Chapter Eight

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Orli hated it when the weather was like this. He scowled, looking out of the bus window, knowing that the rain would piss down even harder as soon as it got to his stop. And he was right.

It was a ten minute walk back to the flat, five if you ran, but what did it matter? Two minutes in this and he’d be soaked. He ran anyway. Well, you liked to feel you were doing something and his leather jacket was keeping out the worst.

He shuddered extravagantly as a drop of rain found its way right down his neck.

He dug his key out of his pocket ready. Just round the corner, up the stairs and… What fucking idiot would sit on the steps outside the flats on a day like this? Orli lurched to a stop, his key already at lock height. "Excuse me mate," he barely looked down at the figure, but then something registered.

"’Lijah? What the bloody hell are you doing out here?"

"I forgot my key."

"So why didn’t you ring me or come meet me or wait in the café or… what’s the matter?" Orli crouched down in front of him.

Elijah was curled over his knees, his hair plastered to his starkly white face, soaked to the skin, shivering violently, his arms hugging himself tight as he rocked.

"’Lijah?" Orli lifted his chin. Huge drops rolled down Elijah’s eyelashes and splashed onto his cheeks. "What’s happened?"

"I almost did it," Elijah said in a hoarse, wracking sob. "I was actually on my knees unzipping his trousers. I had my hand on his cock before I realised what I was doing."

Orli felt the blood freeze in his veins.

"I’m not normal," Elijah twisted the word till it was a mockery of its meaning. "I thought I could change but, even with everything I’ve got now, I can’t. It all just comes back. I’m not just damaged, I’m warped." Elijah stopped, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wider than Orli had ever seen them and Orli felt….

What did he feel? He stopped and tried to work it out.

"Orli!" A cry for help.

Orli loved him. No matter what had happened; Elijah needed him and Orli was going to take care of him and… he loved him.

"Let’s get you inside, get you warm," Orli tried to lift him by the arm.

"No, you’re not listening," Elijah jerked out of Orli’s grasp. "You should get away from me, before I drag you down. Get away and stay safe."

"I am safe," Orli tried again.

"No! I’m rotten right through to the middle. Everyone was right, I can’t change," Elijah scrambled up a step away from Orli

Elijah was trying to run away from him. Orli felt a moment of full fledged panic.

"And you’re right, I’m not listening to this crap," Orli dropped to his knees, his face inches from Elijah’s, the fabric of his work trousers soaking up the dirty puddle water. "I don’t know what’s going on but I am not going to fucking lose you. Now either walk inside or I’ll drag you."

Elijah twisted his arms even tighter around himself, his face stiff with unchecked emotion. "I’m frightened."

"Of me?"

"No, never of you."

Orli slowly stroked a strand of soaking hair from Elijah’s face. "Then what are you scared of?"

"Of me."

"Don’t be. I know you and you’re amazing and…"

"I’m not!" Elijah scrambled away again. "I’m twisted and dirty and worthless and…"

"Hey, hey," it was Orli’s turn to interrupt. "You know I love you right?"

"You shouldn’t!"

"It’s irrelevant whether I should or shouldn’t," Orli inched closer again. "You know I do?"

"Yeah," Elijah said warily.

"And you love me?"

"But that doesn’t matter, you have to get away from me."

"If you love me you want the best for me and that means getting me out of this freezing rain," Orli said with quiet logic. "I’m not going inside unless you do, so?" He held out his hand and Elijah reluctantly let himself be drawn up the steps.

Inside the flat Elijah huddled against the wall of the hall. Orli walked past into the bathroom, turning on the taps for the shower to warm up.

"I’m not talking to you while you’re frozen. Get in while I make some tea," he said in as normal a voice as possible and stared at Elijah.

Eventually Elijah buckled and did as he was told.

Orli went to fill the kettle. He switched it on and then stood with his head resting against the kitchen cupboard and watched it boil. He seemed to spend a lot of time thinking in this position lately.

Elijah had been on his knees with his hand on someone’s cock.

Fucking shit.

Orli squeezed his eyes shut tight as a wave of nausea swept over him. His worst nightmare. Icy dread fought with red hot anger in his brain and belly.

Elijah had said he’d stopped. Hadn’t he?

Oh fuck.

Orli twisted round frantically, not knowing what he was looking for and then he stood still, hand over his mouth. It suddenly hit him, what he did now would make all the difference to the rest of his life.

He took three deep breaths and made the tea.


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When Elijah finally turned off the water and pulled back the shower curtain, Orli was standing there, the big bathrobe held open for him. He slipped it on, tied the belt and opened his mouth ready to speak.

"Hair," Orli thrust a hand towel at him and he dutifully rubbed at his dripping hair.

He tried to talk again but Orli was already walking away. Elijah followed.

"Sit," Orli ordered, pointing at the sofa.

Orli pulled up the coffee table, perched on the edge so his knees were just brushing Elijah’s, and handed over a mug of tea, pushing a half empty packet of biscuits towards him. "Drink," this time he added a smile.

