In what seems to be a typical case of mistaken identitiy, the house (and alledged secret dojo) of "Kei", an eccentric guy who was described by those close to him as "too much into computers", was taken by force by memebers of an organisation known as the CIA.
"He needs to get out of the house more often and mix with people anyhow", said his mother, apparently unconcerned. "All he does is stay up late on that computer... I don't know why I bought it f-- wait, no, that's the one he bought... well, whatever."
"Oh, Kei's been kidnapped?" said his sister, "No wonder he didn't show up for breakfast. I thought he was just sleeping in late. As usual."
Picture recently released by keinappers shows him being tortured viciously.
"Are you sure he was kidnapped?" said an (obviously) ill-educated youth found on the Caddle/King** premesis, "I mean, last time I checked, I was still in my room".
Disregarding that comment, which I must say in my unbiased opinion, was totally unintelligible, and clearly a mark of mental diress, it is clear from the overwhelming evidence that his family is extremely distressed by his untimely disappeance.
Why was Kei taken, though? What could anyone want to do with such a reclusive, pseudo-nomadic character?
Allegations have been levelled against Rohan, a notorious ledgend, wanted by the police for crimes against nature, mail fraud, conspiracy to corrupt, lack of antimatter, and too high meat to starch ratio, was being saught for questioning, but, since this is neighter a murder nor a homicide, the police refuse to work on this case any more for this week.
"We have the right to fair compensation for our efforts, not this [censored] [censored] of [censored]," said a low-ranking person who seemed to be police-like in nature.
"[censored] [censored] right!" said a nearby boa constrictor *.
I could give you somewhere to go, but I don't feel like it.
* Everyone knows that boa constrictors do not talk in human-intelligible language. However, the reporter might not be human, so don't discount him as being an idiot because of that. No, he is clearly an idiot for numerous other reasons.
** My grandmother claims that her last name should have been King.