Greenlee: Oh, yes. Oh! Yes. Oh.
Jake: Are you serious?
Greenlee: Oh, I am very serious about massage. Claire, that is to die.
Jake: Yeah, right. That might be an option.
Greenlee: Justin, is he a little tight?
Justin: That's one way of putting it.
Greenlee: Jake, you have to relax. Justin's very good at what he does. Let him open up your chakras and release the endorphins.
Jake: Do you even hear yourself?
Greenlee: Totally.
Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. Oh.
Jake: Oh. You know, Greenlee, I don't think I’m cut out for this. Ow.
Greenlee: Jake, if anyone needs a massage tonight, it's you. Justin, do that thing to him where you massage his organs.
Jake: Don't even think about it, Justin.
Greenlee: Are you going to be fighting me all night, Jake? You're really messing with my Zen over here.
Jake: What, do you have a little book inside your towel with completely unconnected 20th-century buzzwords?
Greenlee: Oh, that's it, yes. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Jake: Oh. I'm telling you right now, this is a mistake, Greenlee.
Greenlee: Why? You enjoy being miserable?
Jake: No, no, I enjoy -- I enjoy having my clothes on when I’m trying to solve my troubles, that's all.
[Justin and Claire moan]
Jake: Why are you people moaning?
Greenlee: You, you big baby.
Jake: You know, I never should have let you talk me into this. There's so many things I could be doing right now. I could be reading -- lot of things. I could be home cleaning out my garage, doing something right now.
Greenlee: Oh, please. Send the "wambulance."
Jake: Oh, yeah, yeah. You're pretty funny, aren't you?
Greenlee: I'm pretty, I’m funny, and I am so happy right now.
Jake: So is this, like, the way that you deal with reality? Is this the way you pretend that the world isn't a problem, that you’re the sun and the whole universe must center and revolve and orbit around you?
Greenlee: You are a rip-roaring good time, Jake Martin.
Jake: Yeah? Well, believe me, I can be.
Greenlee: I rescued you from a pretty dreary pity party tonight. The least you can do is lean into this and feel the benefits of body work on the mind and the soul.
Jake: Oh.
Greenlee: You're a lost cause.
Jake: Why?
Greenlee: You're making Justin break out in a flop sweat, you're so tight.
Jake: Fine. Fine, all right? Justin, just massage away. I'm just relaxed as hell right now. Have at it, man. Dig in. Ow! Oh, gosh! Oh, man, I was just kidding. Oh -- oh!
Greenlee: Oh, yeah. Right there. Right there, right there, right there. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Jake: I don't even know how you do that.
Greenlee: Do what? Enjoy myself?
Jake: No, just all this emoting and everything you're doing.
Greenlee: I feel good, I say so. What do you do, write in your journal?
Jake: Ha-ha. Oh, yeah -- like, you think you really know me, but you don't.
Greenlee: Wrong.
Jake: Not wrong.
Greenlee: Yes, wrong. You spend every single waking moment of your life trying to live up to some ideal that no one except you has set for yourself, and then you spend the rest of your time feeling disappointed because there is no way you could live up to your own high expectations.
Jake: All right, all right. You know what? That's enough. I liked it much better when you were moaning. It was much more interesting.
Greenlee: Why can't you just go with this, Jake? I mean, what better --
Jake: Ow.
Greenlee: Gift is there to give yourself?
Jake: Ah. A pizza and a video.
Greenlee: Oh, man. You really do need my help. He's not relaxing, is he, Justin?
Justin: Nope, not a bit.
Jake: This is just such a -- the most self-indulgent waste of time I have ever seen.
Greenlee: You were having a rotten day before I brought you here. Admit it.
Jake: Thanks to you, I’m having a rotten night.
Greenlee: Oh! Do you always whine this much?
Jake: Ok. Don't you even go there, Greenlee, all right? I'm trying to relax over here.
Justin: Breathing might help.
[Greenlee laughs]
Greenlee: Man, Jake. You need a week of these.
Jake: Oh.
Greenlee: You're going to give yourself an aneurysm if you're not careful, doctor. What do you tell your patients who have too much stress?
Jake: Diet -- ow -- and exercise.
Jake: Well, frankly, this never even occurred to me.
Greenlee: Wait a minute. How many massages have you had, like, ever?
Jake: Including this one here? One.
Justin: Oh.
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