Birthdate:
October 30, 1981 at 9:38 pm
Current Location:
Greenfield, Wisconsin, USA
Height:
About 5'4"
Weight:
Not Telling
Eyes:
Hazel
Hair:
Long And Blonde Now With A Beautiful Wave
Race:
Caucasian/White -- American
Heritage:
Russian, Slovak, Italian, German, French, Austrian
Body Piercings:
No (Ears Are Pierced Once)
Tattoos:
None
Dress:
Fashionable, Stylish, Expensive
Favorite Color(s):
Black And Red
Favorite Movie(s):
Final Destination, Cruel Intentions, The Princess Diaries, etc.
Favorite TV Show(s):
Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Charmed, What I Like About You, Reba, Three's Company, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Married With Children
Favorite Type Of Music:
Pop
Favorite Female Singer(s):
Mariah Carey, Jessica Simpson, Many Moore, Tonya Mitchell, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna, Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson, Kelly Clarkson
Favorite Male Singer(s):
Nick Lachey, Justin Timberlake, Michael Jackson, Joey Mcintyre, Jordan Knight
Favorite Boy Band(s):
*Nsync, Backstreet Boys, 98°, Westlife, O-Town, BBMak
Favorite Girl Band(s):
TLC
Favorite Food(s):
Pizza, Fried Chicken, Pasta
Favorite Drink(s):
Diet Coke
Favorite Alcoholic Drink(s):
Wine, Screw Drivers
Favorite Sport:
None Anymore
Favorite Sports Team:
None
Hobbies/Interests:
Painting, Working On My Website, Meeting New People, Drawing, Cooking, Cleaning, Baking, Repairing Things, Writing Poems, Writing Songs, Playing Instruments, Karate, Watching TV, Singing, Dancing, Watching Movies, Working Out, Hosting Parties, Shopping, Going For Walks, Hanging Out With Friends, Hanging Out With Family, Collecting, Talking On The Phone, Chatting, Cuddling, Kissing, Listening To Music, Puzzles, Board Games, Video Games, Computer Games, Casting Spells
Traits I Like In A Guy:
Attractive, Honest, Loyal, Faithful, Caring, Loving, Considerate, Generous, Sweet, Respectful, Intelligent, Not Into Games Of The Heart, Caucasian, 18-30 Years Old, Under 200 Pounds (varies depending on height and muscle), Not Covered In tattoos, No Body Peircings, Patient.
Turn-Offs:
Long Hair, Illiterate People, Mind Games, Heart Games, Body Piercings, Too Many Tattoos, Inability To Read Profiles, Laziness, Asking The Same Questions, Asking Me About My Webcam, Trying To Get Me Naked
Who am I really?
Sweet, Loyal, Honest, Respectful, Not Into Games, Sensitive, Caring, Loving, Talented, Intelligent, Good Hearted, Good Sense Of Humor, Good Looking, Nice hair, Great Fashion Sense, Beautiful Eyes, Fun To Be Around, Trustworthy, Faithful, Generous, Considerate.
As a baby I had a disease. Before I turned 18 my pain used to be so bad that I didn't think I'd make it through the nights, as much as I hate hospitals, and try my best to stay out of them, there were alot of times I had my mom take me to the hospital because of pain I could not deal with.
I almost died several times when I was growing up due to choking, suffocation. I collapsed in front of my class in the 4th grade and all my friends just laughed at me when I was out cold. I was stabbed by a big piece of glass when I was about ten.
At about age ten my mom's boyfriend accidently slammed the corner of her trunk door down on my head, I lost alot of blood and was rushed to the hospital. A bully kicked my face at around age ten.
At age eight or nine my parents got a divorce. At age eleven , the corner of my bed went through my knee then I got a stone stuck in my knee the next day at school. When I was 12 I accidently split two of my fingers open to the bone and they had to be operated on, almost cut my fingers right off.
