Pitching

An ordinary lawnchair determined the strike zone.  Like different umpires, shairs can, and will be many shapes and sizes.  Ingeneral, any pitch that hits any part of the lawnchair, except the legs, is a strike.  A can of some sort (usually beer, but fresca cans are okay too) is placed on the seat of the chair.  If the ball hits the can the batter is automatically out regardless of the count in the at-bat.

Pitchers may pitch as fast or as slow as they wish.  However, a pitcher cannot pitch more than three innings in a row.  The pitchers mound will distance 40 ft from home plate.

A player records a strike out if he has two strikes and foul tips the third strike into the strike zone.

A walk is issued after a batter gets a count of five consecutive balls.  However, once a pitcher records a strike, the ball count is reset to zero.  Hitting a batter is funny no matter how many times it occurs, especially fat kids.  It is encouraged.

Any pitch that lands beyond the backstop, and does not hit the ground first is considered a wild pitch.  Nothing happens.

Any pitch that hits the batter in the ass is referred to as an Assball.  Three Assballs in a row and the pitcher must drink a beer.