Title: Lovely
Rating: R
Pairing:Remus/Tonks
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these wonderful characters and I don't get money for this...I wish I did...

Summary: Someone suggested to me back at ArtisticAlley that what Lupin and Tonks needed was a good snogging session...Well, my dear, that one is for you!

A/N: If you haven't already noticed, english is not my first language (I'm french canadian), therefore, please try to ignore the few mistakes that might still be there in spite of my vigilant beta-reader, Marie-Hélène, who's a soon-to-be english teacher. (By the way, thanx sis!) This is my first HP fanfic completed and I think it's very fluffy...perhaps too much. But you'll be the judges here. If it sucks, I'll just stick to drawing! So here goes nothing!

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He wasn’t quite Tonks’ idea of the ideal man, at first glance. Of course, his charm was undeniable; polite, mild-mannered, clever, loyal... And his general looks could only inspire empathy and a certain animal magnetism... But it was his eyes, those bright amber eyes, which were captivating her beyond reason. From the very second she gazed into Remus Lupin’s eyes the day she was introduced to him, Tonks was fascinated. And yet, after over a year of close collaboration and growing friendship with the man, she still couldn’t figure how to tell him how she felt. No, he can’t be the one, he just can’t...Or can he?

‘Tonks, are you paying attention?’

Remus’ sweet voice echoed in her head for a second before she could regain composure and manage to mumble some ‘yeah, sure...’ kind of answer. His suspicious gaze was still lock on her and she felt herself blushing slightly as she noticed.

‘You sure you’re ok?’

Yes, yes I am! Just stare at something else, please!

‘Yeah, sure, go on...’

Remus gave her a little frown, obviously not satisfied but resigned not to investigate further more, and put his attention back to the large maps that were spread all over the floor. That night, he and Tonks were alone at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, while everyone else were at home or on duty. Their job for the past few days had been to go through an impressive mass of paperwork and check out maps to sort out every sign of remaining Death Eaters’ activities in the country. Even two months after their last encounter with Voldemort, which earned Tonks a pretty nasty injury, she wasn’t ready yet to got back to the field work, both because of her rather slow healing and her grief for...Sirius. Or should we say, Remus’ grief, which was probably as painful and confusing as Harry’s...
After last June’s events, Dumbledore had asked Remus to watch over Tonks as she recovered, more to give him something easy and rewarding to do than because she really needed assistance. So it wasn’t a surprise to her when Dumbledore demanded that she keep an eye on him, just to cheer him up a bit while he was facing the loss of the second of his closest friends. Of course, she looked forward to the task, mostly because the idea of spending more time alone with Remus was rather appealing to her...

So there they were, going through that boring yet necessary paperwork when Tonks got lost in her thoughts about Remus’ eyes...again. It was no use to deny it anymore; she was attracted to him, badly. Their mutual grief had brought them closer than ever on numerous sad and dark nights during the past two months, but neither of them ever dared to cross that thin line between friendship and something...more, mostly to Tonks disappointment. And right now, while Remus was muttering some uninteresting facts about some Death Eater sighting near Surrey, she had nothing else in mind than relieving one year worth of sexual tension between them...

‘You know, maybe we should get some sleep.’ Once again, Remus’ voice brought her back to reality a little too abruptly for her liking... ‘If you can’t concentrate, there’s no point in going through all of this tonight...’

He didn’t seem upset or angry; in fact, he was smiling kindly like he was just too happy to finally have a good reason to put an end to that boring stuff. Tonks bit down a chuckle when the sudden idea of seeing Remus throw all the maps and parchments in the air and running off to the kitchen to get chocolate and butterbeer popped in her mind.

‘What’s so funny?’ He asked, his gaze on the papers he was gathering

She blushed again. ‘Nothing, really. Just glad you’re not mad at me because of my lack of attention...’

‘It’s ok, he said, standing to put the maps back on the desk, it’s not like a big rescue mission, now is it? No one would actually care if we get this stuff done by tomorrow or only next week...’ Tonks could hear a bit of sarcasm and bitterness in his voice, which was kind of unusual to him, except when he was thinking about Sirius. However, he was still smiling when he sat back on the floor beside her, withdrawing his wand from his pocket.

‘Accio two butterbeers!’ He caught the two bottles and handed one to Tonks, his smile widening. ‘I’m feeling kinda lazy tonight...’

She grinned. Not a lot of people, besides herself, had the chance to witness a relaxed and funny Lupin these days, and she was kinda glad of being the one he opened his brighter side to. They both sat quietly, their backs to the side of the bed, taking sips of their drinks. There was something comforting about this silence. Letting the other wandering in his secret garden and yet being there if one expresses the need to talk. It was in such moments that Tonks felt closest to him, when she could cast rapid looks at him as he was lost in his thoughts, taking in his singular beauty, his young yet always tired face, his silky greying hairs falling loosely on his forehead, and his amber eyes... Now, tell him now... NO, what if he laughs at me? Ok, that’s unlikely, but still... I’m the clumsy Tonks, the kid who passed the Auror tests because of some miracle, the little girl who got knocked out on her first two minutes against the Death Eaters while Sirius was getting killed...Why would he feel anything about me? The only thing I can do right is changing my hair color...

