Teaching Elijah 8
Pairing: Ian/Elijah
Disclaimer: Don’t know these people. No offence intended or money made.
"Stop bouncing, will you?" Sean laughed as Elijah jumped up and down on the spot, waiting for Peter to give them the shout to begin filming. "You’re going to be all sweaty and out of breath."
"That’s the point, oh wise one." Elijah grinned. "Frodo boy’s not exactly a picture of health, is he? Wouldn’t do for me to be all fit and shiny."
"You must have got one hell of a good night’s sleep." Sean put his hand out, pretending to feel Elijah’s nose. "Bright eyes, shiny coat and yes, damp nose." He smiled. "Healthy again."
Elijah pulled away, grinning, but didn't speak, nodding instead as silence was called for on the set, and they got down to work.
Sean didn't get a chance to speak to Elijah again until much later in the day, when they were both lying on the floor pretending to gaze into the fiery chasm whence Frodo would throw the Ring. ‘Whence’ had recently become a favourite word of Elijah’s, and he used it far too much.
"You’re happy, aren’t you?" Sean said softly, watching as the technicians struggled to get everything set up. "Is it the new man doing this?"
"I don’t know," Elijah said after a moment’s silence. "I guess. He makes me feel pretty special, I can’t argue with that. He looks after me, you know."
"Not willing to tell me who it is yet?"
Elijah smiled and rested his head on his folded arms, his voice muffled as he answered.
"Don’t think I’m being stupid, but part of it is the secrecy, you know? I’m not embarrassed or anything like that; opposite actually ‘cos I’m amazed that he chose me, but it’s just a … part of the thing." He turned his head and looked up from underneath Frodo’s hair, giving Sean his best Frodo look. "I love you, you know that, and I’ll tell you just about anything you want to know, but not that, not yet."
Sean put his hand on the small of Elijah’s back, rubbing gently, comforting without words, knowing how Elijah loved to be touched. Sure enough, Elijah laughed softly and pushed into the touch, leaving Sean to once again wonder how he had ever come to be in this place.
"You think you love him?"
Elijah took a sharp breath and looked up. He grinned, a full-on, Elijah grin, but didn’t answer, and the wheels in Sean’s mind suddenly clicked and whirred, and a name jumped out at him, so clear and so obvious that it was all he could do to keep quiet. He watched as Elijah ducked his head again, resting his face on his arms, and although his hand kept moving slowly, gently, his mind seemed to kick up a gear.
*
"Hello."
Ian looked up, surprised and slightly annoyed. He was trying to get his head round the latest rewrites and thought he had found a quiet corner in which to do just that.
"Hello," he answered after a moment. "Is there something wrong?"
"Don’t think so." Sean sat down next to Ian without being asked, which was most unlike him. Normally, Sean was the epitome of good manners. "I just wondered if we could have a quick word."
"Shelf," Ian replied, and then smiled. "Oh, I’m sorry Sean. That was very childish of me."
"Sounds like the kind of thing Elijah would say." Again, in a manner completely out of character, Sean reached over and took the script out of Ian’s hands, placing it carefully between them. "We all love him, you know. Every one of us."
"And with good reason," Ian responded. "He’s very easy to love." Completely unbidden, an image came into his mind: Elijah, blushing slightly, commencing on the downward journey that would result in Ian receiving a steadily improving blow job. The thought made his body tingle, and it was with some difficulty that he dragged his mind back to what Sean was saying.
"…he didn’t mean to, though. I just put two and two together. He said that his man took good care of him last night. You took him home last night. I’m not stupid."
"I don’t believe I’ve ever said you are."
"He told me about you two," Sean said, "indirectly, but still…" Ian, finally focusing all his attention on his co-star, realised that Sean was as close to angry as he had ever been.
"I don’t understand quite why you think it necessary to come and tell me this." Ian picked up his script again. "What Elijah chooses to tell you is his business. He is, after all, a grown man."
"He’s 19, Ian." Sean moved as if to take the script, and then stopped himself. "19! He’s still so young…"
"Whereas you, of course, are ancient beyond time’s telling," Ian replied. "Why am I having this very odd discussion with you? It’s none of your business." He paused and looked at Sean, who was red-faced and annoyed. "Or is it?" he continued slowly. "Sean, have I inadvertently trodden on toes?"
