The Dalai Lama, never having seen Basic Instinct, checks to see what all the fuss was about.

The price of Congressmen is up to $1.76/gallon. Washington lobbyists are livid.

Nigerian Information Minister Jeri Gana refuses a game of patty-cake with Secretary of State Colin Powell

In order to prove his company isn't in financial straits, Steve Jobs vows to balance a large plastic apple on his finger for 72 hours.

Kinderdate, a computer speed dating service for preschoolers, debuts in Los Angeles.

THE WEEK IN PICTURES

Art critics worldwide suddenly realize that Mondrain paintings are stupid. "We payed how much for this?" laughs one collecter.

Billionare investment guru Warren Buffet leaves the Washington Redskins to once again try his hand at baseball. In his first game with the Cincinatti Reds minor league affiliate, Buffett went 0-4 and committed 6 errors before being pulled.

Dick Cheney is asked to do his now-famous impression of the President.

President Bush began an argument with his dog Barney, whom witnesses say the President had mistaken for House Speaker Dennis Hastert. Secret Service officials say that Bush was calling the dog "a bastard," not Hastert.

Looking for help from a higher power, head coach Dave McGinnis shows off the starting offensive line for the 2001-2002 Arizona Cardinals.

Arkansas resident Larry Franklin wishes he hadn't had quite so much Guiness and cabbage the previous evening.

Delta CEO Leo Mullin gives a speech on airline safety seconds before he is killed by a crashing 747.

BLESS YOU, MR. PRESIDENT

During a visit to a hydroelectric plant, Mr. Bush asks where the cappuccino comes out, then looks confused as people laugh.

Mr. Bush and EPA Secretary Christine Todd Whitman are forced to smell what they're shoveling.

BACK TO THE FROO FROO. HO DADDY HO.