered, pleased that his simple black robe
had disguised him so well. Ryp looked over to the stage to see why the
crowd was yelling for Yarbo. A quick smile flashed across her face as she
saw Autolycus attempting to milk a goat into a paper cup, then she turned
back to Salmoneous. However, the portly salesman had vanished, his glass
of port still half full on the bar. Shrugging, Ryp returned her attention
to her pint glass - a little alone time was always welcome.
********************

Iola Beth passed her hands over the deck before her. Slowly, almost
tentatively, she turned the second card, placing it above the King of
Pentacles. Iolaus2 looked at the card, then up at the seer. "Cups is
good, right? Page of Cups is good?" He reached over and hesitantly
touched her arm. "Iola Beth? It's okay, right?" A crash in the kitchen
startled both of them, then Iola Beth shook herself slightly and
straightened. Why couldn't she see today? What blocked her? She had
never had so much trouble with a simple, straightforward reading.

"The Page of Cups is just that, a vessel-bearer. He is a youth or young
person who brings emotion, who carries love and affection to his elders.
Here in the second position the card symbolizes your child, the love that
he or she has already brought and will yet bring to you and Nautica. The
symbolism of water, of liquids, shows the strong ties to the ocean through
your wife." Iola Beth stopped, unable to form words to describe the
deeper meanings of the card and its relationship to the King of Pentacles.
She felt like someone, some force, had invaded her and prevented her from
speaking. Unwilling to worry Iolaus2, Iola Beth smiled tremulously and
slowed her breathing. "It looks very promising, dear - shall we try
another?"

Iolaus2 nodded, concerned at Iola Beth's apparent lack of composure. He
took her hand and asked, "Are you sure you're alright, Iola Beth? You
seem distracted. Are you sure this is okay?" The seer nodded wordlessly
then picked up the cards again.
********************


Wands (Part 2)

Allianna hummed as she mixed up her latest confectionery masterpiece.
After the chocolate Iolaus she knew that she had a tough act to follow,
but she thought that perhaps the bite-size grape flavored BST's might win
the approval of the tavern patrons. "Hey Jeanne, could you bring me that
big copper bowl for the meringue?" she called out, hoping that her partner
in the kitchen could hear her over the laughter in the main room of the
tavern.

"Coming right up, kid," Jeanne hollered back, "just as soon as I finish
these hors d'oeuvres." The chef rolled one last pig in one last blanket,
then grabbed the copper pot and started walking toward her friend.
Allianna jumped as she heard a loud crash then ran over to the far side of
the prep counter to see what had happened. A huge copper bowl rolled
slowly in circles on the kitchen floor, gradually coming to rest.
"Jeanne?" Allianna called out. "Jeanne, where are you?"
********************

Flustered, Autolycus jumped back from the edge of the stage and dropped
the second rabbit to the floor. It shot him a baleful look as it hopped
back toward the curtain, its pink eyes and nose twitching. The amazons in
the front row howled at the damp spot on the magician's cape. "Well, that
was interesting," Autolycus quipped. "And now, for the big finale, I'll
need a volunteer. A lovely assistant from the audience - who wants to be
a star? Anyone?" He looked around the eager amazons, hands waving in the
air, and leered. "Ah, how about that little blonde in the back. Yes, you
sweetheart, the one with the pretty blue eyes - come on up."

The crowd parted as the amazon made her way to the front, a wave of
laughter following as she reached the stage. Autolycus looked down,
aghast, as he realized that he'd chosen Iolaus as his lovely assistant.
"Oh great - you," he muttered as Iolaus pranced around the stage blowing
kisses and showing off his legs. At the back of the room, Hercules
covered his hand with his mouth as he laughed silently at his best
friend's shenanigans. The demi-god moved closer to the pole so that he
could see without blocking anyone else's view.

Iolaus looked up at the magician seductively, adjusting his skirt to the
delight of the amazons in the audience. "So, Mr. Magician, what can I do
to - assist you?" he asked in a falsetto, tracing circles on the
uncomfortable thief's arm.

Autolycus gritted his teeth into a semblance of a smile as he thought,
'Grace, I'm never going to forgive you for getting me into this.' Glaring
down at the simpering hunter, Autolycus replied loudly, "Why, I'm glad you
asked my dear. Follow me." Taking Iolaus by the arm, he gripped it
tightly as he escorted the hunter to a large enameled box at the center of
the stage.

Gold and red designs and symbols covered the black enamel, and two large
gold handles dominated the front of the container. Autolycus flung open
the doors, revealing a bright red interior. The magician bowed
sarcastically to Iolaus, asking, "Miss, may I borrow your staff?" The
crowd howled as Iolaus sweetly handed the oak staff to Autolycus, brushing
his fingers against the taller man's as he did.

Grabbing the piece of wood out of his 'assistant's' hands, Autolycus
proceeded to bang on the inside of the box, shouting as he did so, "Note,
ladies and gentlemen, the complete solidity of the box, the lack of any
trick doors or false bottoms. Miss, are you satisfied that there is no
way out of this box other than by the doors?"

Iolaus poked his head into the box, rapping on the sides, back and top
with his knuckles as he wiggled his backside in time. By this time, the
crowd was hysterical with laughter. Iolaus straightened, turned around
and pronounced, "Looks solid to me, big guy."

Autolycus rolled his eyes. "Okay, short stuff, I mean my dear, now it's
time to get your lovely self into the magic cabinet. Here, let me help
you." Before Iolaus had time to react, Autolycus swept him into his arms
and dumped him unceremoniously on the bottom of the box. Quickly the
magician pulled the doors closed, grabbing a length of heavy chain and
snapping it before the audience before he twisted it through the two
ornate door handles. "Comfy, my pet?" Autolycus asked, stroking his
mustache as he wiggled his eyebrows at the crowd. Muffled kicks and cries
came from the box, which shuddered but did not give under the force of
Iolaus' blows.

"And now, ladies and gentleman, it gives me great personal pleasure to
perform my next trick, the highlight of my show and indeed of my career.
Before your eyes, I will make my lovely assistant - DISAPPEAR!"
********************

'Stranger and stranger,' thought Iola Beth as she brushed a lock of hair
back from her forehead. 'I can see the predictions, but I can't say
anything but the most cursory parts of the story the cards tell.' Her
head aching with the effort, she closed her eyes and tried to speak of the
true destiny of Iolaus2's child once more. A dim vision of slender
fingers slipping over her mouth, preventing her speech, flitted through
her mind too quickly to catch along with a faint echo of triumphant
laughter.

Again Iola Beth shook her head and looked at Iolaus2 with every ounce of
reassurance that she could muster. "Your child has many good omens
already - let us look at the next card and see how the birth will go.
This time, Iolaus, you turn the card and place it above the others."
'Perhaps that will unlock my tongue,' the seer thought hopefully as the
man turned over the Ace of Wands.
********************

Ryp glanced around the tavern again, looking for Lhyric. Maybe she could
convince the bouncer to join her in a friendly game of pool. Hokey magic
shows just irritated the sheriff - she preferred her entertainment a
little more straightforward and competitive. Besides, anything to do with
Autolycus just had trouble written all over it, and Ryp wanted to steer
well clear so she could help clean up the mess.

Unable to find her friend, Ryp walked over to the unoccupied table for a
few practice shots. She spied her favorite cue leaning against the far
wall where Grace had hung the dartboard. Ducking the wild shots from
Laurie and Gary's 'trick throw' competition, Ryp made her way toward her
cue. When she got to the wall, however, the cue had gone missing.
Perplexed, the sheriff looked around. She was sure it had been here.
Narrowing her eyes, Ryp muttered, "What's going on around here?"
********************

Iolaus2 looked up with concern at the seer's pale countenance. Although
he naturally inclined toward a pessimistic view, he didn't think the cards
had caused Iola Beth to grimace in pain and rub her temples. Something
was wrong with the seer, and he had to help her. "Iola Beth, let's stop.
You're obviously not feeling well - how about you go lie down and I'll
bring you something to drink? We can do this some other time."

A huge feeling of relief swept through Iola Beth - yes, stopping for a bit
made sense. She just needed a break, that's all. She opened her mouth to
thank Iolaus2 for his consideration when, to her horror, a voice her own
and yet not her own said, "Nonsense, Iolaus. I'm fine - let's just finish
your reading, shall we?" Unable to stop herself, Iola Beth reached for
the next card and turned it over, placing it to the left of the Page of
Cups. A feeling of foreboding swept through her - this reading was not
about the child any more. How she knew this she could not say, for The
Fool made perfect sense at this point in the child's reading, but the
sense of some dark purpose unrelated to Iolaus2 and his family would not
leave her.

"Iolaus, the Fool tells us that your child will be happy and carefree as
he or she grows up. " Iola Beth tried to continue, but unseen fingers
again choked the words back in her throat as she stared at Iolaus2 with
terrified eyes. Iolaus2 matched her frightened gaze, grasping both of her
hands in his as he tried to stop her from turning another card. "No,
Iola Beth! Stop it, please - this isn't right!" Iolaus2 implored the
seer to stop, as she grew visibly paler and more agitated at his words and
touch.

The sudden gasp of the audience behind them distracted his attention for a
moment, and Iola Beth snatched her fingers free and deliberately turned
the fifth card. Gasping for breath, she whispered, "Sun - reversed -
child of light," and then murmured incoherently.
********************

"And now, after I say the magic words: 'What a delight-y is Aphrodite's
nitey'" Autolycus said, eliciting groans and catcalls from the eager
audience, "Thank you very much, and now, to open the magic cabinet and
reveal - What the?" Autolycus flung open the doors with a grand gesture
and swirl of his cape, expecting to display the empty cabinet. Instead,
to his dismay, he saw Sweeneybird crouched in the box. Clad in simple
black pants and a black jacket over a black and white horizontally striped
shirt, the de-pantser looked even paler than usual as she peered out of
the container.

"Oh for the love of Petrus," he hissed, "Sweeneybird, what are you doing?"
The redhead looked at him, puzzled, and scratched her head. Placing her
hands palm-outward in front of her, she moved them deliberately in a
straight horizontal line before her. Autolycus looked at her in confusion
and annoyance. "Hey, what's with the mime routine - I thought you were
going to be a Hestian virgin?" Sweeneybird moved to stand up and smacked
her head hard against the top of the cabinet, knocking herself out. The
crowd, thinking it part of the act, roared with laughter as she slid
bonelessly out of the box and onto the floor. Autolycus picked her up and
pushed her back into the cabinet, closing the door and turning back to the
crowd. "Heh, heh, OK now, boys and girls, time to bring back my lovely
assistant - after all, nobody deserves mime!"

Turning back to the cabinet, he smacked the top of it with the flat of his
hand twice, saying, "Come to papa, baby." Again he threw open the cabinet
doors as he announced, "And here, back from her voyage to another
dimension, is my lovely assistant...SWEENEYBIRD?" Once again the mime
slid to the floor, banging her head again for good measure.

Autolycus stepped over her prone body and pressed the two release catches
in the cabinet floor. "Oh, this is not good, this is NOT good," the thief
muttered as he pulled up the false bottom of the cabinet. "Iolaus, where
in Tartarus did you go, you son of a bacchae?"

The audience roared with laughter at the discomfiture of the King of
Thieves, figuring that the chaos on the stage would resolve itself with
some theatrical stunt. Hercules wasn't so sure - something about the
tension in Autolycus' back made him very nervous. Sensing that something
had gone very wrong, Hercules began to move through the crowd toward the
stage.
********************

"I'm going to get Hercules," Iolaus2 said with a touch of panic in his
voice. He backed away from the booth, turned and began to push his way
through the crowd calling Hercules' name. Iola Beth couldn't hear him
anymore over the roaring in her ears. Eyes fixed on the deck, she fought
the unseen hands that forced her to reach for another card. The dark blue
rectangle hovered between her fingers and the table, finally slipping free
to land on top of the Page of Cups.
********************

Hercules pushed through the swarming amazons as politely as possible,
jumping and twisting as the occasional impertinent denizen checked to see
what he had on under his Xena costume. As he reached the front of the
stage, he demanded, "Autolycus, what's going on? Why aren't you helping
Sweeneybird? And where's Iolaus?"

Autolycus turned to the demi-god and answered hesitantly, "Hercules, I
just don't know." Hercules' handsome face darkened with anger and fear.
Just as he opened his mouth to berate the worried thief, however, a look
of surprise appeared on his face. And then, Hercules just wasn't there.

Autolycus blinked, and the crowd grew silent in amazement. A few
scattered claps sounded, then the applause grew until Autolycus put his
hands over his ears. Looking over at the huddled form of Sweeneybird, he
noticed that she hadn't moved since falling from the cabinet. Gathering
her limp body in his arms, he climbed down from the stage and started
heading for the door. "She needs some air, people, let us through," he
repeated, thinking that he could use a breather himself. Once the crowd
figured out that their two favorite heroes had disappeared, he'd need all
of his breath to talk himself out of it.
********************

"Strength - healthy baby - favored - not sickly." Iola Beth couldn't stop
herself from croaking out the banal words, still forced to spin the
illusion that this reading concerned Iolaus2 and Nautica's child. "One
more - clarification card," she gasped, taking the deck in her hand one
final time. She fought with the last of her strength, forcing herself to
drop the deck to the floor rather than turn the last card, the card that
she somehow knew would seal her fate and that of the Tavern. 'Hecate,
help me,' she wept silently as the final card, the true culmination of the
reading, fell from her hand, landing face up on the floor.
********************

Autolycus strode across the tavern yard to the towering oak tree,
depositing Sweeneybird unceremoniously on the soft grass and leaning
against the tree to catch his breath. Iolaus2 ran up to him, grabbing the
thief's blue cloak and demanding, "You've got to do something - something
very bad is going on in there."

Raising a sardonic eyebrow, Autolycus looked at him and responded, "Ya
think so?" A few of the barflies and other audience members began to file
out through the doorway as they slowly realized that the show had ended,
albeit on a very strange note. Autolycus looked nervously over at the
amazons, wondering how long it would take before they started accusing him
of - of what? He didn't even know what happened!

"Look, Curly, you handle it - I have a previous engagement," Autolycus
said, his eyes fixed on the approaching women as he prepared to flee.
Then both men's mouths dropped open in astonishment and fear.
********************

The final card had fallen - The World. For a moment nothing happened, and
Iola Beth dared to hope that it had ended, that the malevolent force had
released her. Then she screamed soundlessly as she saw the true meaning
of the card.
********************

"It's gone." Iolaus2 turned back to Autolycus and repeated, with a note
of hysteria in his voice, "IT'S GONE, AUTOLYCUS!"

Autolycus looked at the clearing where Fallen Grace's had stood seconds
before, and ran his hands through his thick dark hair. "This is not
good," he sighed.
********************

The end of Wands - on to the next suit...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hunter's moon arose
And filled revelers' cups
With the taste of wine and freedom
Light revealing everything

Shadowed presence arose
And filled revelers' cups
With the taste of ruin and fear
Light revealing...nothing



II. Cups Runneth Over



Someone was keening, like a hurt animal. But Iolaus2 couldn't hear a thing
through the roaring in his ears. Autolycus was stock-still at his side, for
once, completely silent. All eyes were transfixed at the scene before them.
Or rather, the complete lack thereof. The full, golden moon washed its
light over the tableau; a spotlight for the tragedy.

To Iolaus2 it was more terrifying than the time he and Hercules had watched
a group of villagers fading away before their eyes. At least then they had
seen something happening. But this...this had been far more shocking: no
gradualness to it at all, just an instantaneous, frightening nothingness.

All that remained was the sidewalk that ran along the front of the Tavern,
and a lone booth that held a slumped-over Iola Beth, clutching the remainder
of the deck of cards in one hand. The cards from the reading were untouched
on the black square of silk. The World card lay face up on the ground
beside her, also untouched.

And then there was the garish black, red, and gold magic cabinet - now lying
on the ground, tipped over, the cover and the false bottom both open. Lying
on the ground, of course, because the stage was gone. But everything else
had disappeared. The floor that had survived Ares' wrath - gone. Nothing
but a level brown plot of land, missing one building.

"Ohhhh, ohhh no, oh no ohnohnohnoooo..." LurkerJean moaned. Her showgirl
feather headdress was askew on her head, marabou tufts quivering around her
ears.