I got my first black eye when I was 13, and my second black eye when I was 15 by my sister, of course I used to get hit all the time growing up by everyone, even my mom's boyfriend but she never knew. I got punched around in 7th grade by a bully on the school bus, she got what was coming to her.
I used to climb trees all the time until I got my knee stuck one day then my dad had to cut it out. When I was 16 I got a really bad ear infection and sore throat so I was taken to the hospital to find out that I had a fever...the doctor they sent me to harrassed me.
I know they're supposed to ask teenage girls certain questions but he took it too far, he asked "Are you pregnant?" I said "No" he asked "Would you like to go take a pregnancy test?" I said "No" he asked "Have you ever had sex?" I said "No" he asked me again and I told him straight out with an attitude "I AM A VIRGIN."
He asked "Do you know what sex is?" I said "Yes" then he actually told me to describe sex to him. I told my mom right away when he went to make a call, since I refused to describe it he sent in the hospital's social worker to talk to me and he was on the phone with my doctor.
My doctor told him "Just leave her alone. She doesn't like talking to anyone. She doesn't talk to me. She doesn't talk to her mom. Just leave her alone" then the doctor backed off. Someone drugged me when I was fourteen so I was taken to the hospital.
August 2004
I've been getting sick constantly with throat infections, ear infections, fevers, colds, unable to eat or drink anything at all, almost hospitalized a couple times, spitting up blood, unable to even speak at all. In and out of clinics and the emergency room.
September 27, 2004
I've been doing better lately, so far I've gone a month without getting sick. However, as soon as I can I'm still going to see my doctor for a complete physical and more lab tests.
March 2005
I was viciously attacked by an animal. It bit me several times on my legs, feet, and hands. My left foot and right hand swelled up for a few days so I couldn't walk, type, or write. For several weeks after the swelling went down the punctured areas still hurt.
May 2006
I got another sore throat. It start out as nothing really, then started getting worse so I went to the ER and they put me on two medications. The next day I had a very severe allergic reaction that nearly killed me so I was rushed back to the ER. I was covered from head to toe in hives....literally. My temperature shot up without cause. I was seeing white spots in front of my eyes to the point where everything actually started going black.
Even today no one understands all the pain I suffered every single day for over fifteen years, both physical and emotional.
My whole life my family has never really had much, my parents had to buy our clothes from Salvation Army so for years I've been giving back to them, always donating clothes and lots of other things I don't use but eventually we lost our home and almost ended up on the streets.
I've been made fun of my whole life by friends and even family, I could get boys to like me but every boy that I liked never gave me a chance to care.
There were hundreds of guys when I was growing up that broke my heart, even today it hasn't changed but at least now I'm all grown up and can deal with them myself. *EG*
No one understands how hard I had to struggle to make it through all the pain I felt and still feel. It's only getting worse emotionally, physically. I'm okay most of the time now but inside I feel like I'm dying.
I tell people I'm okay and I cover up my emotions with a smile so that no one can see through the window to my soul all the pain that I still hold.
I try to think of the good things in life that I have but this pain is growing bigger as each day passes and in the night I break down. Everyone has always tried keeping me down by treating me like I'm nothing so that I believe I am, truth is I'm better than they are because I don't treat nice people like they treat me.
I used to wish I was someone else because I thought there was something wrong with me that made everyone treat me the way they did but now I realize it was never me it was them and the way they are.
As a kid I was almost kidnapped, I was molested, almost taken away from my parents, and almost raped. I'm ashamed to say that the more guys who hurt me the more revenge I seek, because I'm not here to hurt people but they hurt me and should not be allowed to get away with treating women like shit.
Christmas Eve 1998 as we were opening gifts we got a phone call that my Aunt's body was found on the floor in her apartment. I watched my family grieve as I struggled to be the one in control.
I had to be strong for everyone else, besides if I started crying then I might've not been able to stop even though I wanted to.
When I was eighteen my Uncle died and in the same week, his wife died. When I was seventeen one of my Uncle's died from cancer. When I was 12 my dad had to have a Quadruple-Bypass. When I was sixteen my mom got skin cancer but we didn't find out until years later.
