New Rules

Chapter Seven

Everything was dark and fuzzy, hazy shapes at the edge of consciousness as Elijah fought to wake up. Yep, there were definitely noises coming from one of the other rooms. He hauled himself out of bed, scratching under his arm and yawning as he went to investigate.

"Orli you wanker, what are you doing home? Are you sick or have they had enough of you at last?" he called, rubbing his belly as he opened the living room door.

He took a step into the room and was faced with Orli’s mother standing on a chair, a curtain half hooked up onto the rail. For a long moment they just stood, staring at each other.

"Mrs Bloom," Elijah mumbled, suddenly very aware of only wearing a ratty old t shirt and Thunderbird boxers. He offered up a silent prayer that he didn’t have his normal morning erection. "I didn’t know you were here," he said pointlessly.

"And I didn’t realise you’d be here," she said in a cold, hard voice as she hooked up the last two clips on the curtain and got down. "Do you always spend the day asleep while my son is at work?" She glanced behind Elijah although all she could see from there was the half open door to the bedroom. "But then perhaps you weren’t asleep or even alone."

The flare of resentment woke Elijah up completely. He felt his face tighten and the string of invectives ready to spew out; but he bit it back. This was Orli’s mother after all, he had to make an effort, he had to do things differently. No matter how much he wanted to tell her to fuck off and no matter how much it went against the grain.

"I’ve got a temp job cleaning offices, early in the morning. If I don’t get a couple of extra hours kip during the day I’m asleep by nine o’clock and I hardly see Orli." What business was it of hers? He never explained himself to anyone ever; why should he?

For Orli’s sake. He’d do it for Orli.

"Oh," she said, packing up her things. "I didn’t know that."

No of course she didn’t know, even though Elijah was sure he’d mentioned it at one of the Sunday lunches. He stood and watched her, nervously biting at a finger, not knowing what else to say.

"I’ll get out of your way so you can go back to bed. Tell Orli I’ve taken the old curtains, his dad can use them as dustsheets." She picked up her bag and laid her jacket over her arm as she headed for the front door.

Elijah followed her, not sure what else to do. Just get her out of the way and his skin might stop itching.

As she reached for the latch she turned back, caught in the same air of awkwardness as Elijah. Her eyes flicked over him, a faint hint of disgust not so well hidden at the back. "Why on earth is it you of all people that makes him smile?" she muttered just under her breath, shaking her head in wonder.

And Elijah was hit with a picture of Orli of late, that faraway look of something on his face, that… "Mrs Bloom," he called out before he even thought about it. She stilled and looked at him expectantly. Now what did he say? He never asked for help, never, and especially not when it came to Orli.

"What’s Friday?" he blurted it out before he had time to change his mind. Then he saw the look of confusion on her face. "I mean, I know something happens on Friday, something to do with Orli, only I don’t know what and I…"

And he what? If Orli had wanted him to know, he’d have told him. He shouldn’t be asking Orli’s mother. Only he had and now she was looking at him differently. He tried to work it out. There’d been confusion at first and then a faint tinge of alarm and then… pity. He’d seen that look before and he didn’t like it.

"Doesn’t matter," he turned away. "I don’t suppose it’s any of my business. Just let yourself out."

"Elijah," Yvonne called softly. "I…" and now it was her turn to look uncomfortable. "What has Orlando told you?"

He stood in the doorway from the hall to the kitchen, fists balled at his sides, head held high against the humiliating admission. "Nothing."

"So how do you know?"

"Because he’s… miserable." A flush of panic spread up his face followed by an icy coldness.

"He’s not miserable, believe me I’ve seen him miserable, he’s just a bit sad."

"Why?" She’d either tell him or she wouldn’t. He’d sunk this low he might as well find out why.

"Because Friday is Shane’s birthday," she said slowly.

"Oh." What else did you say to that? Elijah walked silently over to one of the kitchen chairs and flopped down. He’d asked and now he knew. Perhaps Orli had been right, perhaps it would have been better if he hadn’t.

For a full minute all he could hear was the ticking of the clock and then Yvonne moved past him and started making tea.

He thought she’d left.

He didn’t look up until she placed a steaming mug in front of him and sat down opposite. "Friday is Shane’s birthday," she repeated. "And they always made a big deal of it, more than Orli’s birthday or any other day. They met on Shane’s birthday and, I don’t know, I guess it was special for them. Orlando has always found it a difficult time ever since Shane died."

Elijah looked up, eyes huge and hollow, but didn’t say anything as a million emotions flashed beneath a blank face.

Yvonne pushed her untouched cup away and got up. "I thought you should know, maybe that was a mistake."

"What should I do?" Again he’d said it without thinking and now it was out there along with all his fears and he felt more naked than he ever had in his life.

