The Broken Engagement

When an engagement is broken the young woman should return to the young man all letters and presents, and may ask, by a brief, courteous, but dignified note, for the return of her letters to him.  It would not be necessary, ordinarily, to write such a note, as the man would take the sending back od his gifts as final, and to mean the return of hers also.

In case the wedding is near, so that wedding presents have been received from friends, the no longer "bride-elect" should return them to the givers with an explanatory note. the note should mention nothing beyond the fact that the engagement has been broken.

The mother of the young woman is the one to announce the breaking of the engagement. She quietly does so, by word of mouth or notes to friends. In case of a broken engagement, it is not delicate to allude to it, unless one is a very intimate friend, and then it is better to leave the first broaching of the subject to the one most concerned.

It is customary for the privilege to be granted the woman of terminating and engagement without offering any explanation other than her will. Nevertheless, she will not use this privilege arbitrarily, without casting a shadow upon her reputation and character for faithfulness and integrity. A man is expected to have a reason which may be acknowledged to his intimate froends, and which shall justify him in their eyes, if he breaks and engagement. If the cause of the breaking of the engagement, however, reflects upon the lady, he is in honor bound to show great reserve, and not to cast any shadow upon her reputation, even if his own suffers instead.

However, in many circles to-day it is enough to say that an engagement has been broken mutually, even though no reason is obvious. This should be so, for if too much comment attaches to the breaking of a marriage engagement, marriages will be entered into the almost certain outcome of which is the divorce court.

A lady should never accept any but trivial gifts, such as flowers, a book, a piece of music, or a box of confectionary, from a gentleman who is not related to her. Even a marriage engagement does not make the acceptance of costly gifts wise.

Edited by Sharon Saracino. ©2003 Granny’s Closet /Sharon Saracino

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