Do you have the latest version? This phile was last updated on or around 16 September, 1997.

Note : This document represents a work-in-progress and is far from complete. The information presented herein is subject to regular updates as we more precisely define the Kolij vernacular. Several minor errors have already been found, but as time progresses this document should become more complete and accurate.

Surprise! Newly re-vamped for easier printing, this Koncordance is back and in full effect... Respect due to Super Grover, and Word to Big Bird.

Definitions

Alpha n. 1. Street Fighter Alpha. Hence Alpha 2. 2. standard of dramatic real-time fighting by which other such games are referenced (Killer Instinct's Supers look almost as good as Alpha.)

alternatively [adjective] adv. 1. of person or thing who goes against convention , often to his own detriment (The illiterate boy is proud of being alternatively schooled. ; Catholics have alternate views of Christianity.) 2. word used to qualify an action which would otherwise be described as incomprehensible , wasteful , roundabout , or downright stupid. (I choose to alternatively spell files as philez.)

batty n. buttocks, esp. of attractive female. balance de batty v. to maintain an approximately constant relationship between one's center of rotation and that of another while the other is pooching back upon the one.

bigg up (official) big up (slang) v. 1. to publically recognize achievements 2. to publically exalt , esp. with exclamations of  "Pi!"

block v. 1. to obstruct the implementation of another's plans,esp. as relates to the opposite sex (not a problem for hard S.O.P.s) 2. to quarrel,esp. for an extended period,esp. about trivial methods. ( My wife blocked about me leaving up the toilet seat )

bobble 1. (archaic.replaced by flex) v.  to mobalise bobble from to vacate the current area for a better altenative ( Let's bobble home now. ) 2. n. hairpiece worn by females, typically consisting of two spheres connected by an elastic doflicky.

bonk 1.n. sound made by hollow collision,esp. involving a peer's head 2.a. ugly, repulsive, misshapen, having no attractive features whatsoever.
 

bracks n. 1. sound made by fallen objects as they impact a solid object,such as a concrete floor 2. exclaimation used to express excitement, amusement, or pleasure , such as one vising thrillz. Hence bracksish, bracksism, bracksismage, bracks -age -ism , etc.

clash v. 1. to conflict with another. see block 2. to participate in a friendly contest against another group or person,esp. between two groups of DJs. Hence sound clash and to have a [sound] clash.

disgruntle v. 1. to depress, discourage, dishearten, esp. with malice. 2. to cause a severe drop in countenance. Hence disgruntled.

flex v. 1. to mobilise,esp. away from the scene of fraudulent behaviour, in an unhurried yet motivated manner 2. to make motions so as to attract attention, esp. of females advertising themselves

fraud n & 1. travesty, scam, fallacy 2. a person possessing no benevolent attributes;  given to malice; unable to show kindness , consideration , or sympathy. Often detected by women's intuition and parliamentarians fraudulent.

granite n. & a. unyieldingness; ability to succeed despite considerable obstacles ( Despite never having played basketball, John showed granite as he scored the tie-breaking free throw.). Hence granitor.

granitor a. one possessing a resolute attitude, tending towards militant behavior in order to achieve a specific personal goal.

grease v. to deny another of success or esp.. by malicious means. (I thought I would pass the Mathematics test , but my teach greased me and made all the questions about second order differential equations.) Hence greasy. ~ down 1. to grease with militant , extreme malice , disregarding all sense of fairness. 2. to prepare for 1.

hard a. 1. extremely competent , able to consistently apply oneself in a granite manner. 2. [esp. of  fashion] well attired, impressive, attractive ( Keinall's Web page looks hard.) hard faced unattractive, having a face which displeases the eye to hit hard to impress those who experience the subject in question immemsely.

horn v. 1. to take possesion of another person's mate,esp. by underhanded means. 2. to temporarily borrow the mate of another,esp. for carnal pleasures.