Autolycus shook himself, and walked the few short steps to LurkerJean, who
was shaking uncontrollably, her arms wrapped around herself. "Jean! Jean,
you have to get a grip - you're going to frighten the youngsters," the thief
said, almost kindly, as he put an arm around the woman's shoulders. He
gestured to the little huddle; Sulee, JediK, and Deinerra were watching her
with wide, panicky eyes.

But the thief's gentle admonition came a little too late. The paste jewels
on JediK's crown twinkled in the moonlight, reflecting the shimmer of
threatening tears in the eyes of her friends. Deinerra's Egyptian princess
kohl eyeliner had run down her face with the silent tears, and she looked
like she wanted to be sick. Sulee had taken off her executioner's hood and
was breathing in sharp, shallow gasps, trying keep from crying as well. Her
toy wooden axe lay on the ground, forgotten, as she reached to take her
friends' hands, and squeeze tightly. The girls kept shifting their gaze
from the emptiness in front of them to the normally calm and mild-mannered
LurkerJean.

The slumped form of the SweeneyMime remained motionless. A gust of wind
ripped through the gingko's branches, rustling the fan-shaped leaves,
telling secrets.

Iolaus2 jerked where he stood; a swimmer breaking the icy water's surface.
He shivered violently and turned to the dark thief, horror and anger
struggling for mastery of his mobile face.

"Autolycus, this is either one bloody amazing illusion or you're the King of
Sick Jokes, too. How did you *do* this?" Even as he asked, Iolaus2 felt
foolish, like he was grasping at straws. And certainly giving the thief far
more credit than he deserved.

Unable to stop himself, Autolycus drew himself upright, stroking his
mustache. "Well, now, I'm no Copperfieldus...my talents tend to lie in
making far more valuable things disappear...but...oh gods, what am I
*saying*!? Iolaus, as hard as it may be to believe, I may be the King of
Thieves - but I had NOTHING to do with this!"

Iolaus2 dropped his head in his hands. "No, no, of course you didn't," the
short blond man said in a muffled, dead voice. His head was pounding
ferociously. The terror in the seeress' eyes...as she continued on with her
reading as though against her will. In an instant, he was back in his old
world, in front of the Sovereign, forced to entertain, to smile a huge
bright smile, which Iolaus2 could always tell from the fawning frightened
courtiers around him, never reached his blue eyes. Because he was
controlled...

His old terror born anew seeing the same emotion in Iola Beth's eyes - it
was all the man could do to keep from beginning to weep as well. Something
was so terribly wrong, his mind gibbered. Being controlled...being forced
to perform...scenes of his own memories, the courtiers' faces, Iola's face,
the cards, all spun in front of him.

An idea tugged at the corner of his mind, but he couldn't think about that
just yet. No, he couldn't. He closed his eyes and thought about Nautica
and their child, to calm himself. Only, the scene began to play again, the
dark, tortured eyes of the seeress belying that maddeningly calm voice
seemed to come from *behind* her, telling of the birth of his child. He had
never wanted to be back in the ocean so badly as right now.

But he had to stay here and puzzle this mystery out. He had to figure out
how to help his friends. Once again, to face up to his fears, and not run
away.

A stifled moan from the woman slumped at the table brought the group of
people to immediate attention. Iolaus2 turned to start toward Iola Beth
when Autolycus grabbed him by the sleeve of his tunic. "Uh, Iolaus, maybe
that isn't such a good idea. We don't know what we're dealing with here."
Autolycus paled as the smaller man spun around, reddening with anger, and
thrust his face within inches of the thief's nose.

'Hmphf,' thought the thief, 'he's more like the other one than he realizes.'

"She might be hurt...and it's probably *my* fault. So go ahead and make
yourself disappear if you don't want to help me, O Great Magician." Iolaus2
yanked his arm away and started stalking across the grass towards the flat
brown stretch of ground surrounding Iola Beth. As he got closer, his steps
faltered. He *was* afraid, but he owed it to the woman to at least comfort
her, and see if they could begin to determine what part she played in the
events that had transpired thus far this evening. When nothing felt out of
the ordinary, he drew in a deep breath, and walked the last paces to the
booth. The breath felt much like the ones he used to draw before beginning a
performance for the Sovereign.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Pain.

Singular, teeth-grinding, death-would-be-preferable pain. The Tavern owner
rolled onto her back from her side and looked up through the gloom to the
dark beams criss-crossing the ceiling. Her ceiling, wasn't it? Gods, her
head.

'That tears it,' thought Grace miserably, 'I am *never* swearing off
drinking for the night again...what's the point if I ended up feeling this
way anyway?'

Overriding the pain in her head was the adrenaline telling her to get up,
that she was in some kind of trouble. She sat up abruptly and the pain in
her head won out for a moment.

Vague memories started to stir. Denizens crying out that Iolaus was gone.
Denizens pushing across the room, towards the stage and towards the exit.
Autolycus hurrying past her, carrying someone that looked exactly like
Sweeneybird, only she was dressed as a mime instead of a Hestian virgin.
Sheesh, she didn't think she had picked on Sweens enough to make her change
costumes, had she? Nothing made any sense.

The feeling that she didn't belong here tugged at her again, more strongly
now. The darkened room she was in looked a lot like the Back Room, where
the dartboard would be hanging and Laurie and Gary would have been eyebrow
deep in friendly competition. Heck, she'd be busy getting stepped on by
the crowd jostling through, trying to reach the booths, to find the
bathroom. Something felt really wrong. It was a bad cliché, but it was
quiet, too quiet. Especially for *her* tavern.

"Gracie, I don't think we're in Thebes anymore," she said to herself. Which
made her laugh, a little. Then moaned and touched the side of her pounding
head.

Heavy footsteps thumped across the floor and Grace raised her eyes, and saw
with no small measure of relief that it was her partner. Lhyric's posture
was one of taut hostility, however, and Grace's small smile faded as the
bouncer got closer. She could see that the stern but gentle expression
Lhyric usually wore was replaced with an ugly scowl and agate cold eyes -
glittering with a meanness that frightened the tavernkeeper. "Lhyric...what
is it? What's wrong in the Tavern? Do you need me to do anything?"

The other woman leaned down and bared her teeth in the imitation of a smile.
To Grace it was like seeing a pit bull wrinkle its upper lip back prior to
clamping down and not letting go. "Yeah, I need you to stay put. Like I
left you." Before Grace could register just what was about to happen, the
bouncer cocked her arm back and then let the punch fly, connecting with
Grace's jaw and sending her back down to the floor with a resounding thud.
Before she blacked out, Grace suddenly remembered...

The pain and the world went away again.

The cruel half-smile on Lhyric's face turned into a satisfied sneer as she
picked up the tavernkeeper by one limp arm of and slung her unconscious
weight across her shoulders. She headed for the front room, and her ugly
grin broadened with every step.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The cruel half-smile on Lhyric's face turned into a satisfied sneer as she
picked up the tavernkeeper by one limp arm of and slung her unconscious
weight across her shoulders. She headed for the front room, and her ugly
grin broadened with every step.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Norcia, Klio and Steph had taken over comforting LurkerJean and the younger
women. The brisk wind continued to blow, and gust, flapping costume hems
and dragging tattered grey clouds across the sky to obscure the golden face
of the moon. Like their hunter, Klio thought sadly, hidden from them. She
took off her cowboy hat, covered her heart, and sighed.

"Where do you think the Tavern went?" Sulee asked the question, but she
sounded like she didn't really want the answer.

"I don't know...did it explode?" This came from JediK.

"Come on, it didn't blow up, we would have heard something, we would have
*smelled* something, heck, we would have been airborne!" said Norcia in
cheerful, no-nonsense voice that was a vain attempt to shift attention away
from just what had happened. Because she didn't know what was happening,
either, and she hated the feeling. She pushed her bandit mask up on top of
her head and scratched her chin.

"But a building can't just be...gone," Steph said, pulling her gladiator
helmet off her head to rake a hand through her sweaty hair. What she
wouldn't give, she thought, looking longingly where the taps had once been.
A drink or six was in order right about now.

Autolycus stood under the giant gingko tree and looked down at the prone
figure of whom everyone *thought* was Sweeneybird. But he'd known the
moment he'd picked the unconscious woman up that it wasn't...at least not
the Sweeneybird *he* and everyone else knew. And now he couldn't bring
himself to rouse her, or even touch her again to pick her up to carry her
anywhere further. There was a miasma of wrongness about her. An oddness
that had nothing to do with being a mime, he thought, faintly amused at
himself for a moment. Ah well. He could do one thing. "Sorry, stranger.
Don't want to upset Iola Beth anymore than she already has been, by the
looks of things. Better leave you here, at least for now." He covered her
with the cape from his magician get-up.

He looked across the stretch of grass to see Iolaus2, arrested at the edge
of where the flat brown patch of ground started, eyeing the booth as though
it were an island in shark-infested waters. Autolycus felt his own
shoulders slump as the smaller man inhaled deeply and squared his. The
thief felt his face get burning hot with embarrassment. By the gods,
Autolycus thought, that's enough, old boy. Get your lousy hide over there
and quit being such a...a...a WIMP! Oooh, don't say that out loud! Get
moving!

Ending an internal struggle with a little self-brow-beating sure beat the
heck out of being shown up by that former clown, thought Autolycus, as he
started across the emptiness.

Iolaus2 was helping the seeress sit up. Iola Beth was clutching at her
chest, and Iolaus2 was afraid something more physically damaging had
happened to her. He reached for the neck of her gown to open it, so she
could breathe more freely. But as he opened the clasp at the top of the
burgundy silk, he saw that she was clutching something underneath the gown.
As he helped her sit upright and blotted her damp forehead with the
handkerchief he took from his tunic sleeve, she released what she had been
grasping, and touched his shoulder.

Under her linen undergown, Iolaus2 could make out the outline of Iola Beth's
amulet. A dark jade amulet, shaped almost like a stylized tear. He had
seen her wear it outside her gown, to help her help people needing focus in
other work she had done, but for the most part, it stayed next to her heart
to allow her to focus her own energy and strength. Strength that she needed
to regain, very badly.

Iolaus2 looked up at the thief, who was still holding on to his gaudy
turban, twisting it in both hands now, as though he really could wring some
magic out of it, wishing he had more answers than the knowledge of good
sleight of hand was going to get them.

The smaller man, seeing the atypical fear on Autolycus' face, actually felt
sorry for him for a moment. And sorry that he had yelled at him. A little.
"Autolycus, would you go to the well and get Iola Beth some water, please?"
Autolycus flinched, and then nodded. He started across the non-existent
floor to the slope of the hill where the well was, mercifully, still
standing, near the date tree that Stefka had planted. Like its own crazy
little oasis in the desert the place had become, the thief thought wryly.

The women also cautiously approached the table where Iolaus2 and Iola Beth
sat, emboldened by the fact that no one seemed to be in imminent danger of
blowing up or melting into thin air. Klio and Norcia had sent the younger
women to the stable, to be with the horses and to get warm. They joined
Steph and LurkerJean in the booth with the others. Steph looked around, a
little wild-eyed. Here they were, in a Tavern booth, as though nothing had
happened. Next, Sierra will be over to take our order, right? A sound
escaped the barfly, somewhere between a giggle and a sob.

"Iola Beth...I hate to even ask you to try, but, please, can you say
anything now?" Iolaus2 looked pleadingly at the seeress, who struggled to
draw in a breath. Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times, and then
she coughed and whooped in air, as though released from a chokehold.

"Yes, Iolaus." The harsh, dry croak of Iola's voice made them all wince,
but at least she could talk. Whatever it was that had been stopping her
appeared to be gone, at least for now.

"Iola Beth, what happened? Don't be afraid, we're here. Nothing else is
going to happen." Iolaus2 took the woman's free hand. She put the deck
down on the scarred surface of the table, and fanned the fingers out of that
hand on the table between the deck and the abbreviated Celtic cross spread
she had been attempting to do for Iolaus2. She looked between the deck and
the reading, and then at the people around her, who were studying her face
anxiously.

She spoke, hesitantly at first, her voice regaining its soft but strong
timbre as she put her thoughts into words. "The cards, the cards do not
play false, they do not lie - they CANNOT lie. And in a reading where I am
in full, normal mastery of the situation, I know what is going to fall even
as I am casting the cards - they are an extension of me and my gift."

Iola drew a deep breath. "I could feel a malevolent presence, but it was
worse than that - it was though it was ME, taking what I knew and twisting
it for some purpose that was beyond here, beyond this world. The Tavern is
a Presence, in its own way, a place of genuine power, as strange as that may
sound. And its power is very much a force for good. Which has the
potential to make it a very irresistible draw for those who wish to
undermine that good, or take the power and make it their own."

"And I could see that when you were reading, it wasn't really *you*,"
Iolaus2 said thoughtfully, frowning deeply. "Not when I could see your
eyes...it reminded me, of, of *me*, Iola Beth, when I was trapped in my
horrible world, being forced to perform, thinking at any moment that I might
be beaten again...or worse - " Iolaus2 broke off. Klio and Norcia each
patted a shoulder, murmuring to him.

Iolaus2 clenched his jaw. He had to get through this. "Norcia, what
happened, when people started shouting? I know the magic act was going on,
but people stopped sounding like they were having fun."

The dark-haired woman, usually so bubbly and animated, twisted her hands in
her lap, and spoke in a low, unhappy tone. "Well, Autolycus picked Iolaus
to be his, um, assistant for the magic cabinet, you know, where you make it
look like the person disappears? Iolaus was clowning around, making
everyone laugh, and then Auto dumped him in the box and did the whole
"spell" thing. And, and then when he opened up the box, Iolaus really *was*
gone, and Sweeneybird was in the box...wait, where is she?"

"She's still lying down by the gingko. She's probably better off in the
soft grass than lying on the hard ground. I'll check on her in a moment.
Go on." Iolaus2 smiled a tight little grin, and nodded sharply, encouraging
Norcia to continue.

"Anyway, Autolycus closed the box back up again, to 'bring Iolaus
back'...only when he opened the box, it was still Sweeneybird. And Auto
looked upset and confused, not like a part of the act. And then I saw
Hercules moving toward the stage, and he didn't look too happy, either.
And, oh gods, when Hercules got up on the stage, all of a sudden, he
*wasn't* there!" Norcia gripped the edge of the table. "People were
clapping and cheering, but a bunch of us were really upset - what kind of a
creepy magic show is that? Making people disappear and not bringing them
back?" She bit her lip and shook her head. She didn't want to talk about
it anymore.

Klio nodded, then continued the thought. "We decided to get outside. It
felt wrong in there, all hot and stuffy and strange. And then when we were
outside, we saw you coming out, and Autolycus was carrying Sweeneybird. And
then...Fallen Grace's was just gone. Gone like Iolaus and Hercules. Iola
Beth, what's happening?"

Iola Beth was looking down at the cards again. She spoke out loud, but her
voice was just barely audible. "The Fool...with his eternal love of life he
is the adventurer in all of us - the cosmic Life Breath. The
Sun...good-natured fun and happiness - reversed. *Reversed*. What does it
mean here? Strength...both spiritual and physical. Triumph of love over
hate."

The invisible hands, stifling *her* words, so that another's could be
spoken. Reaching through, Seeing with her Eye, when the Door was open, and
with twisted purpose, had drawn on her power and used it. Used her. Taken
her world, and everything in it. But left her behind, drained as though it
had been her using her own power. When doing the great Work, she had
occasionally felt this way, usually after a particularly intense reading,
sometimes after a deep trance.

The seeress spoke. "I think I know what has happened. But I don't know if
I can undo what another has done."

Iolaus2 looked again at the cards, and up into the dark, haunted eyes of
Iola Beth. The fear was welling up in him again, at the implication of her
words. She touched the Fool card, and looked back at him, searchingly.
Understanding dawned in his bright blue eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Autolycus managed to get the crank to work, and had pulled up a bucket
of...'phew', he thought, 'still looks and smells like fresh water - what a
relief'. Then he heard a groan come from behind the date tree. He was
still too jumpy, and for a man who didn't rattle easily, this was turning
out to be a bad night for his reputation. He let go of the crank and the
bucket went plummeting back to the bottom and the thief got a faceful of
backsplash as he froze, waiting.