Elijah drank till he felt his body start to warm from the inside.

"Now tell me what happened," Orli said softly.

"I’m scum Orlando," Elijah burst out. "I thought I could change but I’m still a sicko inside and I can never…"

"Whoa," Orli held up his hands. "I said tell me what happened. You’re a historian; I don’t want conjecture or interpretation, I want facts. What happened?"

"But I’m…"

"You’re gonna get your face stuffed with biscuits if you’re not careful," Orli stopped him. "Now eat one, get some nasty refined sugar in your system, calm down and tell me properly."

Elijah ate the chocolate digestive that was thrust in his mouth.

"Stick to facts," Orli warned before Elijah had even started. "What happened?"

Elijah blew out a long, slow breath, his damp fringe puffing up with the force. "I was at uni…" He stopped.

"I’d figured that out already," Orli tried to be helpful. "And?"

"I saw my social history professor, he was moaning because I was giving in my essay at the last possible minute and…"

"Hang on a minute," Orli interrupted. "Why were you late? You finished it ages ago, I should know, I stayed up half the night proof reading it. It was good."

"Because I try not to see anyone one-to-one, I always make sure it’s in a crowd or with someone else around. Only I could never catch this guy so I ended up in his office, on my own," Elijah explained.

"What did he do?" Elijah didn’t notice the dark, accusing tone in Orli’s voice.

"Nothing really," Elijah sighed, pulling the robe round him like a security blanket. "He was moaning, I was getting worked up, next thing I knew I was down, ready to suck him off."

"And he was happy with this arrangement?"

"More than happy, but so what?" Elijah asked. "I was the one with my hand down the front of his trousers."

"It means he’s a fucking pervert," Orli exploded. "He was willing to take advantage of his position of power over a student."

"Orli, you’re missing the point, I was on my knees."

"Did you do anything? Did you suck him or wank him?" Orli asked straight.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I’m with you!" Elijah cried, exasperated. "Because I don’t want to be like that anymore."

"And you stopped. So what’s the problem?"

"The problem?" Elijah spluttered. "I nearly did it, I don’t remember making the decision, I just did it. Pure instinct. I was so close, I almost, almost did it."

"I almost hit my sister with a cricket bat when I was a kid but reason kicked in and I didn’t."

"Orli! I was on my knees," Elijah leant forward and Orli could see an angry red spreading across his cheeks and down his neck. At least he looked warmer.

"And I had the cricket bat raised over her head."

"Oh for Christ sake," Elijah threw himself back on the sofa. "You’re a fucking idiot."

Orli slowly chewed another biscuit. At least Elijah wasn’t moaning at him to cut down on the amount of crap he ate. He brushed the crumbs onto the floor, surprised at just how calm he felt.

"I’ll admit I don’t like the idea of you on your knees… well, not for anyone else, and I hate the thought of you actually touching some bloke’s cock. But you didn’t do anything. Yeah," he rushed on before Elijah could interrupt. "Your subconscious thought about it but you overruled that and made a decision, just like I did when I didn’t hit my sister. You knew that’s not what you wanted so you didn’t do it."

"But soon as the going got tough I reverted to my old behaviour. My mum was right, I’m still the same inside. Fuck it, your mum was right. I’m just a sicko that uses sex and I always will be."

"Oh don’t you start being all melodramatic," Orli risked a grin. "I thought that was meant to be my particular fault."

"It is," Elijah said, but the anger was evaporating.

"Perhaps it’s catching," Orli tried another smile.

"Shit," Elijah rubbed at his face. "I thought you’d be going mental."

"So did I," Orli thought about it, screwing up his face and rubbing at his nose as though there was a nasty itch he just had to get rid of. "We both know how bloody jealous I am but… we also know I can’t carry on like that."

"But this time you have a right to be pissed with me."

"No, no right. The thought of you with someone else makes me go cold. I can’t seem to get past…"

Orli picked up the biscuits, trying to tear down the packet so he could get at the last few. But his fingers fumbled, the paper tore and the biscuit broke. "Fuck," he muttered, with more anger than Elijah had expected. He crushed the biscuit in his fist, his knuckles turning white with the force, and then, slowly, he unclenched his hand and watched as the crumbs trickle to the floor.

"I have no right to be pissed with you and I’m not," he looked over at Elijah. "What I am is full of admiration. All right you fell back into old patterns of behaviour but you stopped yourself. You didn’t take the easy route and I’m amazingly proud of you for that. You deserve nothing but my respect."

"Orli," Elijah bit at his lip, unable to go on.

"Here, have the last one," Orli handed over a slightly damaged, slightly cracked biscuit.

Elijah thought it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.

Orli took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Now we have to decide what we’re going to do about that professor."

"What do you mean?"

"You didn’t do anything wrong but he sure as hell did. Sexual favours for academic results has to be a sackable offence and he shouldn’t get away with it."

