Summary ~ When a fatal accident occurs, many lives are forever shifted. Elizabeth must take on the challenge of a new role, and Tess must learn how to adapt to her new life.

Genre ~ Mark/Elizabeth/Tess/Kate

Disclaimer ~ Every person you have heard of before are not of my creation. The characters you have not heard of before are mine, although I borrowed their names from Centreville High School.

Need to Know ~ This story takes place in 2015. The last episode that applies to this story is April Showers.

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"I can’t find her! Oh God, I should never have left her! I shouldn’t have!" Kate sobbed, clinging fiercely to Elizabeth. "Why did I do that!?" she cried once more.

"Shhh, it’s alright Kate, it will be alright." She said, stroking Kate’s knotted mess of curls. She was trying desperately to try and make Kate feel better, as well as try and make herself feel better.

"I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to leave her, I swear Elizabeth. She made me, she told me to go! I didn’t want to!" Kate cried, her voice full of sorrow and regret.

"What? What didn’t you want to do sweetie?" Elizabeth asked, her voice soothing.

"We were in a room, and he was right there with his gun, and he went over to the other side of the room to look for other people. We were hiding and she had gotten shot in the leg! She told me to go! She told me to leave her! I didn’t want to go, but she told me to! God Elizabeth, I didn’t want to go!" Kate was now shaking fiercely, her body wrenching with sobs. "It’s my fault! I should have stayed!"

"No, no Kate it’s not your fault! You did the right thing! Tess is going to be fine, don’t you worry." Elizabeth said sternly yet sweetly. She too was in tears now.

Just then Mark turned the corner. He spied Elizabeth sitting with Kate, her head buried in Elizabeth’s shoulder. He walked over to where the two were sitting. He knelt down so he was eye level was Kate. "Hey Kate." He said softly while stroking her hair. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Kate looked over at Mark, her eyes full of tears. She said quietly, "No, no I’m not okay."

"They haven’t found Tess yet." Elizabeth stated, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Mark nodded his head solemnly. After a few minutes he said, "Well thank God you are alright."

Kate didn’t respond right away. She looked at Elizabeth, and then at Mark. Then she just let her eyes wander around the room, as if she was looking at something beautiful for the first time. She then stated in a firm voice that was also filled with sadness, "Nothing is ever going to be the same, ever again. Nothing." She then leaned her head back against the wall and didn’t move. Elizabeth looked at Mark, and then back at Kate. Kate was right; nothing was ever going to be the same ever again.

Elizabeth sat in the lounge staring at the wall. The rush of criticals had calmed down, and Elizabeth wasn’t needed. So she decided to rest up in the lounge while she had a chance. Kate had been checked over and she was fine. Just cuts and bruises. She was now talking to a police officer.

Elizabeth was told about a half an hour ago that the scene wasn’t completely contained. Three shooters were involved. One was taken into custody; the other had killed himself. The third had yet to be found. Elizabeth guessed that he was dead as well. She would be glad if he was; no one wanted to treat those kids, especially her.

The ER was still filled with kids and teachers being treated for burns and lacerations. The barrage of GSW’s had slow, and last she heard one was trying to be stabilized in trauma one. She had no idea if they succeeded or failed in their attempts.

Tess was no where to be found. Elizabeth hadn’t heard anything about her at all. She was told that they couldn’t go in and search the area Kate said Tess should be until they had the third gunman in custody or knew he was dead. But another officer had told Elizabeth that the SWAT team could go in if they felt it necessary. She prayed they would; not knowing whether or not Tess was alright was killing her.

She sat in the lounge for what felt like forever. She tapped her feet against the floor and drummed her fingers against her water bottle. She glanced at the clock. It read 5:36. If it had been any other day Elizabeth would be heading home in an hour and a half. She would check Michael’s homework and wash dishes with Julia. Kate would do her homework in the dining room and Tess would once again retreat into her room. Things would be normal again. Normal? That had Elizabeth completely puzzled. For months her life had been anything but normal. Normal to her was two kids under one roof, and not having to worry about Tess and Kate. But now she was calling her life for the past two months normal? At that moment Elizabeth longed to have Tess lock herself in her room and yell at Elizabeth. At least then she knew Tess was safe. She knew she was alive. She knew where she was everyday. If that was normal, Elizabeth wanted it back.

