*Disclaimer: I am completely obsessed with *N Sync and think they are a wonderful and talented band. The rest of the boybands, I could careless about. This is all in fun, enjoy!*
So, everyone knows that the pop scene is overrun with pop acts. Some who are actually talented *coughnsynccough* and others who aren't *coughbritneycough*. But, if you're in a pop group, or a pop act by yourself, it doesn't matter if you have talent or not. You just need a great body to show off and be able to kinda dance. But if you are a pop act, you also need the resources to reach millions of screaming fans. Your tunes are up-tempo, repetitive, and aimed at the general public. You are singing popular music anyway.
So, after thinking about it, I decided that boybands are Death Eaters. And after deliberating on it with friends, I have come up with evidence. Here is the list of the most highly suspected Boy Bands with the most evidence for dark activity.
Suspect #1: The Beatles
The Beatles were one of the top five greatest musical acts of all time. They had a fan base around the entire world, and started out consequently as a boy band. Those wonderful pop songs such as "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and "She Loves You" *yeah yeah yeah* were catchy, fun, and had completely empty lyrics, such as most boy band's songs. But these four young men from Liverpool caught the hearts of millions of screaming girls, and then took over the world. I think it was more to it than their good looks and British accents.
Voldy came into power around 1960. Fifty years from 1992 was when Tom Riddle was in Hogwarts and that was 1942. Give him twenty years to become an evil overlord and we have our Voldy circa 1960. The Beatles started hitting it big around 1960. Coincidence? I think not.
Voldy was looking for a way to control the muggles. So, naturally he decides to try the pop music scene. Elvis is making a big splash around the world, so why not make a British pop band? So, he travels around England, ends up in Liverpool and finds four young men who can sing. He tells them his plan for world domination, sounds good for them because even though he takes over the world, they become ultra-famous, über-rich pop stars. Hence, Paul, John, George and Ringo become Death Eaters and the Beatles are born.
They take the world by storm, take the hearts of everyone. How did they happen to accomplish this? Voldy decides that casting the Imperious curse over the audiences is the best way. The whole world is under the Imperious curse, buying their CD's, posters, lunch boxes and consequently supporting Voldy's dark ring.
After around 15 years, Voldy gets tired of the Beatles. They have done their job and he just leaves them alone. They were loyal followers. So, he and the rest of the Beatles searches for the perfect replacement. The world hadn't been hit by a good pop sensation in years. So, they search out the best one.
Well, Harry Potter had to screw up that plan. Voldy falls in 1981, leaving the Beatles to find the next pop sensation to carry on Voldy's evil plan. Knowing what Voldy would want, they search *minus John Lennon who dies in 1980* and don't find anything until around 1985 when they find the next set of suspects.
Suspect #2: New Kids On The Block
New Kids on the Block became a pop phenomenom in the late 80's - early 90's. They stole the hearts of teenage girls with their cheesy 80's sounds and smashing 80's good looks. The four remaining Beatle-Death Eaters found these five young guys and told them Voldy's plan for domination. The NKOTB were so star struck the Beatles were talking to them they agreed to anything they said. So, alas - the next set of Boy Band Death Eaters were born.
With a string of hits such as "Hanging Tough" and "Step by Step", and not to mention a Disney concert *which on a side note I remember watching in the third grade when my parents were out of town b/c they thought NKOTB wasn't appropriate for a 9 y/o*, the Beatles were proud that they were successful in their endevor. Well, NKOTB fizzled about as quickly as their popularity sky-rocketed, and their 15 minutes of fame were up. But, at least the Beatle-Death Eaters had tried and taken a whole new generation under the Imperious curse, thus bringing them to the dark side, those poor, stupid unsuspecting muggles.
Well, circa 1994, guess who comes back to power? Voldy! And he gathers strength and supporters and, since there is no Book 5-7, we have no clue when he gets defeated, so I'm gonna just continue on my rant. He spends the next few years after getting a body from Harry Potter collecting DE's and finally visits the Beatle-Death Eaters. He is quite pleased with them that they were some of the only true DE's and continued his plan. He was, however, very disturbed NKOTB didn't do as well as the Beatles did.
After touring Europe circa 1996, he hears of a producer named Lou Pearlman, who specializes in putting together and helping boy bands. He was currently producing a group called "The Backstreet Boys", but Voldy immediately dislikes them and their luke-warm sound. But he hears in Germany there is a new band who is just starting out. Therefore leading us the the third set of suspects.
Suspect #3: *N Sync
*N Sync got their big start over in Germany and Europe. Voldy decided to start home and work outwards. He went to *N Sync and told them his plan. They said whatever because they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with 12 y/o's screaming "I love you Justin!" and "Marry me Lance!" So, they easily drew Lou in with the promise of money and he was quickly hooked. So, Voldy had his next boyband.
After releasing "I Want You Back" and "Tearing Up My Heart", *N Sync started a fan base in the states, and coincidentally also had a very successful Disney concert. The Imperious curse started going out to fans there, and since then, millions of fans have bought ridiculous amounts of *N Sync merchandise, such as marionettes, fruit snacks, sheets, tin lunch boxes, stuffed bears, and lip gloss. *N Sync became über-famous pop idols, not to mention filthy rich, and Voldy started taking over the world again.
It came to Voldy's attention in 1999 that Lou was selling them out and stealing all the profits from *N Sync behind their backs. Obviously, Voldy had to get rid of him and 'Avada Kedavra'-ed his ass.
Voldy's plan to warp muggle's minds with the imperious curse and control them is working brilliantly. *N Sync was a far better success than NKOTB, and he projects they will be as successful as the Beatle-Death Eaters.
Others on the list of suspects include: Britney Spears, Westlife, 98 Degrees, Christina Aguilera, Dreamstreet, Will Young, O-Town and Kevin Bacon.
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