Reaching down to his ankle for a holdout, he called on the last shreds of
stealth left in his possession and crept around the tree. Sprawled out full
length on the ground was Summer, her costume dirty and askew. "Summer?"
The thief's voice was pitched a little high, and included a grace note of
relief. "Summer, are you all right?"

"Oh, aaah, no, I *don't* think so. Who's there? Please, please, I'm sick,
help me..." The slim brunette curled on her side, fearing the worst. When
she had started to feel ill, just when the magic show had started, she had
thought a breath of fresh air and a drink of well water would help her feel
better.

To Summer's shock, after taking her drink and making to head back up the
stairs and go through the kitchen, the Tavern just...wasn't...there. The
woman had staggered backwards, the nausea washing over her again, and
proceeded to knock her head on the tree trunk, landing in her current
position on the ground.

"It's Autolycus, Summer, just lie still. You're going to be fi..." he
trailed off as he realized how banal that sounded. Were any of them ever
going to be fine again? Well, they'd have to try. The least he could do
was stop jumping at shadows and remind himself that he was could be
level-headed and in full control of the situation at hand, in addition to
his many other fine attributes.

He squared his shoulders, and cleared his throat. "Summer my dear, you are
going to be just fine. Here, just a moment." The thief quickly re-cranked
the bucket and brought the woman a dipper of water, propping her up so she
could drink.

"Drink that, slowly now. No sense sending it right back up. There you are.
Just sit still for a moment." He helped her lean up against the tree, then
made his way back to the well. He refilled the bucket, and untied it from
the rope. They could all use something to drink. Autolycus thought
longingly for a moment about the wine cellar. But the ground had been as
flat and solid as though even the foundation no longer existed. He smiled
wryly to himself. No foundation. How ironic was *that*?

Autolycus wrapped his arm around Summer's shoulders, and took the full
bucket in his other hand. "Here, my dear, steady yourself against me so we
can get up the hill. That's it." She smiled weakly at him as they made
their slow way up the rise to the table and the other people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The darkness and claustrophobic closeness of the cabinet walls were bad
enough. But there was something else that made him feel worse. All of
Iolaus' instincts were tingling, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling
unbearably. He shifted uncomfortably in the cupboard. First of all, why
was he upright now? Where was the crowd noise? Why wasn't Auto the wise
guy letting him out?

"He's going to think being chained up with me for a day was a picnic
compared to what's gonna happen when I get out of this stupid 'magic'
cabinet," Iolaus grumbled to himself. He finally heard voices, which made
him quiet down and strain to hear what was happening. The seam where the
cupboard doors didn't quite meet left enough of a crack for the hunter to
put one azure eye to and peer out, ostensibly where the audience *should*
have been watching him embarrass that big windbag Autolycus.

Oddly enough, he saw Iola Beth sweeping across his vision. The seeress had
on a black robe and a pendant on a heavy chain of some kind around her neck.
The sigil made of a dark red stone gave Iolaus a chill down his spine to
keep his prickling neck company.

'That's odd," thought Iolaus. 'I saw her in the back booth when we made our
big entrance, and that wasn't what she was wearing. What in Tartarus?'

"Hey, what's going on out there?" Iolaus finally gave up and hollered
through the doors. "C'mon, let me out, joke's over, right? I got splinters
in my knees from your stupid cabinet, Autolycus. Auto? Herc? Grace?
Anyone?!"

All he heard was muffled laughter. Cold, harsh, cawing laughter.

Iolaus strained to look again. As the woman's black robe swept out of his
line of vision, the eye widened. The hairs on the back of Iolaus' neck were
starting to feel like dragon tentacles. Hercules was unconscious on the
floor. Ryp and Lhyric were tied up, back to back, in a series of
complicated knots that even the intrepid sheriff hadn't been able to pick
apart.

Then the woman turned on her heel and came back to the cabinet. She came in
so closely, and the malevolence in her deep brown eyes was so shocking, that
Iolaus jerked back, banging his head on the back of the cabinet. "Ow!
What's going on, dammit? Iola Beth, let me out!"

"Oh, not to worry, my little friend. I'll bring you out when it's time..."
The woman laughed the harsh laugh again.

"Wait! You're *not* Iola Beth, are you?" Iolaus now knew why all his nerve
endings were screaming, along with that sinking feeling.

"Ah, Iolaus, you always have something to say, always so clever - aren't
you? I'm surprised, though, that you think I'm not Iola Beth...who else
would I be? Now be quiet until it's time for you to be let out, or I'll
make sure it's even more unpleasant outside than it is in there."

Iolaus leaned back against the back of the cabinet and blew out a deep sigh.
'Why is it,' the hunter mused, 'that the bad guys always think everyone else
is so much dumber than they are? It invariably turns out to be a fatal
character flaw.'

He smiled a small grim smile to himself, and spoke out loud. "As if just
being a bad guy wasn't enough of a character flaw?"

Mocking laughter mixed with a groan from the unconscious demigod. Iolaus
shuddered. Yep, sometimes he definitely hated having such good instincts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iolaus2, Norcia and Klio were sitting in the booth across from Iola Beth,
who was flanked by LurkerJean and Steph. Iolaus2 was facing where the rear
of the building would have been (would have been, could have been, gods,
please STOP thinking like that, thought Iolaus2 desperately to himself) when
the thief and Summer came up over the edge of the hill.

The women and the Seeress gaped when they saw the change come over the small
blond man's face, then craned to see what he was looking at. It was the
face of a man looking down the maw of an abyss. Iolaus2 saw Autolycus' dark
head and green tunic, but what had registered first was the bright golden
jingle bells...hanging from the horns of Summer's jester hat. He looked at
the seeress. He looked at Autolycus. He looked across the space to the
magic cabinet. He looked at the jester hat again. Everything that had
started with the nagging idea in the back of his head came together and
resounded like the death-knell gong in the palace. He knew what he had to
do.

"Iola Beth, I think you're right about what has happened to the tavern. But
I think we can undo what has been done. We have to try...Iola Beth...you
need to read the cards for me again. All of you...you have to help me...I
have to go find them. And bring them home."


On to Swords...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



In this most fateful hour the loyal unite
To temper their blades and prepare for the fight.
With Nothing to lose and The World to regain,
Salvation resides within those that remain.

While the Lost Ones are forged by an onslaught of Fire
The Water shall give them the strength they require.
Will they take up in arms 'gainst the blaze that would burn,
Or parry its lunge with a ruse in return?

Either way, every sword must take part in the game
Lest the Tavern and denizens perish in flame.




Part III. Swords.

"No. Absolutely not." Iola Beth's countenance was stern and
unmoving as she glared into the determined eyes of the man in front of
her. The soothsayer was gradually regaining her strength and now, for the
first time since the disappearance of Fallen Grace's, she finally felt she
had the energy to exercise her authority. There had been enough tragedy
today and she was not about to advocate any activity that only promised to
cause more.

"What do you mean, 'no?'" Iolaus2 glared back at her, his eyes
sparkling defiantly. Like Iola Beth he was reeling from the shock of his
world having been stripped from him without warning. He felt confused,
frustrated, helpless, afraid, you name it. But of everyone there present,
he was the only one that knew, really and truly, what it was like for a
world to be lost and he had vowed to himself that he would never allow it
to happen a second time. "You've got to send me after them! I *have* to
go. I have to help them!"

Norcia bit her lip and glanced searchingly over at Iola Beth as
she narrowed her eyes, never breaking her gaze on the blond man across the
booth. The tension was thicker than Alliana's oatmeal and showed no
promise of abating. She didn't like this. She didn't like this one bit.
Unable to penetrate the unspoken war between the seer and the former
jester, Norcia hazarded a worried glance across the table at Steph, who
just widened her eyes uncertainly and reached out instinctively for her
non-existant drink, cursing silently as her expectant hand closed around
nothingness. The bar fly shook her head sadly. Nothingness was the theme
of the day.

Lurker Jean and Klio also looked on with concern, feverishly
searching for the right thing to say but almost fearful of disrupting the
trance that seemed to have developed between Iolaus and Iola Beth. The
battle of wills was not going to let up anytime soon.

The soothsayer was quick to respond to Iolaus' demand. She spoke quietly
and calmly but there was a firmness in her voice that established quite
clearly that she would not be contravened. "Well *I* don't *have* to do
anything. I said 'no' and I meant it, Iolaus. We don't even know what's
happened to them... where they've gone... if they're even alive. I refuse
to risk any more lives by sending others blindly into the abyss."

Iolaus2 sighed and leaned forward, his expression almost pleading,
the unconcealed pain in his eyes tearing the seer's heart in two.
"They're alive, all right..." he whispered, a distinct tremor in his
voice, "at least Iolaus is. If *he* were dead I would have felt
something. When Iolaus returned from the light, a few months back I
actually sensed it. Suddenly, without warning, I felt a completeness I
had never thought possible. At the time I didn't know what it was, but
later I learned he had returned and I understood exactly what had
happened. Different as we are, Iolaus and I are inextricably linked and,
believe me, I will know it immediately if he perishes."

Iola Beth drew in a short breath and closed her eyes wearily.
Sorting through what had actually happened was apparently going to be an
uphill battle on every front. 'Different. Ha,' she thought. 'This one
is as stubborn as his counterpart.'

Next to the booth Autolycus chuckled softly, as if sensing Iola's
thoughts. Ironically enough, this faint expression of mirth did more to
disquiet the paltry band than relax them, for he did not smile as he
laughed and his perpetually unflappable features were darkened by a
profound air of sadness. To the denizens, this reaction from the thief
was a more jarring testimony of the gravity of the situation than any of
the countless tears they had shed. Klio's face fell as she regarded the
thief and she allowed her focus to blur, preferring to stare at the vacant
space behind him than confront the tragic reality belied so conspicuously
by his countenance. Lurker Jean had a similar reaction and she dropped
her gaze to the tabletop, scratching at an imagined speck upon the rough
surface of the wood.

Otherwise powerless to comfort her friends, Iola Beth silenced
Autolycus with a sharp glare. "Look, Iolaus," she said, returning her
attention to the man commanding her to send him to his doom, "we need to
find out more about what has happened. Let me at least *try* to bring the
others back before you go gallivanting off on a suicide mission." Her
determined words projected authoritative confidence as she slowly and
deliberately gathered up her cards, shuddering inwardly as her thoughts
harkened back to that fateful reading that seemed impossibly long ago,
while in reality only an hour or so in the past. Iola Beth detested
having to put up a false facade, but the shock and fear of the incident
still resonated strongly among the few remaining denizens and it was
disrupting her aura, interfering with what meager powers had been left
her. She would never be able to help those who had gone missing until her
companions had calmed.

The others watched on breathlessly as Iola Beth closed her eyes
and turned her face to the heavens, breathing in deeply as if to draw
energy from the air itself. She hefted the deck in her hand and then
stopped. There was a feeling of incompleteness. One card was missing.

Slowly the soothsayer opened her eyes, her gaze drifting
uncertainly until it alighted on the dusty, barren ground. She paled.
There was the missing card. The one that had sealed the fate of so many
that were dear to her. The World.

Quietly, Iola Beth turned to Klio. "Please go fetch the rest of
the denizens. I am still very weak and in this state I will need to draw
on the strength of everyone here."

As Klio silently departed for the stables, the soothsayer reached
down and retrieved the errant card. Regarding it for a moment, transfixed
with a sensation of fathomless sorrow, she brushed two fingers tenderly
along the card's worn surface. The ground beneath them rumbled slightly
and Summer caught her breath, clinging to Autolycus for support. The
other denizens clutched the table until the vibrations had passed.

Exchanging a concerned look with Iolaus2, Iola Beth cautiously
returned The World to the deck, silently wondering whether she had the
spiritual strength to attempt another reading. Her memories of the force
which had possessed here were still so painfully vivid and she could not
be certain that whatever malignant entity had overtaken would not attempt
to do so again.

The former jester sensed her trepidation and reached across the
table to squeeze her hand in encouragement. "I'm here," he whispered.
"Everything is going to be fine."

The soothsayer offered him a faint smile. "I hope so," she
murmured. "Listen, I want you to promise that if it happens again... That
is, if I..."

"I'll see it," he responded, a hint of fear behind the earnestness
of his expression. "We'll stop you."

Nodding, Iola Beth looked down at her cards and shuffled them,
handling with the delicacy of butterfly wings. She tried to focus in on
the positive energy she had grown so accustomed to, cutting the deck
methodically until it felt *just right*.

When Klio returned with JediK, Deianerra, and Sulee, the
soothsayer took a deep breath. "I need everyone to focus on the cards,"
she said quietly to the unnaturally small gathering of denizens. "We're
trying to bring the others home from wherever it is they have been taken,
but we have to establish a strong sense of place: a beacon for their
spirits to follow. I fear that the cards alone will be too weak to guide
them."

Placing her hand gently on the top of the deck, Iola Beth closed
her eyes. Her voice was barely a whisper and on most nights would have
been inaudible above the quiet rustling of the breeze through the
surrounding trees. But the wind had gone from this place, vanishing into
itself inexplicably as the tavern itself had done. The only stir in the
air this night was created by the seer herself in the warm breath that
accompanied her rhythmic words, making itself momentarily visible in the
chill atmosphere before dissipating into nothingness. Again nothingness.

"Let us first think of one of the great heroes that inspire us.
The one that loves without question, offering friendship unqualified. The
one whose might against the forces of hate is bested only by his capacity
to give. We call to you, Hercules, and beckon you home."

As Iola Beth's voice faded into silence, the denizens opened their
minds to her, allowing her to guide them in their thoughts. Sulee bit her
lip, wincing from the intense concentration. Klio, JediK and Norcia
smiled as the thought of the hero filled their hearts with hope. Deianerra
was all serenity, her eyelids calmly fluttering as she recalled the
magnificent wonders the demigod had performed. Others turned their
reactions inwards, leaning forward against the table and placing their
hands over their eyes, as if to redirect their straying focus. The seer
could sense all of the minds striving together to achieve a common goal.
Many minds, yet one mind.

Mustering up all of her stamina, Iola Beth clutched her amulet,
feeling its power resonate within her and soothe her spirit. Cautiously,
she lifted the top card, thankfully without invasion of the malignant
force which had guided her earlier. She felt the culminated focus of the
group: their combined passion, fear, and hope was almost overpowering,
but she steeled herself and channeled it into the energy of the card. It
shook slightly, overflowing with power as she laid it face-up on the
table.

Strength.

******************************

CCAmazon was not amused. She enjoyed a good practical joke as
much as the next amazon (well, more actually. Most amazons hated
practical jokes) but enough was enough. Being locked in the wine cellar
during one of the wildest Tavern parties of the year was *not* her idea of
fun. The amazon pounded on the locked door that lead to the stairwell a
few more times and huffily strode over to Ifae, who was busy rapping her
knuckles against the packed dirt wall, searching for a hidden exit.

"How in Tartarus did he do it, Ifae?" she grumbled, slouching
against the wall and then sputtering angrily when the action brought a
cascade of dirt down on her head. "Who would have ever suspected that
*Autolycus* of all people would be able to figure out how to transport
half of the denizens down to the wine cellar?"

Ifae shrugged and continued with her systematic investigation.
"You know, I strongly suspected it was all done with mirrors when it first
happened, but Caro has certainly proved me wrong on that front."

The two women glanced over at the bar fly with bemusement as she
sat on a stock barrel, merrily polishing off a bottle of wine. A
collection of empty containers lay in a jumbled heap next to her. Oddly
enough, of all the denizens she was the only one that didn't seem to mind
their predicament.

Sierra, who had been scanning the floor for loose boards and trap
doors, anything that might provide them with a means of egress, approached
Ifae and CCAmazon with a heavy sigh.

"No luck," she said, frowning. "I admit I was impressed with the
trick at first but we've been down here quite a while now and I'm more
than ready to get back to the party."

"Whaatshoor hurry?" came the slurred voice of Caro from her barrel
in the corner.

CCAmazon emitted a short, bitter laugh before turning back to her
companions with a scowl. "Well you all are taking this pretty well.
Personally, I'm starting to get mad. If you'll notice there is a distinct
lack of heroes, de-pantsers, peacekeepers, and upper management down here
with us. Clearly, they're in on the joke. We've got to get even." The
entertainment director pounded her fist against her open palm, the gleam
of vengeance sparkling in her eyes.