I always dreamed of living in a beautiful mansion, but I grew up in a small house that we lost when I was 12 and ever since then I've lived in apartments and run down houses with high rent but not worth the money.
My entire life I've been beat by my mom, dad, sister, brother, mom's boyfriend, and so-called friends, but now I don't take shit from anyone, and even today though everyone still upsets me at times we don't get into physical fights anymore.
Everyone always puts me down and bosses me around knowing how sensitive I am but obviously they can't possibly care or else they would give a thought to my feelings.
I was always alone, and even today I still feel as though I am. I've had so many friends that stole from me and betrayed me, they left my side when I needed a friend the most and now I'm 22 years old but some things never change.
I've stood by and watched the men treat me, my mom, and my sister like shit all my life....my dad came home drunk all the time and many nights he didn't come home at all because he was shacking up with his mistress. Why do you think it's hard for me to trust?
Ages nine to twelve I smoked around two and a half packs of cigarettes a day, although every now and then I still get a craving for a smoke but I try my best to control it.
I ditched school all of the time in the 4th and 7th grade, then dropped out in the 8th grade but in no way does that mean I'm stupid because I am very smart. I drank beer every chance I got. I shoplifted and stole money from my dad.
I snuck out alot in the middle of the night and when I was supposed to be grounded just to hang out with some cute boy. I used to beat up boys on the school bus, but it was all fun and games, sometimes I took on four of the boys at once.
This boy from my school stole over $60 of my birthday money when I was thirteen so I tracked down his address went over there and beat his ass, unfortunately he had already spent my money.
I used to bottle up all of my emotions then one day when I was sixteen I ended up throwing the coffee table across the living room breaking the leg off. I didn't mean to but when a person bottles up all their emotions for too long then they end up breaking down.
I always walked through this field with a bad reputation of girls going in but never coming out, I was never really scared of anything in my entire life and I still am that brave.
When I dropped out of school, they sent over a couple social workers and a cop to talk to me, the cop harrassed me. His name was "Officer Ops (pronounced oops)" so even to this day we all call him Officer Oopsie Daisy.
He had no right treating me like a total moron just because I'm smarted than he is, and well they all forced my mom to take me to Charter but the doctor found no reason to keep me there.
I used to hang out with the wrong crowd all of the time, from smokers to robbers to drug addicts to drug dealers. I used to hang out with bad crowds all of the time...drug dealers, robbers, car thieves, drug addicts.
When I was a kid I was at a friends house playing and time just flew by so my friends Uncle gave me a ride home that night in his black limo, he was a drug dealer.
I always hung out with the wrong crowds...robbers...car thieves...drug addicts... gang members...used to sneak out of the house when I was supposed to be doing my homework or sleeping just to hang out with some cute boy.
I never had one good friend until I came to chat and now I have friends that I always dreamed of having, friends that respect me and care about me for who I am, they never judged me, just befriended me with no questions asked.
I've always been known as a fighter, never gave up on fighting, always saw things through until the end. These boys I was friends with broke into the house one day when I was home alone, I tried to call the cops but the oldest one unplugged the phone and sat me on my mom's bed refusing to let me go, I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me go.
The younger one jumped on his older brothers back then I stormed out of the house and ran down to the police station, those boys were always in trouble with the law though, they're the ones that got me smoking, drinking, ditching school, and stealing.
They're the ones I played truth or dare with all of the time and I never backed out on a dare, dares as little as chugging down beers to kissing a guy to flashing cars that drove by.
My sister and her boyfriend tried like hell to set me and this boy Jason up but I kept rejecting him, Jason was sitting in the backseat of his parents car with a rose on his lap waiting for me, he was the first that ever gave me flowers and he did every chance he got.
This guy on my block had several kittens and so I liked going to his house to pet the kittens but he was the type that was into young girls, everytime I went over there with my sister and a friend he'd be walking back and forth upstairs naked hoping we would see him.
