In-jokes (Collected by Graeme Qewe)
#1
One day in the very near future, George Bush
has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where
the devil is waiting for him.
"I have a dilemma here," says the Devil. "You are
on my list, but I have no room for you, and there's no way I can
let you go".
I'll tell you what I'm going to do for you, Mr. President. I've
got a couple folks down here, who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but only if you take their place. I'll
even let YOU decide, which one leaves."
Bush thought that sounded like a pretty good deal, so the Devil
opens the first door. In there, was Ted Kennedy and a large pool
of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and
over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No, No," George W. says, "I don't think so. I'm
not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day
long."
The devil takes him to the next room. There was Richard Nixon
with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he kept doing,
was swinging a sledge hammer and busting rocks, time, after time,
after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in
constant agony if that's all I did all day", commented
George.
The devil opens a third door. In it, Bush sees Bill Clinton,
lying on the floor with his hands tied over his head, and his
legs bound in a spread eagle position. Bent over him was Monica
Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Bush looked in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can
handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to
go."
(thanks to "Mary Whitehouse" September 5th 2003)
#2
TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F"
WORD WAS APPROPRIATE
1. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?"
- Michelangelo, 1566
2 - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
- Custer, 1877
3 - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
- Picasso, 1926
4 - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
- Einstein, 1938
5 - "What the @#$% was that?"
- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
(thanks to @#$%ing "moonchild" September 6th 2003)
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