Chapter Six


+

"Stop," Orli called, opening the front door just as Elijah was about to fit his key in the lock. "I’m taking you out to dinner."

"What now?"

"Yeah now," Orli smiled, shrugging into his jacket and shutting the door behind him. "Don’t tell me you’re not hungry, you’re always hungry."

"Now you mention it I could just about manage a stray cow or two," Elijah turned and followed Orli down the stairs. "Where are we going? Somewhere special?"

"Wait and see," Orli called as he slammed the main door of the flats against the wall and bounced out. Elijah had to practically run to catch up with him, the heavy bag and extra carrier he was holding banging against his leg as he went.

"Give it here," Orli said, taking the bigger bag and slinging it onto his shoulder as he marched down the high street. Elijah shrugged, if Orli wanted to play big and masterful let him.

He fell into step next to Orli, their hands just brushing, their legs perfectly matched. He smiled and suddenly caught hold of Orli’s hand, swinging it between them. Orli looked at him quizzically, they didn’t really go in for displays of affection in public, but when Elijah simply smiled Orli squeezed their fingers tighter.

Unexpectedly Orli stopped walking and Elijah spun round bumping into his chest. "We’re here," Orli announced and Elijah looked up at the sign.

"The Wimpy?" His smile grew bigger and warmer. "You’re taking me out to dinner at a crappy burger bar?"

"Yep, I know all your favourites."

"Oh it is," Elijah pushed the door open and made his way to a table at the far end of the window where it was quiet and he could watch the people walking by. "You can’t get a better burger than a Wimpy."

He slid in between the screwed down table and chair and reached for the laminated menu. The place was just as it always was, gaudy colours, plastic flowers, tomato shaped sauce container on the table, proper metal knives and forks and real plates. It beat eating out of boxes any day.

Orli ordered; delighting Elijah with the fact that he had remembered Elijah’s favourite and settled back when the waiter brought their mugs of tea. No alcohol in a fancy place like this.

"This is nice," Elijah smiled. "What’s it in aid of? Have I forgotten something?"

"No," Orli said. "I just thought we could celebrate after…" he shrugged. "After you’ve made it successfully through a week at university."

"But it’s only Thursday, I haven’t made it through a whole week yet."

"Well, you started on a Thursday and this is the next Thursday so…" Orli shrugged again. "Nearly a whole week," he said as the waiter returned with their food.

Elijah pushed a fat, actually-made-from-potatoes chip around his plate until it had soaked up as much vinegar as possible then ate it slowly, sighing in pleasure. "What are we really celebrating?" he asked.

"Nothing, I just thought it would be nice."

"And you’re a rotten liar," he smiled affectionately. "Tell me."

"I wanted to congratulate you on going to the art club only I suddenly thought…"

"I might not have gone?"

"Something like that," Orli looked down at the table, their hands were close together and he stroked softly along Elijah’s fingers with his thumb. The gesture was so small that only someone looking very closely would have noticed it. "I know you weren’t keen but I thought you would have gone then I got worried in case you thought I was pressuring you if you hadn’t and…"

He was cut off when Elijah suddenly lunged across the table and, holding Orli’s face tightly between his hands, kissed him soundly. Elijah angled his head to the side and forced Orli’s lips apart, pushing his tongue inside. This wasn’t a peck on the lips, Elijah meant it to be a full on, wet and wild, proper kiss.

He sat back, his eyes sparkling, and laughed at Orli’s surprised expression. The passing waiter stood with his mouth open, his hands full and just looked, his face full of disgust.

"Thank you for having faith in me," Elijah said. "I did go, in the end. Took me long enough to work up the nerve to walk in there but, you were right, I’m glad I did. They were drawing some poxy dried flowers but the woman running it has an amazing eye for light and shade and I learned a lot."

He dug around in the plastic carrier bag, pulling out a rolled up sheet of paper. "This is for you. I was going to give it to you later but now seems like a better time."

Orli unrolled it carefully. It was just a picture of a few flowers and grasses but it had life and excitement and a certain tenderness in each line. Orli was hard pressed to express how pleased he was with it.