One time he said we could look around his house while he was in the bathroom so we did and when it came down to his bedroom he had alot of odd things plus a hole looking into his bathroom which he must've known was there.
When I was 15 my sister and I were downstairs cleaning and we heard a loud scream coming from upstairs so I ran up there while my sister went to grab something for protection, I kicked open the door ready for him.
We saw my mom's boyfriend trying to strangle our mother and I was ready to kick his ass around the block. I ran back downstairs to call the police but he took off. He always comes back but this time he won't have the chance because we'll be ready for him.
Some of you judge me by the type of woman I am and what I put on my website, but you know what? I really don't care because I am better than you and I refuse to waste my precious time on lower beings that would be better off never born....to these people...you know who you are...it's completely your loss, never mine.
I almost ended up on the streets several times because I was trying to run away and one time me and my family lost our house.
The only real friends I have ever had were my animals because they were the only ones of all my family and friends that were actually there when I needed someone. To everyone else they were just animals, but to me they were all that I had; my only true friends; the only ones I could count on.
No matter what happened in my life or with me, they never left my side and I stayed by theirs until the end. I still feel the heartache from when I was a little girl as if it were j ust yesturday.
That may have been over 15 years ago, but I'll never fully recover from all that pain people brought me and the tears I cried as each animal died by myside. Those tears will forever remain inside along with the hurt that even today people bring me.
As a kid I would bury my animals in my backyard which I knew would keep their spirits with me and now I see even to this day..they still never left my side. Every tear that I cried, every fear I held inside.
Their spirits helped me through it all. When I was 16 I had this cat that was dying, I sat beside her day and night trying to help her get better.
She wasn't eating, going to the litter box, walking around at all, all she would do is sleep and had blood running out of her eyes. It really hurt me to see her like that, but I had faith that she would get better.
I bought her canned cat food, crunched up her dry food, tried giving her water, tried giving her warm milk but she refused to eat until I held her and busted out in tears then she slowly started eating again.
I was so foolish as to mess around with evil (pentagram and Ouija board) I was told that very night that "You shouldn't mess around with evil because you'll be cursed for life."
Then it was just a matter of time until my animals started dying on me, my family going through poverty, depression and getting sick. I became a good witch when I was fifteen so that I could help people especially my family and try to change the world.
In my childhood house I saw unexplainable thing such as ghostly like figures floating around. We had this Ouija Board....our first Quija Board, we tried to burn it but it refused to burn then my brother was almost hit by lightning.
We cut the board into four pieces and put them face down in a mixed order, the next morning I found them face up and in the order that they were in before as if the board was formed again. Awhile later we found it in the basement in one piece.
We know we're not crazy or anything because we've known LOTS of people who have indeed heard weird things about the Ouija Board.
My sister's friend spent the night one night and brought over her Ouija Board, I tried to stay away and told them to put it away but they both insisted on trying to contact The Devil.
I actually felt like blacking out at that point, and here I've never been scared of anything....not even The Devil himself. When I was twelve my friends and I were in the basement, we saw what "looked" like Reaper's ax coming down.
One day when the windows and doors were closed/locked I was in my bedroom praying and it sounded like giggling coming from my closet, when I opened it all that was in there were my troll dolls. When I was fourteen my sister and mother wanted to get a new Ouija Board but I totally forbid it.
One night I woke up to find them gathered at the table with all the lights out and black candles lit, I totally blew up and snatched it from them right away.
Shortly after my Aunt gave me some Holy Water to use and so I did, but my black cat which was named Spooky because her first owner got her on Halloween.
Well she would not stay away from me during the ceremony, just kept rubbing against the board and then after I finished and threw it in the dumpster outside; my cat started hissing and growling at everyone as if she was possessed, then got very sick.
At age fifteen I started having dreams that come true so I bought tarot cards and started working with unleashing my psychic powers.
In my life I could tell when something bad was going to happen because a cross would appear out of nowhere, like this time in the car there was a cross on my hand that wasn't there before; everyone else saw it too then.