Elizabeth looked at the clock again. It was now 6:09. She didn’t even realize she had been sitting there for so long. Elizabeth didn’t care. She was perfectly content to sit in that lounge all night.

Elizabeth heard the wail of sirens nearing the hospital. She silently prayed that she wouldn’t be asked to help. She didn’t want to help. She just wanted to sit. Suddenly the lounge doors were pushed open and Kerry stepped in. She quickly said, "They found her, they found Tess."

Elizabeth practically jumped out of her seat. They found her? She breathed a sigh of relief. But then she realized that her being found didn’t mean she was okay. What if she was dead? Elizabeth wanted to ask Kerry that question then and there, but she couldn’t find the words. Luckily, she didn’t have to ask.

"She’s alive, but very critical" Kerry told her.

"Where is she?" Elizabeth asked

"They are pulling up right now." Kerry said. Kerry turned and walked out the door and Elizabeth followed. A gurney was pushed through the double doors, and on it lied Tess. She was barely conscious and her face was streaked with dry blood. Whether it was Tess’ or someone else’s, Elizabeth had no idea.

Elizabeth yelled to Randi to get Mark. She ran with Kerry into trauma two. She kept talking to Tess, telling her she was going to be alright. Tess, of course, did not respond. At one point Tess looked up at Elizabeth, but she didn’t speak any words.

Tess needed to be intubated, and fast. They also had to put in a chest tube. They discovered that Tess had been shot twice. One time in the leg, the second time in the lower part of her abdomen. Tess was in bad shape.

They worked on her for what felt like hours. Several times Kerry asked Elizabeth to leave, seeing as Elizabeth was probably not in a good state of mind to be working on a loved one. Elizabeth refused each time. She was going to see Tess through.

At one point Tess went into V-Tach. When Elizabeth heard those machines beep it was the single most terrifying moment of her life. She was so afraid that Tess was going to die right there. In her care. Elizabeth refused to let that happen, and they got her back to normal sinus rhythm.

Now Elizabeth sat in the surgical waiting room with Mark. Romano refused to let Elizabeth assist in Tess’ operation. Elizabeth put up quite a fight, but eventually gave in. So she called Julia to let her know what was going on. She then returned to the waiting room, where she would spend many hours.

She sat in the brown chairs looking at the poorly painted walls. Mark had offered her coffee, but Elizabeth couldn’t bring herself to eat or drink. She knew she would just throw it back up. She didn’t say anything for about an hour. Finally she broke down. She put her head in her hands and let everything out.

She began to cry. Not out of sadness, but out of fear. Mark tried to comfort her. He rubbed her shoulders and stroked her hair. Elizabeth sighed and said, "Oh God Mark, what if she dies? What if she is dead right now? Then what do we do?" she asked helplessly.

"Elizabeth, don’t talk like that." He said. "She is going to be just fine, don’t worry."

"But I am worried! How could I not be worried! She was shot, twice! She is close to death! She is fourteen years old and she is as close to death as they come! How could I not worry!" she said, almost yelling.

"You’re right, you should be worried. But Elizabeth, telling yourself she could be dead isn't going to help at all. If anything, it is going to make things worse." Mark told her.

Elizabeth didn’t reply. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She finally said, "They trusted us, Mark. They trusted us to take care of their girls and look at what has happened. Tess is being operated on for gunshot wounds; Kate is down talking to a physiatrist. We are waiting to see if their daughter is going to die. God, Doug and Carol trusted us with their daughters, and look at what has happened." Elizabeth said in exasperation.

"Yeah, but we had nothing to do with that. This isn't your fault; it could never be your fault. Those boys are the reason Tess is in there. It has nothing to do with us, at all. And you know that." Mark tried to reassure her.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but I still…I just…it’s just so hard." Elizabeth sighed. Just then the doors opened and in walked Robert Romano. Elizabeth stood up quickly. She was so afraid of what he was going to say. She knew that in one second he could change her world forever. Everything depended on what Romano said. In one second he could shatter their world, or give her a ray of hope. Elizabeth held her breath, waiting for that second.

"She is stable." Romano said.