"First we've got to get out of here," Sierra corrected. "*Then*
we get even."

"I don't know," Ifae pondered aloud. "Something seems wrong in
all of this. Even if the others *were* pulling a practical joke on us
they would have known to end it by now. I'm thinking that either they
locked us down here as a joke and then ran into trouble of some sort,
or..."

"...Or we're not where we think we are." The voice was Harmonia's
and it brought a silencing chill that spread instantaneously throughout
the room. The hum of conversations among the scattered denizens ceased at
the terrifying tenor of the statement.

Ifae, Sierra, and CCAmazon looked at the bouncer aghast. Could it
be that their situation was even worse than they had suspected? "I think
you'd better come with me," Harmonia announced, jerking her head for the
others to follow.

The small band of denizens proceeded to a far corner of the cellar
where Harmonia, MArissa, and GabrielleTyger had been trying to dig a
tunnel through the floor. The hole they had made was obscured by a thick,
aged tarp and the floorboards that they had torn out to clear the way for
their undertaking lay neatly stacked against the wall nearby.

The crowd around the hole increased as denizens gathered from
every corner of the cellar to see what the commotion was about. Harmonia
chewed her lip with concern as she prepared to explain, the growing
agitation that ripped through the crowd doing little to increase her
confidence. "Well," she began hesitantly, "the Tavern has always had a
relatively high level of ground water so I was initially concerned that it
might cause problems by preventing us from digging a deep enough tunnel."

"Water? Is that all?" Mmmuffin sniffed wearily from the periphery
of the crowd, eyeing the tarp with obvious disinterest.

"That's *not* what I said," Harmonia snapped, obviously peeved at
the assistant bartender for dismissing her discovery so quickly. Their
time in the cellar had been a confusing and stressful one and tempers were
running high.

"So the water *isn't* the problem?" Sierra asked, her brow
furrowed with concern.

"Not exactly," the bouncer replied. "I hope you're ready for
this." Harmonia took a deep breath and pulled the tarp away from the
hole.

The room gasped. At the bottom of the hole they had dug, about
two meters deep, was not the placid pool of water they had expected but
molten lava, glowing bright red as it flowed sluggishly beneath the
Tavern's tenuous dirt foundation. All eyes widened in terror as Harmonia
took one of the discarded floor boards and dropped it into the pit. It
disintegrated in an instant, the lingering flames creeping impatiently up
the sides of the hole before dying away.

CCAmazon was the first to speak. "What does it mean?" she gasped,
unable to lift her gaze from the entrancing burrow of deadly flame.

Ifae's response, barely a whisper, was the only sound to break the
hush. "It means we have to get out of here. Now."

******************************

"This sucks," whispered Lhyric over her shoulder to the sheriff.
They were tied back to back in a room that *looked* like the front room
but wasn't and had spent the last hour being forced to listen to the
maniacal babble of someone that looked like Iola Beth but wasn't. Next to
them on the floor was the unconscious form of Hercules... at least it
*looked* like Hercules. The bouncer's reality had been turned so far
upside down and inside out that she couldn't be sure of anything anymore.
But considering that she was the real her (at least she thought so) and
the sheriff seemed like the real sheriff, Lhyric concluded that this
bound, prone form *had* to be the real Hercules.

Across the room, a loud banging was emanating from the garish
magic cabinet. "Could I at *least* get some food in here?!" came an
irritated voice from within. Yep. That was *definitely* the real Iolaus.

Lhyric strained her neck to try and look at what Ryp was doing
with their ropes. "Can't you do that any faster?" she pleaded. "I'm
dying here." The bouncer hated nothing in the world more than being
helpless and she was rapidly approaching the limit to her sanity. She had
no idea where she was or how she had come to be there. The only thing she
could be sure of was that something was very, very wrong and that she had
to get out of there. Now.

"Shhh!" hissed Ryp irritably in response to her fellow captive's
plaintive demand. "I'm going as fast as I can. These knots are tricky!"

The bouncer snorted. "I wish I was tied to Autolycus," she
huffed.

Ryp stopped working on the ropes for a moment and turned her head
to face her companion the best she could. "Later, I'm going to remind you
that you said that," she said flatly.

From across the room bellowed the sinister voice of Iola Beth, or
whoever she was. "Pipe down over there," she snarled. "How is one
expected to complete her ingenious, sinister plan with all that racket?!"

"Oh. Our apologies," Lhyric spat venomously, sneering at the
villainess as menacingly as she could from her subdued position.

Before the evil sorceress could retaliate, there was a loud clamor
from the cabinet. "FOOD!" the voice within demanded.

Iola Beth was just starting to approach the cabinet, her eyes
flashing with anger and her hands crackling with lightening, when the door
from the back room swung open and a familiar looking woman strode through,
the unconscious Grace slung unceremoniously over her shoulder.

The sorceress turned to face the new arrival, the sparks of
electricity fading from her slender hands. "Lhyric!" she rasped, "thank
the gods you've finally arrived. Maybe *you* can keep our guests under
control... or at least *quiet* for five minutes. They are driving me
*insane*."

"Can't imagine *that* takes much of an effort," Lhyric scoffed as
she deposited Grace perfunctorily on the ground next to Hercules.

"Have any luck with that one?" asked Iola Beth, regarding Grace
with an expression that was equal parts curiosity and contempt.

"Nope." With no little roughness, the henchwoman shoved Grace
against the bar and secured her hands to the foot rail behind her. "I
used the professor's brain box doohickey on her but she didn't have any
useful information to offer. It *does* seem like she felt safe in her
world, though, so it's possible that it may still be more or less intact."

"Good to hear," mused the sorceress thoughtfully. "She may not
have provided us with any strategic information but it does not matter.
We have already won the war, and handily, I might add. All that's left
for us is to wrap up the details."

"I don't know," Lhyric the Evil responded, her eyes darting about
suspiciously. "Maybe I should use the brain box on these two. See what
they know." Indicating the two women tied back to back, she kicked Ryp
sharply in the shoulder.

"No, no," insisted Iola Beth testily. "Grace is the leader in
their world. These others won't know anything more than she does."

Lhyric shrugged, far too indifferent to argue the point. "What
about the big guy, then? Did you put him out of commission?"

"Yes." The sorceress' lip curled into a sinister, self-satisfied
smile. "I put a sleeping spell on that one. He's the only one of these
duds I'm concerned about, and I can't afford to waste my resources on
anyone else." She crossed the room to stand triumphantly over the
unconscious demigod when suddenly her eyes widened. Instinctively, she
clutched at her chest, withdrawing from the night black folds of her cloak
a crimson amulet, carved in the shape of a single flame.

"What's happening?!" gasped the gruff henchwoman as she stared at
the prone form of Hercules which now flickered unnaturally as if caught
between realities. A few moments passed by during which Hercules' hulking
form seemed to unwillingly fade partially from view before returning
definitively to the here and now.

Back to back, Lhyric and Ryp watched these strange events unfold
with bated breath. Something big was happening and they didn't even know
if it was good or bad. Either way, though, they both concluded that
anything had to be better than their current set of circumstances.

A minute or so later, Hercules lost all hint of translucence and
again was as he had been earlier: solid, bound, and thoroughly
unconscious.

The ensuing silence was torn apart by a victorious cackle from
Iola Beth. Her amulet glowed with the power that pulsed through it and
she permitted it to fall once again against her chest, its purpose more
than adequately fulfilled. Turning her face to the heavens, she continued
to cackle with murderous intensity, a sound which chilled the bouncer and
the sheriff to the core. Even Iolaus stopped rattling the locked door of
the cabinet and listened to the sound which rang with the ominous timbre
of a death knell.

"A valiant effort, my dear," the sorceress cried, still facing the
heavens, "but as you now no doubt realize, *that* door has been
irrevocably closed. I have sealed the path home for these wastrels.
Forever!"

The only response to this declaration was the barely audible
murmur of the sheriff swearing under her breath.

When she finally deigned to desist from her maniacal laughter,
Iola Beth turned towards the back room. "GRACE!" she screeched.

Almost immediately, the door swung open and out stepped one of the
most intimidating individuals Lhyric had ever seen. Thankful that she had
been the one tied up facing the door, the bouncer babe blinked in
surprise. Had she heard right? Didn't that witch say...? No, it
couldn't be.

The woman who had just entered was completely bald, with cryptic
tattoos covering most of her skull and face. She was also enormous - huge
arms, huge legs, even a huge neck - and almost as well muscled as Hercules
himself. She looked like a compulsively over-achieving, drug inflated
body builder. But behind her unpleasant scowl lurked the familiar
features of a certain tavern owner.

"Oh. My. God," Lhyric gasped.

"What is it?" demanded Ryp, struggling in vain to catch a glimpse
of the person who had just entered.

Lhyric shook her head in disbelief as the monster in the boss'
face approached. "Let's just say I'm glad Grace isn't awake to see this."

Iola Beth smiled at the horror on the bouncer's face. Now that
her two most vicious henchwomen were here she longed to continue her
conniving elsewhere, confident that these two thugs would keep everything
well under control.

"Well," the sorceress sneered, "I presume you two will be able to
handle things here. I am going to adjourn to my tower and put the
finishing touches on the Mass Transport spell that will get us all out of
here."

"Sure thing, Boss," said the malicious Lhyric, hopping casually
upon the bar.

"Sure thing, Boss," Lhyric mimicked snidely.

Iola Beth raised her eyebrows in disapproval and nodded sharply at
Grace the Barbarian. The enormous woman delivered a brutal kick to
Lhyric's solar plexus, knocking the wind out of her. The force of the
blow was so great that it carried through to Ryp, breaking one of her
fingers as she continued to struggle with the ropes that bound them. The
pair fell sideways in pain and just lay there, faces pressed against the
ground as Iola Beth departed, her piercing laughter lingering long after
her form was no longer visible.

"Ow," gasped Lhyric when she finally regained her breath.

Ryp swallowed hard, wishing she could force down the pain with
equal facility. "You said it, sister," she muttered.

All was silent for several minutes until there was a slight stir
at the bar and Grace reawakened. Confronted with her own face bending
over her covered with tattoos and horribly contorted in its aspect, the
tavern owner began, simply, to scream.

******************************

The denizens released a collective breath and slumped across the
table of the solitary booth, totally drained of all their energy.

Failure. Their attempt to bring Hercules home had failed and they
had felt it with sickening finality in their stomachs as the last glimmer
of hope ebbed away.

Iola Beth put a hand over her face and gently rubbed her temples.
She was keenly aware, tragically aware, that their only hope now resided
in Iolaus2's plan of venturing into the Wherever World himself.

The rest of the denizens realized this also and although the table
had fallen into silence, the individuals looked at each other with
expressions that said more than a lifetime of conversations.

Finally, Iolaus2 broke the hush. He was the only one that could.
"You know what we have to do now," he whispered, gaze focused intently on
the soothsayer.

"I know," she murmured, reluctant to allow her eyes to meet his.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"It's not even a choice," he responded quietly. "It's a duty."

"Very well," Iola Beth sighed, "but I will need several minutes to
regain my strength."

"But what if we don't have several minutes?" asked Klio, her brow
furrowed with concern. "We don't know where the others are or what's
happening to them. Time is of the essence!"

"I wish I could do better," Iola Beth replied, "but I'm just too
weak right now. Maybe if we had another enchanted object I might be able
to do it sooner, but..."

"Oh," scoffed Autolycus, "an enchanted object. That's no problem.
Why there are just so *many* objects around here, probability dictates
that simply hundreds of them must be enchanted. Why, we have this
booth... and that cabinet.. and a well... and... and... whoops. Nope,
that's pretty much it."

"This is not the time for sarcasm," snapped Norcia, glaring at the
thief. "We need to get Iolaus to... wherever we need to get him to and we
need to do it now!"

"You think I don't know that?" Auto shot back. "I feel as badly
about this as anybody. It was *my* magic show that prevented us from
figuring things out sooner."

"Well for someone so wrought with remorse, you certainly aren't
being very helpful. I..."

"QUIET!" bellowed Iola Beth, frightening everyone with the
uncharacteristic forcefulness in her voice. "Bickering amongst ourselves
is not going to resolve anything. Now let's just all calm down and...
and... JediK, Deianerra, would you *kindly* pay attention? What on earth
are you two gawking at?"

Deianerra looked up at Iola Beth innocently. "Her," she said,
pointing across the barren ground to where Sweeneybird was finally awake,
crouching down and placing her open palms against nothing whatsoever.
"What is she doing?"

"She's doing 'Help, I'm trapped in a box,'" snorted Iolaus2, "and
doing it very poorly, I might add."

"Cut the mime gig, Sweens," snapped Steph. "We've got serious
problems here."

Sweeneybird nodded in earnest acknowledgment and then continued
with her routine, switching briefly to opening and walking through an
imaginary door, before returning to explore the inside of an invisible
box.

"Wait," Sulee piped up after a careful study of the mime's
exaggerated movements. "I think she's trying to tell us something..."

"Then why doesn't she just *talk" grumbled JediK.

"Because," responded Iola Beth, "that isn't Sweeneybird."

"Of course it's Sweeneybird," snapped Steph, rolling her eyes and
wishing once again that she had a tasty beverage with which she could
clear her mind and calm her temper, "I mean, look at her."

Several of the other denizens furrowed their brows and nodded in
agreement. It was *obviously* Sweeneybird. How could it *not* be? There
was an old saying in the Tavern that said, 'If it looks like a Sweeneybird
and quacks like a Sweeneybird then odds are it *is* a Sweeneybird, even if
it's dressed like a mime.' Of course, that was paraphrasing the adage
somewhat.

"Actually... I have to go with Iola Beth on this one ," announced
Autolycus. Once a woman divests you of your pants against your will, you
tend to remember her features with profound clarity and, trust me, that
woman is *not* Sweeneybird... at least not the one we know."

Iolaus2 sat silent, gazing at the woman as she felt her way around
a corner of her non-existent prison, chastising himself for not having
recognized it earlier. This woman was so obviously what he had once been:
an enslaved entertainer. And she wasn't holding up very well. It was as
if the mime had drawn so far within herself that she could no longer
emerge from her silent persona. But nevertheless she was now trying to
communicate with them... to tell them something... But what? He watched
her silently for a few moments before it hit him. Of course! The
cabinet!

The former jester offered Iola Beth a meaningful look and she
nodded in grim agreement. She had come to the same conclusion as he about
the mime's intended message and divined that her effort to help was in
earnest. Now there was nothing stopping them from carrying out their plan,
although the soothsayer had yet to make up her mind about whether that was
actually a good thing. More valuable, however, was the information the
mime's presence provided about the location of the tavern and the missing
denizens. This new Sweeneybird must have come from *somewhere* and that's
precisely where the others would be.

Iola Beth collected her thoughts and cleared her throat softly in
order to quell the heated debates that had sprung up among the denizens.
"If the woman over there is some *other* Sweeneybird," she whispered,
"then it looks like we're dealing with an alternate universe here, folks."

There was a collective groan followed by a series of suspicious
looks around the table.

Norcia frowned. "That means it's us and them," she said,
narrowing her eyes and glancing askance at Lurker Jean, "and we have no
way of determining for sure when one of *them* is in or midst."

"Oh, you'll know," Iolaus2 assured her. "If the differences
between this world and hers..." he indicated Sweeneybird as she pranced
about walking an invisible dog, "are as profound as the differences
between this one and mine, there should be no difficulty whatever in
determining who's who. We just have to remember that not *everyone* in
the other world is necessarily the enemy. "

"Enough talking," announced Iola Beth, rising definitively from
her seat. "We'll sort this all out later. For now, let's just get Iolaus
started on his mission. The longer we wait the more tenuous our chance at
success. Klio, Lurker Jean, please move Autolycus' magic cabinet to the
other side of the clearing, where the supply closet used to be. If we
manage to send Iolaus to wherever it is that the Tavern has gone he may
materialize inside and we want to at least try and provide him with a
decent hiding place." The soothsayer frowned, despite the eagerness with
which the others leapt up to obey her command. She turned to Iolaus2 with
a concerned expression. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

"Ready?" he responded uncertainly. He couldn't honestly say. At
that moment, however, he spotted the glint of moonlight off of the bell on
Summer's cap and knew what he had to do. "I'm almost ready," he said,
smiling faintly and taking a deep, steadying breath. "Summer, may I
borrow your jester's costume? If I'm going to succeed in this mission I'm
going to need to draw strength from where I'm going as well as where I've
been."