Seconds after we stopped in the drive-thru at Taco Bell the car died and no one could get it started for awhile, even had alot of the workers coming out to help.
The first spell I ever tried casting was to get rid of dark forces surrounding me and my home, the power of the spell almost made me black out. I had three dreams in the same week of people breaking in so I took them as a precaution, I needed more than just a dream though.
As soon as I woke up I gave myself a tarot card reading after each dream and each time it said "Beware of being robbed." So that's when I started training for anyone who would be stupid enough to even try breaking in. I've been a witch since I was 15.
When I was sixteen I saw ghostly like figures in the basement after I messed up the first spell I tried. When I was seventeen I bought a new Ouija Board and kept it out of the box.
I believe I predicted my Aunt's death on Christmas Eve because when I was seventeen I had two dreams one was about us burying my dad and the other one was about the Ouija Board....
"There were two rottweiler dogs in my bedroom, one on each side of the board guarding it, the lights off, black candles lit, and the oracle spinning out of control.
After each dream I gave myself a tarot reading and both said "Death of a loved one." At that time I didn't think anything of it, but then my Aunt went missing two days before Christmas and found dead.
I also interpret dreams and it looks as though the evil from the Ouija board is what triggered the bad luck...as for the dream about my own dad's funeral, well the way I see it is I predicted my Aunt's death and at the same time predicted my dad dying...after all; one year later my dad got VERY sick and was dying.
As always strange things happened in the New Berlin House such as foot steps, drawers opening and shutting, boxes falling over, things being rearranged.
A dream returned that I haven't had since I was a little kid and everything was still exactly the same...it had to do with undead body parts all over my childhood house.
Ever since I was seventeen I've been having the same dream and everything is always the same...in the dream I start out at my childhood house whether it's inside or outside and I'm always running as fast as I can away from it but seems like I'm not getting anywhere.
As I see it that could be me as a person running away from the person I was to the person I want to be, in other words, trying to run away from the evil inside me, the bad girl I am...and trying to reach something greater, something better.
Just recently I finally had a little ceremony and got rid of my third Ouija Board, at the time I knew what I was risking but it had to be done so I sacrificed knowing Cybyte and getting more ill (had been really sick lately) to do what had to be done.
They say when getting involved with things having to do with evil then you have to be prepared to give up everything you love, so I sacrificed my friendship with him and the chance of getting back together with him.
All I ever really wanted my whole life was one guy that really loves me for who I am, a man who I can love without fear he'll play me like all the other guys do. I grew up unable to love or care about anything or anyone, not my friends, not my family, not even myself but Mike came and changed all that.
Before long he showed me all the reasons why I should love myself, then I was finally able to. I let Mike closer than I ever thought I would, but when it came down to him falling in love with me he called me just a week before my 19th birthday to end it all and I never heard from or saw him again.
We were together for almost two years, even to this day my feelings for him haven't changed. I still love him as much as I ever did and that will never change.
Mike makes me stronger, makes me feel so alive, makes me want to go on living, gives me faith to do anything I set my mind to, makes me smile no matter how much I'm hurting, makes me feel good about myself, makes me able to love myself and others.
One of his female friends told me that he's liked alot of minors but I'm the one he wants to be with and then he told me that I'm everything he's always wanted in a woman and that I'd make the perfect housewife cause of all the cleaning and cooking I enjoy doing and that I'm really good at it.
I let Mike touch me in certain areas. I let him lick my neck and chest, one little step away from making love and we broke up, just a week before my birthday.
He always thought of me as such a sweetheart, I really was. We talked to eachother about everything and no one ever knew the things we talked about or the things we did ;) He romanced me when we were alone. He told me he's tired of all the women who give it up just like that.
He'd caress my hand all the time and kiss it, he'd kiss my neck, lick my fingers, he was always the perfect gentleman. So much in fact that he never made a move on me without asking, but I loved that he respected me so much. He'd touch my shoulders and offer a massage.