"Read what it says on the back," Elijah urged him.

Orli dutifully turned it over.

To Orli,

You get my first proper picture and you’ll get my last, as well as all of the good ones in between. That’s a promise.

Elijah.

"Thank you, but you don’t have to give me all your pictures."

"Yes I do," Elijah crammed another fork load of chips into his mouth.

"Why?" Orli asked.

"Because you’re the only person that’s ever had faith in me. You really believed I could do it and go to art club today. That’s worth the odd picture."

For a moment Orli was silent, hopelessly touched by Elijah’s words. Elijah went on stuffing his face.

"I do have faith in you and I’m proud of you," Orli twisted his teacup round and round, the dregs sloshing up the sides and threatening to spill out. He stared down at his hands. "When we first got together I deliberately prepared myself for you sleeping with other people. I knew you’d said you were determined not to but…. I didn’t think you could do it."

He looked up at Elijah. "You amaze me every day. You’ve come so far and changed so much, you’re solid as a rock, and I’m truly proud to be with you."

Elijah swallowed the last of his mouthful. "I’m only solid when it comes to you, with everything else I’m a bit flaky, but…" his eyes fixed on Orli. "With you I’m solid," he said seriously.

Orli reached across the table and brushed a burger bun crumb from the corner of Elijah’s mouth, his fingertip skimming across the skin in a soft arc.

"So art club was fun?" Orli sat back and picked up his burger, needing two hands to stop it falling apart.

"Yeah it was, I reckon I can learn a lot there."

"And lunch time isn’t going so bad?"

"Nah, I’ve kind of got it sorted. It’s either art club, Eileen’s, the Learning Zone or, if the weather’s okay, I can sit out in the park. It’s nice having options."

"You could always talk to someone?" Orli said gently.

"Oh don’t start again," Elijah said round a mouth full of burger. "I talk to Eileen."

"But she’s old."

"And you’re annoying. So what?"

Orli sighed exasperated. "I know Eileen is all right but…"

"Bloody hell you’re like a broken record at times," Elijah laughed. "Stop it. I can talk to her, it’s easy and comfortable, does it matter that she’s old?"

"No," Orli admitted. "But why not talk to Rose as well? Or someone else nearer your own age."

"Because Rose and everyone else looks at me differently," Elijah said flatly. Then he smiled and started in on his food again. "Plus Eileen makes great cakes and she sewed a button back on my jacket. I can’t see Rose offering to do that."

Orli gave in. "Fine, if you’re happy…"

"I am Orlando, at least I’m a damned sight happier than I was when I first started. I’ve found a way to manage, if I don’t have to mix too much I’ll be okay."

"All right, you know best, as always," Orli grinned.

"Course I do," Elijah said as he finished the last of his food, placing his knife and fork neatly on the plate. "Are you going to eat those chips?"

Orli pushed his plate across and watched as Elijah devoured the remaining food, wiping his fingers when he’d finished. The waiter cleared their plates away and mumbled something about dessert.

"I want a Brown Derby," Elijah announced. "And two spoons," he licked his lips and looked up at the man through his eyelashes. "So my ‘special friend’ and I can share it."

The waiter turned on his heels and marched away.

"He’ll probably spit on it now," Orli grinned.

"Probably," Elijah agreed. "But sometimes it’s worth it."

"What the hell is a Brown Derby anyway?"

"You don’t know?" Elijah stretched his eyes wide till he looked like a startled fish. "It’s a hot donut with soft ice-cream on top and nuts and chocolate sauce. One of England’s great secrets, you’ll love it. If not, I’ll eat it."

The waiter returned, placing the dish in the middle of the table and dropping the single spoon next to it. Elijah shrugged and fed Orli the first mouthful – a bit of donut coated in melted ice-cream that had already been mixed with the nuts and the sauce. Just as it should be eaten – before pulling the spoon from Orli’s mouth and licking along it, slow and obvious.

Orli smiled at the pleasure of just being with him.

"I think dinner should count as a reward because," Elijah expertly broke off another portion of donut. "I did good today."