"This isn’t about you Elijah," Yvonne rested her hand on the back of her chair. "It’s about Orli and how he feels."

"I know, I just want…" What did he want? "To make him feel better."

"No, what you want is to take him to bed and make him forget all about Shane, but that isn’t going to happen."

"It isn’t!" Elijah cried, and Yvonne saw it, the crack in the wall he built around himself. For a split second she saw behind the mask into confusion and pain behind.

"What do you want then?" she asked a little more kindly.

"I want him to be happy and he can’t do that if he forgets about Shane." Yvonne looked into round eyes and, for the first time, and completely against her own instinct, thought she saw honesty.

"Is this one of your games?" she asked.

"What? Wanting him to remember Shane? No, it’s no game. It’s just Orli is…" he hesitated, squirming in his seat not knowing how to explain things. Not knowing if he wanted to explain. "Orli has to remember because Shane is part of him."

"And you want that?" she questioned. "You want Shane to stay part of Orli, this isn’t some twisted manipulation on your part?"

Elijah sat back in his chair and looked at her thoughtfully. "Mrs Bloom I know what you think of me and you have every right to do so. I’ve done some nasty things to your family but, believe me, I’ve done a lot worse to other people. I’ve done stuff that you couldn’t even imagine and sometimes just for the hell of it; because I could. I have no right to ask you to believe anything I say but you should know this, Orli’s different and I won’t hurt him."

For a minute she stood staring at him, then suddenly she sat back down, her arms crossed on the table in front of her. "Why? Why is Orli so different?"

"I…" and again he ground to a halt. How could he explain to anyone else how he felt when he didn’t understand it himself? "I dunno, I just… oh fuck it, I don’t know. He just is different, I can’t explain it," he threw out his hands in defeat.

"Is it because of the cancer? That he took you in and was there for you when you needed someone?" There was a tinge of regret in her voice, after all she was the one that asked Orli to let Elijah stay.

Elijah shook his head, completely sure about something for once. "No, it not that. The cancer really terrified me, much more than I’d expected, but…" He looked at Yvonne wanting her to understand. "I’d have got through it on my own, god knows how, but I would have. Even so I’m incredibly grateful that Orli was there. On my own I might have been alive but I’d have been so twisted up and… Orli got me through it with my sanity intact."

"And that’s why he’s different?"

"No," Elijah hunched his shoulders and bit at his finger while he tried to find the right words. "The way he acted with me then was just an example of how he’s different, it’s not… Shit, I can’t make you understand." He shook his head again.

Yvonne stared at him thoughtfully, her gaze not quite so cold. "Try."

Elijah glanced across briefly and then pulled his feet up onto the chair, hugging his naked knees in close, unaware of the gaping legs of his boxers high up on his thighs. He rested his cheek on a knee and let his mind wander, oblivious of the silly grin that slowly spread across his face.

"Orli’s different, I’ve never met anyone like him before. He doesn’t play games, slaps me down hard if I try, and he’s honest. So honest that he’ll do things that hurt himself if he thinks it’s the right thing to do." He bit at his lip, the smile fading just a little. "And he makes me look at myself honestly. He doesn’t allow me any excuses or any place to hide, Christ he can be a hard bastard at times."

"If he’s so hard why do you stay?"

"Because he loves me." Yvonne could hear the wonder and surprise in his voice. "And it’s not about sex, he loves me for… I don’t know why, but he does and it’s good and pure and honest and that’s how I love him. I’d be desperate to stay even if I wasn’t sleeping with him because - despite the fact it’s painful - he demands things of me."

"What things?" she said quietly, not really wanting to interrupt.

"He demands I’m honest with myself and that I do my best. No matter how many times I fail he makes me get back up and try again. He treats me like I matter and no one has ever done that before," Elijah was staring off into the far distance now, Yvonne almost forgotten as his eyes shone. "I won’t hurt him because he stands for things I’d never even thought about before. He’s too special for anyone to spoil."

"You talk about him as though he’s some sort of God, a hero figure that’s not real or fallible," Yvonne said, trying to work him out.

"Oh no," Elijah’s face split into an enormous grin. "Orli can be the biggest twat ever. You can tie him in knots during an argument, he gets worked up over nothing, sometimes he talks complete rubbish and he can be as dictatorial as hell. Add all that to the fact he leaves crisp crumbs everywhere and never cleans the bath and he certainly isn’t a hero. But he’s gorgeous and funny and intelligent and, did I mention gorgeous?"

"Now you sound like a love struck teenager," Yvonne smiled despite herself.

"Who me?" Elijah wrinkled up his nose in disgust at the idea, but couldn’t help the twinkle in his eyes or the grin stretching even wider. "Nah, I just… love him," he trailed off.

"All of him?"

