White Winged Angel
Another brilliant day.
But of
course, most days here in Cyrum are brilliant, why else would so many rich and
wealthy people choose this place as their homes making this the booming
business town on this continent? I stared out from my window, taking in the
view of the awakening harbour city to the fullest. The sounds from the docks of
the early workers mingled with the cries from the seagulls, the smell of fresh
fish, salty water and expensive spices, giving you the perfect combination of a
blooming business city.
Roan could
have been ruling over far worse places than Cyrum, the city was marvellous. Not
being weighted down by any religious boundaries in the past had come to the
Cyrumlean people’s great advantage. The death of the gods had almost been
completely passed on like old news, barely affecting the routines of their
lives. The defeat of Valmar and the death of Granas were in the past for them;
none cared because no one wanted to.
Yes, by the
way, your eyes do read the right thing.
This is my window. Not mine as in my inn room or because of one
of Roan’s favours, but really mine. I bought the small place above a cloth shop
two years ago out of sheer boredom, my reputation as a Geohound had literally
boomed after our little adventure with the two bickering gods so cash hadn’t
been a problem at all. In fact, the stuff was getting to heavy to be carried
around so I dumped it off here in Cyrum as this small apartment. Mind you, it’s
nothing flashy like some romantic would have thought about a god-whacking hero
but a regular place with two rooms, one washroom and a
simple kitchen.
I never
bothered with pricey pieces of furniture either since I seldom was here at all.
Today had been an exception since I arrived from the north just yesterday and
here was as good a sleeping place as anywhere else. I probably won’t be here
long before my feet steer me elsewhere again, once a Geohound always a Geohound
it seems.
I sighed
and looked around in my humble residence, maybe I ought to stay just a bit
longer this time since the place was literally falling apart in my absence.
There seemed to be dust everywhere when I now glanced around, I must have been
too tired to notice yesterday night when I stumbled in and onto the bed.
Oh yeah,
breakfast.
The
cleaning would have to wait, big deal by the way, it was going to be just as
dusty next time I got back as it was now but I needed and wanted to sleep in a
decent room for the time I was staying.
The
backpack and my sword got left behind as I stepped out on the streets; the
tailor who owned the shop below me greeted me hastily as I walked out in my
search for something edible. His oldest
son waved to me in an excited, boyish way when I walked by; I smiled back
smugly and walked on. It wouldn’t surprise me if I got to meet the boy sometime
in the near future hen I was on the roads. The lad was simply not made for
being a simple tailor like his father, he was around
Roan’s age when we first met and literally bursting of youthful restlessness
and travel thirst.
I picked up
a pie, which was still warm from the oven in one of the many bakeries in my
wandering around the large city, savouring the salty taste of fresh fish from
the sea and spicy gravy as I walked on without any particular goal in mind.
Ironically,
my aimless strolling took me to the entrance of the royal palace, which I was
bound to visit during my brief stay anyway. Well, I guess seeing the kid a few
hours earlier wouldn’t be much of a difference. Besides, Roan was always good
company and I wouldn’t be surprised if I found Tio with him in there. The both
of them had been inseparable after a few months together as friends. Roan
needed a friend who was never trying to use his favours as a king, and Tio was
Tio. She was still hooked on her long quest of trying to understand the human
heart and mind, a task that really craved a mentor.
And who was
better fitted for the task than the kind, optimistic boy king of Cyrum?
A small
chuckle escaped my lips at my thoughts, I would have
to make myself a mental reminder of not calling Roan a kid any longer, simply
because he wasn’t. Boys grew into men faster during hard times and Roan had
literally been forced into the king position during the crisis of our era.
And
besides, the palace guards always pulled that stone face on him whenever I
called their king a kid. Did every armoured man in the world have the same bad
sense of humour in common? Sure seemed so.
The palace
was just as magnificent as ever with the soft aristocratic architecture of
white and green marble, the royal flag and banners bursting of colour whenever
one looked and enough water fountains to cause a minor tsunami. The guards had
let me in with a nod of recognition- most of them knew me by my looks in my
earlier visits and those who didn’t were bound to know me by rumours.