"Why? What happened?" Elijah had been right; this really tasted good, in a sickly kind of way.

"One of the lecturers as good as offered me an A grade if I did her. She was only after a snog but I turned her down. Aren’t you proud of me?"

"The fucking bitch," Orli started but then stopped. He felt the food in his belly turn to concrete and his face tighten.

He watched silently as Elijah continued to eat; his tongue lapping out over his lip to catch a wayward drop of ice-cream, a bead of chocolate sauce falling to the table.

He watched dark eyelashes flick up and Elijah’s mouth tip up in a smile; a silly childlike smile as more ice-cream got away, running down his chin.

He watched and deliberately concentrated on loosening his tense and twitching muscles.

Orli reached out and took the spoon from Elijah’s hand, eating a mouthful of dessert himself and feeding the next to Elijah. "You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Telling me like that."

Elijah tilted his head to the side and looked at Orli. "I wanted to see how you’d react. See if you’ve realised anything."

"I’ve realised I have to stop acting like an idiot before I lose you."

"And?" Elijah asked.

"I have to get things in perspective and trust you."

"Before you?"

"Before I turn into a monster that not even my own mother would want to know."

"See, it wasn’t hard, was it? Realising that you can’t act like an idiot," Elijah smiled.

Orli didn’t smile back. "It was hard Elijah, hardest thing I’ve done in a long time."

The smile drained from Elijah’s face and he was left staring at Orli.

"But you’re fighting to change for me, least I can do is fight as hard for you," Orli said. "I’ve been in danger of turning into some weird, possessive freak. I’ll admit it, I’ve never been this jealous about anything before but I’m putting a stop to it right now. If you can change, so can I."

"Thank you," Elijah said softly.

"And thank you for sticking by me, don’t dismiss it, you didn’t have to."

"Maybe not," Elijah admitted. "But I want to, I want to stick by you for," he shrugged his shoulders. "Forever."

Orli sat and looked at him for a moment. "Was it true? Was it just a test or did she really try it on?"

Elijah gave the barest hint of a nod. "She tried, I handled it, you passed the test. It’s over."

"But she shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it."

"I handled it Orlando," Elijah stated firmly.

"What if she tries it on with someone else, someone who can’t handle it?"

"I’m not ready to play Good Samaritan for the whole university. Anyway, she only got a bit over enthusiastic and I slapped her down pretty hard," he fed Orli the last piece of dessert then reached over to mop his lips with the napkin. "Trust me that I know what I’m doing."

"But…"

"No buts," Elijah reached for the bill and stood up. "I don’t make mistakes when it comes to sex."

Orli caught up with him at the till. He pulled the bill from Elijah’s hand. "I was taking you out to dinner, remember?" He passed over some money and kissed Elijah sweetly on the cheek when the woman serving looked up. "We’re celebrating the fact that I love him so much," he kissed Elijah again, pocketing his change. "And now we’re going home to shag like bunny rabbits."


+


Friday night and Orli had decided to make a stir-fry.

What the fuck?

He opened tins or took things out of the freezer and put them in the microwave, he didn’t do real cooking, what the hell was he playing at? He was actually cutting up green things that didn’t come out of a packet? What a bloody stupid way to spend a Friday night.

He dumped his knife on the counter and turned to Elijah, ready to suggest they go for a pizza and a couple of pints instead. But then he stopped.

Elijah was sitting at the kitchen table, a note pad in front of him, surrounded by piles of books. He was wearing his glasses, something he didn’t do very often any more, he always had his contacts in, but Orli liked them. They made Elijah look…. Orli didn’t know what, but he liked them.

As Orli watched Elijah checked first one and then another book before making a note on the pad. He scratched his forehead and the pen, still clasped in his hand, rubbed against his cheek leaving a trail of blue ink.

Elijah didn’t notice.

Instead he went back to the first book, nodding as he found a fact he agreed with, his tongue peeking out as he concentrated.

Not a bad way to spend a Friday night, Orli thought. Not a bad way at all. He turned back, found his knife, and started chopping up something that looked like a tree.


