For Every Home

"I got one!" squealed Carrie into the phone. She was talking to her friend, Charlotte "I'm so thrilled! I invited Miranda and Samantha. Come on over."

In 2050 women were in most of the big CEO posts and all levels of the management jobs as well. 90% of all lawyers and judges were female. Congress and the state legislatures had only token men. The White House had long been occupied by a female President and the body of law had been thoroughly overhauled to deal with the reality that women were more capable and valued than men in the 21st Century.

Still, women needed men, as long as they behaved, showered and shaved every day, carried things on shopping trips, wore tool belts on Saturdays and fixed things. "Just give him a place to sit and watch the game, with a beer in hand, and a man is no more trouble than any household appliance," said the women's magazines in article after article. "And, women feel safer with men, but historically have suffered more violence, injury and death at the hands of men when married than not. Therefore, we have to raise them right, train them in marriage and get rid of them when they are no longer attractive or functional and may become cranky and dangerous." The problem was supervising them as they got too excited before sex and could not be controlled, performed sex badly more often than not, were socially unconscious an generally required too much attention and management. What to do?

Women with children could give their men "MFHL" pills to make them lactate so they would nurse children when needed, but this only solved the problem for two years, or so. "You can't have them lactating all over the place!" was the common cry in these discussions.

"The girls" arrived in a group and Carrie ushered them in to her home. "Where is Byron?" asked Samantha. "I sent him out for the day so we could talk," and she ushered her friends into the living room. On the coffee table sat the item of interest: A replica of a middle-western school paddle. It was two feet long, six inches wide at the blade with a circular end and shoulders that supported an artfully curved six inch handle ending in a two inch diameter end with a quarter-inch hole drilled in the center.

"Oh it's beautiful!" said Samantha as she picked it up. "Have you applied it yet?" and all the girls giggled.

"Now let's be serious," said Carrie. "This is really a great home appliance," and she reached for the manual. "Listen to this..." she said as she opened the booklet.

"Congratulations on acquiring your replica Indiana school paddle. It is authentic in every detail, but made of plywood instead of tradition Ash or Oak which will crack and split in time. You can count on this paddle being in service in your home for many years.

This paddle is made in two versions: "Love" and "Punish." The "Love" version is solid and can be used as a cheese board or canapé' server and conversation starter. It is especially provocative when hanging in the kitchen and will ignite interesting intercourse with guests. Normally you will want to hang the "Love" version in the bedroom, where it will be used.

The "Punish" model should be kept in a closet, dresser or out of sight in order that its' appearance have the desired "shock" effect. This paddle includes ten half-inch diameter holes, which increase the sting by a factor of four! This paddle is so powerful most spankees suffering it will lose control of their bowels so an enema or plug should be employed in preparation for spanking. And, handcuffs, or some restraints, are mandatory to prevent intrusion of the hands into the "strike zone."

"Goodness!" said Charlotte, "That sounds awful!"

"That's why I bought the Love model," answered Carrie.

"Well, do go on..." said Samantha.

"I'll skip to the instructions for the Love model..." said Carrie.

"The Love paddle is predicated on the idea that spanking is an act of mother love. Universally, mothers will say, "Remember that mother loves you," before they apply hand, paddle or hairbrush to a bad boy butt. And, generally it is a bad boy. 93% of all spankings are given to boys by our survey. Mothers have been slapping little boy butts since we became a species and always to bring an end to bad, often life-threatening behavior.

While males are necessary, and can be entertaining, they are flawed and reckless. They need to be raised to have respect for anything in high heels. Therefore, we highly recommend that you dress properly for a spanking occasion. In the training of young boys it is important that they learn high heels represent authority. When they are getting paddled it is important that they see a pair of fashionable pumps in the silhouette of what they will see when they start dating.

We also believe in the concept of "selling the spanking." This means the spankee should believe he will be well served by associating his bad behavior with a painful, but harmless, paddling. Men can be trained this way as well as boys, but the process needs to be handled with skill.

If you are inclined to paddle your man for being a bad lover the time to do it is before sex, not after. A light spanking can leave him with a tingling, stinging and burning fanny such that he will perform well. Distraction is the name of the game.

Where it is normal to apply full force in spankings much creative discipline and training can be done with light swats. They should be sufficiently energetic to produce redness of the buttocks and may be done by limiting the backswing to 45 degrees instead of a full 90 degrees. Or, by placing the spankee within two or three feet of a wall limiting the backswing thereby. But, most spankers can gauge swings well enough to inflict only light stinging instead of a Near Death Experience.

"Oh this all sounds so wonderful!" exclaimed Samantha.

"Do you think you can actually control a man with this?" asked Charlotte.

"How would you get them to do it?" wondered Miranda.

"Just tell them that is how it is going to be!" announced Carrie as she pulled out a filled-out divorce petition.

"Oh my God," said Samantha, "that would do it," and the women were silent for a long minute.

"What does it feel like?" asked Miranda.

"I don't know," answered Carrie.

"I think we should try it," said Samantha.

"How do we do that?" asked Charlotte.

"Silly," burst Samantha, "just get in line, bend over and I'll give you one then Miranda will do me, then Carrie will do her and I'll do Carrie." So the four women stood.

"Oh," said Samantha, "let's all have three. I want to really feel it," she said, pointing to Charlotte who bent over, pulled up her dress and revealed a panty-hosed butt.

WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!

Went the paddle as Charlotte gasped and cried. Miranda did Samantha with equal vigor and tears welled in her eyes. Then Carrie laid three good swats on Miranda who gasped for air in surprise at the sting. Finally, Samantha laid three stinging swats on Carrie and all four ladies retired to the couches, sitting gingerly.

"Oh my!" announced Samantha, "That is impressive."

"My god the sting!" agreed Miranda.

"I'd never do anything bad if I had that to expect," said Charlotte in the voice of a small child.

"I had no idea..." said Carrie wistfully as she reached for the book. "Listen to this..." she announced.

The paddle is important to young lovers in making the young man a better lover, more obedient husband and one wiser in sensitivities of our world. Nothing does a man so much good as sitting through a good sermon or New Age lecture with a butt stinging from eight or ten hard swats.

"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Samantha. "You mean you paddle you man and take him church or a seminar?"

"I bet they'll pay better attention then..." nodded Charlotte.

"Well let me go on..." said Carrie.

Then when the children come the paddle is invaluable in bring them up. Imagine the scene when they come home after mother has received a call from school. She is sitting in her sunny sewing room dressed nicely, wearing four or five inch heels and there on the coffee table is the paddle. She talks to the young man or girl explaining how the spanking is necessary and asks "Would you rather have your father do it?" They will take mom over dad every time, but then mom gives them a butt to remember.

All the women laughed on this line, but all could see it and Charlotte summed their feelings when she said, "Oh, it all sounds so wonderful! So, family... So loving..."

"I don't know whether you'll like this or not..." said Carrie as she went back to the book.

Later in life, when the children are gone, Madam will enter menopause and have "urges to kill" and other strong, violent feelings. It is at this time that she will find it helpful to take a good spanking as a kind of tonic, especially when followed by vigorous sex, which is virtual certainty if her husband applies "the board." Nothing is more exciting than a flaming red butt on a pair of high heels. Just wear a garter belt, single hose and stunningly tall heels and you'll get the screwing of you life as you cry away the stinging sensations. If you can arrange it, give him a few swats to extend his performance.

"My God," said Samantha, "I feel like I've heard my whole life here." And, the four women sat in silence in awe and wonder at the world they had entered.