I had
barely entered the great hall before the heavy door of oak which lead to the
throne room slammed open and Roan strode out in his formal royal garments. I
considered throwing my idea of stop calling him a kid in the trashcan when I
saw him. That smile of his could melt a glacier if he wanted to- it really felt
like if the room got just a bit brighter when the young king entered it and
made his presence known. All the charming innocence of a child was still plastered
over his slight tanned face, and his blue eyes shone
up like two sapphires on fire when he caught sight of me. His normally unruly
blonde hair was combed perfectly aback and well braided according to the royal
family’s dressing code.
The whole
flashy image of the perfect young king was ruined of course when he threw his
arms around me in a crushing bearhug that messed up his whole attire. I hugged
him in return before pushing him back while still holding him by his slender
shoulders. We looked at each other and laughed- me the fleeting vagrant and him
the ideal king, what a picture we made. I noticed that he had grown a few
inches again, he was now staring me straight aback at me in my eyes without the
need of tilting his head backwards.
“Ryudo! I
haven’t seen you in ages!” I finally got him off that ‘mister’ stuff some time ago, it got too weird after we found out about his royal
blood and status. I smiled back smugly at the seventeen year-old teenager in front of me…wait a second, could kings be teenagers? Nah, who cared?
“So, how’s
the junior king doing? I hear that you’ve got rid of hat squeaking you called
speech before, man it creeped me out.”
Roan
punched me playfully in the arm, sheesh, the kid had been training since I last
seen him. “The process of growth is not
as pleasant for all of us Ryudo, but true, I’m glad myself that my voice
finally made up its mind.” We began to walk back towards the throne room as we
spoke. “How have you been doing? You really should drop by more often here, I and Tio miss you greatly.”
I shrugged
in a nonchalant way as always at his words.
“Don’t like sitting around, I guess.
How’s Tio doing?”
“She is
doing far better than the last time you dropped by, I
hired her as my personal assistant because of her impressive intelligence.
She’s actually the one who’s been administrating the increasing trade between
us and Mareg’s people over those recent eight months.” I gave him a serious
look; he knew what I really meant but seemed hesitant to tell me.
“Roan,
how’s she doing?” His young eyes
suddenly got a very tired look in them as he began to speak again but more
slowly. We had reached his study by now and he invited me to sit down while he
took his usual place behind the large mahogany desk. He rubbed his eyes tiredly
and his smile seemed suddenly less optimistic but a lot more…confused? Now I
was curious and of course concerned, Geohounds do have feelings towards their
friends. “Did something happen?”
“Yes and
no. It’s complicated.”
“We have
our time.”
“Ryudo, I’m
running a country, that’s exactly what I never will have.”
“Well how
am I gonna know if you don’t tell me?”
He sighed
in a way that sounded far too old for his tender age. “Tio has progressed greatly in developing the
human emotions. In fact, I would dare to
say that she shows a lot more empathy than you choose to do sometimes.” I
smiled smugly at his words- had our golden-hearted prodigy developed a sense of
sarcasm? “I believe that Mareg would have been very proud of her.”
“So what’s
wrong? Better than me may not be much by normal standards but it’s a far cry
from how she was a few years ago.” I narrowed my eyebrows; something in my
friend’s behaviour was not right, was it my imagination or was the king of
Cyrum actually blushing?
Uh oh, bad feeling coming this way.
“For your
information, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Tio, she’s wonderful in
everything she does and everyone here loves her.” Roan fiddled with a pencil in
his hands while he spoke, whatever it was it was making him incredible nervous.
I had never seen him this jumpy before. “She… obviously befriended some of the
palace maids and all their gossiping awoke her curiosity about love which is
one of the emotions she hasn’t developed yet…”
Bad feeling
confirmed.
“…and after
a lot of questioning around she decided to come to ask
me. I guess I wasn’t the world’s best mentor in that area.”
“You didn’t
tell her about the stork and the babies did you?”
“Ryudo,
please…”
“Sorry,
couldn’t resist. Go on, I’m listening.”
“Anyway, I
tried my best to explain and she looked really puzzled when I was finished. I
thought that she might have forgotten about it… then one day when I met her in
the halls, she…” Roan now bore the look of the perfect teenaged male, for the
first time discovering the existence of the opposite sex. He seemed so puzzled
and confused that I felt sorry for him, but on the other hand, I went through
it, now it was his turn.
“…she
kissed me!”
Bad feeling
just got worse.
“Did…she
say that she loved you?”
“No, she just
walked away with this weird look in her face.” He seemed to have calmed down a
little now as he rested his head against his hands, leaning forwards against
the desk. “She didn’t seem disgusted at least.”