A moment later, Iolaus2 found himself garbed in the much hated
garments that had served as his prison for so many years. He knew,
however, that if he had the strength to escape from the Sovereign's world,
he would have the strength to do anything. He tucked himself uncertainly
into the magic cabinet and as the others looked on with concern gave Iola
Beth a faint nod. The soothsayer nodded in response and grasped the deck,
feeling the energy of the cards flow through her. She took a deep breath
and placed her hand on the top card, even as Iolaus2 squeezed his eyes
shut in anticipation. Iola Beth turned over the card and placed it on the
table.

The Fool.

All eyes turned to the cabinet where Iolaus2 still crouched, eyes
clenched shut, unaware that the card had been turned. He opened them
hesitantly after a moment and frowned.

"It didn't work!" Deianerra wailed. "We'll never get the tavern
back now!"

"Maybe the cabinet door has to be shut," offered Steph.

"Or *maybe* it doesn't work on Iolaus because he's from an
alternate universe," muttered Lurker Jean from the corner.

'Of course,' thought Iola Beth, chiding herself silently for the
error. 'When The Fool fell the first time, it was the other Iolaus that
vanished. I must look inwardly to find the appropriate card.'

"Try it again!" insisted JediK.

"Yeah," agreed Steph, "and close the door this time."

Klio stepped forth and, offering Iolaus2 an apologetic look,
closed the door of the cabinet.

Iola Beth shuffled the cards again and refocused her energy, this
time grasping her amulet for added strength. She lay the deck down on the
table and drew the top card.

The Fool, reversed this time.

The soothsayer stared at the card for a moment and then looked up,
nodding at Klio urgently.

Klio approached the cabinet warily and opened the door to reveal
Iolaus once again.

"Great," sighed Steph. "It didn't work *again*. *Now* what are
we going to do?"

Iola Beth frowned and looked down at the card. She had been
*sure* it would work this time...

Iolaus crawled cautiously out of the gaudy cabinet, a look of
consternation on his face. He frowned, looking up at Klio and Summer, who
gazed at him sadly. "But how..." he began, but his words trailed off as
he caught sight of Autolycus, whom he gaped at in surprise. "But what are
*you* doing...?" His question was again cut short when he noticed Iola
Beth out of the corner of his eye. With a slight yelp he dove behind the
cabinet, losing his spectacles in the process and tearing a hole in his
long, white coat. He looked around in terror, emerging only momentarily
to accept his spectacles when Deianerra offered them to him. He cowered
behind the cabinet as if in fear of imminent disintegration, recoiling in
horror if anyone attempted to approach him.

The soothsayer shut her eyes wearily when she realized what had
happened. This disaster was getting more complicated by the minute.

"Great," scoffed Autolycus as he glared at the new arrival.
"That's just what this place needed. *Another* Iolaus."

******************************



******************************

Darkness. But was it the darkness of Autolycus' magic cabinet or
a new, terrifying darkness? Had Iola Beth thrown the card yet? Had it
worked?

Iolaus2 stood up, noting that the claustrophobic space he found
himself in seemed notably less claustrophobic than it had earlier. He
listened at the wall and, finding only silence without, dared to crack the
door open somewhat. He appeared to be in the Tavern. The good old
Tavern. The back hallway to be exact. There was no one about so he crept
cautiously out, wincing at the loud jingle which accompanied his first
step and reaching up to silence the golden bell that dangled from his
jester's cap.

Iolaus2 took another step forward. The passageway to his left
lead towards the main barroom. He decided it would be best not to explore
that area until he had gathered some reinforcements. That's probably
where all of the action was. So instead he crept along the passageway to
his right. He had no particular destination in mind, but figured a little
reconnaissance couldn't hurt.

As he warily approached the end of the corridor he heard the sound
of muffled voices emanating from the door that lead to the spacious wine
cellar. Moments after he knelt to listen at the door, however, he felt a
deliberate tap on the shoulder and heard a familiar voice ring out in
greeting. "There you are, Iolaus. I've been looking for you everywhere!"

The former jester heaved a heavy sigh of relief. It was her. He
had hoped that she, among others, might have been able to escape her
mysterious captors. Now at least he'd be part of a rescue party of two,
which in his eyes was greatly preferable to a solo mission. "Hello,
Sheriff," he said, turning to face her with a bright smile.

As soon as he started to turn, however, a pair of fingers grasped
his ear firmly and pulled him to his feet. He blinked at the woman in
surprise. It was Ryp, all right... at least it *looked* like her... if
she ever would have been caught dead in glasses, that is.

"Sheriff...." mused Ryp, relinquishing her grip on Iolaus2's ear
in order to push her glasses higher on her nose. "That's very cute,
Iolaus, but I'll stick to 'Professor,' thanks. Now what are you doing
here? It's bad enough that we're sneaking down to the cellar to talk to
the prisoners at all... Iola Beth would slaughter us if she found out...
but we *certainly* can't be attempting it one at a time. We need to stick
together on this! Things are bad enough around here without.... wait.
What in Tartarus are you doing in that outfit? Where is your lab coat?"
She huffed irritably and turned her eyes towards the heavens. "Oh, great
Athena!" she cried, an eminently pitiable expression on her face. "I ask
you for a lab assistant and you send me *this*?! I am *definitely* going
to have to start making more frequent offerings at your temple."

Iolaus2 just gaped at Ryp... er... the Professor incredulously,
unsure whether he had stumbled upon a convenient ruse or completely
botched the mission in record time. Before he could say anything,
however, the door to the front room flew open and Iola Beth stormed
through it, her raven-hued robes swirling about her like a maelstrom.

When she caught sight of Iolaus2 and his new companion, she bared
her teeth and stalked angrily towards them. "What are you two doing out
of the lab?" she demanded.

The Professor looked helplessly at Iolaus2 before stammering,
"We... we... were just down here stretching our legs..."

The sorceress seemed unimpressed with this response. "There will
plenty of time for leg stretching when we're safely in the Other World,"
she barked. "Right now you need to keep working until you have finished
the power amplification device. Unless you've already finished it, that
is... So? Is it done yet?!"

"No...n-not quite yet," Ryp mumbled, averting her eyes from the
sorceress' fiery gaze. "Soon, though. *very* soon."

"Good," hissed Iola Beth. "For your sake, it had *better* be
soon. Oh and by the way, that brain box thing you invented is absolutely
useless. Lhyric couldn't get *any* information out of the Other Worlders'
leader. Chalk up another failure for the Professor. I think you'd
better stick to building weapons from here on out. That's an order."

The scientist stepped forward hesitantly, clutching Iolaus2's
shoulder desperately, as if the act might enhance her emotional strength.
"If... if I may be so bold..." she began, "I would just like to reiterate
that if our theory about what is happening to this universe is correct
then we're going about this all wrong... Don't you think we could at least
*try* to..."

"Silence!" Iola Beth's eyes flashed with anger, causing the
professor to cringe and meekly adjust her glasses from where they had been
blown askew by the force of the sorceress' command. "I would have thought
you were too intelligent for such impertinence. See that it doesn't
happen again! Now get back to the laboratory before I'm forced to go
there myself and start disassembling all of your precious scientific
equipment piece by piece... starting with that sniveling lab assistant of
yours." With a final, vicious glare at Iolaus2, the sorceress took her
leave, confident that she had made her message crystal clear.

When Iola Beth was out of sight, the Professor turned to Iolaus,
her eyes wide with terror. "Come on!" she hissed insistently, pulling him
towards the wine cellar's heavy door. "We haven't got much time!"

******************************

It took nearly all of the denizens working in concert to finally
lure Iolaus3 out of hiding. Amazingly enough, in the end it was
Autolycus, of all people, that managed to convince him of his safety. He
still seemed wary of Iola Beth, however, and refused to go near her at all
until he caught sight of her amulet - green jade in the shape of a tear,
or a burgeoning rain drop.

When he saw the pendant, Iolaus3 immediately looked around, taking
stock of his strange new environment, and then back at Iola Beth in
amazement. "This is the place, isn't it? This is the Other World."

"Apparently so," said Iola Beth gently, still concerned that her
words might frighten him back into hiding, "but how did you know about
us?"

Iolaus3 didn't respond, seeming to be lost in his own thoughts.
He looked around him, drinking in the total emptiness of the place with a
pained expression. He straightened his spectacles and peered out towards
the horizon, which was just beginning to be illuminated by the impending
dawn. When he saw the vast, charcoal-grey clouds gathering ominously in
the distance he swallowed nervously. "So..." he whispered, "the Professor
was right."

"Professor?" asked Klio suddenly enough to make Iolaus3 shriek and
leap backwards in surprise, "what professor? Is there some mad scientist
behind all of this?"

Brushing off the front of his stained lab coat, Iolaus3 frowned.
"No... this isn't the professor's doing... Not *entirely* anyway. *She's*
the one that masterminded it all!" He pointed a trembling finger at Iola
Beth, who just shook her head sadly in response to the astounded gasps
from the denizens.

The soothsayer didn't know what to say. She had already deduced
that there was only one individual in the alternate universe that should
have been able to force her actions in her initial reading, but she had
not wanted to believe that *any* incarnation of her could be so truly
evil. There was no denying it now, though, and she felt all the more
determined to counteract all that had gone wrong. Even though she knew
she could not be held responsible for her counterpart's actions, she
couldn't help but feel that she had let everyone down, that she could have
stopped this tragedy from happening somehow.

Of course, Iola Beth was not the only one struggling with
misplaced feelings of remorse. There was another present who felt
overwhelmingly responsible for the disaster that had occurred and wanted
more than anything to set things right... and this was a person who was
more than accustomed to getting what he wanted. While the others were
distracted by the terrible revelations Iolaus3 was providing about the
nightmarish world from which he had come, a solitary thief crept silently
across the room, unnoticed until he was upon his quarry.

Even Iola Beth could not react quickly enough to stop him. She
looked up just in time to see Autolycus flash her a reassuring smile
before vanishing into nothingness, leaving only the card he had drawn from
the top of the tarot deck to linger in mid-air for a moment before
fluttering noiselessly to land face up on the table top.

The Magician.

******************************

The denizens had transformed themselves into a force to be
reckoned with and were ready to rumble. Now all they needed was someone
to fight... either that or an escape route. Either one would do just
fine.

Once they had recovered from the shock of Harmonia's terrible
discovery that the Tavern had been transported to rest upon a river of
molten lava, the denizens were swift to set all their petty bickering
aside and get ready for action.

Stefka took command of the weapons detail, with Cait as her trusty
lieutenant. Along with Mmmuffin, Gary, Khyn, and Rielle, they established
an efficient assembly line, constructing spears, clubs, and staffs out of
the sparse materials available. The dangerous end of the edged weapons
were provided compliments of Caro, who was all to happy to break her empty
wine bottles against the wall and donate the shards to the eminently
worthy cause. The bar fly was also quick to volunteer further services
should the supply of empty bottles run low.

Ziggy, Kade, and Harmonia sat down to construct a detailed floor
plan of the Tavern itself. They knew they had been conveyed far from home
but judging by the all too familiar layout of the wine cellar, the Tavern
had come with them. As such, they hoped to use their familiarity with the
premises to their advantage in planning guerrilla tactics against their
unsuspecting foes... whomever they might be.

Sierra and Ifae took strategic command of the Tavern Brigade and
did their very best to outline what little they knew about their abduction
that might help them in battle. They had precious little information to
go on, but they stalwartly debated their options, determined that they
would defeat their unknown foes and suffer no casualties.

CCAmazon was given the office of personnel director and she roamed
throughout the cellar taking stock of all who were present and noting
those that might be missing. Since CC was famous for knowing almost
everyone that came into the Tavern, she was best qualified to catalogue
those absent. Whenever she noticed someone was lacking, she would relay
that information to the Rescue Squad, which consisted of Laurie, yarbo,
and Stacey/Meg. Their job was to determine where else in the tavern stray
prisoners might be being held and decide how to best facilitate their
rescue.

Alliana and Jeanne were, of course, in charge of provisions and they raced
around frantically, looking for anything and everything edible that had
not already been confiscated by Stefka for use in the weapons delegation.
Bev, Arrow, and Marissa, meanwhile, were responsible for coordinating
defense. They lifted the lids off of several barrels to make broad and
clumsy, but undeniably solid shields and constructed helmets from the
buckets and cans that lay strewn about beneath the stairwell. They
enlisted the help of the remaining denizens to aid them in their hunt for
suitable armor in the far corners of the cellar, even snatching select
items away from the weaponry contingent when Stefka's back was turned.

Ifae looked up from the plans she and Sierra had been scratching
in the dirt and smiled at the bustle of activity before her. She knew
they were in trouble. She *knew* they could easily be marching into war.
But she couldn't help but be satisfied at the concerted effort of everyone
present. Such spirit, such passion, such enthusiasm. Perhaps she was a
hopeless optimist but she felt in her very soul that with so much heart
going for them, the denizens would surely be victorious.

Noting her friend's momentary distraction, Sierra glanced over at
Ifae to see what was demanding her attention. The bartender could read
Ifae like a book, and new immediately what she was thinking. The pride in
her eyes was unmistakable but Sierra, sadly, could not help but feel less
than confident. They were a rag-tag band of denizens going up against an
unknown foe in an unknown location. If it was the gods they were
combating, she seriously doubted they would be intimidated by a couple of
broken bottles stuck on the end of a stick. The bartender sighed and
turned back to her battle scheme. As much as she would like to share
faith in Ifae's belief in the power of hope and determination, it just
wasn't in her nature. She desperately hoped that her pessimism would
prove to be unfounded, but only time would tell.

'Right now,' Sierra thought, 'I'd be satisfied with a way to get
out of the basement.'


******************************


The professor waited until a minute or two had passed and she was
certain Iola Beth wasn't going to return immediately. Once she was
satisfied of their relative safety, the scientist grasped Iolaus2 by the
elbow and handed him a clip board with a few blank sheets of paper on it.
Once they were through the door that lead to the cellar, she shut it
carefully behind them and proceeded down the stairs.

"We have to ask these prisoners about their world... whether it's
gradually vanishing the way ours is. I just hope they're willing to
cooperate. You know how stubborn prisoners can be."

Iolaus2 watched the professor as she descended the stairs in front
of her. She seemed terribly weak and scrawny compared to the Ryp he knew:
her hair was mousy and hung limply beneath a pair of goggles she wore on
the top of her head. Her skin was almost deathly pale, a stark contrast
to the deep bronze the Sheriff always bore. She seemed so fearful and
unsure of herself that he was amazed she had the courage to do *anything*
in defiance of Iola Beth's demands.

"So," Iolaus2 whispered, tucking his jester's bauble into the back
of his belt so he could get a tighter grip on his clipboard, "after we get
the information out of these prisoners we can just let them go, right?"

"Oh gods, no!" hissed the professor, sounding as if it were the
most ludicrous suggestion she had ever heard. "Are you crazy? Iola Beth
would fry us on the spot!"

A moment later, they reached the bottom of the stairs and Ryp
found the appropriate key from among the substantial collection she
carried with her. "Well," she whispered, looking back at her assistant
with a smile, "here goes nothing!"

"You've got *that* right," murmured Iolaus as he struck the
scientist sharply on the top of the head with his clipboard. "Sorry,
Professor," he offered as the woman's body sunk limply to the landing at
the foot of the stairs, "you seem like a decent enough person, but you
*do* work for the bad guy, after all."

He picked up the unconscious scientist and flung her over his
shoulder. With a deep breath he stepped forward and slid back the heavy
bolt that barred entrance to the wine cellar. It was time to set the
denizens free.


******************************

Sweeneybird awoke with a headache that would discomfit the dead.
She tried to reconstruct her most recent memories, fuzzy as they were, but
had very little luck. Squeezing her eyes closed in attempt to shut out
the pain, she retraced her steps starting early in the evening. She
remembered the party and the magic act and... Oh gods, her head!

Giving up on using her brain for the moment, Sweeneybird looked
around the room to try and take stock of where she was. She lay sprawled
across an uncomfortable cot in a tiny, sterile chamber. The room beyond
the cot was totally barren and the floor, ceiling, and three of the walls
were painted an immaculate white. The fourth wall was completely missing
and opened up into a dark and dreary study, ceiling high with ancient
scrolls and paneled in mahogany.

