-- Receive PCW mailings (external link).
-- Check out some classic matches.
-- Read interviews with PCW wrestlers.
-- Visit our parent organization (external link).
-- See what it takes to join PCW.
-- Learn who's held each belt and when.
-- Dig into our annals for results.
-- Meet the wrestlers of PCW.
An interview with Darren Blade
The best part about being a rookie is that nobody knows a thing about you. Sooner or later you can make an impact on the federation in a matter of a few matches. Perhaps that is the goal of PCW's newest talent, Darren Blade. Unlike the first impression that goes through the mind of a reader when they see the name 'Blade' the man first appeared to the staff of PCW as a well spoken, arrogant gentlemen. Followed closely by a man in a formal butler's attire, Blade looked as if he just came back from a vacation.
Showing up to this interview with a scowl for his very surroundings, Blade made it clear to us his intentions in the PCW, as well as his intentions for the future. However, unlike his hinted rich lifestyle, his supposed egotistical way of acting and dressing, it seems that Mr. Blade -- as we were asked to call him -- came dressed in a pair of loose, green jean shorts and a yellow, pink, and blue Hawaiian shirt with green, dark red and blue swirls and stripes. His glasses were too big for his face, and his arrogant grin took nothing seriously.
Darren Blade, welcome to Pacfic Coast Wrestling. How does it feel to be signed up with the amazing talent and a most impressive roster?
What? Pacific Coast Wrestling? That's what they call this dump? How do I feel being signed up on a roster full of losers and nobodies? I feel pretty damned terrible, is how I feel. I feel as if perhaps I've sunk to a brand new low. Who the hell are these people?
I see. Anyways Blade, what can our fans -- and trust me, we have fans -- expect out of a young, talented superstar like yourself?
What can they expect? Firstly they can expect ratings. Just signing me up must have garnered hundreds if not thousands of fans. What was this? A bowling alley?
Actually, yes, Darren. It was a bowling alley.
Mr. Blade. Mister ... Blade. Can you get all that?
Yes, Mr. Blade, I can. We don't seem to have a file on your past, but you have wrestled before in several leagues?
Listen Eugemire --
That's Eugene.
Whatever, Eugemire. Listen ... whoever said you have to have a past to have a future? I've looked through your web site and I must say that it is a piece of garbage, but I did grace it with my eyes and I looked through and read what these so called 'superstars' have to say about this place. And look at them all. Have you seen this?
What do you mean Mr. Blade? I think we have a fine roster here.
A fine roster? Look at these names! Look at them! Texas Jack? North Fairview? Dan "The Man" Watterson? "Handyman" Stanley Toole? These sound like B-grade movies with second hand actors in it rather than a fine wrestling league. Who the hell signed me up for this?
Well according to our reports, Mr. Blade, you did. Why did you come here if you hold all this resentment?
Why? Why did I come here? I'll tell you why, as I've already told you why but it seems you missed that point, and the 1990s judging by your fashion style. I've come here to obviously ... WIN! Can you write all that down, Eugemire?
Eugene Curtis, Mr. Blade. That's my name and secondly --
Secondly? Don't cut me off when I'm speaking, Eugemire. Secondly, I look at everyone's interviews, all their "aspirations", and I see a bunch of people bragging on what they already did. "Oh, look at me, I won a belt in such and such league and I shined it up and made it very nice and I'm going to get a pat on the back and a lollipop when I get home!" I mean come on, Eugemire, what is this?
A lot of people hold pride in the PCW, Mr. Blade. Can you at least tell us your aspirations? Do you plan on competing or just talking?
Of course I plan on competing! I'm going to win belts and whine them up and show them off. I'll dazzle the audience, I'll bring this league up to fame, fortune. I alone will make this place into the number one rated league in all of -- what city is this?
Portland. Mr. Blade, according to our reports, you have a variety of moves and a variety of wrestling techniques. Who came up with the name Guillotine Death Drop? It sounds kind if ... out there.
Portland? That's where I am? Oh that, the move. Well it's simple. As you may know, my name ends in Blade. That's Mr. Darren Blade. And a guillotine is a heavy device with a large blade -- that's a key word there, Eugemire -- that takes off an opponent's head. Now at the risk of sounding cliche, I'd have to say you'd rather just shake my hand, accept a hundred dollars and call the match mine than step into the ring with me and receive that move.
You would actually give your opponents money not to wrestle you?
What, no? Who told you that? I hope the wrestlers are smarter than you Eugemire. What I mean is that there isn't anyone on this list of morons and drooling, filthy, disgusting mongloids that will ever be able to beat me. They should all just go home and give me the titles, all of them. And you want to know all about me? I'll tell you something --
It seems like we are getting somewhere with this interview.
Don't cut me off! Don't you ever cut me off. I'll give you the list. I'm not your standard boring wrestler. I won't promise you things to get cheers. I don't care who you are, or how many fans you have. Everyone will adore me. Everyone will love me. When they buy action figures, they will buy the Blade brand action figure. They will buy my t-shirts. They will ask me for autographs. There will be a day when you think of excellence and the only person that will pop into your mind is Darren Blade.
Is that all you have to say, Mr. Blade?
One more thing, Eugemire. Darren Blade wants you, if you want Darren Blade.
[Posted 11.3.2002]
By Eugene Curtis
