Disclaimer ~ Okay, guess what? Last Saturday I was sitting in my family room watching Sailing Away and grinning like an idiot when the doorbell rang. So I answer it and guess who it is? Maura Tierney! And she has all these papers and stuff in her hands and tells me to sign them. And I do, cause, well, it’s Maura Tierney. Anyway, she said that the writers and producers decided that since I was such a devoted fan I could have the characters and situations portrayed as a sweet sixteen present! Isn’t that so cool! Wait, what did you say Bridget? That was DREAM!! Ugh, well, that totally blows! Okay, I guess I don’t own anything then. That sucks.

Feedback ~ Anything you have to say is welcomed. E-mail me at greeneblob707@yahoo.com with anything you want to say. You can even just e-mail me to tell me how you are doing. That would be fine with me.

Diana always hated love. From the time she was a little girl she hated it. She hated what it did to people. She never liked the fairy tale stories other girls would read and gush over. She never wished for her “prince to come.” She never hoped she would get married in a fancy ceremony and stay madly in love for the rest of her life. In Diana’s mind, that stuff never happened.

She saw what love did to the people around her. She saw how it ruined their lives and made them miserable. She saw how it tore everything apart and made things ten times more complicated then they should be. She never wanted to fall in love. She hated love.

Her sister Sandra was the exact opposite. Sandra gushed about falling in love all the time. She read Cinderella and Snow White and prayed that her “Prince Charming” would one day come. She read romance novels as a teenager and loved those sappy movies. She wanted nothing more then to fall head over heals. The whole thing sickened Diana. She didn’t understand her sister at all.

The whole thing started when Diana was a little girl. Diana’s father died when she was about five and Sandra was one. Sandra, of course, had no idea what happened, and Diana didn’t quite grasp the situation either. All she knew was that her mom loved her dad with all her heart and soul, and her dad died. So therefore her mother was miserable. Diana could hear her mom crying late at night when she thought Diana was sleeping. She was how puffy and bloodshot her eyes were the next morning. Diana may have been a little kid, but she knew that that was never good.

Diana’s mom had a hard time copping with her dad’s death. She would put on her happy face during the day and go about her normal routine, but late at night she would still cry. And Diana would still hear her. One night Diana actually got up out of bed and sat outside her mom’s bedroom door listening to her mother cry. That made Diana cry because she was so upset that her mom was upset. Of course, her mother’s cries muffled Diana’s cries.

After her mother would finally cry herself to sleep, Diana would get up and walk back to her bedroom. Then she would crawl in between the sheets and look up at her ceiling, which was covered in glow in the dark stars. Diana would silently ask God to help her mom get over her dad and then she would ask God to make sure she never fell in love. Because if love was what was making her mommy so sad, then Diana never wanted to go through that.

One day Diana told her mom she heard her crying at night. Her mother didn’t quite know how to respond. Then Diana told her mom that she hoped she never fell in love because she never wanted to cry like her. Her mom tried to tell her that love was a wonderful thing. She told her that “love gives you wings.” Diana then pointed out the fact that love also gives you tears. Her mother joked that she sounded way to smart for five and a half, and that all her talk was silly. Diana’s mother dismissed all of her daughter’s comments.

Diana grew up, but not over her feelings. The older she got, the more adamant she was that love brings nothing but sorrow. She observed the people around her and they did nothing but add to her feelings that love brought heartache.

Diana’s mom had a friend at work. Actually, she had two friends at work. They were both “in love,” or so her mom said. Diana saw them together and they did seem happy, but it always wasn’t that way. They both had hard lives and they both have very complicated stories. One of them had been married before and that brought nothing but despair. Then she had a bunch of dead end relationships, including one with another one of her mother’s co-workers, until she finally ‘”fell in love” with her husband. Diana’s mother pointed them out, saying that love didn’t seem to ruin their lives. Diana calmly reminded her mother of all that went on before they got married and all the life they had ahead of them. “Something is bound to go wrong.” Diana said.

About a year later a couple moved into the house next to Diana’s. They seemed happy at first, and Diana assumed they were newlyweds. But then the shouting matches started. When Diana and Sandra would sit out on their back porch they could hear the fighting going on inside the house. About a year later they finally got a divorce and the husband moved away. The wife became depressed and eventually lost her job. She had to file for bankruptcy because alimony just wouldn’t cut it. Diana once again asked God never to let that happen to her.

High School just made things worse. Diana was extremely pretty. She had gorgeous red hair and she had gotten contacts, which brought out her piercing eyes. She blossomed beautifully. Any girl would have killed to be her. Diana could have been homecoming queen, prom queen, and class president. She could have gone on dates and had a boyfriend. But she didn’t have any of that, simply because she was so afraid of being hurt. She listened to her friends complain about their boyfriends, and all the bad things they had done. She held her friends in her arms while they cried because “the first guy they ever loved,” dumped them. She watched them try to get over the guys they had broken up with. The whole display sickened Diana. She hated love.