"Yeah." An air of seriousness descended on Elijah. "All of him. Shane’s a big part of him and I love that bit as well, I don’t want him to lose it. Anyway, Shane feels like a friend now, I kinda like him still being around, even if it is only in sprit."

"Elijah," she looked at him seriously. "You need real friends, not a dead man you’ve never met."

"No," Elijah shook his head. "I’ve never had friends, I’m no good at them. I’m all right as I am."

"Well I suppose it has to be a positive thing, if you can accept Shane," she sighed and pursed her lips. "I’ve no doubt that if you made Orli choose between you and Shane he’d chose you, how could he not? But it wouldn’t be good for him."

"I don’t want him to choose Mrs Bloom, I want him to…" Elijah’s smile was back and Yvonne couldn’t help but return it. "Be happy," they said together.

Yvonne took a long drink from her mug of tea and then settled it back down carefully. "I’m glad we have had a chance to talk."

"Me too," Elijah admitted. "I’m not quite so scared of you now."

"You don’t have to be, but it good to know where we stand."

"What? That you’re still not sure about me but you’re not quite so worried that I’m going to hurt Orli?" Elijah put his feet back down and reached for his own mug.

"Something like that," she admitted. "I know there isn’t much I can do to you but I would never forgive you if you made things difficult for him, he’s suffered too much already, and you would never be welcome in this family again."

"I knew I was right to be scared of you," Elijah smiled ironically. " But… I’m not really welcome now, am I?"

"I’m not sure," she said honestly. "You’ll never make peace with Orli’s father, you’ve caused him too many doubts about himself."

"I know," Elijah shrugged. "I can’t change the past but I’ll do my best not to make it worse."

"I suppose I should thank you for that," Yvonne sat back and thought for a moment. "I’m going to have to accept you, Orlando’s made it perfectly clear you’re who he wants, so I should give you a chance. I’ll do my best to make you welcome and part of this family, if you…"

"If I promise to behave?"

"You’re not a child."

"I know but," Elijah ducked his head and blew out a long breath. "Sometimes I find it really hard to change how I act and I make mistakes. I fall back on instinct and do something stupid."

Yvonne saw the real fear of failure in his face. "Well if Orli makes you get back up and try again then I suppose I’ll just have to do the same."

"Are you gonna moan as much as he does?" Elijah grinned.

"Only if you deserve it," she said firmly. "And now I should be going and let you get back to bed." She started collecting the tea things up.

"Leave it, I’ll clear up," Elijah said quickly.

She headed for the door once more, stopping to briefly pat his shoulder as she passed. "I’ll see you on Sunday, same time as usual."

"Okay," Elijah swivelled round in his chair. "Mrs Bloom," he said quickly. "What should I do about Friday?" He hated to ask but… things felt different now.

"I don’t really know," she did up the buttons on her jacket and straightened the collar, thinking. "Perhaps it would be best if you just ignored it, especially as Orli hasn’t said anything."

He nodded his thanks and she smiled before leaving.

It wasn’t until he was making himself breakfast that Elijah realised it hadn’t even occurred to him to come onto her. He thought Orli might just be proud of him, not that he was ever going to tell.

+

Elijah tried, he really did, but he wasn’t very good at ignoring things, especially if they were important to him. And Orli was very, very important.

By Friday morning he had planned what he was going to do a million different ways. He was saved from making an immediate decision as Orli was still asleep when he left for work and Orli had already left for his own job before he returned.

Only one text from Orli during the day but that wasn’t so very unusual. If Elijah hadn’t known better he could have put it down to Orli being busy.

By the evening the elaborate dinner had been abandoned and the trip to a club forgotten. In their place Elijah had made a bowl of pasta and added a half way decent bottle of wine.

He was sitting nervously on the kitchen counter chewing the obligatory finger when Orli came in, pecked him on the cheek, dumped his keys on the side before going for a shower. He was still there when Orli came back, running a comb through his damp hair.

"Have you made anything or shall I open a tin?" Orli asked distractedly.

Elijah looked at the already laid table then back at where Orli was rooting through the fridge. "I’ve cooked linguine," he said jumping down and opening the oven door. "It’s all ready, sit down."

Orli emerged from the fridge, beer in hand, when he saw the wine already opened to breathe on the table. He pulled out a chair and sat. "That looks nice," he said pouring out two glasses as Elijah put the pasta and salad on the table. "I’m starving."

They ate for while in silence, Orli shovelling the food into his mouth and barely chewing, almost as if he was on autopilot. Elijah pushed his pasta around the plate and took another long swallow of wine. This felt… awkward. Not what he wanted.

Suddenly a smell of burning caught Elijah’s attention. The garlic bread. He dashed over to the oven and pulled it out. The plastic wrapper was a bit black but inside the bread was okay. Orli laughed as Elijah pulled a face.