"Whoa," Elijah tensed up. "I don’t want the guy to lose his job. He might have been willing to accept but I was the one offering. It was my idea."

"So? He’s the one with the power."

"Orlando please, don’t do this to me," Elijah started to panic. "I’ve only been there five minutes, don’t put me in the middle of a fire storm."

"You want him to get away with it?"

"Yes. No. Fuck, I don’t know," Elijah flustered.

"We can’t let that happen," Orli said. "He’ll only expect more."

"Maybe," Elijah scratched his head and thought. "But we don’t have to go that far."

"But what else can we do?"

"Let me handle him."

"Oh come off it," Orli exclaimed. "Isn’t that how this all started? With you ‘handling’ him."

"Yeah, but that’s when I wasn’t thinking right," a confident, calculating smile came into Elijah’s eye. "But now… leave this one to me. I can deal with the professor."

"Elijah?" Orli was doubtful.

"Hey, trust me," Elijah smiled. "I can do this."

He’d said it flippantly, just a turn of phrase that didn’t mean anything. Only this time it did. "Trust me Orlando?" he repeated softly.

Orli chewed at his lip and stared at Elijah. After a long moment he nodded. "All right. What are you going to do?"

"Frighten the shit out of him," Elijah’s smile turned almost nasty. "Believe me, he won’t try it again with me or anyone else. I’ll put him off sex for life."

"But? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I know what I’m doing now. I…" he bit at his lip. "When it happened I just lost it. I couldn’t think straight and I ran. I think I’d shocked myself and I didn’t know what to do. I thought you were going to…." He puffed out a breath, long and slow. "But you didn’t and… with you behind me I can think right again. Do you understand? I know how to handle him without doing anything daft. I just have to think straight."

"I make that much difference?"

"Of course you do, you idiot."

Orli smiled, the grin slowly creeping up on him as though he were surprised by it. "It’s just as well I didn’t go bananas then."

Elijah grinned back. "I thought you’d go mad and thump someone, probably me."

"Nah, I’ll never hit you," Orli’s grin reached his ears. "But I could still be easily persuaded to hit him."

"Don’t worry, I’ll hurt him more than you ever could," Elijah slid forwards, his knees spreading till they rested alongside Orli’s.

"Are you casting aspersions on my fighting ability?" Orli let his hands wander towards the open edges of Elijah’s bathrobe.

"Well," Elijah hitched again so their noses were almost touching and Orli’s hand slipped casually inside. "You aren’t the greatest fighter. Mason is still laughing after you tried to take him on. You ended up covered in bruises and blood and he didn’t have a mark on him."

"Yeah, but I got him to sort out the garages. It’s all fixed now, there’s no water coming into mine and all Shane’s stuff is safe," Orli just ….cupped… Elijah’s scrotum, gentle fingers taking the weight. Elijah let out a cloud of breath and Orli felt it against his lips.

"The company that owns the freehold of the flats did that, they didn’t want any trouble," Elijah hooked his thumbs into the waistband of Orli’s very nice, very sensible work trousers.

"And who got them to sort it out?" Orli pushed Elijah’s legs further open and nudged into Elijah’s neck just to lick at his skin.

"You did," Elijah tilted his head and dropped his shoulder, exposing more white flesh as he kneaded at the taut skin over Orli’s hip.

"Mason may think I’m a wimp but he stays away from us now." He pushed both hands round Elijah back, inside the robe, and down to clasp each cheek.

"My hero," Elijah slid forward onto Orli’s lap as his arms went up to tangle around Orli’s neck, fingers burrowing deep into his hair.



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Orli’s belly rumbled, the sound disproportionately loud in the quiet bedroom. Elijah chuckled, a soft rumble in his chest as he lifted his chin towards Orli. Orli kissed him.

Again.

A long slow, languid kiss where lips rubbed gently against each other, testing the flexibility and suppleness, and tongues didn’t battle, just slipped and slid and danced over each other.

"It’s late," Orli mumbled. "We’ve been in bed for hours. We should get up and find something to eat before we fall asleep again."

"Hmmm," Elijah rolled over, hooking his leg high on Orli’s hip, his hands stroking across Orli’s nipple and onto his shoulder. He opened his mouth and waited. Orli kissed him.

Again.

A different angle, a new experience, a million feelings.

Orli rested a hand on Elijah’s hip, his fingers splayed out to ghost over flesh: the curve up to his waist, around to the small of his back. The small of Elijah’s back; yeah, a good place to rest your hand. His fingertips drew tiny, tiny circles with just enough pressure to move the hairs.

Yeah, a good place to be.

Orli caught his foot over Elijah’s, their ankles locking together. Elijah lethargically hitched himself up Orli’s body; soft, over-worked cocks brushing against each other in a peaceful, satisfied whirl of sensation. He burrowed in tighter, sighing as Orli hugged him close. He rubbed his nose against Orli’s cheek and Orli kissed him.

Again.

Maybe they’d eat later.


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Nine

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