Elizabeth breathed out a huge sigh of relief. She was stable. She sat down in the chair and put her head in her hands. She smiled slightly and silently thanked God. She was stable. Elizabeth knew that being stable didn’t mean that she was out of the woods, but it sure was a good sign. "She’s stable." She said quietly to herself. Mark came over and gave her a hug. "She’s stable." She kept repeating to herself.

Tess opened her eyes. They felt heavy and sticky. Her vision was blurred. Her head was pounding. For a moment she didn’t remember what had happened or where she was. Then it all came back to her.

She looked down at her arm. She was hooked up to all sorts of tubes and machines. The kind she saw on television and the things she always heard her parents talk about. She tried to shift her body weight to the side, but it hurt too much. She winced in pain.

She felt like she was dreaming. She was having a nightmare. Nothing felt real; it was all so serial. She didn’t remember a whole lot from the previous afternoon. At least not the details. She had a vague memory of the event. And at that moment, she was kinda thankful for that fact. She knew she didn’t want to remember everything.

She glanced at the clock. It was 2:34 PM. It had been more then 24 hour since she had gotten hurt. She started at the wall for what must have been hours. The room was making her sick. It was so quiet, and she hated the quiet. The walls were sterile and the sheets bland. She hated it. She spied a TV in the corner. She absently wondered if it got HBO.

Just then the door creaked open and a nurse in purple scrubs stepped in. She smiled cheerfully and said, "Oh, you’re up!" Tess raised her eyebrows in sarcasm. Why did all the nurses in the pediatric ward had to be so perky? Good God, she wasn’t five. She didn’t need people to talk to her in a high pitched voice.

"I’m Virginia." The nurse stated. "How are you feeling?"

"Crappy." Tess answered. She shifted her weight from her right to her left side and winced in pain. It felt like some one was stabbing her in her side. "It hurts like hell."

"Well, we’ll just have to give you more pain medication then." Virginia said while changing her IV bag.

Tess didn’t say anything. Virginia changed the IV’s and gave Tess a new pillow. She made some markings on her chart and scribbled down some orders. She then looked up at Tess and smiled. Tess didn’t respond, she didn’t know what she was going to say. Finally Tess asked, "Am I going to die?"

Virginia laughed and said, "No, no you are not going to die! Sweetie, you are going to be just fine! You did give us quiet a scare down in the ER though. But you are going to be just fine." Tess breathed a sigh of relief. She felt okay for the circumstances, but one could never be sure.

Just then the door opened and in walked a doctor. When he saw that Tess was awake and alert he said, "Oh good, you are up."

"Yes, and I was just telling Tess here that she is going to be fine!" Virginia smiled.

"Well yes, she is going to be fine." The doctor stated.

"See darlin, nothing to worry about!" Virginia said as she left the room. When she had gone the doctor walked over to Tess and pulled up a chair. Tess became very curious about what he was going to say.

The doctor began to tell her what had happened to her and what they had to do to save her life. Of course, he was trying to put it all gently. Tess listened adamantly at first, but somewhere around ‘removed spleen’ she stopped paying attention. As the doctor went on and on about what had gone on, Tess became more and more grateful for being alive. She realized at that moment that she didn’t want to die. Sure, she still wasn’t crazy about Chicago, or her life there, but hell, she didn’t want to die. A few weeks prior death sounded like a pretty good option, but now she knew how lucky she was. She was alive, and she wanted to stay alive for as long as she could.

After a few minutes the doctor left, and Tess was once again alone. She was alone for about a half an hour, and in that time she just sat and thought. She thought about what had happened, she thought about what was going on at the school now, she thought about what she was going to say to Elizabeth and Mark. She just thought about life.

Tess didn’t notice that Elizabeth had come in. And Elizabeth knew that Tess didn’t know of her presence. Elizabeth shut the door and Tess looked over at the sound. "Oh, I didn’t see you there." Tess said.

"I noticed." Elizabeth smiled slightly. She walked over to where Tess was and sat in the chair next to her bed. "How are you feeling?" Elizabeth asked, obviously concerned.

"Okay considering, but pretty bad all around." Tess sighed.

"Did they give you more morphine?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yeah, but it hasn’t helped much."

"Just give it a chance to kick in. Pain is temporary." Elizabeth said.

"My mom use to say that." Tess stated looking at Elizabeth.

"Your mom was one of the smartest people I knew." Elizabeth smiled. Tess didn’t respond. Finally Elizabeth broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about it?" Elizabeth asked, not wanting to push Tess, but wanting to get the subjects out in the open.