"Don’t worry, this is nice. Are we celebrating something?" He asked casually.

Elijah froze, serving bowl in mid air. "I don’t know, are we?" he asked eventually.

Orli’s face flushed and then went deathly pale. "Fuck, I… do you know?"

Elijah nodded, unwilling to trust his voice. This wasn’t how he’d intended to introduce the subject, if he ever had.

"Who told you?"

"Does it matter? Everyone knew except me," and he really didn’t mean it to sound like that, so accusatory. He felt like a spy or a headmaster who’d caught a pupil lying. He’d wanted to be… quietly supportive? And this was anything but.

"Christ I’m sorry," Orli pushed his chair back and got up. He went to touch Elijah’s shoulder but caught sight of the two slices of his favourite cheesecake standing on the counter, the one that was so hard to get hold of. Then he saw the expensive bottle of brandy and the look of hurt that Elijah was trying so hard to hide and he couldn’t do it. Orli fled into the living room.

Now what? Elijah looked at the remains of the food and didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. He went after Orli instead.

Orli was sitting on the sofa, legs curled under him, a faraway expression on his face as he hugged a cushion close. He looked up to where Elijah was standing just inside the door. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a prat."

"You’re not a prat, you’re allowed to be upset," Elijah hesitated for a moment and then went over to the rack of cd’s and found the parcel he’d hidden behind it. "Here," he said holding it out to Orli. "I don’t know if it was the right thing to do but I made you this."

It was a long tube shape, covered in dark green paper and tied with a ribbon. Orli pushed the cushion away before taking the gift. He held it carefully and then slipped the ribbon off and opened it out.

It was a head and shoulders drawing of Shane. Not a copy of any particular photograph, more an amalgamation of them all but with an animation and excitement that was all Elijah’s. It captured Shane perfectly.

Orli’s fingers tightened, crumpling the corner and his face screwed up, the tip of his nose pinking. "Shane," he whispered once as his voice broke.

"Sorry, I got it wrong," Elijah took a step back but Orli’s hand shot out, gripping his arm painfully. Elijah was pulled down onto his knees in front of the sofa as Orli threw himself forward. The hand holding the drawing went round his back, the heel digging into his shoulder, as he was held tight. The other hand went from his arm to grip equally tightly round his waist onto his hip.

Orli buried his face against Elijah’s chest and held on for dear life.

Elijah stroked down the smooth curve of Orli’s spine trying to ease out the shuddering tremors. Dropping kisses all over Orli’s hair he murmured soothing words of nothing, having no idea what else to do.

Slowly the tension in Orli’s body seemed to ease and Elijah held him more tightly. Orli didn’t lift his head or move in any way so Elijah slid them both round till he was sitting on the sofa with Orli, picture still firmly clasped in his hand, sprawled over his lap.

"I’m an idiot," came Orli’s muffled voice.

"No you’re not," Elijah stroked his fingers through the strands of Orli’s hair.

"A fucking idiot."

"Not even a fucking one," Elijah smiled.

"You still love me?"

"Now you are an idiot," Elijah laughed. "A fucking great big one, of course I love you."

"Good," Orli snuggled down. "It’s been… a hell of a week."

"Don’t I know it," Elijah sighed as he soothed Orli into sleep. When he felt the steady rise and fall of Orli’s chest and heard the slow deep breathing, he hooked his feet up onto the coffee table, catching hold of the remote control to switch on the television. He wriggled down, settling Orli to his own satisfaction, and lay back sighing again.

A hell of a week.

+

Elijah felt Orli wake up when it was too dark to see properly anymore. Neither spoke as Orli reached out to change channels when the programme ended then pulled at Elijah’s hand, tucking it round himself. Elijah smiled and wriggled round in the warmth till his back was even better supported.

An hour later Orli sat up, his puffy face hardly visible. "I need a drink."

"A pint of cold water would be the best thing for you."

Orli pulled a face then stood up and stretched. "You’re probably right. Do you want anything?"

"Nah, I’m good," Elijah said, getting up and twisting the aches out of his own back.

Suddenly Orli stopped. "You are you know, good I mean." He ducked his head not looking at Elijah. "You’re… all right," his voice wobbled slightly.

"You’re not so bad yourself," Elijah said and headed out to the kitchen, groaning when he saw the mess.

"I’ll do it in the morning, it’s Saturday and… I can’t face it now," Orli said from behind him. "I’ve gotta go to bed."

"Okay," Elijah turned round but Orli had already gone. "We’ll do it in the morning," he switched off the lights.

In the bedroom Orli was already huddled under the duvet, the drawing carefully propped up on the bedside table. There were a hundred questions Elijah wanted to ask, things he needed to say, but Orli didn’t seem ready and now… And now Elijah wasn’t even sure he should sleep there, not tonight. Tonight was a time for Orli to think about Shane, he didn’t need another body in his bed.