He said when my brother and he would go out looking for other chicks then I'd pop in his head. He told me that when he was on the bus and there was this chick staring at him, I'd pop in his head.
The first night he romanced me I asked him for a hug as he was leaving the next morning, and he said he's wanted to hug me but didn't know if it would be appropriate. I thought about him every minute of everyday no matter what I was doing and I'd dream of him every single night, usually twice in one night and sometimes three times in one night.
We hugged all of the time, he held me so tightly alot of times and didn't want to let go. He bought me a black stuffed kitten for Valentine's Day when I was 17 then we walked to the store and he spent the last of his money to get me some flowers. He asked if I casted a spell on him and I said "No, I thought about it but never did."
He said I didn't have to. He told me the more he's with me the more he likes me. He took my hand in his, gazing into my eyes and said that he doesn't want to hurt me at all. Mike used to sing to me, he always talked about how pretty and nice I always look, that I have such a pretty smile and smell so good.
When we were alone he put love songs on and we would slow dance, in fact our first kiss was during the song "Save The Best For Last." He was nervous around me but there was nothing to be nervous about, he's had lots of women.
He always had special plans for us for my birthdays and Valentine's Day. He gave me a ring on our last Valentine's Day together as a promise ring.
When it came down to my family barbeque; he wore his best outfit to make a good impression on my family. Mike always knew just what to do to make me laugh and cheer me up, he was the only one that knew me better than anyone in the world, and he's still the only one. He always opened doors and pulled chairs out for me.
We trusted eachother and had so much in common it isn't even funny. He was always there for me and the only one that could tell when something was wrong, the only one I trusted, the only one I could count on, the only one that I opened up to, the only one I'll never forget, the only one I'll forever love and never hate.
Mike was dying to show me off to his friends and they all liked me. His friends told me some things about him such as...
"It's more than an attraction or crush" "He's liked alot of girls, even minors but you're the one he wants" "He talked about you all the time and whenever you would call his face lit up and he snuck off to talk to you alone"
"He's afraid he'll mess things up with you" "I'll have to work on getting you two married within the next few years and I'm going to be the best man" "He cancels other plans because he's expecting your call" "Mike, what are you waiting for? Someother guy will come and sweep her off her feet"
I've been shy my whole life. Those that cross me will miss out on having someone like me as a friend and no I do not think I'm all that because I know that no one is.
I'm just better than alot of people because of the simple fact that I don't play games with minds or hearts and I don't betray the people that I care about. I've always had this delicate heart and gentle soul that alot of people took for granted.
I'm not stuck up or conceited. I know exactly who I am, and that is somebody great, somebody that will change the world or die trying, somebody with the power to do anything my heart desires.
I'm talented, giving, intelligent, strong, powerful, attractive, honest, loyal, faithful, caring, loving, considerate, generous, sweet, respectful, intelligent, not into games of the heart.
I've written poetry since I was nine or so and most of them have been published, I'm working on getting my very own book(s) published. I've received certificates for outstanding achievement and excellence in poetry.
I've been invited to poetry awards shows to read my work in front of hundreds of other poets through out the world. I was invited to the presidents dinner.
When I was fifteen and entering songwriting contests I had a chance to sign a contract to write songs for singers but obviously I turned it down. I'm a future model and singer, maybe even an actress. I'm going to modeling school then I'll be on my way and travel the world.
I've been dancing since the day I could walk. I used to make up my own dance moves and everyone said I would make a great professional dancer someday, quite a few people actually came to me asking me to teach them how to dance.
I've been painting and building things since I was around six or so, I take after my dad in those areas but I was surprisingly really good. Most of my life I rearranged all the furniture by myself almost every weekend. Who says women need men? lol
I used to play all kinds of sports...football, baseball, running, bowling, swimming, roller skating, volleyball, hockey, dodge ball, basketball. I wasn't on any teams I just played for fun and I learned pretty fast but now I can't stand sports. lol
I've always been very talented and a fast learner, therefore, easy to develop new talents.
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