"About what?" Tess asked.

"Anything. What happened at school, your mom, your dad, your sister, what’s going on with you. There is a lot to choose from."

"I don’t know, I just, well, I don’t know what to say really."

"That’s okay, I understand. I think that the fact that you are talking to me right now is big progress." Elizabeth smiled.

"Well, I don’t have anywhere else to go." Tess joked with a slight smile. Elizabeth smiled back.

"Well, if you don’t want to say something, then can I at least say something?" Elizabeth asked. Tess nodded. "Tess, look. I know that the past three months haven’t been easy on you. And I know that I haven’t exactly been easy on you. But I do care about you believe it or not. And when I thought you might have been killed, well, that was one of the scariest moments of my life. And you don’t have to like me, or like it here in Chicago at all. But at least know that Mark and I aren’t out to ruin your life, and that we really do love you. We have known you your whole life! Mark was there when your sister was born! So we don’t want you to be miserable, and we certainly don’t want anything bad to happen to you, okay?"

Tess didn’t answer at first. She just stared at the wall. Then Elizabeth noticed that she was starting to cry. "I’m sorry." Tess said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I’m sorry I have been so mean, I just miss my mom and dad so much, I didn’t know what to do. I just, well, I don’t know why I acted like I did. I’m sorry Elizabeth" Tess cried, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Oh, that’s okay Tess. I understand." Elizabeth reassured her while stroking her hair.

"I don’t want to die Elizabeth." Tess stated. "I know I acted like that would be the perfect solution, but I don’t want to die. I’m afraid of dying. After my parents, after what I saw. I just, I don’t want to die like that." Tess cried.

"Oh, you aren’t going to die! You are going to be just fine! You are going to get better and come back to our house and go back to school and be just fine." Elizabeth said, being careful not to use to word ‘home’.

Tess cried in Elizabeth’s arm for a little bit. It was the first time Tess had really let herself cry. She was crying for her parent’s deaths, for what had gone on in school, and out of anger for anyone who took someone else’s life. "Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?" Elizabeth asked.

"I don’t really even remember most of it, it all happened so fast. One second I was doing research on my report for World Civ, the next I was hiding behind a bookcase trying not to get shot again. I don’t remember what happened after Kate left. I guess I lost consciousness. Although I don’t think that that’s a bad thing." Tess cried. "How bad was it?" Tess asked Elizabeth, afraid of the answer.

"Um, nine students were killed, not counting two of the shooters who killed themselves." Elizabeth said as gently as she could.

Tess sat stunned and speechless. She didn’t know how to react to that. She didn’t know whether to be grateful she was alive or sad because others were killed. She finally asked, "Anyone I know?"

"No, no, I don’t think so." Elizabeth said trying to make her feel better.

Tess just sat there staring at the wall for what felt like an eternity. The pain she felt was no longer physical, but emotional. Nine people had died in school. Her school, which was suppose to be the safest place a person could be, had been the place where nine kids were killed. The seriousness of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks. And at that moment, Tess felt extremely lucky, which was a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time. Sure, she had lost both her parents, and for the rest of her life she would miss them. And sure, she didn’t exactly love the situation she was currently in, but she was alive. She was in a massive shooting and she was alive. She was lucky to be alive!

Elizabeth and Tess talked for a while longer. Tess told her what went through her mind both when her parents were killed and the shooter had entered the school. It felt good to get some of those feelings off her chest. She hadn’t shared her feelings with anyone since her parents died. But there she sat, pouring her heart out to the woman 48 hours ago she swore she hated.

That made Tess realize something. She didn’t hate Elizabeth, and she didn’t hate Mark. Of course, she didn’t love them like she loved her parents, but she didn’t hate them. She hated the man who got drunk and smashed his car into hers. She hated the boys who plotted the mass murder of nine of her classmates. She hated anyone who took someone else’s life. And Elizabeth and Mark were not any of those people.

Elizabeth left a few hours later, and Tess was asleep almost immediately. And for the first time in a long time she went to sleep thinking only good things about Elizabeth and dreaming only good things about her parents. She missed that, and she was glad to have it back. She knew it would take a long time to completely adjust to her new life in Chicago, but she had just made one huge step.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 9