--The Tigger Movie, 1999
the warm liquid
enveloping my fingertips
oozing into my palm
slithering down my wrists
and him yelling:
'C'mon girl,
open up!
and ride those fingers,
C'mon boy,
make that bitch come!'
I tore away the darkness
looked upon my 'cousin'
her dressed hoisted above her hips
panties to her ankles
forgotten in ectasy
as tears stream down
my face
Him hovered over
drops of warm, white liquid
flew and formed
strewn puddles
on the cool-tiled floor
Dragged from the washroom
thrown on a bed
pushed on my back
stripped and tied
chocked on cat biscuits
forced down my throat
his mocking laughter lingers in my mind
I will corner these thoughts
behind a wooden door
in my mind
'He maketh me lie down in green pastures...'
Smoke swirled
wood burned
flames cackled
glass burst beyond
the breaking point
flying like his semen
shattered into diamond peices
the odor
of singed pinfeathers
would still make me vomit
on that cold January afternoon
as the last reminder
of him
was lowered
before my dry=frozen eyes
Thrown ontop
of his pine coffin
a shovel of blackness
yellow roses i bought
and my childhood innocence
Now I am careful
never to light a sigarette
before I fall asleep
I cannot,
but love you botrh
as I sxit in my rented room
where I can sleep at night
and look at the lamp posts
luminious through the glass
pain of the city
which I have come to love
surviving day to day
keeping a distance
in miles and days
within a call's reach:
a call, I never receive
I look at my reflection in the mirror
and I see my mother
and I wonder
if I am the result
of the ravished beatings
she painfully endured
I am the miracle of love
susceptible to forgiveness
like an unexpected summer shower