+


The evening got even better a couple of hours later when Orli wandered back into the kitchen. Elijah had loaded the dishwasher and was now scrubbing at the wok/saucepan/thing Orli had used to cook his infamous stir fry in.

It wasn’t the fact that he didn’t have to do the cleaning himself or the sight of Elijah wearing yellow rubber washing up gloves that made Orli’s heart warm and his lips curl in a smile. It was the fact that Elijah was softly singing to himself along with the radio.

‘Oh my god I can’t believe it,’ came the voice of the singer across the airwaves. ‘I’ve never been this far away from home.’

‘Oh my god I can’t believe it,’ Elijah sang in time. ‘I’ve never felt quite this much at home."

Elijah was singing and he was…. happy.

A bloody brilliant Friday night.


+


Oh god that was it, that, right there… just…. Oh…

Don’t fight for it, let it come and… Elijah thrust his hips up, his cock sliding all wet and slippery, grazing over Orli’s teeth and…

He might not need to fight for it but, bloody hell, if he stayed like this, dangling on the edge, for much longer he was in danger of dying. Real life, dead-as-a-door-nail, flat on his back dead.

He gripped the sheet tighter, his hands balling into fists as he twisted the poor bedraggled material.

Bloody hell, just… bloody hell…

Orli’s head slipped down again and Elijah knew he was going to die of pleasure, right now, right this second, he was going to die of a pleasure that was so intense, so…

Was he sure this was pleasure?

Every single nerve end had fired so many times he was on overload, all burnt out and frazzled and… was that even a word?

Orli loved to do this to him, loved to keep him right on the edge for as long as possible, making him sweat and arch and plead. Making him fall apart just so Orli could scoop him up and put him together again.

The muscles in Elijah’s belly ached from where he’d fought to keep his hips down, his arse ached from being clamped tight for so long, even his jaw hurt. Relax. He chanted it over and over in his mind. Relax and let it flow, enjoy the feelings as they flowed.

Calm your breathing and enjoy it.

Oh bloody hell that was good…

That catch of Orli’s teeth that sent every one of his muscles tensing up till it wasn’t only his cock that was stiff as a board. This was it; he was so close he could almost taste his orgasm, feel it pulsing through him and out, leaving him floating high and free and…

All it needed was for Orli to keep doing that, just like he was now. Just keep going, keep going and…

But it wasn’t quite enough.

He needed Orli to suck just a little harder, to build the pressure up, to keep the rhythm going … and then he was sure to explode.

That was it, that was what he needed, it was going to happen…

Right… about… now…

And then Orli stopped, pulling off and sitting up.

"Orlando? Don’t you dare," Elijah grabbed Orli’s hair, trying to push him back down. "I’m fucking dying here."

Orli went, if a bit slowly for Elijah’s liking.

And then it was back, that glorious pressure that made Elijah groan and gasp, humping up from the bed.

And then it stopped.

Again.

"Orli! It’s just plain evil to keep me hanging like this. What’s the bloody matter?" Elijah demanded.

"Lactic acid, that stuff that makes your muscles burn if you work them too hard," Orli pulled a face, stretching his mouth in stupid shapes. "It really makes my jaw ache, keeping you twitching on the edge."

"Then don’t!" came Elijah’s plaintive cry.

"But I have to," Orli grinned. "That’s half the fun, dangling you on the end of the line and seeing how long I can keep you there."

"What do you want me to do? Beg?" Elijah opened his legs a little more and thrust his hips up. "’Cos I will. Please Orli mate," his voice wheedled. "Honey baby, please."

"Oh I like begging," Orli’s eyes lit up. "But you’ll have to give me a minute, it really hurts."

"Oh for fuck’s sake," Elijah said exasperated. "A little lactic acid never killed anyone." He sat up on his elbows and looked at Orli, his eyes narrowing. "I’ll let you rim me."

"You would anyway," Orli laughed. "You love it."

Elijah flopped back again. "True." He thought about what else to offer; but thinking wasn’t terribly easy right now. "Fuck it, you get everything anyway. I should have held something back to torment you with, talk about a bloody idiot."