It took me
my every ounce of willpower to not burst out laughing at his last comment. So
even kings had their periods eh? I didn’t show my amusement though- Roan was a
sensitive person and easily hurt, I liked him too much to do that and I did see
the seriousness in his problem. He looked at me for advice and I felt rather
stupid for not having anything useful to say in the matter.
“Do…you
like her back?”
“I…don’t
know. She’s a great friend and a splendid worker but...”
But you do,
don’t you, Roan? I can see it in all the way from here in your eyes and your
face. Why would you blush so fiercely by only talking about it otherwise?
Heavens forbid, but you do like her, don’t you? The automata
and the king- now that would add to some serious heavy gossiping around this
marble cottage. Actually, I can see it in his whole body. He was restraining himself from it, placing
his duties before his emotions like so many have done before him.
A sudden
chill suddenly shot down my spine in recognition. Like I had
done.
“Roan,
maybe she was just curious. There’s no way to know Tio’s reactions completely
since she is partly mechanical and…”
“…is just
as human as any of us! Ryudo, please, she has proved enough of her humanity to
us, I trust her on her own emotional judgement completely. She is capable of that.”
“I know,
but you understand what I mean. Don’t you?”
“Yes…”
I gave him
a sympathetic look. I had been right about him. Roan was no longer a kid and,
for now, no longer a king. He was a very
confused young man like I myself had been at his age. Strange that I never
noticed him growing during the passing years,-had I even ever treated him as a
child? He had been dealing with international politics and a national crisis at
the age of fourteen and had excelled at the both aspects while I only had
bothered with earning me and Skye enough money for the next meal. He was
confident, strong and utterly brilliant, but for the first time in his life he
seemed completely clueless at what was going on. Who could blame him?
I saw his
emotions dance in his shimmering blue eyes before he regained his self-control
and returned to the Roan like I knew him- like we all knew him. It was Roan the
optimist, the ruler and the boy who looked at me now. I felt shamefully
relieved over that he had gotten himself together, I really couldn’t help him
on that issue and he probably knew too that he was spilling his guts for the
wrong friend. I wasn’t a bit surprised when he chose to change the subject.
“What’ve
you been doing those six months? You’re getting good at erasing your trails when
you’re on the roads.”
“That’s only because the sounds of your so-called ‘spies’ could wake the
dead.”
“They were
messengers, Ryudo.”
“That’s why
I avoid them, I was in no mood to return to Cyrum at
that time.”
“You traveled back to Carbo village again didn’t you?”
I remained
silent- there was no point in bringing that up.
Roan must have sensed my uneasiness, and didn’t push it further than
that. “Did you see Millenia in Liligue?”
Much
better, now that’s a memory I could smile at.
“Yes. Her clothes are selling really well now,
she’s made a fortune on her drawing skills.” Roan chuckled and I raised an
eyebrow in question.
“Pardon me.
Miss Millenia just never struck me as a woman who would pick up a needle and
sew her own clothes. I’m glad she has found a way around that.” He’s right, the
image of Millenia as a tailor was ridiculous but now there were dozens of
tailors who come to her, buying her designs of her daring, aristocratic fashion
sense. Now that’s what I call making gold out of mud. Roan continued to speak.
“I’m not surprised over her choice of occupation thou, a beautiful woman like
her were bound to have a good sense for other people’s appearances.”
“She tried
to force this weird looking suit on me, I looked like
on of your bureaucratic idiots in it.”
“You’re
supposed to look good in it, you rogue.
I don’t think you’re made for those kinds of clothes. You look like a
vagrant in whatever you wear.”
“Watch it
kid, I’m still stronger than you.”
“See?
That’s why.”
A maid
suddenly stepped in through the door which lead to the
throneroom, bowing deeply to both me and Roan, making me squirm with
uneasiness. I never liked it when people bowed to me- I’m no better a human
than they are, and I was a Geohound; we were supposed to be the scum of the
planet. She must have known that she had stepped right into a conversation due
to the apologetic look on her face.
“Your
majesty, the military minister sent me to inform that the inspection is
ready. Your presence would be of much
honour to your knights.”
“Yes, of
course, I will be there shortly. Could you notice my assistant of it too? She
should be in her office now.”
“Yes, your
majesty.”