is used in place of are when the subject is metaphorically compared to a plural object. ( I is men ; We is men ;  We are smart )

ism n. 1. folly, folishness, fradulent behaviour , unfit for human consumption , illogical , worthless  2. used in retrospect to describe the fruits of a spasm,esp. on involving a fradulent skopegg 3. fruits of a simultaneous spasm by a group 4. incorrect or worthless response to a query or request for advice  bare ism ism created with deliberate malice, other than by means of an spasm, for the purpose of confusing unwary persons. ( Our physics teacher told us bare ism about the world being flat )

ITS n. 1. acronym for Information Technology Specialist 2. politically-correct synonym for hacker 3. member of a top-secret branch of the alumni society of light, rumoured to exist but never proven to be a reality.

interface 1. v. to communicate meaningful information , esp. between persons or things with obvious differences (I interfaced my Commodore 64 to my Pentium , and uploaded my old diary from my 64) Hence n. interface 2. n. device used to allow two different persons or things to communicate.

izeyafahr ( i-is-yuh-fahr ) <<I am your father >>. Derog. reference to victim's lineage.

Kolij n. abbr. for Harrison College, the most prestigious  school of secondary and tertiary education

Kolijian ( official), collegian (slang) one who attends or has attended Kolij

koncordance n. a pseudo-official dictionary , concordance , thesaurus, or extract thereof, which details the meanings of vernacular common to Kolij students , in particular the graduating class of 1997.

kool a. 1. stronger version of cool 2.see safe, level.

labba labba n. 1. digression from the matter at hand 2. use of unnecessarily long and convoluted terms , esp. when time is limited. 3. use of redundant processes, with no attempts at efficiency. opp. short pooch no ~  statement used to express a businesslike attitude. see also long talk

Lady n.1. female who has gained the respect of menz.  2. female associated with a Lord (Where is your Lady today?) Hence milady. old ~ (polite) mother ~ Saw 1. female lamenting on her lack of male companionship 2. female expressing her desires for male companionship and/or sexual intercourse 3. both 1 and 2 (1 +2=3. duh!)

Lady [nickname] title used to show respect and esteem for a female

lag  v. 1. to refuse to take adequate advantage of any opportunity, esp. in respect of amorous activities. n. 2. act of lagging 3. pause between an occurrence and a response ( There is a 20 second lag on EFnet)

lapse see lag
 

Lord n. 1. The Lord Jesus Christ , Son of the Most High , creator of Heaven and Earth. 2. vain reference to deity in times of extreme peril. Kolijians prefer not to use the Lord's name in vain due to their Christian-like disposition , and generally use "Good gosh!" and "Ras!" instead.

Lord [nickname] 1. title used to honor a peer and show one's respect for his achievements. 2. title used to express one's resolute character 3. title used to emphasize a certain prevalent aspect of one's character (Lord Granitor, Lord Drifter, Lord Pennegan) see also Lady.

men, De | Dem  (bajan) n. 1. any group of males (I see de men flex just before de explosion) 2. a group of males formed to achieve a particular goal  (The men ready to tick down some Alpha) 3. adj. used exclamation to emphasize the achievement of one or more persons. male. (Upon beating Birdie at Level 8 , Keinall was told that he was men.) nuff men adj. stronger version of men 3. (We perfected M.Bison! We is nuff men!)

menz, De (bajan) mens , The (Int'l) n. established group of males , usually small in number , with a closed membership

mil 1. abbr. of militant 2. having an air of quality (Your Web Page looks very mil.)

militant a. & n. 1. aggressively active, as one fighting for one's life, with disregard for all of the following: society, friends, family, bedfellows, local customs, legal system, conscience.

misspellation n. 1. an accidental occurrence of non-convential spelling , esp. within an important document ( I made some serious misspelations in that History essay ) 2. an intentional departure from conventional spelling 3. a conformation to universally accepted spelling conventions , neglecting the alternative conventions of Kolij. ( I go to school at College) Hence misspellism.

nuff adj. 1. abbr. of enough 2. a large quantity ( We made nuff money from the dinner ) 3. a high quality

phile alternative spelling of file.
 

pi 1. loud, passionate vocal exclamation of astonishment, pleasure, usually at the expense of a group of persons.