But Orli was his now and Elijah would fight for him. Even the parts that loved Shane.

He crossed to the bed, dropping his clothes as he went. He’d sleep naked; he needed to, even if Orli had his t shirt and boxers on. Elijah climbed in and flipped off the light and suddenly, in the dark, he felt frightened and alone.

"Come here," Orli reached out, pushing Elijah onto his side and dragging him backwards. Then Orli was spooned behind him, hot breath tickling at his neck, hand warm against his belly and Elijah could sleep.

+

Elijah woke up to the smell of coffee and an empty bed. The drifting aroma made the lack of company just about bearable. He slipped on Orli’s dark blue shirt that had been dumped on the chair and, leaving it unbuttoned, went to investigate.

Orli was in the kitchen, yellow rubber gloves on his hands, scrubbing at a saucepan. "This is fucking ruined," he said as soon as Elijah was through the door. "What was in it, cement?"

"Pasta sauce," Elijah helped himself to coffee. "You ate enough of it last night."

"Why didn’t you put some water in it to soak or something? That’s what my mum says you should do."

"’Cos after dinner you fell asleep on top of me," Elijah didn’t want to snipe. He’d thought that this morning they could sit down over a late breakfast and talk. But Orli seemed to be spoiling for a fight, and what Orli wanted, Orli tended to get.

"Yeah well," Orli scrubbed harder. "You don’t have to use every bloody pot and pan when you cook."

"I don’t have to cook at all," Elijah said quietly. If Orli wanted a fight… but… but this was Orli, the one person he would make an effort for. "Have I done something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Orli swung round. "Just look at this place."

Elijah looked. It was bad, but he’d seen it worse. "So? I’ll clean it," he started to collect up plates and forks.

"Leave it," Orli almost shouted. "Just…"

"Just what Orlando? Just get out and leave you alone, what?" He stood still; waiting for the rejection he knew would come.

"Don’t look at me like that," Orli’s tone was harsh as he pulled off the gloves and threw them in the sink. "Don’t stand there all fucking…"

"What? What have I done wrong this time?" And Elijah really didn’t know; he wasn’t playing games or trying to do anything. He just didn’t understand.

"Don’t stand there like you’re the answer to all my prayers. You’re not the only one with problems you know."

"What does that mean?" Elijah asked but Orli was walking away. He caught him at the door, a hard hold on Orli’s arm. "What problems?" But Orli turned his head. "Is it me? Am I your problem?" Elijah couldn’t leave it like that, he had to know.

"You’re not the only one with a past," Orli straightened round to look at him.

"I know I’m not, you idiot," Elijah said softly but Orli wasn’t ready for softness.

"You don’t understand."

"Maybe I don’t, so tell me," Elijah said as Orli pulled away to stand at the sink. The silence in the room lengthened and Elijah’s heart sank. "I know about Shane and how you feel about him, I always have. I don’t see what the problem is, I’m not asking you to forget about him."

"Well you should!" Orli spun round shouting, and Elijah couldn’t help but take an involuntary step backwards. "Look at you with your perfect fucking skin and your huge trusting eyes," Orli loomed forward, grabbing at Elijah. His hand scraped up Elijah’s thigh and over his cock. The gesture was rough, harsh and Elijah sucked in a surprised breath at how good it felt.

One of Orli’s hands went round and under Elijah’s open flapping shirt to pinch painfully at his naked arse cheek, the other smeared across his face to grip tight in his hair. And Elijah was suddenly desperate to rub his cock against the hard cotton of Orli’s jeans.

But now wasn’t the time. Now Orli’s eyes were blazing. "You look at me as though I’m the dog’s bollocks," Orli spat the words into Elijah’s face. "As though I’m all you want."

"You are," Elijah whispered, meaning every word but also conscious of Orli’s thigh, just out of reach.

"But you deserve better than me, you need someone normal," Orli’s thumb pressed agonizingly at the joint of Elijah’s jaw.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Elijah couldn’t help but press into the touch.

All of a sudden Orli let go and took a step back. "Maybe you should just dump me and find someone who can give you everything you deserve."

Elijah heaved in a huge breath. "You mean that? You want rid of me?" Fear wilted his cock in a heartbeat.

"No, I don’t want rid of you." But Orli couldn’t quite look at him.

"Then what? Was that meant to be a joke? ‘Cos I’m telling you it’s not bloody funny."

Orli leant back against the counter, gripping it tight with both hands till his knuckles went white, and had the decency to look up. "I don’t want to lose you but I think you’re worth more."

"More than what?" Elijah demanded.

This time Orli looked him full in the face. "You deserve someone who loves you completely and isn’t still pining over some dead bloke."