Well,
seemed that my time with the king was done. I stood up from my place and headed
for the door with him. He looked as confident as ever when he sent the maid
after Tio to accompany him, but the mention of her still triggered some of the
uncertainness I had seen earlier. I had to watch him more closely in the near
future. Roan couldn’t afford to lose Tio, and he was my friend, too. I did a mental note to pass by Cyrum more
often in the following year.
We walked
on in silence when he suddenly turned around and faced me in the Great Hall. I
noticed that no one would hear whatever he was going to say here, due to all
the pouring water- clever kid. He had something important on his mind, his shoulders were tense as he looked me seriously in
my eyes.
“Ryudo, I
want to be honest with you.”
I shrugged
in response and smiled back smugly, formal as ever. “Go ahead,” I said, nonchalantly.
“Why are
you still doing this?”
I faked a
look of puzzlement. “Doing what?”
Roan
frowned at me; there was no way to trick him. I knew what he was meaning and he
knew that I knew. Damn. His voice rose slightly in genuine anger when he spoke.
“Don’t make
this more difficult than it already is, you know what I mean.” I sighed and
leaned back against the marble wall.
Not this
again, I can face anything but this, please…
“You made
your choice didn’t you?”
“Yes…I
did.” An uncomfortable feeling of dread was spreading though me as he spoke, it
wasn’t his fault but I still wanted to shut him up for triggering it. The cold
weight in my stomach grew and I began to sweat.
“Millenia
accepted it and went on with her life after you told her, why are you still
hesitating about it?” I didn’t want to hear about it. Millenia had been broken
hearted, yes, but she healed over time and got over it like she always did. Her
spirit had been somehow wounded but she had refused to admit her defeat. She
had cried when I told her but had let me go with a last kiss before shoving me
out from her house. That had been three years ago and we had managed to heal
our relationship somewhat to a standing friendship.
I still
loved her, but not enough to keep her. Neither of us wanted to forget the
other.
Roan was
angry now. He probably had wanted me to hear this for ages but always kept it
inside, afraid to offend or hurt me. Now he was grown and he wasn’t about to
hold it back any longer as a man. I stared off into his eyes, not really seeing
him as my emotions made big loops in me. He continued to speak, scold, yell,
whatever.
“Why are you running away from her?!”
Please, no.
Don’t speak that name, I beg you… My world was faltering. The pain must have shown
in my eyes, he opened his mouth for another angry shout but stopped himself
halfway. I hated pity but this I could tolerate since it came from Roan. I
noticed that I was shaking at his words mercy. Gritting my teeth, I drew a long
relaxing breath and swallowed, hard. The urge to hit him straight over his
pretty face dissolved as I slowly regained my composure in front of him. Damn
you Roan, damn you for knowing me so well.
“I…have to
leave.” With that, I started to leave the room. A look of panic came over him
as he grabbed my left shoulder and spun me around to face him. We stared at
each other, two young confused young men looking for our lives’ definite
answers. One a king,
the other a rogue. There was something in his eyes, and in other
circumstances I might have thought that he had came up
with a brilliant idea or something but it seemed too unlikely in these
circumstances.
“Pardon my
rudeness, Ryudo, but you’re a strange man.” I pulled his hand off my shoulder
and gave him a reassuring smile. It took
a lot more than that to offend me. “Stay at least another day. The fair starts
tomorrow and I’m sure that Tio had like to see you
too.”
I nodded
and strode off. He must have thought
that I didn’t hear his last words as I stepped outside into the courtyard, but
I did, and he is right. I am a fool.
A fool running from a goddess.
***********
I turned up
at the fair as I promised. I had spent the rest of yesterday in my apartment,
cleaning up the place best I could. I was quite impressed by the result I had
managed, it had been a lot more pleasant to stay there the second night than
the first one. No dust, no spider webs,
and everything smelled so…nice.
It was just
that it had been utterly pointless since I was leaving today. I stood at the
large square where all the small shops were crammed together like
mushrooms. Some acrobats from some
theatre group were setting up their stage on the other side for today’s
performance. I had to wait for Roan and
Tio to come. I would fulfil my promise
of spending a day at the fair with them and then leave. There was nothing in
Cyrum to hold me down now other than a clean apartment.