Finally mustering up the strength to rise, Sweeneybird staggered
unsteadily forward to explore this new, more promising room. She didn't
recognize her surroundings in the least, but she hoped that rifling
through the study's contents might provide her with some insight.

As she attempted to cross the boundary, however, she was stopped
abruptly by an invisible wall and fell back to the floor, rubbing her nose
tenderly. More astonished than injured, she immediately rose and began
examining the wall. It was one of the strangest phenomena she had ever
encountered. The material was simply astounding: it wasn't glass... it
wasn't plastic... it didn't smudge or streak... but it was utterly
impenetrable and utterly invisible.

For lack of an alternate recourse, Sweeneybird began feeling her
way along the wall in hopes of finding a hole, or at least an invisible
doorknob. She felt rather foolish in the activity but at least found
consolation in the fact that there was no one there to see her. Actually,
make that temporary consolation.

A moment later Iola Beth entered the dim study on the other side
of the wall. When she saw Sweeneybird, however, she stopped short, a
bemused smile spreading across her face.

"Ahh... Sweeneybird," she cooed, her voice a frigid calm of the
likes the captive de-pantser had never heard, "practicing as usual, I
see." Her chilling laughter rang out, piercing the blank isolation of the
desolate cell.

Sweeneybird shook her head in confusion, trying to convince
herself that she had only imagined the sinister twinge in the soothsayer's
voice. "Help!" she screamed, uttering a prayer that her friend would end
the cruel joke and free her. "Iola Beth! I'm trapped in here - please...
get me out!"

But Iola Beth went on chatting, as much to herself as to
Sweeneybird, the latter woman's pleas falling on deaf ears... or perhaps
not reaching them at all.

"Our plans are about to come to fruition, my dear," Iola Beth
continued dreamily. She crossed towards an oak desk on the far end of the
study and sifted through several open scrolls which cluttered its surface.

Sweeneybird closed her eyes for a moment, striving to quell the
rising panic. The situation she was in had the surreal, incomprehensible
quality of a nightmare but something deep inside told her that she was
wide awake... and in deep, deep trouble.

Still smiling with a wicked sweetness, Iola Beth... or whatever
that thing was that inhabited her body... approached the invisible
barrier. Involuntarily, Sweeneybird stepped back. Something about the
other woman's gaze overwhelmed her normally fearless heart with
incomparable terror.

"You know what I like best about you, my dear Sweeneybird?" The
sorceress' voice was soft and almost seductive, like a snake charmer. She
tapped a finger casually against the barrier. "You never talk back. I
can tell you all my hopes and dreams... all my plans... and you just
listen. Always listen. You're a very good listener, you know. Sometimes
I wonder if you even understand me at all." Iola Beth lay a finger
pensively against her lip. "Ah well," she concluded after a moment's
thought, "I suppose it doesn't really matter. Frankly, I don't really
care if you can understand me or not."

"Let me out of here, you witch!" Sweeneybird screamed at the top
of her lungs, fighting back tears of anger. She knew this person before
her was *not* Iola Beth and all she wanted now was to escape and return to
the familiarity of the tavern. If there was evil to fight, she'd fight
it, but she wanted to do it on her own turf.

Unable to hear her captive's screams, Iola Beth just smiled
faintly and took a step back to regard the woman that had been her
involuntary confidant for so many years. Suddenly she frowned, actually
*seeing* Sweeneybird for the first time. "Where did you get those
clothes?" she demanded.

Sweens' white virgin costume had blended so thoroughly against the
cell's immaculate background that Iola Beth hadn't even noticed the change
from here usual mime outfit. The sorceress' eyes narrowed.

"I knew something was wrong," she mused grimly. "I thought I felt
someone travel to the Other World during the reading... I just didn't know
who." She slammed an open palm against the invisible barrier and the
force of the impact caused the room to shake so violently that Sweeneybird
feared it would collapse on top of her.

Iola Beth was now crimson with rage. "you're not the real
Sweeneybird at all!" she hissed. "That mime knows all of my plans. She
could destroy everything! I just thank the gods that the years of
captivity have driven her insane. I doubt she'll have either the will or
the ability to cause any serious damage." Iola Beth fingered her amulet
and glared at Sweeneybird, her eyes burning with a deep, red flame. "On
the other hand, if anything does go wrong, *you*, my dear, will be the
first to suffer."

******************************

In the front room all was quiet save for the loud crunching of
Lhyric the Evil Henchwoman, as she devoured bowl after bowl of pretzels,
washing them down with huge quantities of ale. Even Iolaus had wearied of
pounding ceaselessly on the door of the cabinet and his frustration and
hunger had won out, prompting him to fall into silence.

Grace sat on a table in the far corner meditating, her bald head
nodding rhythmically along with her wordless chants.

"Hey Grace," Lhyric grunted, hopping down from her seat on the
counter. "You want to try some of this ale? It's not bad!" The gruff
woman approached her partner, delivering a sharp kick to the captive
tavern keeper, who was still recovering from the shock of waking up to her
own face, covered with tattoos, sneering down at her. Her condition
improved somewhat when she realized that she hadn't, in fact, been looking
in a mirror but she was still pretty shaken up.

Lhyric strode across the room past the unconscious Hercules, the
sheriff, and her Other World counterpart and offered forth a brimming mug
of a notably dingy looking ale.

Grace broke out of her meditation and recoiled in horror at the
proffered beverage. "Ale? No thanks!" she snorted. "Never touch the
stuff. It impurifies the spirit."

Lhyric laughed heartily. "You actually *believe* that? You're
even more full of it than I thought."

Shaking her head slowly, as if dealing with a particularly
disappointing child, Grace sighed. "Alcohol is *very* impure. So is sex.
And any kind of food other than white rice."

Shrugging, Lhyric threw back the ale she had drawn for Grace.
"You're crazy," she said. "I feel as pure as ever."

"You would," muttered the warrior woman.

Lhyric glared at her partner. "Okay, fine, Miss Pure and Mighty.
If all that stuff is so bad for you then what type of activity *is*
purifying?"

A knowing grin spread across Grace's face and she lithely leapt
from her seat at the table top. She walked over to where Lhyric the
bouncer sat facing the rear door. She and Ryp had managed to right
themselves after Grace's last assault but were still no closer to breaking
free. Grace looked down at the bouncer, her eyes glittering with sinister
anticipation. "Hurting people. Now *that's* purifying. Watch." Tossing
her partner a broad smile, Grace back-handed Lhyric across the face.

The henchwoman laughed merrily as her bound counterpart reeled
from the force of the blow. "My goodness, that *does* look fun," she
chortled, sidling up to prod the wheezing bouncer with her foot. "Now
does that kind of purification work with everyone or just people that look
exactly like me?"

Grace chuckled. "Don't flatter yourself - it works on everyone.
Allow me to demonstrate." Cracking her knuckles loudly, she walked around
and stood in front of Ryp, cocking her arm back for a disturbingly large
wind-up.

"Ahem..." the faint cough from the quiet corner booth was
unexpected enough that it halted Grace's attack on the sheriff mid-swing.
She whirled around to face the source of the disturbance, narrowing her
eyes fiercely.

Lhyric, too, had been startled by the intrusion and now crouched
in a deep fighting stance with a large wooden club, her weapon of choice,
gripped tightly in each hand.

"What are *you* doing here?" Lhyric hissed, advancing on the
booth cautiously, like a predator stalking a particularly skittish prey.

Grace grunted in agreement. and strode up beside her partner. "We
don't need any of your ridiculous lectures on social consciousness here.
So why don't you and your new haircut get out of here pronto before we
send you back to your village in pieces."

From his perch at the back of the booth, Autolycus frowned. Him?
Lecturing on Social Consciousness? What kind of a messed up world *was*
this? He had caught a glimpse of the populace so far... Lhyric as a
boorish brute and Grace as a teetotaling titan he could see, but the idea
that he would ever have an interest in civil obligations was just a little
too far fetched.

"Ladies, ladies," he crooned sweetly, "there is no need to be
impolite, I assure you. Just a neighborly visit, that's all..."

The two women began advancing on him and the thief deftly leapt
first to another booth and then to the floor, almost tripping over Lhyric
and Ryp as he backed towards the exit.

"Watch it," grumbled Lhyric testily, slurring slightly due to her
swollen lip. She had been kicked around enough by her enemies today and
wasn't about to start taking it from her friends.

From where she slumped against the foot rail of the bar, Grace
fought back the temptation to call out to Autolycus. He was obviously
there to rescue them but she didn't want to endanger him by destroying his
ruse. The henchwomen had obviously mistaken him for *their* Autolycus and
he was probably much safer that way.

Of course with this crowd, "safe" was a relative term. The women
were getting increasingly agitated as Autolycus continually thwarted their
attempts to capture him. He goaded them on with a stunningly creative
array of taunts and indignities and thus it was no surprise that when he
finally made his way to the exit they threw responsibility to the four
winds and followed after him in insistent, furious pursuit.

"Well *that's* a fine how d'ye do!" grumbled Lhyric when Autolycus
and the henchwomen had departed. "Why did he bother to come in here if he
wasn't even going to *try* and rescue us?"

Grace frowned. Her partner had a point there. He could have at
least made an attempt. "Maybe that *wasn't* our Autolycus after all," she
suggested.

"Oh, that was our Autolycus, all right," murmured Ryp, craning her
neck towards the door in an attempt to confirm that their wayward guards
were not returning anytime soon.

Knitting her brow, Lhyric glared over her shoulder at the sheriff.
"How do *you* know?"

"Well," began Ryp, smiling for the first time since the miserable
ordeal had begun, "first of all, no one else in this or any other universe
has *that* big of a swagger. And secondly, of course, there's this..."
The sheriff opened one of her bound hands to reveal a small, silver knife.
Grace gasped with delight and Lhyric groaned plaintively, unable to see
what the sheriff had revealed.

"He dropped this in my hand when he tripped over us," she said,
maneuvering the blade to sever a few of the ropes that bound her. She
worked her way free, rubbing her tender wrists with relief. "Thanks the
gods for Autolycus," she said as she began to loosen Lhyric's bindings.
"I'm so happy I could..."

"Kiss him?" asked Lhyric with a wicked grin as she pulled her
wrists free of the ropes.

Ryp glared at the bouncer. "No," she said definitively. "I think
a firm handshake will do."

Lhyric hurried to untie Grace while Ryp tried to use Auto's blade
to jimmy the lock on the cabinet that still incarcerated Iolaus.

Once free, Grace stood up woozily, clutching the bar for support.
Her head was still pounding from the tortuous interrogation the Evil
Lhyric had put her through. "What are we going to do about Hercules?"
she asked. "He's far too heavy for us to move, especially after the
going-over those lunatics gave us.

Biting her lip, Lhyric looked thoughtfully down at the motionless
demigod. Grace was right. Hercules was going to be a cumbersome problem
if they couldn't manage to awaken him. They *definitely* needed a plan.

The bouncer's racing thoughts were disrupted a moment later by a
satisfying 'clunk' as Ryp finally managed to force the lock on Iolaus'
cabinet. The door swung open and Iolaus stepped forth with a smug look on
his face.

"So," he said, leaning casually against the cabinet door and
winking at the sheriff. "What's this I hear about you and Autolycus?"

Ryp's broad smile faded instantly. She closed her eyes and took a
deep, calming breath before looking the hunter straight in the eye.
"Don't *make* me put you back in there," she said, knocking menacingly on
the solid wood of the cabinet.

In another time and another place, Grace would have been
entertained by the exchange between Iolaus and the sheriff but right now
she couldn't get beyond her awareness that she and her friends... at least
five but probably countless more... her beloved tavern... all had fallen
captive to some malevolent force that had torn them from their home and
rent their world asunder. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying to
right her own sensibilities in the middle of a world that was so terribly
wrong. They needed more than a plan, she feared. What they needed was a
miracle.

******************************

And last but not least, Pentacles. Take it away, Boss Lady!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


Worlds collide
A mother rejects her young
Tainting the earth
With foul blood

Worlds collide
A mother embraces her children
A joyous reunion
Home again, full circle

*********************
Sierra's grim musings were interrupted when the grating
sound of metal on metal assaulted her ears. Instantly, she was on her
feet and moving for the heavy wooden door, not even pausing as she
grasped the makeshift spear that Stefka thrust into her hands. With a sharp
motion, Ifae commanded the denizens to silence and without being
instructed, they automatically formed ranks. Sierra motioned for Harmy to
take position slightly behind her and with a curt nod to Stefka, she
yanked on the door. As the person on the other side was pulled
through, Stefka tripped him and then continued through the door with
Sierra behind her.

The assistant bouncer did her job effortlessly, landing
on the startled man who had been pulled violently into the room. Working
in tandem, Gary and Ziggy pounced on the prone form that had rolled
bonelessly off the man's shoulder. As the rest of the tavern dwellers
watched apprehensively, Gary, Ziggy and Harmy pulled back in
unison with soft exclamations.

"Uh... do you think maybe you could...uh, move that?"
Iolaus2 gestured weakly at the glittering knife that was being held
loosely at his throat. "I mean, it'll be much easier for me to rescue
everyone if my head is still on my shoulders." He grinned up at his
flabbergasted attacker as she slowly lowered the knife, but kept a wary
eye on him.

"Iolaus?"

"The one and only." He flinched as soon as the words
passed his lips.

"I mean, it's me. Your Iolaus. Actually, your second
Iolaus." He looked around the dank cellar, noticing the taut
expressions on the faces of his friends. Friends who stood, battle ready,
clutching an assortment of hastily made, but lethal looking weapons.
He realized that they probably had no idea what was going on and to be
honest, he wasn't entirely clear on it himself.

Stepping forward, Ifae addressed Iolaus. "Iolaus, what
is going on? Why have we been trapped down here, and what's wrong with
the Tavern?"

Gesturing with a nod of her head, she indicated Professor
Ryp, "And what happened to the sheriff?"

Quickly, Iolaus related the events of the evening to the
best of his knowledge, trying to be as objective as possible. The
denizens were utterly silent as they absorbed the information and
attempted to reconcile this sudden shift of reality. A moan finally
broke the quiet as the Professor started to come around. Gary quickly
secured some rope from Bev and, with Ziggy's help, had her tied securely to
one of the heavy wine barrel racks.

The Professor blinked owlishly, her movements sluggish as
she attempted to focus on her surroundings. "I'm sorry I had to hit
you," Iolaus said gently. "But, I'm not the Iolaus of your world. I'm the
Iolaus from their world, and I'm taking them home."

******************
"Kids, I hate to put a damper on the good cheer, but,"
Grace tried to clamp down on a rising sense of hysteria and failed, "we
- are - SERIOUSLY - SCREWED!" Instantly, the mood in the room
sobered and smiles flew from her friends faces. *Awwww shoot, Grace,
way to go.*

Rubbing the space between her eyes with her thumb, the
barkeep tried again. "We need a plan, here. Lhyric, you look for
weapons. Iolaus, you try to wake Herc up. Ryp, you keep watch for our
'friends'."

As she began rifling through cabinets, Lhyric called out
over her shoulder, "What are you gonna do, boss?"

"I'm gonna get our Tavern back, my friend." Lhyric's
blood ran cold at the sound of her partner's voice. It was calm, precise
and totally devoid of emotion, and Lhyric hoped to Hades that she
never had to be on the receiving end of that tone. Moments later, the
blonde was rewarded for her encounters with numerous cobwebs and scuttling
critters when her hands closed around a leather bag that clanked mutely as
she removed it from the cubbyhole. Her quiet shout of triumph brought
Iolaus and Grace to the counter where the bouncer was lining up her booty.

"Any luck with the big guy?" Lhyric queried Iolaus as she
passed a jeweled dagger over to her freckled co-owner.

Shaking his head in frustration, Iolaus carried a
matching set of throwing knives to Ryp, who was still guarding the hall.
Coming back over to where his best friend lay motionless, but
apparently unhurt, he felt a wave of uncharacteristic despair wash over him. "I
wish I knew how to get him out of this... this sleeping spell, or
whatever it is. He's usually the brains of the operation."