pooch v. & n. buttocks (not derogative) ~backward v. to vigorously rotate,oscillate,and otherwise mobilize one's pooch,esp. to music featuring strong,deep rhythmic bass. ~forward v. to proceed to engage in some activity as opposed to another (I ca'an talk now,I 'bout to pooch forward to get some food.) screw pooch a. & n. 1. person with fallen contenance 2. disgruntled, angered, or greased person 3. serious expression, despite thrillzy goings-on. to hold a screw pooch to exhibiit a fallen countenance short pooch 1. condensed information 2. efficient process 3. used to emphasize lack of lag 4. used to  emphasize militant attitude ( I beat Akuma three rounds straight...no labba labba , pooch only!)

pus singular of pi. ( octopus , octopi ) not to be confused with inflammatory ozings. Due to public misconstrument of this exclamation, pi is used in its place.

scruffy  adv. used to emphasize harm or disgrace (Akuma beat me so scruffy!) to look scruffy v. to appear unkept, abandoned, malnourished, neglected to carry along scruffy to dis without remorse or consderation, esp. in areas populated by thrill-seekers  scruffilize (official) scruffilise (slang) v. to  apply torque, tilt, leaning, or bending to an individual, esp. by a group on his/her peers ( Since John said that chips taste like poptatoes, he has been scruffized every lunchtime. )

Sesame Street pn. 1. The Greatest TV series ever created. 2. an important means of stress relief for Kolij students ~ tick 1. a normal Kolij student 2. a student of Commermere 3. anyone with appreciation for the finer things of life Hence Seasame Street Theme Song

skopegg (Caribbean) skowpegg (St. Andrew) scopeg (US,Int'l) (sco-peg) a & n 1. to inform uninvolved parties (esp. officers of the law) of happenings or occurrences, with malicious intent, in order to extricate oneself from potentially compromising situations ; 2. propagation of scandalous fallacies with total disregard of personal loyalty to all parties involved. 3. to absolve onself completely of blame,esp. in light of circumstancial evidence.

S.O.P. abbr. 1. Slut On Parade. 2. one who maintains several simultaneous relations with the opposite gender. Hence sopping 3. v. to engage in sopping hard S.O.P. (official) hardsop (slang) one who openly engages in sopping,yet avoids penalty. softsop (official and slang) one who attempts to S.O.P. but fails miserably , esp. due to too much long talk and not enough short pooch fradulent S.O.P. person who , by fraudulent means , maintains several simultaneous relationships with the opposite gender , with disregard of committments , implicit or explicit , to those involved.
 

spase v. 1. to have an unprovoked militant reation to some event 2. to momentarily lose touch of one's surroundings and act as one sleep-walking ( "I see men in grass skirts chasing a Jeep" said TWood,as he talked to us on the phone."Can't you see them?" ) 3. to digress from the matter at hand,esp. in a show of one's talent,for little or no reason 4. to have a militant reaction to the perceived rudeness of inanimate objects ( That rock hit my toe,so I kicked it.) 5. to use special logic,objectivelye deemed to be ism,esp. woth regards to persons of the opposite gender (That girl reminds me of demon spawn...I think I will ask her to be my girlfriend.) Hence spasm

special a. 1. euphemism for unusual beyond socially acceptable parameters 2. decision based on a sequence of apparently sound, logical thought but, upon closer inspection of the thought processes, is found to be founded on fraudulent concepts 3. one who goes against convention with total disregard for the consequences of his actions

talent n. 1. ability to rhyme 2. ability to spontaneously create a verse pleaseing to ear on a radomly selected topic,esp. one which rhymes 3. euphemism used to describe an unconvential action which appears to be unbelievably stupid. see also special

talk n. & v. 1. oral communication, esp. without purpose. long talk n. 1. conversation centering around one major point, usually one-sided, and extended beyond in order for the talker to ensure the talkee has fully understood said point. 2. unnecessarily long conversation used to waste time 3. excessive use of rehearsed lines in order to achieve a particular goal. Trademark of a softsop or a fraud. opp. short pooch to give talk v. to orally convey a challenge, dis, or insult to another to take talk v. 1. to lapse when someone gives one talk 2. to refuse to resopnd to talk given, esp. due to cowardice, fear, or prudence (He took the talk because he knew the headmaster was just around the corner.)