I was still
angry with Roan for bringing up the subject but I had to admit that he was
right. I was pathetic. Our gang had separated shortly after our mission, each
one having their own affairs to attend to. I had left them to bury and hide the
Granasaber. No one would ever have to
use that blade again so I made sure that the weapon was well hidden. That task
had taken shorter than half a year. I travelled a lot faster on my own and took
risky shortcuts instead of the roads so it had all taken less time than I
thought it would.
Suddenly, I
had realized that I had nothing to do. I had a lot of cash in stock and no one
had picked me up for a mission on my way. This had left me no choice but to
face the biggest decision of my then-seventeen years of life.
Millenia or Elena.
Whoever
that said that women are difficult was a very wise man.
Two women who loved me more than their own fundamental beliefs. Equally
beautiful, equally bright. Millenia is the most spectacular one of them,
mood swings and pout scenes making her hard to be around, but at the same time
impossible to resist. Her frequent tantrums are unlike what many think. It’s not that she is deliberately mean and
bitchy. It’s her way to show other
people her concerns, her emotions. No
one had bothered with her before or showed her any feelings as the Wings of
Valmar. She had loved me simply because
I had cared.
Elena, on
the other hand, is her opposite- compassionate to the edge of idiocy, kind and
pure. She had been a sheltered princess with love enough to embrace the whole
world. I have lost count of how many
times she has scolded me for my lack of empathy during our journeys, and how
many times her impulsive compassion has saved the lives of other people. Her love for music and her belief in
everything that is good made her a perfect candidate as a Voice of Granas. I
never understood why Elena fell in love with me. I sure as hell didn’t deserve
to stand by her ideals, but she stood by mine, against all her religious
beliefs.
How could
one man love two women who were so unlike each other, like them?
I shook my
head and rested my body weight against my blade. I had spent a lot of my
sudden-found free time to ponder over the issue. My final decision had actually
been made the same day as that fateful day, three years ago, when I had stepped
into Liligue, still as doubtful as a year prior, and met up with Millenia in
the streets. She had been just as heartcrushing, beautiful and sexy as
ever. I had to perform some serious mindcontrol on myself to not drool over her
in those self-designed, highly-challenging clothes she was wearing. Valmar had
sure known how to pick his servants.
She had
given me the scolding of my life for being away for so long and followed that
up with doting on me like a worried mother. I think she knew that I had chosen
Elena before even I did. Call it female
intuition if you want. She had just ushered me to silence with that last kiss
we shared when I had desperately tried to explain, crying and teasing me at the
same time of what I would miss out on with my choice.
She had
pushed me out after that, letting me go but never admitting defeat.
I didn’t
return to Liligue for another year after that.
The square
was getting crowded by now. Still no sight of Tio and Roan. I waved off another passing
merchant who tried to sell some kind of miracle herb to me for a suspiciously
low price. A gang of young knights passed by and laughed loudly at a joke one
of them was telling. I never did like crowds- they are too noisy, and too many
people in the same place tends to work as quite a
thief magnet.
Where was
I?
Oh yeah,
breaking a woman’s heart. Trust me, don’t
try it, especially not when you love her.
I had
steered my steps towards
The trip
didn’t take longer than a few days, and I was finally standing by the village
port. I was ready to face her and my own
future when the ground seemed to give away under me. I was paralyzed before the
possibility of being with her forever. It suddenly felt like I was
suffocating. All my past possibilities
turned into one long road with the girl who was waiting for me within the
village walls. I couldn’t move an inch while I stood there, simply staring at
the small village in front of me as if it were a deathtrap.
I couldn’t
stand it.
It scared
the shit out of me so I turned and ran away. I remember that I heard a faint
voice singing the Hymn to Granas as I sprinted southwards, through the darkness
of the night. It could have been my imagination but I didn’t dare to stop and
check, because I knew that if I did so, I would be trapped there forever.
I ran for
weeks, directly from Carbo towards Cyrum. I barely remember how that journey
went. I simply didn’t care in my quest
to escape Elena’s love in Carbo. Roan received a slightly shaken version of
everything that had happened when I arrived in the harbour city. I didn’t stay long to brief the young king,
however, as I caught the first available ship heading across the ocean- never
giving any of them a word of where I was going. Frankly, I didn’t know myself.
After that,
I simply couldn’t bring myself to go to her again. My shame and my pride
wouldn’t let me do that.
To make a
long story short, I have been running in three years now, still not entirely
sure of what I am running from. Elena?
No, I love her. The possibility of being tied down for good? Maybe. I simply
don’t know. Roan told me later when I had gotten back that Elena had joined a
travelling entertainment group as a minstrel.
