Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers
Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers
When she was sleeping I went creeping up the leg of her drawers
When she was sleeping I went creeping up the leg of her drawers
 repeat

-TOP-

Hark, what's the noise out by the porch door?
Dear Granny, there's mummers, there's twenty or more.
Her old weathered face lightens up with a grin.
Any mummers, nice mummers 'lowed in?

Ah, come in lovely mummers, don't bother the snow,
We'll wipe up the water sure after you go.
And sit if you can or on some mummer's knee.
We'll see if we knows who ye be.

Ah, there's big ones and small ones, tall ones and thin,
There's boys dressed as women and girls dressed as men,
With humps on their backs and mitts on their feet,
My blessed we'll die with the heat.

Well, there's only one there that I think that I know,
That tall fellow standing alongside the stove.
He's shaking his fist for to make me not tell.
Must be Willy from out on the hill.

Oh, but that one's a stranger, if ever was one
With his underwear stuffed and his trapdoor undone
Is he wearing his mother's big forty-two bra?
I knows, but I'm not going to say.

Well, I 'spose you fine mummers would turn down a drop
Of home brew or alky, whatever you got.
Sure, the one with his rubber boots on the wrong feet
Ate enough for to do him all week.

Well I 'spose you can dance? Yeah, they all nod their heads.
They've been tapping their feet ever since they came in.
And now that the drinks have been all passed around,
The mummers are plankin'er down.

Ah, be careful the lamp! Now hold on to the stove.
Don't you swing Granny hard, 'cause you know that she's old.
And never you mind how you buckle the floor
'Cause the mummers have danced here before.

Oh my God, how hot is it? We'll never know.
I allow that we'll all get the devil's own cold.
Good night and good Christmas, mummers me dear
Please God, we will see you next year

Good night and good Christmas, mummers me dear
Please God, we will see you next year
Please God, we will see you next year.

-TOP-

The first good joy that Mary had it was the joy of one
To see her own son Jesus Christ when he was first her son
When he was first her son good man and blessed may he be

Chorus:
Oh Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for all eternity
Oh Father, Son, and Holy Ghost for all eternity

The next good joy that Mary had it was the joy of two
To see her own son Jesus Christ when he was sent to school
When he was sent to school good man and blessed may he be

Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had it was the joy of three
To see her own son Jesus Christ to make the blind to see
To make the blind to see good man and blessed may he be

Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had it was the joy of four
To see her own son Jesus Christ to read the bible or
To read the bible or good man and blessed may he be

Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had it was the joy of five
To see her own son Jesus Christ to bring the dead alive
To bring the dead alive good man and blessed may he be

Chorus

The next good joy that Mary had it was the joy of six
To see her own son Jesus Christ upon the crusifix
Upon the crusifix good man and blessed may he be

Chorus

The last good joy that Mary had it was the joy of seven
To see her own son Jesus Christ to wear the crown of heaven
To wear the crown of heaven good man and blessed may he be

Chorus

Father, Son and Holy Ghost for all eternity

-TOP-

Chorus:
She's got her hands on you but her eyes are on another
She smiles on cue
Who's the next rung on the ladder?
Who's the next rung on the ladder?

Well I know I shouldn't judge
And I don't mean to hold a grudge
But it's hard to watch her dance with someone else

Her kisses long, her hemlines shortened
For anyone important
I know it well 'cause I fell for it myself

Chorus

Yeah, she'll treat you like a soulmate
But her friends have best before dates
You're only good to her until your time expires

Yeah and she's looking good that's true
But it's all just tape and glue
Little pieces come unstuck when she gets tired

Chorus

Well if there's one thing that I've learned
I know once a bridge is burned
 There's one more river that can match you

Watch your step 'cause after all
You know that every ladder falls
And you have no one left to catch you

Now her brain is sore from plottin'
And her neck is sore from noddin'
True colours will reveal themselves in time

But here's a chance that she can't miss
'Cause here comes one more ass to kiss
That ladder shakes with every empty smile

Chorus (2x)

-TOP-

Well I know what it's like to be lonely
It comes way too easy to me
Oh I've tried and I've tried to be all that you wanted
There was something I just couldn't be

And all the days I spent lying
And the days I spent trying
To be people I just couldn't be

And I know that I couldn't be the way that you wanted
No, I know I couldn't be the way that you wanted me
The way that you wanted me

Well I've been lonely too
I've done my share of crying
I've seen all of the changes in you
Oh and every time you'd become someone new
You know that I'd miss the real one that I thought was you

And all the days you spent lying
Were the days I spent crying
Thinking something is missing in me

And I know that I couldn't be the way that you wanted
No, I couldn't be the way that you wanted me
The way that you wanted me

There comes a time when people will see
The roads they travel will never meet
No one knows who to blame
No one thinks it's their fault
They're just looking for someone to break their fall

The fighting's over now
There's nothing left but the cryin'
Let's pick up the pieces and go
Oh but one more thing, for the final scene
Can we share this one dance and think what might have been

'Cause all the days you spent lying
And the days I spent crying
We agree that we just disagree

I know that I couldn't be the way that you wanted
No, I couldn't be the way that you wanted
No, I couldn't be the way that you wanted me
The way that you wanted me
The way that you wanted me

-TOP-