"No toes were trodden on in the course of this conversation," Sean said, backing down so fast that Ian wondered if he had made himself dizzy. "It’s just that I … care for Elijah, and I don’t want to see him hurt."
"And I care for him, too. Very deeply, as it happens. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, so what makes you think I would?"
Sean looked away for a second, marshalling his thoughts. He had only started this conversation on impulse, seeing Ian away from everybody else. He didn’t really know where he was going to go with it, and Ian was formidable at the best of times. Now, when he was very obviously starting to get annoyed, he was overwhelming.
"I don’t think you would, and I know that he’s old enough to look after himself, but…"
"But?" Ian looked down Gandalf’s nose, and Sean suddenly felt very Sam-ish.
"Nothing." Sean stood up. "Nothing, it was stupid, sorry."
"Sean." Suddenly Ian was just Ian again - kind and gentlemanly. "Sit down." He patted the step next to him, and Sean obeyed. "Now, listen to me. There is nothing wrong in loving him, you know that. You have commitments, and from what I have learned about you, you will never do anything - untoward - which may damage or hurt your family and those you love. I, on the other hand, am free to give rein to my feelings. That he has chosen to tell you should, quite honestly, make you understand just how much he feels for you."
"He didn’t tell me, I pieced it together from what I saw, what I’ve been seeing. I just never made the connection before."
"When have you ever known Elijah to ‘accidentally’ say anything about his private life? He knew exactly what to say and when to say it."
Sean sighed, and gazed into the middle distance. Since the evening he had spent with the other hobbits, watching with Elijah as Billy and Dom kissed and touched in front of them, his own feelings had grown steadily more confused. Now Elijah thought it safe to tell him of his relationship with Ian, albeit indirectly, confident that Sean would understand and support him. And he did, oh he did. But he hadn’t been ready for the hurt.
"He does love you," Ian said, putting a gentle hand on Sean’s shoulder. "Never doubt that."
"But not like he loves you." The words came out flat, defeated, and Sean sighed again.
"No," Ian agreed, a world of pity and understanding in his tone. "Not like that."
Sean smiled, and Ian felt his heart clench with pity for the sadness in that smile; for the simple fact that Sean had realised something about himself when it was too late to do anything about it.
"He’ll never be less than your friend," Ian said softly, "you must remember that. When this is all over and he’s gone on his way, you’ll still be there. Let that be enough."
"It’ll have to be, won’t it?"
Sean was about to walk away when a very familiar voice made them both freeze and stare around as if they had been caught with their hands very much in the biscuit tin.
"Ian! Vigs said that he’d seen you skulking. Is skulking anything like slathering, or possibly even froli … oh, fuck."
"Nice to see you too, Lij," Sean said, a trace of laughter in his voice, and only Ian could see the effort that was causing him. "Your guilty secret’s out."
"Well, it’s not much of a secret if people insist on shouting things at the top of their voice instead of keeping quiet," Ian replied, putting his hand on Sean’s shoulder, and reaching out for Elijah. "My little harem. I wonder, can one have a harem of two?"
"Sorry," Elijah said, looking from Ian to Sean so quickly that it wasn’t clear who he was talking to. "I’m so sorry."
"Talk to your friend, Elijah. I’ll go and find another quiet spot. Unless you wanted me for something specific?"
"No." Elijah looked down at his dirty hobbit feet. "Sorry."
He watched as Ian walked away, and then looked down at his feet again.
"I was going to tell you, you know. How did you know?" He paused. "Or didn’t you know? Were you just here to ask him something?"
"It’s all right, you told me just enough," Sean reassured him. "I wish you’d told me before, but I guess I understand what you were thinking, or as much as anybody ever understands what you think." He paused, waiting until Elijah stopped investigating the ground, and actually looked up. "Are you happy?"
"Yes," Elijah said after a pause. "I really am. He’s so good to me, Sean. He’s funny and kind and witty, and he doesn’t patronise me… He’s teaching me all kinds of stuff."
"Am I likely to want to know what kind of stuff, or is that best kept between you?" Sean smiled against the fist clenching in his gut.
"Not that kind of stuff!" Elijah dug around in his costume until with a triumphant ‘ah!’ he produced his cigarettes. Quickly lighting one up, he drew in a huge lungful of smoke, blowing it away from Sean. "Stuff," he said more quietly as the cigarette calmed his nerves. "He tells the greatest stories about his work, and he’s done some amazing things. I asked him if he would be willing to teach me – I asked him, Sean – and he didn’t want to do it, because he thought – oh, lots of stuff. But then he agreed, and it’s been just the best time." He paused. "Am I talking too much?"