She had probably grown tired of waiting for me to turn up after two
years. I don’t blame her.
Roan’s right. I am a strange man. A
strange, foolish, and pathetic man.
A light
hand tapped me on my shoulder and I spun around, coming face to face with a
pair of familiar yellow eyes. She seemed a little hesitant at first but after
much consideration gave me a real smile, a gesture I had thought her incapable
of. Holy cats, no wonder Roan was getting nervous around her. Tio sure could
smile when she wanted to, and it suited her well. Very well.
“Greetings Ryudo. Long time no see.” The
monotonous, slight mechanical tune of her voice had changed too. It still sounded quite dull for the average
person, but despite its softness, I could actually hear some joy in it.
“Hey Tio. Yeah, I’ve been missing for a while, eh?”
“Truly, we
were worried.” I noticed that she had changed her old set of clothes for more
formal attire, sewn to fit the rank of the king’s personal assistant without
being too flashy. Her peaceful face of eternal youth lit up as Roan finally got
rid of his guards and joined us. He seemed relieved to see me here, probably
because he was afraid that he had driven me away with his harsh words.
“I’m glad
you came Ryudo, there can never be too many friends
together at a festive occasion like this.”
“Of course,
especially when it’s you, kid. Think
your reputation is enough to get us free drinks?”
He gave me
a mock sour look as he purchased three fruit juices for us. Tio looked a little
puzzled at my joke but smiled up again when Roan handed her the drink, turning
the young king to a blonde tomato in a matter of seconds.
“Will you
stay for the performance? I heard that this theatre group is quite good.”
“Sure, my
boat isn’t leaving until
“I believe
you will enjoy the play Ryudo.” Tio tilted her head and looked at me with that
strange questioning expression which characterized her. I shrugged in response.
“We should
get our places, it’s starting in a few minutes.”
Roan and
Tio excused themselves as they took off towards their official seats on the
other side of the square, surrounded with guards and ministers on their
way. Poor kids.
I took a place in the far back. Not
knowing the length of the play and having a boat to catch in two hours was one
reason for that, but it also meant I could balk out if the play was a bore.
Everybody
applauded as the curtains went up and the play started. Two acrobats dressed in
to human imagination impossible suits entered the scene and performed an
athletic battle dance while the choir exploded into a deafening chorus. Granas
and Valmar, oh boy…they never tired of that story did they?
My
suspicions were right- the play was a dead bore. The rest of the audience
seemed to enjoy it, though, as the theatre group performed the tale of a young
hero in the ancient war between the gods and their people. The young knight who
fought on Granas’s side falls in love with a fair maiden of the enemy’s people,
the rest followed in a tragic love story that made me want to ram the
Granasaber through the hero’s puny little head for being such a lousy sap.
The audience
applauded every time the guy who played the hero raised his very fake sword to
kill another of Valmar’s legions. Whistles and cries of encouragement rang
through the air as the hero won another glorious battle for his god.
That’s it,
I’m leaving. Whoever it was that tipped Roan and Tio to see the play could
shove it right up his. I’m gone. I looked around for my belongings and bent
down to pick up my bag and sword. Another wave of applause and shouts rang in
the air and around me. By some of the
others’ comments it seemed that the fake maiden had entered the scene. I
glanced up and caught a quick look at her; she seemed to be quite a looker
judging from the encouragements she was given by the male audience. Yup, mostly
legs, pale and slender. She was dressed in a white and blue dress that
practically screamed innocence.
I hauled up
my bag and fastened my sword, time to get out of here.
The girl on
the scene had started to dance as I began to turn my back to her and tried to
push myself out from the seated audience, which was a task easier said than
done. Her untied blonde hair swirled in the salty sea breeze. I smiled as I thought of the soft waves and
fresh wind which would soon accompany me across the ocean again, like so many
times before. It was rude of me to walk away without saying good bye to Roan
and Tio- they were great friends and showed genuine concern about my
well-being. But, my boat was setting its
sail, and I couldn’t wait for them, even if it meant that I wouldn’t see them
for another six months or more.
I reached
the end of the square where the few unlucky ones who had been without seats
stood and were looking on, leaning on whatever they could find to keep the
fatigue out of their bones. Everyone suddenly fell silent and stared at the
podium, holding their breaths in dramatic expectation. Oh yeah, the woman was going to sing. Couldn’t have a maiden without a love song
for the hero, right? I snorted.