Her head jerking up suddenly, Grace pierced the hunter
with a sharp gaze, "What did you just say?" But before he could
answer her, Ryp stepped back inside the main room and pressed herself
against the wall. Gripping one of her knives as tightly as she could,
considering her broken finger, she hissed, "Company."
***************

"So, this Sorceress decided to get rid of us, and our
Tavern, in order to bring all of you and your fortress to a world that
wasn't disappearing. Have I got that right?" An incredulous
Lurker Jean scowled at Iolaus3, making him shake beneath his lab
coat.

"Pretty much. I mean, most of us don't approve of it,
but she..." he glanced at Iola Beth and shuddered, "she can be very
*persuasive*." His eyes dropped to the table as he recalled some private
horrors he had suffered at the hands of the evil woman, and when he
spoke again, his voice was soft with sorrow. "I don't want to be part of
her world anymore, not that I ever did. I'll tell you everything I
can, but I'm afraid I don't know how to make things right."

"I just wish there was some way to contact them!" An
exasperated Norcia burst out, voicing the feelings of all present.
Deianerra nodded in agreement, as JediK and sulee paced nervously around the
booth, trying to vent excess energy. Klio opened her mouth, when
suddenly a noise from the trees startled her so badly, she nearly bit her
tongue in half.

All heads swiveled to pinpoint the source of the hideous
screeching, and found SweeneyMime standing next to the magic cabinet,
running her fingernails down the red and black lacquered sides. Once
she saw that she had their attention, she proceeded to pour herself an
imaginary glass of ale and drink it down. Then another, and
another, and another. Summer interrupted the act with an impatient
growl, her demeanor not improved by her blinding headache. "What
will drinking solve?"

"Like we can drink," moaned Lurker Jean, "our Tavern is
gone. The booze is gone with it."

"Well, most of it, anyway," sighed JediK. All eyes pinned
the young amazon. Flinching, she continued, "What? We found a
couple boxes of wine in the stables when we were checking on the horses.
How is that gonna help us?"

Iola Beth eyed the SweeneyMime carefully as the fringes
of an idea began niggling at her brain. "I'm not sure, but I think we're
going to need that wine." With an unspoken communication, Norcia and
Klio headed for the stables to retrieve the precious alcohol, leaving the
rest of the tavern folk staring at the bouncing mime as if she were
their last hope. And knowing she might well be.

**********************

"You can't take them home, the Sorceress will kill us
all!" The professor who looked much like their Ryp, strained at her
bonds vainly. "I don't know who you all think you are, but nobody
defies Iola Beth and lives to tell about it. Nobody." She stopped her
tirade, gasping for breath and looking around, wild-eyed.

Unconsciously, CC's hands clenched into fists and she
started forward, only to be stopped by a gentle hand on her arm. She
looked down at Laurie who stood on tip-toe to whisper frantically into
her ear. After a moment, CC nodded with purpose and strode away,
collecting Rielle, Kade, Khyn, Marissa, Bev and Cait as she went. The group
huddled in a far corner, and hunched over the diagrams Kade and the
others had painstakingly drawn. Ifae, content that situations were
being "handled", used GabrielleTyger to block the Professors
sight of her and caught Harmy's eye. The assistant bouncer circled around
Gary and stopped when she knew she was in the peripheral vision of
their captive. Ifae nodded slightly and knelt in front of the
woman in the lab coat. "So, Professor, will you help us?"

She stared at them incredulously. "Didn't you hear a
word I just said? Iola Beth will kill me. She'll kill all of you. You
just don't cross that woman, or her henchwomen. Grace and Lhyric would
just as soon slice your belly open and play jump rope with your
entrails, as look at you. They're evil, all of them. I can't help you." She
looked at Ifae pleadingly, "I can't, she'll kill me."

The Tavern's resident belly dancer let her eyes drift
slightly toward Harmonia, who was busily honing the edge of a *very*
sharp piece of glass on a stone as she eyed the Professor hungrily. Ifae
lowered her voice conspiratorially, "I'd say Iola Beth's the least of
your problems right now."

Her eyes darting back and forth in fear, the mousy woman
shook her head 'no' and Harmy started forward with a truly menacing grin
on her face. Ifae stilled her with a motion and addressed the captive
again. "My friend here is very... efficient. You're going to tell us
what we need to know," she glanced meaningfully at the wicked blade in
Harmy's hand, "one way or the other."

Iolaus2 looked on in amazement as Ifae and Harmy played
the Professor like a fiddle, using the 'good guard' 'bad guard' routine
perfectly. He listened as the frightened woman told them everything she
knew about what was happening to their world and the powers of their
leader, the terrifying Iola Beth. The questioning seemed to be
winding down and he was about to suggest they move to another part of the
'tavern' where they weren't as likely to be locked in, when Stefka
hissed a warning from the hall. The room fell completely silent, and Gary
thoughtfully crammed a gag into the Professor's mouth, just in case.

Moments later, there were muffled thumps and a few soft curses from the
hallway, followed shortly by quiet words and muted laughter. The
denizens were quivering with anticipation when Sierra ducked in the
door, a scruffy King of Thieves in tow.

He stood for a moment, drinking in the sight of his
friends, as yet unharmed, ready to face whatever the world dared throw at
them. Sucking in a deep breath, he clapped his hands together. "Well,
what are you kids waiting for? We've got a rescue to mount."

***********************
Sweens sat in the corner of her box, arms wrapped around
her knees, rocking back and forth. "There's no place like home,
there's no place like home, there's no place like home..." Cautiously
opening her eyes, the intrepid depantser moaned in disappointment. *It
worked for Dorothy, why not me?*

Iola Beth, this evil bizarro Iola Beth was still hunched
over her mahogany desk, furiously reading her scrolls and
clutching her fiery amulet compulsively to her breast. Sweens had no
idea what the hell was going on, but she would put money on the fact
that the obnoxious red pendant had a big part in it.

Taking a deep breath, the tall redhead reminded herself
that her friends were going to come for her and until then, she just
needed to stay alert. Settling herself more comfortably against the
back wall, she started at the evil sorceress, trying to read her lips as
she muttered to herself.

************************
Summer looked at Iola Beth with pain in her eyes, and
picked up the tarot deck, handing them to the seeress. "Maybe you
should try again... I feel like we're not doing enough," she said softly.

Shaking her head, Iola Beth began shuffling the cards
automatically, then after a moment placed them on the table, untouched.
"No. Not yet. I can't explain it, but there's something almost
malevolent about -." She broke off suddenly as the cards first began to
smoke and then burst into flames, charring to ashes in mere seconds.
Iola Beth sat, horrified, as her deck burnt to cinders, leaving her
nothing. She felt a terrible ache in her chest and it seemed that the rest
of her body went numb. *There goes my chance. I have nothing left
to save them with.*

Breaking the reverie of stunned silence, Klio and Norcia
returned with two boxes of wine and carefully placed them on the ground
next to the booth. "There were three boxes," Norcia began, but was
interrupted by a loud off key voice from behind.

"Ooohhhhhh... there onsh was a woman from Shweden... who
was exshper'enencing -- Oh. Hello Ms.MimePerson. Y'know,
any mime of Shweens is a friend of mime."

Deianerra slumped even further down in her seat as a very
drunk Steph blinked rapidly at a very animated SweeneyMime, who was
cavorting excitedly around the inebriated woman. As the others
stared, Iola Beth concentrated on the mime, trying to decipher her animated
gesticulations. The mute woman kept pointing at Steph,
putting her fingers to her temples, then making around shape with her
arms. The soothsayer was sure that she was trying to tell them
something of utmost importance, but she wasn't grasping the connection.

Frustrated beyond her power of control, Lurker Jean
heaved a sad sigh and reached for a bottle of wine; if she was going to
lose everything that was precious to her, she sure as Hades wasn't going
to do it sober. As she lifted the bottle to her lips, she noticed Summer
looking at her, aghast. "I can't believe you're just going to sit there
and drink when everything is such a mess. How is that going to solve
anything?" Summer let her head drop back into her hands after her mini
tirade and her shoulders slumped as the stressful events of the day
overcame the young woman.

Swallowing her angry retort, the short brunette answered
her tired friend as truthfully as she could. "Sometimes, I find
that alcohol loosens up the pathways in the brain. Y'know? Just a
little bit and your tongue is looser, your can make more intuitive leaps
of logic and you get that warm glow. Too much and you think you're
invincible, your brain makes weird connections and you function on a
completely different level than anyone else." Lurker Jean took another swig
of the wine and looked around thoughtfully. "I'm going for the former,
but I think Steph may have achieved the latter."

Iola Beth started as the SweeneyMime flew to Lurker Jean,
kissed her soundly on both cheeks and then flew, beaming, back to
Steph, who was sitting in the dirt contemplating her navel solemnly.
It really was as if a light bulb goes on in your head,
thought the seeress as she finally "got" what the mime was trying to
tell them. At least she hoped she was right, because otherwise, it was
a ridiculous idea. Walking over to the drunk barfly, Iola Beth
grasped her chin gently and turned her face upward, looking into her eyes.
"My friend, you're going to find our missing companions."

*********************
"It really peeves me to have my purification interrupted
by some mindless chase around the fortress."

"Do you think I liked it any better?" Came the waspish
reply from the voices that floated around the corner an instant before
the evil Lhyric and Grace came into the main room. Immediately, they
realized that their captives were no longer captive, but had somehow
escaped. Before they had even completely entered the room, though, the
attack began.

Ryp dove at the legs of the Evil Lhyric, bringing them
both down in a tangle of limbs and Iolaus swung a 2x4, which connected
neatly with the side of Titan Grace's head with a resounding thunk.
Lhyric rushed to Ryp's aid, swinging a menacing looking sap at her
counterpart's shoulder and grimacing at the resulting crack.

Meanwhile, Iolaus' face lost it's triumphant grin when
Grace shook off the blow to the head with an alarming bellow and rushed
the hunter, scooping him up in a crushing bear hug. He struggled
against her iron grip for a moment and then, mercifully, the tattooed
giant staggered, falling to her knees and releasing him. He somersaulted
away and bounced back to his feet in time to see the evil woman
collapse to the floor and Grace standing behind the fallen woman,
clutching an enormous skillet. As he moved forward, pulling rope from his pouch
to secure her with, she moaned, moving slightly. With an apologetic
glance at the barkeep, Iolaus drew back his foot and kicked the woman
square under the chin, sending her deep into unconsciousness.

Grace turned and saw that not only had Ryp and Lhyric
secured the Evil Lhyric, they already had her unconscious form tied and
gagged. Ryp was busy splinting her own broken finger as the bouncer moved
to take over the watch on the hall. Shaking her head with pride, Grace
silently complimented her efficient staff and promised herself
that she'd do something nice for them when they made it home. If they
made it home.

**********************
Ifae and Auto led their group of denizens quickly through
the fortress. The layout was almost identical to their tavern, with a
few minor differences. Like the dungeon. And the torture
chambers. Shuddering slightly, Ifae signaled for the group to stop and as she
peered around the corner of what would have been the Tavern's back
hallway, she paused with her head cocked to the side. Auto paused too, and
moved silently to the other side of the closed door where the muffled
sounds were coming from. He drew back the bolt on the door and
instantly, two figures came hurtling out, coming to rest with their
backs against the opposite wall. They were crouched in classic fighting
stances and held identical expressions of grim determination on their
otherwise pleasant faces.

"Well," came Laurie's voice from the back of the group of
rescuers, "that's two more I can cross of my list." At this
friendly voice, Mare and Athena finally realized that it was their friends who
were facing them in the dim light of the hallway and nearly collapsed
with relief.

"Where have you guys been?" "What's going on?" Mare and
Athena spoke at the same time, their confusion evident on their faces.

Ifae pulled them aside and briefed them as best she could
while Auto plundered the dark closet, which corresponded to the
bathroom of their tavern, for anything useful. "Ah ha!" Autolycus emerged
from the dark closet clutching a few small crossbows and arrows,
quickly handing them over to CC for distribution to those best suited to carry
them.

Mare rubbed her left hip ruefully, "That must have been
what I was sitting on," she mumbled. Turning to the leader of the
rag-tag band of denizens, she tried to get a grip on her fluctuating
emotions. "What's the plan now, Ifae?"

Considering her group with a flat stare, Ifae nodded
almost grimly, "Now we go find the Tavern. Our Tavern."

At these words,Auto led the gang of determined amazons out the back door and into the
shadows of this world that was slowly disappearing. He felt a glimmer of
almost-hope as they left the fortress behind and headed for the corner
of the clearing, where Auto had spied their Tavern when he crossed over
into this cursed world. Now, if the Tavern wasn't too heavily guarded,
and the other group managed to find the others, and if they folks back
in their world managed to whip up a miracle, they might not end up dead.
As these thoughts bounced around inside his skull, the King of
Thieves tried desperately to ignore another question that had been
burning his brain since he got here. *Where was Sweeneybird?*

**********************
Trying to control the throbbing in her head by thinking
pleasant thoughts, Sweeneybird was up to three hundred and
thirty-six ways to kill the bizarro Iola Beth. She had been studying the
deranged woman for the past two hours and was no closer to escape or
even comprehension than she was when she woke up in this Zeus forsaken box.
Unable to sit still, she leapt to her feet and began to pace the length
of her cage, trying to think of something, *anything* that would help
get her out of this mess.

"It won't work, you know." The voice slithered over
Sweens like a clammy fog as she turned to face the insane Iola Beth.
"My Sweeneybird has been trying to get out for years. She never
succeeded and neither will you."

She stood abruptly and stepped over to the
transparent wall, glaring at her captive audience. "And I certainly hope
that you're not waiting for your "friends" to come for you. Because
you'll be waiting until Hades boils over." She paused thoughtfully, with a
taloned finger to her lips, the madness glinting in her eyes. "Oh,
wait, it already has. Which is why we need to leave this world that the
gods forsook! And which is why you and your friends must be sacrificed
to save us. Survival of the fittest, you know." Turning from the
wall, the sorceress strode to the shelves next to her desk and
removed a few small items, pocketing them deep within the folds of her
voluminous robe.

"Which reminds me," she continued, "I've got some
unfinished business with a few of your friends."

As the woman swept out of the room, Sweens felt her knees
buckle as her mind supplied the gruesome images to match the evil Iola
Beth's words. Closing her eyes, the abused depantser slid to the floor
and sent prayers and pleas to every deity she could think of,
begging them to help her friends. Not that she expected any kind of
answer.

***********************
Steph stared at the soothsayer warily. "So, I'm gonna be
telepathetic - I mean telepithec - I mean... I'm gonna read minds."
Iola Beth nodded and Steph broke into a wide grin, "That is so cool. When
do we start?"

"After you drink another bottle of wine," Norcia
commented, handing the brunette another bottle. Turning to Iola Beth, she cocked
she head to the side and indicated the mime. "So, what does Chatty
Cathy have to do with this?"

The soothsayer beckoned to the mime who looked like their
friendly depantser, "Let me know if I'm wrong," she said to the
mute. "I think that this world they come from is more grounded in magic.
I think that even the mime here has some limited control over magic,
maybe from all the time she's spent with my counterpart." The mime
bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, nodding. "Steph is going to get
lubricated up enough for SweeneyMime to use her as a vessel to contact
our Sweeneybird."

"But, why can't she do that without Steph's help?"
Norcia looked confused and agitated at the thought of putting yet
another of the Tavern folk in danger. "I mean it's telepathy, right?
It's not like she actually has to talk, so why are we putting Steph in
a potentially harmful situation?"

"Because we have no choice. The mime can talk to Sweens,
but there's no way for her to relay that information to us, unless
you're in for a really high stakes game of charades." Iola Beth put an
arm around Norcia's shoulders as comprehension dawned on her
expressive face. "Now, let's do this."

Moments later, SweeneyMime had Steph in a light trance
and was making strange signs in the air with her left index finger,
leaving pale blue wisps of energy hovering between the two women. Around
the two, sat the denizens in a tight circle, with Ifae and Iolaus3 closest
to Steph. After several minutes of intense concentration, the mime
stiffened slightly, clutching the barfly's hands in a desperate
grip. "Oh Sweens...," were the first words Steph gasped out.

***********************
Spitting a mouthful of liquid out, Ryp vigorously scraped
her tongue with her fingernails, as if by ripping off her taste
buds, she could somehow erase the memory of what she had just tasted.
"Gargh..ugh..gleck..."

