I don't know how long I lay there in total darkness.

My eyes gradually became used to the level of light and I discovered that there were patches of light. Green moss on the black rock gave off a soft glow. A Carro ran past, sniffing for nuts. Its tail glowed faintly. I had a few nuts that Rundorig had given everyone in the party, just in case, so I fed the little animal. It gave a squeak of delight and jumped onto my shoulder, wrapping its squirrel-like tail around the back of my head. Its tail grew very bright and I could now see quite clearly.

I was in a large natural cavern. There were no exits apart from the door, which wouldn't open, and Carro holes, which were too small for a human to fit through. In the middle was a small underground lake, its waters cold and clear as the midnight air. The ceiling was full of stalactites. Every so often, a drop of water landed from the ceiling onto the surface of the lake, forming ripples on the otherwise smooth surface. There was something soothing about this. Eventually, I took a break from searching for exits and sat down beside the calm lake that overwrote time and contemplated my situation.

I thought about the event that was supposed to happen, the one Lola had warned me not to get involved in under any circumstances. Was this cave part of the event? For some reason, that door opened for me. It recognised me- had been waiting for me- even though I was a stranger and knew nothing at all of this region. The door had been trapped after all- an elaborate trap that involved the city, the Cathedral, Selene, the endlessly spun web of cause and effect itself. I had walked straight into the trap. Whatever was about to happen to me was my fault- I went into St. Heim when I was specifically ordered not to. But can a man really help it if he's already fallen in love? I couldn't have known that was going to happen- that I would go into a cave looking for a quick level-up or two and find the girl of my dreams. Maybe it wasn't my fault, then. However, I was still in a mess. Something terrible was about to happen to me. I couldn't imagine what could happen to me in such a serene, beautiful cavern. But my girlfriend was the flipping grand inquisitor, so maybe appearances didn't mean a damn thing any more. I took my hat off my head and stared at it, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. My vision began to blur.

I'd rather get my beard caught in the paper shredder again than repeat what happened next. It hit me, suddenly and fatally, like an assassin's dagger, a whole train of religious experiences, one after the other, a kaleidoscope of epiphany that dragged my consciousness, kicking and screaming, into a whirlpool of white light that scorched my soul. I blacked out from the pain- or at least, I thought I did.

When I opened my eyes again, I wasn't in the cave any more. I was at the entrance. Ragnald was on the floor, unconscious and bleeding. Selene stood over him with a sword, her eyes burning with fanatical zeal. I was screaming at her, ranting in a language I'm not sure that any humans actually still speak. I was using the Look of Valmar and the special mad voice and thumping my staff on the ground. A blazing white aura surrounded me.

Suddenly, a drop of water hit me on the nose and I was plunged back into reality again.

"What the..." I croaked, my voice hoarse from yelling at Selene.

She gave me a look that made the earlier one look like a little old lady selling cookies at the church raffle. She grabbed my hat off me. I wish people wouldn't do that.

"Behold!" she said, placing my hat neatly back on my head "His Holiness Zera Innocentius the Third, the Pope of Granas!"