‘Tonks?’

She almost jumped and instantly hoped that he wouldn’t notice.

‘Yes?’

‘Why are you still here? In the Order I mean...’

She was puzzled. What kind of question was that?
As he realized she couldn’t find what to answer, he clarified.

‘I mean you are still quite young and you surely have a bright future ahead of you. Why would you risk it to fight in here? Of course, you are an Auror, but you could do something less dangerous--‘

‘Remus please stop.’ She cut him off, turning her face to meet his questioning eyes. ‘I’m not that much younger than you and certainly not a child anymore!’ She felt the frustration rise into her, like a wave of panic taking over her body. A stubborn one, Tonks was... He thinks I’m not strong enough...
‘And I’m damn-well aware of the death threat hanging upon my head every day, but I chose that path and I surely won’t let you turn me down because you reckon I’m a poor little clumsy girl who can’t take care of herself!’

Now, he was the one looking puzzled. In fact, she let it all out a bit more loudly and tactlessly than she intended to. She drew her look back to her feet, too embarrassed to meet his gaze.

‘—Tonks, I’m not questioning your abilities or strength here, I’m questioning your motives...’

His face was back to serious, his gaze locked on her. Her eyes remained on her feet, her head buried onto her knees.

‘...They’re mine business to care...but you know that I lost almost as much as you to this war. I’m not letting my friends and family down on this—you more than anyone should understand that.’

And he did. His silence was speaking louder than is voice at this very moment. First, it had been James and Lily, then Peter, lost to the dark side, and finally Sirius. In the end, it was all a matter of choice: leaving for maybe a chance of safe and happy life, or staying to protect those who remain. Tonks made this choice, and so did he...

They looked away from each other for several minutes that seemed like hours. Tonks was now certain that she wouldn’t tell him tonight. Not after this. Why was he treating her like a kid? Was she just another student like Hermione or Ginny to his eyes?

Suddenly, she had the feeling she was being watched. She turned her head so lightly he probably didn’t notice her move. He was staring at her. Not with his usual gentle and almost father-like look, but through piercing, glowing eyes, like he was trying to read her mind. She allowed her own eyes to sustain his gaze, only to find a bit of sadness in it. In fact, it was almost pleading. As much as she wanted to ask what was wrong, no word was coming out of her mouth. It was his amber eyes; she was sinking into them as to catch a glimpse of his soul... She was drawn to them so much that she didn’t even realized she was slowly closing the distance between their faces. Then, he spoke.

‘...I just don’t think I can afford to lose you as well...’ He whispered, his eyes never leaving hers.

Oh my...Did he just say that?

‘...I meant to tell you that for a long time, now...’ He continued, his eyes darting from her face to his feet, but it was just never the good time...And after what happened to Sirius, I was almost certain I would never let you know.’ She opened her mouth to say something, but he raised one hand to stop her. ‘Please, Tonks, let me finish. See, all my life I forbid myself to get too close to anyone, because of what I was, in the fear of hurting someone... And yet, even if I managed to never really hurt anyone myself, almost every people I really cared about had been taken from me....’

He took a deep breath before going on.

‘Now more than ever, I feel like I should hide myself from the rest of the world, just that nobody would be harmed anymore... But I can’t. And it’s killing me inside because my fear of losing you to this war is as great as the fear of never being able to tell you how I feel...’

Her eyes were probably going dryer by the minute because she couldn’t even blink. Thoughts were racing through her mind, swirling and colliding with each other; but still, only one managed to get ahead of the lot... It’s now or never...Tell him.

‘Remus, there’s something I want you to know...’ She wasn’t sure he heard the last words right because she trailed off a bit in the end, finding that simple phrase took more of her energy and will than fighting ten Death Eaters...

A little frown from him told her she had been heard just right.

‘I...er...I just...’ The words wouldn’t come out and she could feel sweat droplets running down her back. Then something happened. Remus grabbed her hand, slowly and very gently, intertwining his fingers with hers... Then she found nothing to say at all. A wave of heat enveloped her whole body and a bunch of very interesting though highly improper thoughts ran into her mind. She put one hand on the ground to get closer to him. His face was now inches from hers, she could feel his soft breath, his lips so close to hers now... then her hand slipped on a wet spot on the floor, probably a tiny pool of water from the cold butterbeer, and her forehead collided with Remus’ chin.

‘Ow!’ they both let out before bursting into nervous laughter. Tonks felt relieved and anxious at the same time. There was something there, she was now sure, but the incident kinda broke the mood...

‘...Sorry, she whispered as their laughter died out, I’m such a catastrophe...’

‘I think you’re lovely.’