"Is that it? You scare the shit out of me over something I already know," Elijah said incredulously. "Of course you still love Shane you stupid, stupid bastard."

"But I shouldn’t, I have you now."

"Oh fuck off," it was Elijah’s’ turn to be angry. "Of course you should still love him, he’s part of you, makes you who you are and you’ll always love him."

"But you should…"

"I should what?" Elijah stood, hands on hips, eyes blazing. "I should demand you forget everything and everyone before me? Do me a favour." It was his turn to move forward menacingly. Orli had nowhere to go as Elijah’s finger jabbed into his chest. "You’re a fucking decent human being and that’s why I put up with you, don’t start trying to be something you’re not."

"But…"

"Shut up," the finger jabbed harder. "You listen to me, the fact that you’ll always love Shane is part of why I love you. Makes me think you won’t forget me, no matter what happens, gives me confidence in the future for the first time in my life. Don’t you dare take that away from me."

Orli looked down at Elijah’s bitten finger where it pressed against his t shirt and suddenly smiled. "I don’t deserve you, do I?"

"No you fucking don’t," Elijah jabbed again, but half-heartedly this time. "I’ve been going out of my head worrying this last week, I didn’t know what I’d done wrong."

"You haven’t done anything," Orli said quickly. "It wasn’t anything to do with you."

"So why the hell didn’t you just tell me?"

"I didn’t want to wor…" But Elijah wasn’t listening.

"But oh no, you couldn’t do anything simple and sensible like that. You had to send me to hell and back." Red anger started to burn at his cheeks. "Everyone else knew and in the end I had to swallow my pride and ask your mum."

"You asked my mum?" Orli said amazed.

"Have you any idea how hard that was? And to admit I didn’t know ‘cos you hadn’t told me." The jabbing finger was back. "Can you imagine what a complete moron I felt?"

"Yeah," Orli said in something like awe. "You asked my mum. Wow."

"Why didn’t you just tell me?" Elijah asked again.

"It’s a bit hard to tell your new fella that it’s your old fella’s birthday," Orli said reasonably. "I know we said we need to be honest but that’s going a bit far. I didn’t want you to think, I don’t know, that you weren’t enough."

"Instead you worry the shit out of me?" Elijah’s voice rose a good couple of octaves. "Jesus Christ, aren’t we past that? I felt like I was going mad because I didn’t know what was happening."

"I’m sorry, I…"

But Elijah wasn’t listening again. "You thought I wouldn’t notice you were acting weird? You thought I wouldn’t care? You really are an idiot." Elijah pulled his hands through his hair, turning away but then moving straight back to get up close to Orli’s face, ghosting a full circle. "I didn’t know what to do, how to act. It was bad enough when I didn’t know what was wrong, but then when I did… What was I meant to do? Just ignore it? I had a million things planned but then…"

His anger suddenly dissipated and Orli was faced with an uncertain young man. "Did I do right? With the picture, I mean. Do you like it?" He looked at Orli, eyes wide.

"It’s bloody perfect," Orli said seriously, gripping onto Elijah’s shoulder.

"Sure? I mean I… I don’t want to intrude."

"Christ mate, you’re not. You have every right to be involved and I was wrong, I should have told you up front. But it’ll be different now, Shane’s gone and you’re here and…"

"Oh don’t start that crap again," Elijah pulled back. "Shane is too important, he’s part of who you are and I love every bloody awkward, annoying bit of you. Even the bit that loves someone else."

"You are…" Orli sighed, reaching out to run a thumb over Elijah’s cheek.

"I’m a wanker, just like you," Elijah smiled. "Let’s just accept it, we’re both damaged half-wits and we’re stuck with each other."

"I might not deserve you but I do love you." This time Orli did pull him close. "You do know that, don’t you?"

"Suppose so."

"What’s that meant to mean?" Orli looked at him carefully.

"It means why don’t you stop talking and show me," Elijah grinned.

"Oh like that is it?" Orli grinned back, his hands running round Elijah’s back and under his shirt, kneading and pulling at the soft rounded flesh.

"Yeah, just like that," this time Elijah didn’t resist the temptation to push his cock against Orli’s thigh. "Gonna show me how much you love me?"

"Not on the kitchen table again?" Orli smiled, already pushing Elijah back towards it. "Bit old hat, isn’t it?"

"Don’t see why not, it’s becoming a tradition." Without turning round Elijah swept the rubbish off the table top and hitched himself up onto it. He hooked a hand round the back of Orli’s neck and slowly let himself fall backwards till he was laying across it, the lower half of his legs hanging off the edge. "What are you waiting for?"

Orli looked down. The dark blue shirt had flopped out to the sides where it lay in stark contrast to Elijah’s skin. Orli’s fingers itched to rip it away and touch, touch, touch the flesh below, but that contrast… it was too much, the way the satiny edges pulled against the white, smooth contours around Elijah’s arms, the way the shirt tails just caught against Elijah’s thighs when he moved his legs up and out.

