The rest of the party were waiting for me outside.

"What're ye looking so happy about?" demanded Ragnald, "Ye're barely a level higher than when ye went in."

"I'm in love." I told him.

"Don't tell me ye met a GIRL in there!"

" You weren't in there for very long." noted Arcus, "You need to work on your endurance."

I blushed.

"Selene isn't that kind of girl."

"A woman who doesn't want your body, Zera? She must be insane." Lola laughed when I blushed even redder. Remember, I was still young and I didn't have a weight problem then either. I was a tall, strapping warrior with soft blonde shoulder-length hair and a beard. My endurance really was high. I also had the advantage of being half level guardian, which gave me a kind of dangerous charm that added to my charisma. Women went weak at the knees when they saw me.

"You can tease me all you want, but I still love her. I'm serious about this. I would even forgo sex for her, if she doesn't want to break her vows."

"What's this?" Ragnald grabbed my leaflet off me; I had been fondling it between my hands. "Hey, what did I tell you about not getting involved with religion? Are you okay, Zera? Did she do something to your brain?"

"I'm not converted, if that's what you're worried about." I kicked him and snatched my leaflet back off him.

"Hey, don't be so harsh with Zera. You didn't warn him about the cute priestesses!" laughed Arcus.

We continued northwards. Snow began to fall, until soon the peaks of the Heim Mountains were covered in a soft white blanket like a holy shroud. The entrance to another small cave was partially obscured by the snow. When Rundorig went to investigate, a tiny, furry brown nose poked out of the cave. Two round eyes flashed momentarily in the darkness. There was a high-pitched squeak and it- whatever it was- ran away.

"Carro." reported the gruff half-kobold, "Pretty rare, they are. Their tail lights up when they're happy. Useful in dungeons."

The conversation had by now gotten off the topic of cute priestesses and my endurance levels. We started talking about cute furry things, a topic Lola was willing to discuss enthusiastically for hours on end. Along with walking in a straight line and levelling up, that took up pretty much all of our remaining journey. We reached the settlement, a small tourist resort that had a really great cafˇ and a camp site. We decided to gather information while Ragnald and Rundorig went off to terrorise shopkeepers in St. Heim. We talked to a few pilgrims who were trying to beat the crowds by going out of season. They mostly talked about religion, however much we tried to stop them. I found out quite a lot about my girlfriend from them.

"If she knew we were making our annual pilgrimage at the wrong time of year..." whispered an old man, "She'd probably burn the place down! Her favourite word is 'purify'. If she says that to you, it's best to run."

I had reached my seventh tankard of ale when Arcus ran in, almost breathless from exhaustion.

"ZERA! There's been a terrible emergency!"

"I know! Selene's the head of the Cathedral Knights, Arcus! She's some kind of rabid zealot who goes around killing people and setting fire to things! I... I don't know what to do..."

"We'll talk about that later. Something very bad has happened. Come to HQ now."

I ran out of the pub, narrowly remembering to pay the bill. Our HQ was a table in front of the camp site. I took my place at the head of the table. Everyone on the party looked nervous.

"We're leaving now." said Lola.

"That's for me as party leader to decide." I reminded her, "Now, what's the problem?"

"The campaign has taken a turn for the worse." said Rundorig.

"I was too late, ye know. Someone's gone and bought the staff." Ragnald shook his head, "It was Selene! She's taken it into the Cathedral!"

"Is she still in there now?"

Ragnald gasped, "Surely ye're no thinkin' o goin' in there after her! She'll purify ye!"

"You're right." I said, "Is our contract void?"

"No, ye've proved ye're a worthy party to join. Ye've done yer job, now I'll do mine."

"You're hired? You swear by the mercenary's oath?"

"Ye don't trust me? Ye wee beggar, callin' me a turncoat." he took a pen from his sleeve, "I'll hae' it down in writin' fer ye then."

I waited until he signed it.

"Okay, your job as a mercenary is to join me on my quest to go in there, get your staff back and give me time to talk a few things over with Selene."

"Ye BASTARD!" he roared, "Ye're goin' to kill us all! Well, ye'd better pay fer my continues!"

"You can have mine." I promised, "And, since we're not going to be able to avoid religion, why don't we go and find the vicar and get our game saved?"