She was kinda caught off guard. Ok, now there was DEFINITELY something here! More than she expected anyway. When exactly did she become lovely? She dared looking at him. He said it very seriously but he was smiling, the most sincere smile she had ever seen on him. And his eyes… The amber was glowing brighter than ever, with a hint of anticipation and, yes, she could see it...desire.

Whoa!

‘...Wha--’

‘...I think you’re lovely when you change your hair color’, he cut her off, smiling widely and leaning closer to her face. ‘When you make the kids laugh by changing your nose...You’re lovely when you break something by accident, or when you try to catch a glimpse of me when you think I don’t notice...’

Tonks eyes widened and she blushed violently. Oops, busted!

‘You’re lovely when you comfort me, when you say everything is gonna be ok... You’re lovely when you’re happy, or sad, or angry...Even when you’re not paying attention to what I say!’

She giggled uncontrollably.

‘...I think you’re lovely in everything that you are, but most of all, you’re lovely tonight, with your pink hair and that little bump on your forhead...'

Tonks’ heart felt like it was about to burst. A heavy silence fell between them. Dark eyes met amber ones...The tension they had built over the last year could be felt in the thick, hot atmosphere. There was no turning back now; if they were to die tomorrow, to the hands of their enemies, they had to make tonight worth...
She broke the silence first.

‘Remus?’

‘Yes?’

She extended her arm to brush the little bruise on his chin with her thumb, her eyes still focused on his.

‘Will you kiss me now, before I do anymore damage...?’

He smiled, blushing lightly...As her fingers brushed his lips, he grabbed her hand and kissed every fingertip, so softly... Another wave of heat flushed through her body...She felt feverish...He leaned forward, his breath quickening, and their lips finally met. Shyly at first, as though she was afraid of making a wrong move that would earn them other bruises. Then, their lips parted and she deepened the kiss, every bit of passion finally bursting out... As they were hungrily exploring each other’s mouth, Tonks’ hands found their way under his unbuttoned robe where she could tenderly brush the scars covering his back. All the pain he had suffered for years could be felt upon that broken skin and she couldn’t resist the urge to kiss it all away...

Remus’ lips left hers to grant her neck and collarbone with the same attention he had for her mouth, his animal instinct taking over his usual mild-mannered attitude. Tonks could feel the wolf within him pleading to get out and claim what had been denied to him for so long, which, as a matter of fact, was quite arousing... Before she could even blink, she found herself lying on the floor underneat him, still clutching onto his back. When his hands ran under her T-shirt and brushed slightly the claps of her bra, she let out a surprised gasp. The realization of what they were about to do suddenly struck her. He stopped moving at once and she felt really silly when his puzzled eyes met hers.

He looked terribly embarrassed, like he just did something highly inappropriate. Just like a five-year-old kid who ate candies he wasn’t allowed... Tonks couldn’t help but smile at the boyish innocence his eyes reflected.

‘...Err...Sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect you...really...’

That made her grin even wider. Disrespect me? Some boys I knew would tear my knickers off with their teeth before I start worrying about disrespect! One thing for sure, Remus Lupin was a real, genuine gentleman. But from the even more puzzled look on his face, he had obviously not a clue of what she was smiling about. And then, it just came out. What she was struggling to tell him all evening but never succeeded to finally came out, just like that, naturally...

‘...I love you!'

His eyes fluttered wide open and his jaw kinda dropped, but he was speechless. Now HE was the one caught off guard! She took his face in both of her hands, put a light kiss on his lips, and drew back, losing herself in his lovely eyes, still smiling innocently.

‘I love you with all my heart, and I want you to make love to me, right here...on this floor. Hey, why not...?' They both let out a small chuckle. '...I don’t care if Voldemort kills us both tomorrow or if the world falls apart; tonight it’s just you and me... and this floor....I’m certainly not wasting it...’

He gazed into her eyes with a mix of amazement, deep affection and pure lust. One pretty effective mix, indeed.

‘...I love you too...’

The amber in his eyes glittered with even more passion and hunger than before, but there was something else, perhaps way more important; love. They both felt it at this very moment. Against reason and with an ever-growing death threat upon their heads, they loved each other, purely, simply and totally...

Remus pulled her mouth to his and kissed her more passionately than ever. As she was once again laid on the floor, she didn’t even bother with clothing anymore, working as hard as she could to pull his robe and shirt off his shoulders while he was pulling her own T-shirt over her head...

In a matter of seconds, they where both naked on the room floor, in each other’s arms. No more words were spoken when they caressed every square inch of each other’s bodies, when they kissed hungrily all their fears away, and when they made love until the sun broke through the curtains...

No words were spoken, but Tonks, the clumsy yet lovely pink-haired metamorphmagus was quietly thanking God for this man, though probably not quite the image of the ideal man she used to have, but surely the man she could no longer imagine her life without...

Thank you for this man and thank you for this night... Because tonight, nothing else matters...Tonight, there’s no tomorrow...

Fin

R/R Please! Kinda sappy ending but hey, they needed to get some, didn't they? ;o)