"You’ll just have to put up with me going slow," Orli rubbed his jaw.

"Shit," Elijah scratched at his hair and tried a few calming breaths. "Next time I do you I’ll… in fact," he looked up at Orli, his eyes shining. "Next time I do you you’re really gonna pay for this."

"Oh you’d really like that, wouldn’t you?"

"Maybe," Elijah grinned. "If it was necessary."

"Well I guess I’ll have to make sure it isn’t necessary." Orli bent down to the task in hand. Or should that be in mouth?

Two minutes later and Elijah was sweating. His hands fisted in the sheets, his hips bucking and his breath heaving in great waves out of his lungs.

Almost there.

Almost deliciously, marvellously, amazingly there… just one more thrust of his hips and….

Orli stopped again.

"Fucking, shitting, bloody, bleeding hell Orlando!" Elijah yelled.

"Sorry," Orli’s head bobbed up. "It doesn’t so much hurt as just stop you carrying on." The grin on his face didn’t exactly convince Elijah that he was sorry. "I’ll make it up to you," the grin grew bigger as Orli crawled up Elijah’s body, between his open thighs. "I can do this," he pulled at an already hard nipple with his teeth.

"So not enough," Elijah hissed through tight lips.

"And this," Orli licked a broad swipe up Elijah’s neck and around a ear, nipping at the cartilage as he pushed a knee up tight against Elijah’s groin.

"More," came the demand.

"How about this?" He dropped his hips down, maintaining his balance on two straight arms, and ground his hips round in slow deliberate circles, his cock hitching over and over Elijah’s.

"Better," Elijah just prevented himself from squeaking.

"And to finish it off, this," Orli dropped down and kissed Elijah like he’d never been kissed before.

All right, so Orli probably had kissed him like that before but it was a damned fine kiss. He angled his head so their noses fitted perfectly as he swiped up and over Elijah’s lips and then pushed them apart – really pushed them open, not only using his tongue but the sheer force of his need as well.

He pushed Elijah’s mouth open and forced his way inside, twisting his tongue around and around Elijah’s as he ground down hard as he could with his hips. Two minutes later and Orli was as desperate as the man he was trying to relieve.

"Move…" Orli bit Elijah’s bottom lip, pulling it.

"What?" Almost incoherent from Elijah.

"Your legs, move ‘em," Orli lifted his hips a few millimetres, pushing his hand in between their bodies. Not to hold their cocks, oh no, just to line them up. Make sure they couldn’t escape the exquisite torture.

Elijah got the idea and hooked his legs up around Orli’s back, his heels pushing down hard on Orli’s arse.

Not that Orli needed any encouragement.

A figure of eight movement was what he was aiming at but who gave a fuck if it went wrong? Sparks were flying along his cock and there was a red hot heat building at the back of his spine and… He latched onto Elijah’s mouth again, as scrabby fingers clawed at his back.

You couldn’t call it kissing anymore; it was way too desperate for that. More the pressing of red, swollen lips together in a jumbled, confused mass of grunts, groans and whimpers.

Orli rotated round again and Elijah’s pubic hair felt like sandpaper on his cock. The best, most sensual, most delicate sandpaper ever as… oh fuck. Orli came, groaning loud into Elijah’s mouth as his cock pulsed.

He heaved in a panting breath trying to still his twitching body.

"Don’t you dare!" Elijah’s voice was high and shill. "Don’t you dare fucking stop, not now."

"Sorry," Orli panted and pushed, deliberately aiming his hips just there, just at that angle, just hard enough so that…

"Oh," Elijah said, but it was dark and dirty sound. He bit at his lip.

Orli pushed again just so that Elijah would make that obscene noise. Once, twice and desperate fingers were holding onto Orli’s back for dear life. One more and all Orli could see was the white column of Elijah’s neck as he threw his head back painfully. Twice more and Elijah’s heel would do Orli’s arse serious damage if he weren’t careful.

Orli groped his way down and held the back of Elijah’s hip tight. A fixed target, no more wriggling and twisting and… two more hard, hard, hard thrusts and Elijah was done for, gulping down air like it had just been invented as his come mixed with the sweat on Orli’s belly.

