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| BATTLE of BRITAIN |
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| JIM ROSS: Well here we are again folks at the sold out Werrington Sports Arena in Peterborough, England, and all set for a great pay-per-view with two great matches tonight. We have a six person tag match, a grudge match between the WMRF owner and her ex-husband, and a Hardcore match between Valhella and Googalick. JERRY “THE KING” LAWLER: How can the matches go ahead? I know Mistress Demonica is not going to be well enough for the six person tag and Valhella was arrested earlier in the week for assaulting that fan. Who knows when she’ll be allowed out now after that? JIM ROSS: Lets go over live to Michael Cole in the States, in the lobby of the prison she’s being held at. Michael Cole appears on the video wall and is interviewing a huge Police officer* MICHAEL COLE: Officer, I believe you are holding Valhella Dracul here on the charge of assaulting a fan, Colin Penng, outside the AstroDome? POLICE OFFICER: Yes sir, that’s correct. And its Sergeant Luthbeck to you. Valhella looks like being locked away for a long time. MICHAEL COLE: But she’s set to be in a match tonight in England, and her career is in jeopardy here. POLICE OFFICER: Well she should have thought of that before she seriously several inmates and hospitalised some of my officers here. She has a criminal record from the past and that will work against her too. She’ll be held in the Psychiatric Wing until she can prove to us she’s going to behave satisfactorily. MICHAEL COLE: Psychiatric Wing? But she could never be let out of there! What’s going on Sergeant? POLICE OFFICER: Interview over. Goodbye Mr Cole. *Michael Cole looks at the camera, shrugs, and walks slowly away* JR: That isn’t looking too good for Valhella is it King? JL: I always knew she was a bad one. Shoulda listened to me eh JR? She’s nuts! JR: That’s not fur us to judge King. Lets see what’s happening about the matches tonight. *The Legend of Xanadu hits the speakers and WMRF Owner Xanadu Williams heads to the ring, smiling to the fans, and gently taking the mic from the ring announcer* Ladies and gentleman, and those of you out there watching around the world on pay-per-view, we have a few slight changes to the matches here tonight. As you know, Valhella Dracul was arrested for assault and while being held has got into a little more trouble so her match for tonight will be fought by a substitute, yet to be arranged. Also, the doctors have announced in the last ten minutes that Mistress Demonica will not be fit enough to fight in the six man tag match and we will find someone to stand in for her until she regains her health. The only match to go on as scheduled is my match with Devon Williams (fans boo and hiss at the sound of his name, Xanadu waits for them to calm before continuing) that cheating, lying, no-good, scumbag asshole of an ex-husband of mine. After I’m through whooping his ass, I will go back to my office for a celebratory drink, and start planning a match between me and that loose woman hussie whore Gina Lopez. Then, and only then, will I put my feet up, relax, and enjoy the firework display of Devon sulking because he lost OUR match! *Devon appears out of nowhere and attacks Xanadu from behind with a sledge hammer, hitting her in the head and chest, then leaves laughing, as the paramedics tend to her in the ring and carry her off on a stretcher.* JR: Oh my god King, this night is going to be a disaster. This is terrible. JL: We’ll give you an update on the condition of the Ms Williams as soon as we can find out folks. Stay with us on this. |
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