"No more than usual," Sean assured him. "You could have told me, you know. I wouldn’t have judged you. And by the way, how do you get away with carrying your cigarettes in your costume?"
"No, I know that. But it’s like I said; the secrecy is part of the fun." He looked over his shoulder as if expecting to see the rest of the Fellowship suddenly materialise, and then back at Sean, his voice dropping to a near whisper. "You know what you asked me, before? Yes, I think I do love him."
"And the cigarettes?" Sean asked, trying to keep the mood light.
"Oh I just flash my eyes at them, and the costume people will give me what I want. I may complain about them you know, but it’s not like I don’t know how to use them."
*
Sean watched Elijah all day, watched him with fresh eyes, taking in the brightness of the smile, and the way his energy levels seemed to peak whenever Ian was around, and berated himself for not having seen it sooner. Elijah changed completely as soon as Ian appeared, light practically flooding his face, making it almost painful to watch, and more than once Sean looked away, jaw clenched against something he still wasn’t willing to name.
*
"So are you keeping me company tonight?" Ian asked casually during a break in filming, leaning down and picking up the script Elijah had been flicking through, pretending to check on some small detail.
"I’d keep you company every minute if I could," Elijah answered, not looking directly at Ian. "I’m so sorry about Sean, I didn’t expect him to go looking for you."
"In matters of the heart, you are an open book to those who know you, and Sean will forever be your Sam, determined to protect." Elijah couldn’t help glancing up then, and Ian twinkled ferociously from inside Gandalf’s face. "It was only a matter of time, and there are worse people than Sean to find out first. Blabbermouth Bloom, for one."
Elijah hooted with laughter, his voice rising so shrill and young that Ian winced. It was something he would never get used to, these sudden glimpses of the child Elijah had been not so very long ago.
"I won’t be so tired tonight." Elijah’s voice interrupted his thoughts, for which Ian was thankful. "Maybe I can repay you for last night."
"What do you mean?"
"Y’know…" Elijah stumbled slightly over his next words. "You never got to … Oh fuck off, you know what I mean!"
"One of the greatest pleasures in my life is watching you sleep," Ian said softly. "You have nothing to prove with me." He nudged Elijah gently with his foot. "I have something inordinately special planned for you tonight."
"A lesson?" Elijah looked up, the light in his eyes dazzling.
"If you will." Ian paused. "A sensory lesson."
"I’m not into bondage," Elijah said immediately, and with such feeling that Ian laughed. Elijah looked positively offended. "Well, I’m not. You’re not tying me up and tickling me with an ostrich feather."
"Damn. Well, I’ll just have to think of something else to do with you, won’t I? Now, I must go or people will start staring. I’ll see you later."
"Just remember, no feathers!" Elijah grinned and went back to pretending to stare at the script.
*
"So are you coming out tonight, hobbit of mine? Hobbits, still of mine?" Orlando appeared in the doorway of the trailer and waited, less than patiently. "Well? Come on, one word answer, yes."
"One word answer, no," Sean said. "The wife is on her way so the place needs to look respectable. Have to hide the porn, you know how it is."
"Well, I do," agreed Orlando, staring. "But I’m not so sure that you do." He looked around at the others. "Come on, the rest of you."
"Two word answer," Dominic chirped up. "Bugger off. I have a date tonight of the utmost importance and secrecy."
"Okay, so you’re shagging Billy." Orlando turned puppy dog eyes on Elijah, who gave as good as he got. Orlando blinked first. "What’s the matter with you lot? Was a time that you had to be tied down to make you stay in."
"Maturity," Sean said, head still firmly buried in his book. "You’ll get it one day."
"Well, maybe I’ve discovered that I like being tied down," Dominic pronounced, leaning forward and prodding Billy, who had dropped off in his chair.
"Elijah?"
"What?" Elijah shrugged. "I just fancy a quiet night in, that’s all. I’m …"
"He’s not too well," Sean interrupted, glancing at Elijah for his silent permission to speak. "Didn’t you see him yesterday? Our boy needs his sleep."
"You’re all bastards," Orlando announced, backing out of the trailer. "Means that I’m going to have to drink with the Manly Men. Of course, this does mean that I shall get propositioned hundreds, nay thousands, of times tonight, because who wants to shag one of them when they can have me?" He paused. "I just said ‘nay’ as part of a sentence."