"Oh shit," Elijah gasped.

"Exactly," Orli thought it might be a good idea to roll off Elijah.

But then maybe it wasn’t.

"You beat me," Elijah said indignantly. "You keep me dangling on the edge for hours and then you beat me to it."

"Sorry," Orli licked half-heartedly at the hollow at the bottom of Elijah’s neck. "What can I tell you? I’m easily pleased."

"You owe me."

"I usually do. More sex?"

"Can’t believe I’m gonna say this but, later. My body feels all twitchy, like I’ve had a million volts of electricity through it, you know what I mean?"

"I know one thing," Orli managed to roll back a little onto his side. Yuck, they were sticky. "If sex gets any better my cock’s going to explode."

"Christ no!" In a sudden burst of energy Elijah sat up, pushed Orli onto his back, and bent down to kiss his cock. "I’d miss it way too much."

"Then I promise I’ll look after it, just for you," Orli laughed. He caught hold of Elijah’s hand, linking their fingers together. "Sorry about before, I think I might have… over estimated my sucking ability."

"Oh shut up," Elijah smiled. "You do just fine, or are you fishing for compliments again?"

"Nah just…" he pulled on Elijah’s hand. "It’s Saturday, let’s do something you want to today."

"No football on?"

"Well, there isn’t actually but…" Orli couldn’t help but laugh. "I’d do whatever you want anyway."

"Liar, but I’ll take you up on the offer anyway," Elijah thought about it for a minute. "I want to get away, get out of London for the day. Let’s go to the seaside or out in the country, the weather’s all right and I want to feel the wind on my face."

Orli looked at him for a long moment, trying to judge his mood or reasoning. Elijah wasn’t giving much away. "You’re on," Orli got up pulling Elijah with him. "We can borrow mum’s car, go somewhere nice, but first we have to wash. Get in the shower and I’ll do your back."


+


They took Yvonne’s car and drove out into the countryside, arriving just in time for a huge lunch at a very nice pub. Afterwards Elijah decided they needed to walk off all the food and the beers – Orli thought it would be a better idea to have a little nap first but this time he lost.

They walked for miles through woods and fields, climbing fallen trees and over gently rolling hills. At the top of one rise they stopped and Elijah looked round, amazed. There wasn’t another person or a building in sight, if it hadn’t been for the sound of a plane overhead it would have felt as if they were totally cut off from the rest of the world.

In the end they lay down in the still warm sun of an Indian summer and Orli got his nap, his head resting on Elijah’s thigh. Elijah sketched the scene on the back of an old envelope with the pen he pinched out of Orli’s pocket.

Then they were up and off again and Orli cursed his memory. He was sure that when he had done this walk, as a kid with his family, it was at least a couple of miles shorter. Elijah didn’t mind, he tucked his hand in the back pocket of Orli’s jeans, tipped his face up to the sky, and went on chatting about nothing.

They made it back to the village where they’d left the car just as it was starting to get cold. Orli decided there was time for tea and cake at the frills and flowers café before it closed, but when he sat down Elijah had wandered off. No matter, by the time Elijah arrived Orli had ordered the sandwiches.

Elijah dumped his jacket on the spare chair and sat down, putting a picture postcard on the table.

"What’s that?" Orli asked.

"A picture of the village church," Elijah showed him. "Let me borrow your pen again."

Orli dug in his pocket producing the chewed biro, he handed it over. Elijah wrote,

Love Elijah
X

on the message side of the card and then started on the address.

"Does Eileen have a thing about churches then?" Orli asked.

"No idea, it’s not for her," Elijah said, his head down as he concentrated.

"Who’s it for then?"

Elijah lifted his eyes and looked at Orli thoughtfully. "My mum," he said.

"Your mum?" Orli’s voice rose along with his eyebrows. "What the fuck are you sending that bitch a card for? Why are you bothering with her at all?"

"Because she’s my mum and I love her," Elijah said evenly.

"Well yeah, I know… maybe… but…"

"And she loves me."