She did,
and my world shattered.
That voice
I would recognize anywhere, anytime, anyplace. The one and only voice I would
recognize in hell and heaven, where nothingness now ruled. Her soft, searching
tunes flowed over the astonished audience like a small bird on feathered wings.
The sound of it created a vacuum of beauty around the listeners, giving the
promise of happiness, purity and peace. Nothing in this world could resist the
beauty of her voice. It could sound like the chirp of a newborn bird but also
harbour the strength of an eagle’s cry. Her whispers were like water droplets against
a spider web, but it was the same voice that controlled the powers of deadly
elements, powerful enough to bring down a god.
The one and only voice which could bend me to my knees.
The one and
only voice I adored and feared.
My
petrified figure was drawing curious glances from some of the onlookers by now.
I was shivering… no, wrong, I was trembling, gasping for air like if I were in
great pain. Her beautiful, ethereal voice called out from the scene, sailing
across the square and impaling me violently, like stabbing arrows.
I dared not
look back. My world seemed frozen in
that eternal moment of bittersweet pain as I heard the angel’s voice call me
with her song and I was helpless at her mercy.
I wanted to close my eyes and howl in despair, running away from this
beautiful angel who seemed to summon me with her song, but my feet wouldn’t
move.
Roan, you little bastard. You
knew this didn’t you? You set me up.
I shut my
eyes so hard that they hurt, trying to block out the dancing images before
them. I was breathing so rapidly now that I was getting dizzy. The pain wouldn’t leave. Someone beside me
asked if I was okay but I ignored him. Throwing my head back like a lunatic, I
freed my tears. The salty droplets flowed like small rivers down my chin as I
took in a deep breath and restrained an ecstatic cry of joy and pain.
She was
killing me. Her voice was ending my long
escape from what perhaps was fate after all.
God I loved
this. It hurt, it ridiculed me, but I
loved every ounce of the emotional ecstasy. I swam in the dread of being near
her, the joy of finding her and the pain of seeing her. I drank in mouthfuls of
the deep, burning feeling of desire which I felt upon feeling her presence and
hearing her voice.
God I loved
her.
I suddenly
felt Roan’s intense, burning gaze on the back of my neck like a hot dagger. I
spun around and looked at my betrayer, but I was unable to find the strength to
hate him because I enjoyed this far too much.
But what I did find out was that turning around had been a fatal
mistake. My treacherous eyes,
unavoidable, made contact with hers
too.
She was
like an angel.
She sang
and spread her arms to embrace her audience, throwing her white cloak back as
if she had sprouted a pair of wings. Her golden blonde hair flowed in her quick
motions, forming a Gloria around her beautiful, soft face that was crowned and
perfected by her pair of warm, maroon eyes. Her eyes were the portals to her
very being- you only had to look into them to understand.
She loved
the world and I loved her.
A faint
sound of restrained desire escaped my lips as I watched her beautiful figure
perform the dance to the tunes of her own voice. Her part was coming to an end
as her tune slowed down and her steps quickened the pace even more. I watched
her, Roan watched me. Damn him.
I was
witnessing a goddess.
My lungs
were screaming for more air as I bled to the sight of her spinning around one
last time before raising her hands in a finishing posture. Her dress swirled and clung to her like a
whirlwind at her sudden stop and her voice rose in an octave, increasing in
strength. The audience’s applause drowned in the power of her voice.
Her eyes
swept over the crowd before her and I felt the physical world slip away as her
eyes stopped at the sight of me.
I trembled,
I cried, I wanted to worship her as a divinity and devour her in desire.
The joy of
a thousand would have not been comparable to the emotions I saw in her tender
face. The kindness and love to last a whole world was staring at me through the
eyes of this single woman. In her smile, the world was mine to take.
Her eyes
didn’t leave me as she finished the last tunes in her song, she sang to me and
me alone. Her voice rose with another octave in the song’s finishing touch as
she lifted the white cloak over her slender shoulders behind her, giving the
inspiration to the vision of a soaring angel rising towards the heavens in a
chorus of love and joy. I cried out in my mix of pain and ecstasy as the town
square exploded with cheers. My mind seemed to go blank as she floated towards
me, reaching for my trembling hands as she carried me upwards on invisible
wings.