Iolaus gave her a concerned glance as he carefully folded
the tarpaulin into a Herc-sized sheet. "You okay Ryp?"

"I can't believe they call this... this swill, ale. It's
the worst thing I've ever tasted, even worse than that batch of
swamp drink Grace created last Halloween."

"Hey! It's not my fault that all we had left was blue
curacao, coke and everclear. If you hadn't put all the good liquor in the
punch..." Grace shook a finger admonishingly at the sheriff.

"Yeah, and if Caro and Steph hadn't drank it all, we
wouldn't have been subjected to that hideous concoction of yours. But I'm
not kidding, this junk makes your green stuff from last year taste
like ambrosia." Shaking her head, the lanky sheriff poured her ale down
the drain, watching it corrode the edges of the sink. "No wonder
these broads are so cranky."

"Okay, enough beer tasting for one day, Ryp, get over
here and give us a hand." Grace gestured with her chin at Herc's feet, as
she attempted to roll the unconscious demi-god on his side for Iolaus to
slip the tarp under him. Ryp complied, and soon, the three had
Hercules snugly settled into a makeshift travois. Before they could
congratulate themselves on their clever solution, a soft sound from
Lhyric caused them to take their positions by the door a second time
that day. Ryp, shared a panicked look with Iolaus as they both realized
that from the sounds of the footsteps coming down the hall, they were
seriously outnumbered.

Iolaus2 peeked his head around the doorway, and seeing no
one, he proceeded to enter the room cautiously. The next thing
he knew, he was lying on the ground with a knife to his throat, looking
up at his twin. "Uh, hi. We're here to rescue you."

Suddenly he was on his feet again, being swept into a fierce hug by his brother,
Iolaus, as the stunned groups looked on in shock. Unfortunately, there was no
time for reunions, as all the denizens could feel that time was
growing short. Sierra quickly explained the situation and informed them
of the other group, led by Ifae and Auto, who were trying to reclaim
the Tavern, which was apparently nearby. Lhyric then informed the
others of the evil intent of Iola Beth, as well as they understood it,
and organized the large group into a quiet huddle. "And now," the
bouncer proclaimed, "Grace is going to tell us her plan."

Lhyric looked over at her disheveled boss, who was
staring a little vacantly towards the interior of the fortress with a
small frown on her face. "You do have a plan, right boss?" Lhyric
whispered, sotto voice.

Blue eyes clearing, the barkeep step in front of her
friends and smiled. It was not a particularly nice smile. In fact,
it was a downright nasty smile that said, 'What's a few
decapitated heads and a little torture between enemies?' "We haven't got much
time, so listen up. Kade, Iolaus2, Caro, you three lead the way to the
Tavern, I think that's going to be the safest place. yarbo, Bev, Marissa
and Cait, you guys get to take Herc here." Grace gestured at the
sleeping demi-god, snuggled tight in the travois. "Try to be as gentle as
you can, but be quick. Sierra and Harmy, y'all are with us. We'll be
joining the rest of you at the Tavern as soon as we can, and then we're
all going to go home."

Mmmuffin and Gary stepped forward as the group led by
Kade prepared to leave, shoving a tied and gagged figure in front of them.
"What should we do with her?"

Grace knelt in front of her Sheriff's look alike,
remembering the "session" she had, with Lhyric the evil, courtesy of the
Professor's brain box. "Oh, we'll take care of this one. I have a
feeling she's going to come in very handy." Turning to Ryp, who was
still in shock from seeing her face on someone else, Grace took her by
the shoulder and steered her to a corner. "Look Ryp, I have a plan, but I
need for you to get something for me. Are you up for a little recon
mission?"

Shaking her head in disbelief at the mousy scientist, Ryp
nodded her assent and listened carefully as the boss outlined her
plan. Moments later, Ryp was out the door, dragging the bound Professor
behind her, headed for the woman's laboratory. Lhyric, Sierra, Harmy
and Iolaus gathered at the bar, waiting for the next phase of the
barkeep's plan. Unfortunately, Grace had absolutely no idea how to
accomplish the next phase of her scheme. At their expectant gazes, she
enlightened them. "Now we need to capture Iola Beth."
*********************




**********************
Sweeneybird's head jerked up. She could have sworn that
she just heard Steph's voice. Wearily, she let her head fall back to
her arms, when she heard her again. Seriously doubting her sanity now,
Sweens took careful inventory of the room, noting that she was indeed
alone and concluding that she was, in all likelihood, well on her
way down the road of insanity.
\No you're not.\
Oh crap. Now my voices are answering me.
\I'm not your voice. I'm the Sweeneybird from that world.\
Ooooohhh-kay. Why are you in my head?
\I'm in your world and we established a connection, with Steph's help.\
What did you need Steph for?
\We needed some lubrication, and a translator, but that's not important
right now.\
No kidding. How about you tell me how to get out of this stupid cube trap.
\That's exactly what I'm going to do.\

*********************
Auto would have laughed had the situation been any less
dire for himself and his friends. For all Iola Beth's evil schemes, the
rest of the doubles of this world were remarkably easy to dupe. He
and the others had rigged a large net that Stacey/Meg and GabrielleTyger
had thoughtfully procured from the cellar. Gary had rushed
to the Tavern doors, pounding on them and screaming about the world
falling in the lava. He somehow convinced them that the Tavern was next
to fall into the fiery depths and led them all, like the Pied Piper,
into the waiting trap.

So they had re-taken their Tavern, and not a moment too
soon, as most of the other group had arrived, mere moments later with a
sleeping Hercules in tow. Kade relayed as much information as she knew and
then Ifae organized the denizens to defend the Tavern and
themselves. The time was drawing near for the final confrontation. Soon, the
denizens that were present, had organized a line of defense with the
supplies on hand. Traps were set at all the secondary entrances, and
amazons stood sentry at the windows, waiting for the battle.

The evil sorceress stalked through the bowels of her
fortress, looking for someone to kick. This day was turning out to be much
longer than she had expected. Frankly, she had thought she'd be
resting in her throne, plotting ways to plunder her new world by supper.
And now, she couldn't even find a scurrying underling to kick around.
Life could be so disappointing. Sighing, Iola Beth moved on, passing
the lab and heading for the cellar.

Ryp let out a silent sigh of relief and grabbed her
double by the scruff of the neck, pulling her along at breakneck speed through
the halls. The sheriff had ducked into an alcove, dragging the
Professor and box behind her. As soon as she heard the direction the
terrifying woman was headed in, she knew they were running out of time.
Moments later, she eased the back door open and slid out, her captive
meekly in tow. Ryp approached the Tavern with trepidation, but as she
came close enough for Mare to see her face, the door was flung open and
she was quickly brought into the fold. Checking her captive's bonds,
and removing her gag, Ryp outlined the sketchy plan Grace
had whispered to her before sending her for the brain box.

Pulling the velvet cloak off the oddly shaped box, Ryp
marvelled in fascinated horror at the complexly disturbing machine.
It resembled a squid in a vague sort of way. A translucent, warm squid
with antennae, Ryp decided to herself. She turned to the Professor,
ashamed that a counterpart of herself could make such a demented
instrument. "Explain to me how it works. And no funny stuff, 'cause I'm gonna
test my newfound knowledge on you first."

********************
Iolaus paced a tight circle around Grace and Sierra,
running a hand through his curls distractedly. "I don't like it. We
don't know what this woman is capable of and you want to find her?"

"No, we don't *want* to find her, but it's better that we
find her than she find us." Sierra sighed. "Besides, she's our only
way home." A thumping noise from the closet startled Harmy and Sierra
and caused Grace to groan in exasperation. Iolaus handed her a sap
and the barkeep opened the closet and smartly rapped the Evil Lhyric and
Titan Grace on the head, sending them into oblivion once more. Shutting
the closet door, Grace tossed the sp back to Iolaus and froze at the
incredulous looks on the faces of her assistant bouncer and bartender.

"What?" Rolling her eyes, Grace turned away and shot a
snickering Iolaus a scathing look. "Hey, your doubles could be
bald, too."

"And tattooed?" Harmy looked doubtful.

"And muscle-bound?" Sierra added, skeptically.

"Ha ha. Point taken. My double is a freak. Happy,
now?" Grace tried to control her own snorts of laughter as she thought of
the frightening woman locked in the closet. She fervently hoped that a
name was all they shared in common. Shuddering briefly, she
put her mind back on the task at hand, which was to find that mad
sorceress and get her to send them home. "Come on, let's get out of here and go
find -"

"Me?" a sinister voice interrupted. As one, all heads turned to the
far end of the room where Iola Beth held Lhyric, with an arm
tight around her throat, pulling the shorter woman up so she had to stand on the tips
of her toes to breathe. The sorceress held a small but lethal looking
dagger to Lhyric's rib cage, ensuring the bouncer wouldn't struggle.

Iolaus edged out from the bar, holding his empty hands
wide to the sides. "What do you want from us?"

"What I want is for you to stay put. What is with you
people?" The evil woman shook her head in confusion, tightening her
grip on Lhyric's neck until the blonde's lips turned blue. "All I wanted
was a neat little switch. Bring you idiots here, send me and my
people there and let you all perish as the lava claims this world while we
drink wine and plunder your world. Is that so wrong? Can't everyone
have a dream?"

As Iola Beth prattled on, Lhyric's vision tunneled until
she saw only one thing. A hand. A hand belonging to Sweeneybird, to
more specific. And that hand was clutching a knife and edging out from
under the nearest table, towards Iola Beth's slippered foot.

Grace was watching Lhyric's eyes intently, waiting for
the bouncer to provide them with an opportunity to strike. She followed
her friend's glance and seized the opportunity, vaulting over the bar
and startling Iola Beth into stepping back just a hair towards the
table. Which was all Sweeneybird needed, and with a triumphant cry, the
Tavern depantser plunged the blade through the sorceress' foot and into
the planks of the floor. At the same time, Lhyric drive her elbows into
the captor's ribs and dove forward, somersaulting to the middle of the
room, where she grabbed the closest weapon and attempted to get her
breath back. Iolaus and Grace rushed the pinned sorceress, who was howling
with rage and throwing little bolts of green electricity from her hands.

/Get the pendant./
"Get the pendant off her neck," Sweens cried to Iolaus as
she struggled to get out from under the heavy table, which had
collapsed on her.

Grace faked a grab for the red amulet, then switched
directions and drove a stiff fingered blow to the woman's solar plexus.
As she instinctively curled to protect herself, Iolaus danced
inside her defense and deftly plucked the bauble from her neck. Now
screeching in an apoplectic fit, the sorceress drew up and turned to
Iolaus' retreating back, arching back to deliver a spell when a
strange look crossed her face. A second later, she collapsed in a non
threatening heap, a smiling Sweeneybird standing behind her, a heavy
pewter mug dangling from her hand. "She's not supposed to have
powers without her pendant, but I wasn't willing to take any chances."

Sierra and Harmy quickly tied the evil Iola Beth's hands
and feet, gagging her for good measure, as Grace and Sweens checked
on their favorite bouncer. Lhyric insisted that she was fine, and
was more curious as to how Sweens knew to remove the woman's
amulet. The red headed woman grinned, "Ah, you know, the voices in my
head were telling me what to do, again."

Willing to let this cryptic comment go for now, Lhyric
was about to suggest they get a move on and adjourn to the Tavern when
Iolaus began backing away from the far wall. "Uh... guys? I think
now would be a good time to leave." The blonde hunter turned and
grabbed the captive sorceress, flinging the senseless woman over his shoulder
and racing for the door on the opposite side of the room. After seeing
what Iolaus had seen, the other's were hot on his heels as they raced for
the Tavern. And following their retreat, the sounds of a room slowly
being consumed by fiery lava.

*********************
Iola Beth clutched reflexively at her own pendant as
Steph related the events happening in the other world. So far, she had
been content to sit on the wooden sidewalk with the others, but now she
got the feeling that she was going to have to do something. Soon. The
Iolaus from the other world noted her restlessness, commenting, "It's
going to be over soon. You'll need to bring them back."

"I know." Iola Beth took a few calming breaths and tried
to still her shaking hands, but the next words from Steph's mouth sent
a knife of fear into her heart.

"The mime says you need your cards."

Iola Beth froze. The evil Iola Beth had fried her cards.
They were nothing but a pile of ashes on the table.
Oh gods, here it comes down to crunch time and you fall
short of the mark. She felt her control slipping as she lamented her
friends fate and her part in the whole damnable thing. From far away,
she heard Steph repeat her plea, more urgently this time.

Quietly, Klio mumbled, "Too bad there's only that one
card left. I mean. you can't do anything with just one card, can you?"

Iola Beth's eyes flew open. "Where?"

Klio pointed to the World card, still tucked away in the top of Iola
Beth's gown. The seeress' hands flew to her breast, retriving the
precious card, placing it upside down on the rough boards.

***********************
The doors of the Tavern flew open and Sierra and Harmy
rushed in, beckoning to Ryp. Snatching the brain box and the
Professor, Ryp hurried out the door and knelt in front of the prone
sorceress, fitting the squid shaped device to the woman's head. Grace knelt
next to Ryp and began slapping the evil brunette none too gently,
trying to rouse her.

Behind Ryp and Grace, Lhyric and the rest of the staff
collapsed exhaustedly just inside the Tavern door. Relieved to see
that everything was being taken care of by the resourceful
denizens they relaxed, content in the knowledge that the rest of the
show was out of their hands. Either it was going to work and they'd all
be home in a few minutes, or it wouldn't and they'd perish in a
gruesome blast of fiery heat.

Finally, Iola Beth roused from her stupor, writhing helplessly against the
effects of the brain box. Ryp nodded at the Professor, "Do it."

Biting her lip, the Professor touched a few dials on the
box and nodded back to Ryp who leaned forward and grabbed the sorceress
by her gown. "How can we be sent home?"

"Cards," muttered the woman.

"What cards?"

"The cards in my office..."

All eyes lifted in horror to the fortress which was now
entirely consumed by flame and lava. Lava which was slowly but
steadily encroaching on the Tavern. Pushing herself to her feet,
Sweens reached into the folds of her robe and withdrew a deck of Tarot
cards. Tossing them to Grace, she smiled at the boss' stunned
expression. "The voices told me they might come in handy."

Turning back to the captive, Ryp demanded, "What do we do
with them?"

Before she could answer, a gaping pit appeared beneath
her legs, the ground shifting away to reveal the red, molten core of
this earth. Ryp knocked Grace back and launched herself after as the
ground fell away within mere feet of the front door of their blessed
building. The evil Iola Beth and the hapless Professor disappeared into the
red inferno as the Tavern dwellers hauled their friends to safety.

"Now what?" breathed Sierra.

Lhyric fixed Grace with an iron gaze. "Now we read the cards."

Nervously, Grace looked to Sweens for encouragement.
Sweens cocked her head to the side momentarily, as if listening and then
nodded. "Hurry."

Kneeling on the floor, Grace quickly shuffled the deck
and turned the first card. The Fool.
**************

Iola Beth hardly blinked as Iolaus3 disappeared. She was
intent on Steph, who seemed to be holding the telepathic connection
on her own.
***************
The barkeep held her breath as the sounds of the inferno
raged closer and flipped the next card. The Sun, reversed.

***************
No one moved as the mime vanished from the circle. All
eyes were on Steph as sweat poured off her face, her body a study in
concentration. Iola Beth knelt motionless, one hand on her last tarot
card and the other clutching her pendant, which had begun to thrum
with power. Suddenly, Steph's eyes snapped open. "Now!"
Iola Beth flipped her card and the World shifted.

***************
Grace closed her eyes and flipped the third card. The World shifted.

***************
Slowly, Grace opened her eyes, noting at first that there
was no sound of roaring inferno. Second, she noted that the door was
open and Iola Beth lay on the walkway, partially on top of a protesting
Steph. A million other things assaulted her senses at once. The
sound of the wind in the trees, the smell of rich earth and animals,
the hesitant voices of her friends, her family. The sense of
rightness that had been missing for too long. They were home.

A mild voice from the corner shook everyone from their
respective reveries. "Ummm... could someone untie me and tell me
what in the heck happened?" Iolaus rushed to his best friend's side and
began to remove him from the travois where he had been snugly secured.
"Buddy, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

~~~~~~~End~~~~~~~



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