"Oh come off it," Orli burst out. "She’s nothing but a prize bitch that…."

Just at that moment a elderly waitress in a starched white pinny appeared with two pots of tea and rounds of sandwiches. Each plate had little curls of cucumber and baby tomatoes on the side. Orli bit his tongue but his eyes blazed.

"She’s my mum Orlando," Elijah let the implications hang in the air.

Orli huffed out a breath and made himself pour the tea. He bit a sandwich in half, chewing it deliberately, before he spoke again. "I’m sorry," he said. "But she’s not exactly model mum material, is she?"

"What’s model mum material? Yours?" Elijah ate one of his sandwiches and then swapped his plate with Orli’s.

"No, I didn’t mean that," Orli blustered.

"What do you mean then?" Elijah calmly took another bite.

"She’s never exactly put you first, never done anything for you or looked after you. All she’s ever done is use you."

"You’re wrong there," Elijah said simply. "She’s always done her best for me. It may not have been what everyone else would consider the right thing but in her mind she was doing the best she could."

"How can you say that after all the crap she’s put you through?"

Elijah sat back, wiping his mouth with the napkin. "What’s a good parent’s job Orlando? It has to be to prepare their kid for the real world, teach them how to survive and get on the best they can. That’s what mum did; she was trying to teach me how to survive in a harsh and cruel world where nothing is for nothing. She showed me how to use what I’ve got so that I could keep one step ahead."

"Oh that’s bollocks and you know it. She was using you so she didn’t have to do it herself."

Elijah shook his head. "She taught me to exploit what I’ve got for my own benefit, how to find the easiest route through all the shit life throws at you. She was doing what she thought was best for me. She loves me and she didn’t want me to go through all the crap she has."

"If that’s true why wasn’t she glad when we got together, when you found something better?" Orli asked. "Come on, if she’s so wonderful explain that."

"That’s easy," Elijah finished up the food. "She doesn’t trust you. Why should she? She’s never met anyone decent and she doesn’t believe there are any good people out there. She wants to protect me from being hurt by you and she really believes that you will hurt me. Once you’ve got what you want and you get bored, you’ll piss off just like everyone has done to her."

"But I’m not like that."

"How’s my mum meant to know that?"

"She could have talked to me, found out what I’m like."

"Oh come on Orli, anyone can say the right thing and everyone’s out for what they can get. She’s had that proved to her enough times; the closer you get to someone the more you get hurt," Elijah reached forward to snag the last crust off Orli’s plate, their hands close enough for the hairs to brush against each other. "And if by any chance you were different, well," he looked into Orli’s eyes. "That would just make her hate you even more because you’ll be the one that takes me away from her."

"I wouldn’t have taken you away," Orli caught Elijah’s hand. "She’s the one that made you choose between us."

"You think we could have had happy Sunday dinners? You, me, my mum and yours?" Elijah stroked his thumb over the back of Orli’s hand. "You hate her guts and she hates yours because you broke up the special world where it was just me and her. Now she thinks she’s on her own so I send her a card occasionally to remind her she’s still got me."

It was Orli’s turn to shake his head, his lips pressed tight together. "She never sent you one when you were sick, never called to see how you were doing. Fuck, she just chucked you out and didn’t even care where you were going when you were really ill."

"She couldn’t cope with it," Elijah looked down to where his hand rested in Orli’s. "She couldn’t handle it when nan got ill and died and she couldn’t take seeing me ill, I knew that."

"But she could have phoned."

"We’ve never been like that, we don’t talk about things or touch like you and I do. But she knew your mum would tell her if I was in real danger.

"Elijah, you make too many excuses for her," Orli said softly.

"Nah," Elijah smiled. "I just understand how things work, how she works."

"But…" Just then the waitress appeared asking if they wanted anything else. Elijah ordered scones and cream for two; grinning at the woman when she said they had the thick clotted cream he remembered trying once. She smiled back and promised him an extra helping, saying he looked like he needed building up. She even called him a little rascal.

Elijah didn’t move his hand from Orli’s.