tek v. 1. to take 2. to foricible reposess the property of another 3. to reposess the property of another by threatening violence if resistance is given 4. to re-posess without knowledge fo the owner tek talk see to take talk

Tekken [series] n. 1. literally <<Iron Fist Tournament>> 2. [series of] 3-D fighting game, with fighting usually taking place along one axis, which features unbelievably detailed and realistic combat model Tekken 2 standard by which all 3D fighting games,andd fighting games in general,are measured.

thrillz (net tick), thrills (slang) (trills) n. 1. pseudo-plural noun used to describe events which Kolij persons find extremely entertaining.

tick n. , a. & v. 1. pursuit of interest (esp. video games) with utmost intensity , totally disregarding external and internal distractions. ( John , stop ticking and come eat something. You have not left that screen in the last 10 hours.); person who ticks (I am a Tekken tick); such an act (I am going to tick Street Fighter Alpha now.). Hence tickage. [S.O.P.py's note : Not to be confused with the Tropical Bont Tick , which plagues cows , sheep,and other livestock.]

torque v. 1. to cause peson or thing to experience rapid angular displacement,esp. about one's Center Of Gravity 2. stronger version of hit hard , pull loud 3. the product of the magnitude of the force applied and the perpendicular distance of the line of action of the force from the axis. to ~ [insert agressive adjective here] even stronger version of toque 2.

trollop n. & v. 1. vicious blow to the groin 2. (slang) vicious blow to any person or thing
 

vigour (Caribbean,English) vigor (US,Int'l) a. & n. 1. enthusiasm 2.posessing effervescent traits or behaviourial patterns

wak synonym for work

wak adj. & adv. 1. used to describe successful person. ( I wak ) 2. impressive, worthy of being bigged up (Dat does wak) 3. work, expend considerable time and/or effort ( After all that wak,I finally passed Accounts)

wak v. 1. to achieve success. 2. to engage in an activity with vigor 3. to confidently face a problem,trial,or esp. test Hence to be wacking. wack down 1. stronger version of wack 3. 2. to totally anihilate, destroy, defeat, make short work of, do away with militance, run over. 3. opp. of to get greased down

Wayne fictional character created by TWood in order to avoid the shame and disgrace due to the creater of his fradulent stories. ( Wayne told me about Skopegg.)

woman's intuition n. 1. an ability intrinsic to females which causes a casual inquiry about one's health to raise suspicions about the possibility of their  man being a fraudulent S.O.P. 2. a tendency intrinsic in females to make fraudulent assumptions based on the obvious facts,without regard for underlying concepts, esp. in relation to an oscillating series of numbers.

WUCKUPS n. 1. frottage, esp. to the accompaniment of Dub or Calypso.

wutless a. 1. synonym for worthless 2. devoid of socially accepted standards of moral conduct, esp. as regards sexual conduct 3. filled with malice, anger, or resentment to the extend that no benefitial consequences can be directly derived form one's actions, 4. devoid of understanding of the social model

Compiled by: Lord Granitor, S.O.P.py, Twood. Associated with Rohan's phile of thrillz.
Special thanks to Gerald, John Murphy, Enid Lieton (no relation to Enid Blyton).
Email comments to: The Kolij Krew : Lord Granitor, S.O.P.py , Rohan Pennegan , Twood
This site was accessed times since the night of March 10,1997.

to have in parts: 1. to exhibit behavioural patterns inconsistent with accepted standards of human behaviour 2. to employ special logic,oblivious to the special nature of this logic Lirano acts so wierd,she must have in parts.

to have a behind packed up with marl 1. to have a very attractive behind,esp. of female That girl looks so good - like her behind pack up with maryl

-age 1. pseudo-prefix used for emphasis. ( That torqueage.) 2. prefix added by the second person in a group of talented men who are spontaneously spasing in rhyme.

-ism 1. used in conjunction with -age for further emphasis. ( That deserves rapid fire munitions-age-ism.) 2. prefix added by the thrid person in a group of talented men who are spontaneously spasing in rhyme.

-pi- 1. syllabi used to infer referce to the female labium