When Diana went to college she went with an open mind. It was going to be a fresh start for her. She was in a whole new place with whole new people. And in college she could worry less about guys and more about work. But Diana was wrong. Love was everywhere. She had been asked out by dozens of guys over a four-year period. Hell, even girls had asked her out! But of course, Diana turned them down. She was just too afraid of falling in love. She tried to hide from love; she tried to get away from it whenever she could. She wanted away from love.

But love found Diana. And she was helpless to it. She fell head over heals for a co-worker and she could do nothing about it. Her whole life she had tried to get away from love, and she thought she was doing a good job of avoiding it. But it was all useless, because despite her best efforts, Diana had fallen in love. Love had a hold on her and she couldn’t break free.

His name was Jacob and he was wonderful. If Diana had dreamed up a prince charming when she was a little girl he would have been it. He had piercing blue eyes and the most breathtaking smile. He could make Diana laugh when she thought she would never laugh again. He made her happier then she ever thought she would be. Happier then she ever wanted to be! He was her world, and she didn’t care that falling for him went against everything she ever wished for. She wanted to be with him always and forever.

One day Diana was getting some coffee on her way to work. While she was in the coffee shop she saw Jacob sitting with a woman drinking coffee and looking at photos. She had never seen the woman before in her life. Diana was mortified. She stood there watching them until Jacob noticed Diana. When Jacob looked up at her he smiled at first, then when he saw the look on Diana’s face his smile faded. Diana dropped her coffee on the floor and ran out of the shop. She ran to her apartment, which was three blocks down the road. She locked her door and threw her belongings on the couch then plopped down on her bed and cried. She cried forever. She mumbled to herself that she knew she didn’t want to fall in love. “I knew I shouldn’t have fallen in love, I knew it! Diana you are so stupid!” she scolded herself. Diana cried herself to sleep.

When she woke up her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, just like her mothers when she was a little girl. She went into the bathroom and threw water on her face. Then she went into the living room, where she saw Jacob sitting on the couch. She had given him a key to her apartment. When she saw him she glared at him, and he asked her to let him explain. She dismissed him and told him that she let him into her heart and he broke it. She said she knew she should have never fallen in love, because all it does is ruin lives.

She left her apartment. She got into a cab and took it to her mother’s place. She had no where else to go. When she got there she debated about going in at first, but then decided she really had no other option. She rang the doorbell several times before her mother finally opened the door.

Diana and her mother talked for quite some time. Diana explained what had gone on and how Jacob had done what she had feared he would do all along. She began cursing love and all its forms again. Her mother shushed her and led her up the stairs. They went into her mother’s bedroom and her mother took out a box. Her mother asked her if she had ever heard the whole story about her and her father. Diana shook her head no; she had only heard bits and pieces.

Diana’s mother told her the story about how she met her father. She talked about what had gone on during their lives together. She showed Diana pictures and letters he had written her while he was away on business. The way her mother told the story made Diana’s heart melt. No wonder her mother had cried so hard after her father died. Her father had worked so hard to beat cancer, but was then killed by a drunk driver. Diana never knew her father had had cancer. At that moment Diana had such a great appreciation for what her mother had gone through. Her mother was a very strong woman.

Diana then knew how much her mother loved her father. She knew how strong a bond they had. Her mother made being in love sound so wonderful and magical. But as Diana listened to her mother describe her love for her father it was as if she was describing Diana’s feelings about Jacob. Her love for Jacob was just as strong as her mother’s love for her father. Her mother reminded her that even though love can sometimes bring tears, true love brings smiles along with them.

When Diana went home that night Jacob was still there. She listened to what Jacob had to say. It turns out that his sister was in town and they were catching up over coffee. So all Diana did was over react and make a fool out of herself. She told Jacob she was the one who was wrong. She asked for his forgiveness and he said he would always forgive her because he loved her.

So here sits Diana, fifty years later, in front of the fireplace with her husband of 49 years. She hated love growing up, but yet in the end she loved it. She had learned something valuable not just from Jacob, but from her mother as well. Her mother’s love for her father did bring tears, but only because she loved him so and she lost him. In the years they were together she hardly shed any teas. Diana’s mother had taught her that love only has to bring tears when it ends. And if you are lucky, it won’t end.

Diana thanked her mother for teaching her that lesson. And she thanked Jacob for saving her from a miserable life. Because not falling in love would have made her miserable and lonely. But falling in love made her happy and content. It gave her wings. She was lucky. And her mother was lucky as well. They both had that magical kind of love.