"There, there," Billy chirped up, finally working out where he was and what was happening. "It’s because you’re called Orlando. You can’t help it, you great ponce."
"Point." Orlando waved vaguely and disappeared.
It was Sean who broke the lengthy silence.
"Has anybody else ever thought about getting a lock on that door?"
*
By the time Elijah was ready to leave it was almost full dark, and the big compound was pretty much deserted, except for his car, not cunningly shielded from his gaze tonight, and another one, parked right next to it. Sean.
Elijah just caught himself on a sigh. He had known this was coming, but had hoped to avoid it for a little while longer. He loved Sean more than he thought possible, but sometimes he could be such an … old woman. He moved to open the door of his car when, sure enough, Sean got out of the one next to him, and for a second they stared at each other across the width of not only the roof, but, Elijah suspected, their whole lives.
"Hey," Sean spoke first. "Kinda need to talk to you."
"I know." Elijah ducked down and noticed that the driver’s seat was empty. How typical of Sean to make sure nobody was around to overhear them. He nodded downwards and climbed into the car, Sean following suit from his side.
"Are you sure you know what you’re doing?" To Elijah’s surprise, Sean jumped straight in. "I’m worried for you."
"Why would you be worried? He’s a great guy, a really great guy, and he’s just about everything I could ever want." Elijah squinted slightly in the half light. "It’s his age, isn’t it?"
"Well, that’s an issue, I can’t argue. You could have taken up with Dom, or Orli, or…"
"Or you?" Elijah’s voice was surprisingly soft, bearing in mind how outraged he was at Sean’s comment. "Okay, so he’s older than me, but if I don’t mind, and he doesn’t mind, why should you?"
Sean sighed and twisted round in the seat until he was facing Elijah. "That night when we were watching Dom and Billy, yeah?" He waited until Elijah nodded, and then continued. "I was thinking about that, and trying to picture you and Ian doing the same thing, and Lij, it just feels wrong!"
"Well, we don’t make out on the floor," Elijah agreed. "Why does it feel wrong? Because it’s Ian, or because it’s not you? Be honest with me here, okay?"
"No," Sean huffed out. "At least, I don’t think so." He paused again, running his hands through his hair in a familiar sign of stress. "I will support you in everything you do, you know that. You’re my brother, Lij. But I want you to be so sure about this."
"I am." Elijah reached out and took hold of Sean’s hands, pulling them until he had them clasped in his own. "You’re so on the wrong path here, Sean, believe me. He didn’t seduce poor innocent me, I seduced him. He’s not making me do things, I’m begging him to. He loves me, Sean. And I love him." He raised their joined hands to his mouth, and kissed Sean’s knuckles. "You love me? You support me?" He leaned forward. "Then let me do this. Let me learn."
In the silence that followed, Elijah very clearly heard Sean swallow, and he felt a pang of something close to regret that this was so hard for him. In another life …
"I’ll be here for you, Elijah," Sean said finally. "Whenever you need me, I’ll be here. I’m sorry, but there’s something in me that can’t approve of this, and whether it’s because I wish I was in Ian’s place, or whether it’s something else, I don’t know. But it’s what friends do for each other, you know? They support each other. I will never be less than this; never less than your best friend." Without realising it, he echoed Ian’s phrase.
"And I couldn’t ask for anything more," Elijah said softly. "Thank you."
"Can I kiss you?" Sean asked, his question no more than a breath in the car, and Elijah twitched. The atmosphere was too intense, too closed in. It was as if they were alone in the world; whatever happened in here happened in a separate place, closed off from their real life. And somehow, strangely, he was the one in command.
"No," he said gently. "It’s not what you want, not deep down, and I don’t want to risk what we have." He let go of Sean’s hands and opened his door slightly, letting in the clean night air. "Go home, hide your porn, and when Chris gets here, make love to her like it was your first time."
"What, over in ten seconds with her parents in the next room?" Sean laughed, and the tension dissipated slightly. "You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow, yes? And remember what I said. I’m always here for you."
He smiled and opened his own door, taking deep breaths of the clean air.
Yes, I’ll go home and when Chris is here I’ll make love to her. And I won’t see a beautiful boy with eyes like the heart of the ocean and a mouth made for sin.