After she left he smiled again, this time just for Orli.

"I don’t want to spoil out day but…" Orli started.

"But you’re bursting to say something else, go on say it."

"You gave me a chance, I just wish your mum would have done the same."

"If I remember right, you were ready to bite her head off as soon as she walked through the door," Elijah pointed out. "In fact you didn’t want to let her through the door."

"Maybe but… she could have tried."

"So could you," Elijah said but then he huffed out a breath and let the accusation go. "Do you think we would have got together if I hadn’t had cancer?" he asked.

"What’s the cancer got to do with anything?"

Elijah shrugged. "I just think if I hadn’t been sick and needed a place to stay I wouldn’t have bothered going along with your rules. I’d have worked at you till I got you," he stared at Orli intently for a moment. "And trust me, I would have got you. Then I’d have moved on and never got to know you and you would never in a million years have bothered to get to know me."

The thought dawned on Orli that Elijah was probably right. He remembered how he had felt about Elijah right at the beginning, when they’d first met, what an annoying little scummy shit he’d thought Elijah was. Orli suddenly knew that he would never have given Elijah the time of day, let alone given them a chance to become friends. He would have kicked Elijah out long before the relationship they had now had the time and space to grow.

Elijah watched Orli’ face and knew everything that he was thinking.

"It’s a vicious circle Orlando," he twisted the ring around Orli’s finger. "If you don’t think something exists you stop yourself seeing it. Neither mum or I believed there was someone like you, not for people like us, and if I hadn’t had cancer I never would have believed it."

This time they were interrupted as the waitress brought their cakes. There were four home-made, warm scones, a pot of strawberry jam full of fruit and a huge bowl of thick, yellowy clotted cream. Elijah’s eyes shone as he tucked in.

"Mum meant all that stuff she said when she turned up at the flat. She really does think me and her aren’t like other people, that we’re special," Elijah munched through a scone, cream sticking to his upper lip. He tried to lick it off. "And it doesn’t matter what you think. She loves me, just in her own way. She’s always done her best."

"She left you so that you don’t know if you’re gay or bi, how is that ‘doing her best’?"

"On come on, be realistic. Men are the ones with the power in this world, I had to do them," Elijah leant over and wiped some cream from Orli’s cheek then licked his finger. "If I’d been born a girl I’d only have done men."

"And that makes it all right?" Orli asked incredulously. He didn’t notice the odd looks his raised voice had attracted.

"It makes it understandable and I’m quite happy with the outcome. I’ve got you, haven’t I?" He smiled, licking his fingers.

"Yeah but…"

"Don’t you get it? I don’t care about labels, I don’t need some defining statement of who I am, I already know. Everyone else was just a hole to fuck, it didn’t matter to me if it belonged to a man or a woman," Elijah nodded, confidently. "You’re gay, the waitress is most likely straight and I’m Orli’s, what’s the problem? I’m quite happy with that."

"Surely you miss women?"

"Why? I don’t separate people into those categories. I only sort into two groups, people I’ve fucked and people I’ve made love with, and there’s only you in the second one."

"But…" Orli wasn’t sure what his question was but he knew there was one.

"And you’re doing it again," Elijah smiled. "Getting all worked up over nothing. It doesn’t matter, it’s done."

"It’s just that…"

"Give it up Orlando," Elijah interrupted again. "You’ve lost this one, get over it and think yourself lucky I know how you work as well as my mum."

"Don’t you talk about me in the same breath as her," Orli said, but he was smiling.

"Shut up. I’ve worked it out, if I’m really clever I might just be able to keep both of you," he wiped his mouth on the paper napkin, sitting back with his hands stretched over his full belly. "Just not in the same room at the same time."

"Elijah if you want me to I’ll make an effort with your mum, God knows you’ve tried so hard with mine," Orli said earnestly, leaning over to get closer to Elijah.

"I don’t care," Elijah laughed. "You both make such a fuss about stuff, you have to be easier to handle separately. Now you pay the nice lady while I go and post my card."

And with that Elijah got up and left, smiling sweetly and waving to the old waitress as he passed.


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Seven

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