When he moved his legs up and out.

Oh fuck.

An extra bonus contrast between Elijah’s pale skin and his dark, engorged cock.

Oh double fuck. What was he waiting for?

He stepped forward, scooping up Elijah’s thighs and hooking them onto his own hips, running his hands down from a bony knee, up a smooth thigh and across the plane of Elijah’s chest. Jerking down suddenly he bit at Elijah’s nipple, not hard, just enough to let Elijah know. Elijah’s hands were unexpectedly in his hair, pushing his face down. "Harder, do it harder," Elijah ordered, pushing his chest into the touch.

Orli looked up, this was something new. Not so much Elijah’s wanting it hard or even his asking, he sure as hell knew how to ask for what he wanted. No, it was the insistent desperation in his voice that caught Orli’s attention. He bit again, a little harder.

Elijah caught the groan and pushed Orli’s head over to the other side. "Again," came the command. Orli bit, sharp teeth catching at the brown furrowed areola.

"Fuck," Elijah arched up. "Harder."

"If I do it any harder you’ll have teeth marks for days," Orli tried to joke but he felt Elijah suddenly go still. Smiling, Orli looked up. Elijah’s face was taut, no trace of a smile or even much sexual arousal, and his eyes were darker than Orli had ever seen them before.

"You say I’m yours, then show me, show everybody," Elijah’s voice dropped even lower. "Mark me."

"Have you gone nuts?"

Elijah’s hand cupped Orli’s face, his thumb trailing softly across the cheek. And then it wasn’t so soft anymore as the pads of his fingertips pushed solidly against the small bones underneath. "Mark me."

Orli wasn’t quite sure what was happening but wide eyes had him trapped. He dipped his head, closed his eyes and bit; his teeth missing the dark flesh to catch the paler skin surrounding Elijah’s nipple.

Elijah’s groan was a twisted distortion of sound.

Orli did it again, and again, trailing a line of nipping bites from one nipple back to the other as Elijah bucked his hips, rubbing his leaking cock against the harsh denim of Orli’s jeans, leaving a glorious damp patch.

Orli squeezed his eyes even tighter as his lips felt for a good grip of skin, then he slowly, methodically bit down his teeth pinching and grinding into the flesh.

He pulled back abruptly and looked, appalled, at the string of red teeth marks. But that wasn’t what scared him; he was terrified at how good it had felt.

"More," Elijah demanded, his own eyes screwed shut.

But Orli wasn’t going to do more. Start down that road with the aching, pulsing pleasure he’d felt and fuck knows where it would end.

"Do it again."

Orli wanted to, he so wanted to. He wanted to let go and bite and mark and posses and… He hooked his arms under Elijah’s legs and slipped down between them till he was faced with something he could fill his mouth with without damaging it.

In one swift move he swallowed Elijah’s cock to the root, glad that the pain, as it hit the back of his unprepared throat, was his. Okay to take it but not to give. Before Elijah could moan or argue he moved up again, teeth not actually catching but right there against hard, sensitive flesh. Suck hard at the tip and then drop down again, back towards the root, his face close to the curled hair as Elijah bucked.

Again.

And then again as Elijah thrust up for all he was worth.

Elijah’s fingers twisted down onto Orli’s where they held onto his hipbones. At first Orli didn’t register the strength of the pressure, just like he didn’t notice the ache in his back or his knees where they protested at the awkward angle. But then, as their hands slipped a little, he saw bright red marks that would surely turn into bruises. He tried to ease his fingers out of Elijah’s grasp but was stopped by the heels of Elijah’s hands hitting the backs of his.

Get it over with. Only thing to do; ignore the ache in his jeans and finish it as soon as possible.

Orli tightened the ring of his lips and scraped his way back down the length of Elijah’s cock, holding fast at the bottom where he squeezed with his tongue.

Elijah arched up off the table, his knees pressing at Orli as his chest heaved.

Orli sucked his way up, trying at the same time to arch his fingers out under the remorseless pressure from Elijah’s hands, and then quickly back down, teeth a hair's breadth from too much.

"Fuck, don’t you dare," Elijah spat out from behind clenched teeth. "Don’t you dare make me come."

"Huh," Orli lifted off. "I thought that was the point."

"No," Elijah lifted his legs off Orli and sat up ripping at the front of Orli’s jeans. "You’ve gotta fuck me. I need to come with you inside me."

Okay.

Orli could do that, fuck him just this side of painful and he’d be out of Elijah’s reach. No more hurting, no more marking and he’d get to come as well. Okay, he could do that.

Orli brushed Elijah’s fumbling fingers aside and yanked open his own jeans, pushing them down till they stuck just below the curve of his arse.

