Wedding Gifts

So extreme has become the custom of sending wedding presents that it is perhaps necessary to remind those who really desire to do the correct thing, that a perfunctory service, or gift, or courtesy has no intrinsic value, and the omission of it would often be far more satisfactory than its bestowal.

The usual form of wedding gift is something of use and ornament for the new house. Silver, linen, cut glass, or china for the dining-room, furniture, rugs, lamps, claocks, vases, books, and pictures, or bric-a-brac for the rest of the house are all appropriate.

If silver is given, it should not be marked, as the bride may have duplicates and prefer to exchange some pieces for others, or as she may have a special form of engraving which she prefers. The exchange of a gift, however, removes from it the personal thought of the giver, and makes its acceptance more a matter of mercenery than of friendly interest. If, however, such exchange is made at the suggestion or with the approval of the giver, it still remains a personal gift. The indefinite way  in which many people choose wedding gifts for their friends, following only the conventional ideas of what is suitable, has taken a great deal of personal interest from the gift at the very first.

The wedding gift should be a real gift in spirit, something expressive of the giver's good wishes, and something which the bride and bridgegroom can enjoy and appreciate for its worth to them. Foolish things, whether expensive or not, have no real utility or beauty, and have always the atmosphere of insult about them, or else always reflect upon the intelligence of the giver.

A bride should acknowledge all gifts as soon as they are received, and before her wedding day if possible. Spontaneous rather than stereotyped notes of thanks are preferable. They should show appreciation of the gift, and include the nameof the bridegroom elect in her expression of their gratitude. A bride should remember that too elaborate notes, which are a grave tax on her strength or time in the busy days precedinga wedding are unwise, as is any other unnecessary expenditure of energy.

It is never obligatory to send a wedding present. The wedding announcement and wedding invitation are equally suggestive of such gifts, for i either case, whether one is invited to the ceremony or not, one isperfectly free to do as he pleases about confering a gift.

Edited by Sharon Saracino. ©2003 Granny’s Closet /Sharon Saracino

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