Her voice
left an echo of ringing laughter as she rose and I soared with her.
Me, and
my white-winged angel.
***********
It’s really
weird to think that for less than eight hours ago, my life was fairly
uncomplicated. I had no contracts, no duties and absolutely no responsibility
over anything or anyone but myself. Seven years of life as a vagrant since I
was fourteen has probably made me more of a lone wolf than I really wanted to
admit. I never had to take care of anything but my own survival, which was a
pretty basic thing really, food which I could hunt and a tent to sleep in,
nothing more fancy. My responsibility had been to keep me and Skye alive,
nothing more.
Duties were
never my thing either, not even when I lived on Garlan. I remember Melfice
would often scold me for not taking my watch seriously enough. Sure, I have a
very strict moral about honouring the duties I owed my customers but that were
pure business. I never wanted anyone else’s problem and made sure that I didn’t
cause any either. Life was much simpler that way.
Contracts
were a complete different matter, however.
They were necessary to make sure that both parts kept their ends of a
deal, to make sure that both parts got what they wanted and to avoid feuds. I
have entered two long terms contracts in my whole life. The first one had been
to defend a village from a band of bandits roaming in their area. That had taken me a good three weeks and the
gold I got wasn’t worth half of it. The second one had been to escort a certain
sheltered church princess to a sealing ceremony which turned out to become a
lot more complicated than I could ever have planned.
I sure as
hell never had any god-whacking ideas when I first arrived in Carbo.
For the
first time, my bed felt more comfortable than the ground. I’d purchased it in a second-rate shop for
cheap furniture. I usually find the silence in towns during the night strangely
haunting since nightfall is not a quiet time at all despite what many think.
There are always squeaks, chirps, and other sounds when you are sleeping out in
nature, proof that the forest is alive and on its guard. The silence of the
city always reminded me of a cemetery, for some reason.
The moon
was staring at me from my window when I opened my eyes groggily from my
dreamless rest, giving my plain room a dreamy, surrealistic look in its silver
light. My body was completely at rest under the warm covers. I didn’t want to
move a muscle, and I don’t think that I ever wanted to move again. My mind
remained stupidly blank until I realised the feeling of another body pressed
against mine. Blood began to pound in my
ears at the very thought. Her body.
I looked
down at her while she slept on, resting her head against my chest and cradling
me in her arms. Her skin became almost white under the faint light from the
moon. No, not the
moon. Not the moon and never
again. I tossled my hand into her soft,
golden hair and let out a deep breath of relief for her still being here, being
with me. Savouring the mixed
feelings of emptiness and joy within, I gazed down at her sleeping angelic
face. Where the dread had been, there was only emptiness. I felt clean and rid
of the pain that had tortured and tainted me for so long. I was finally at
peace.
My own hair
was still damp with sweat and I could feel the tiny goosebumps
on her arms where the night’s chill had touched her sensitive skin. My mind replayed the night’s events before my
eyes again, I grinned. Okay, I didn’t feel clean, I felt fucking glorious.
Maybe my four years of running and non-existential way of living had been for
some good after all. I had gotten to see Elena as a woman tonight. Not the
kind, stubborn but unsure princess I had known when I left to bury the
Granasaber, but as an independent and proud woman. She had grown as a person
while I had been running from her. Being
a minstrel had taught her more about life on the road than I ever could have.
In some way, the pure, innocent person who had been Elena, Voice of Granas had
been lost during our four years of separation. I felt little sorrow over the
loss, however, as I held Elena the Minstrel in my arms.
Maybe we
really needed that time apart to let ourselves grow and understand. I thanked
fate for bringing us back together again, no longer bumbling teenagers, but me
as a man and she as a woman to rediscover the invisible bonds that we shared.
She mumbled
something in her sleep and frowned, probably sensing that I was awake. I
shifted our positions to make her more comfortable, laying her down beside me
in the narrow bed, never letting go of her small figure. She sighed and tucked
her head under my cheek, throwing an arm around me and going happily back to
her precious sleep. I pulled the covers tighter around us and planted a light
kiss on her forehead, wishing her sweet dreams while I caught a last look
around my room, taking notice of our clothes lying discarded all over the place.
That meant
more cleaning in the morning, but I believe we should be able to handle it. A
smug smile crept on my face as I went back to sleep, joining my divine beauty
in her dreams.
I wonder what she would say if I started a new religion?