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......all because of one painful truth. They are short. Yes, Gwen, Pat, Karen, Nina, Lindsey and Davy are all freak of nature midgets. But you know what? I love them all. Yes, love them, and it pains me everyday to see them called such derogatory words as shrimp, pipsqueak, small fry, shorty short short short, snoodle, p*glet, Kurtzy-Poo, Patty Boy, and Gwen Gwen the Penguin. They struggle with doorknobs, sit on phone books to drive, and don't get me started on changing lightbulbs. It would be foolish for me to try to say that short people aren't freaks, but you've got to ask yourself, does being freaks make them any less important? In a world where not even permanents are permanent, isn't it kind of refreshing to know that no matter what, Gwen will always be shorter than you are? To know that no matter how big your head is, Karen will always be a leprechaun? To know that no matter how much money and how many women Davy Jones has, he will still always be 5'3"? Yes indeed, short people are here for a reason, a very important reason. Truly they have made this world a better place. |
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