Far enough, that’d do.

He moved forward as Elijah slithered down to lie on his back once more, legs open, feet up ready for something to latch onto. Orli caught at the back of Elijah’s calves and in the next instant they were on his shoulders, no more encouragement needed.

Orli ran his hands down Elijah’s thighs and under him, clutching at the curve of his arse as he dragged him to the very edge of the table and skin smacked against skin. Ready.

He leaned forward pushing Elijah’s legs back and the curve and the space that opened up was just perfect.

"Shitting hell," Orli tried to stand up but Elijah’s hand was twisted painfully into his hair. "No sodding lube."

"Forget it," Elijah attempted to pull him in closer using his hair. "I can take it."

No.

No way. Just absolutely no bloody way.

"No," Orli twisted his head, yanking Elijah’s hand out at the cost of a few hairs.

"Just do it man!" Elijah demanded, tightening his legs on Orli’s shoulders and pushing his arse invitingly closer.

Orli couldn’t move, but he couldn’t do that either. What now? He glanced franticly around him. On the counter, just in arm’s reach was the tub of opened margarine. Thank god they never put anything away.

Grabbing onto Elijah’s hip, and ignoring his moan of protest, Orli eased them both over, stretched and just managed to hook the tub with his fingers. He twisted back and leant down to give Elijah’s bottom lip a quick nip. "Hold still, this is gonna be messy."

His fingers had scooped out a huge blob and he’d started to apply it before Elijah had a chance to say anything more. Then all he had to do was line things up and….

Orli looked down. His hands were back on Elijah’s hips and, in a gut wrenching moment, he saw there were new red finger marks overlaying the ones that had already started to turn dark. He froze and Elijah felt it.

"Don’t you dare stop, not now. I need it."

Orli closed his eyes for a moment. Just do it, like the man wanted. Do it and make them both happy. He deliberately softened the hold of his hands, lifted Elijah slightly, bent his knees and slid in on a long slow glide.

All the way.

All the way till his body was stretched up and over Elijah’s. He canted his hips, slipping easily against the margarine till he was nearly all the way out, and then home again with a gentle thrust as he moved his hands up by the side of Elijah’s head. Instinctively Elijah’s reached up to tangle his arms around Orli’s neck and they were almost face to face.

"Again," Elijah murmured into Orli’s mouth.

Orli was only too happy to oblige. And again and again and again and… Elijah’s hand caught at Orli’s face making him stop and look. The round eyes below him were clearer, but they were also frighteningly serious.

"’Lijah?"

"Not like that. You keep telling me I’m yours, now I need you to show me, show me properly."

For a long moment Orli felt as if the world had stopped. The noise of the traffic at the end of the road and the repetitive banging of the kids kicking their football up against the garage doors faded away. Inside the flat everything stopped, the hum of the fridge, the peep of the smoke alarm telling the world it needed a new battery, the smell of damp washing drying on the radiators, it felt like even Orli’s blood had stopped moving in his veins.

Was Elijah really his? Elijah needed to know.

And so did Orli.

Orli let go of any sense and reason he had ever had. He let go of the steely control that had got him through the last two years, he let go of the pain of losing Shane that was always kept so tightly locked down, and let his relief and wonder at finding Elijah flood through him.

He fucked so hard that the elderly couple in the flat below, if not the whole world, could hear how much he loved Elijah.

He fucked and fucked until there was nothing left inside him; no pain, no constant desperate longing for something, someone, no decency and normality. He fucked unaware of how Elijah was doing or even of the room around them. All that remained was his cock and Elijah’s flesh and… blue eyes open so wide that he could fall right into them.

He fucked until there was nothing left, no space between them, nothing unsaid.

He fucked until he claimed Elijah and made him his, losing himself in the bargain.

With an unexpected whimper of release Orli collapsed forward, his chest squashing against Elijah’s face, his lungs heaving with the effort of just taking the next breath.

At that moment, anyone who didn’t know him extremely well would have said Orli was crying.

Elijah expertly slipped his legs down to hook them round Orli’s waist whilst keeping him just inside. He smoothed his hands down Orli’s sweat dampened t shirt and wriggled round till his mouth was near Orli’s ear. "That’s better old man," he whispered, hands petting and patting. "That’s what we both needed."

+

Next day meant Sunday lunch at Orli’s parents again. Yvonne watched as Elijah fidgeted whenever he had to sit on the hard dining chairs, squirming and angling himself so that he was sitting sideways on half a cheek.

She was just about to ask what was wrong when she noticed Orli’s knowing, possessive smile and the fact that Elijah really didn’t seem to mind. In fact he positively glowed as he snuggled up against Orli, giggling.

She felt her cheeks pink and thanked God that her husband hadn’t noticed.

Eight