TOXIC WASTE
Verbal diarrhea from the
"Razing Arizona" Posse
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
(scroll down to find the fresh stuff)
Bob:"I'm comfortable with an eight..." (this has become
synonymous with doing anything without thinking)
Rick:"Stupid, God-damn, Overbearing, Egomaniacal..."
Darrin: "Who are you talking about?"
Rick: "Him." (pointing at Jesse, playing an eternal hero)
Darrin: "Oh! Yes...just wanted to make sure there was
only one..." (playing Jesse's side-kick)
Matt:"Take a chip for whining..." (to Jesse, playing an
eternal hero and trying to get rid of chips)
Matt:"I will tell ya ONE thing fer nuthin'..." (just making a
record that this happened ONCE)
Darrin:"It would SUCK to have to go down there!"
(referring to a high canyon view of the Colorado
River moments before finding out that was exactly
where the posse had to go)
Rick:"Coggie Coggie Pooh Pooh Hah!" (taunting
Cassie about spending chips on a Cog roll....
it was just so bizarre and out of character for him,
it had to go down)
Bob: "She's no Claude!" (to Liz in reference to his dead
storyteller)
Jesse:"Good thing. Then she'd be naked and tied up in
barbed wire by now."
Darrin:"Oh no. Frannie's gonna tell a bunch of men to
stroke in unison." (referring to the upcoming boat
trip with Fran (CJ) steering)
Rick:"Oh, great. You just gave me a driving skill."
(referring to his usual incompetance at driving in
any RPG setting...he received drivin' raft at 1)
CJ:"Yup...you just raised the Fear Level of the room by 2."
(referring to another of Bob's typically twisted and
inappropriate anecdotes)
Liz:"I'll talk to them! I'm the cute looking one!"
Cassie:"Oh, give it a rest..."
Rick:"Otto, stop sniffing that moth." (to Cassie attempting
to count coup)
Rick:"Oh little flame ass...why don't you light up the
town like you normally do?" (refering to CJ's usual
method of arsoning first and asking questions later)
Darrin:"Kinda like takin' a whiz...ya gotta learn how to stop."
(to Cassie, excercising her Big Mouth hinderance a
bit too over-zealously at a bad time)
Bob: "Die, servant of the Reckoners!"
Darrin:"It's a bug you moron!"
Rick: "I wonder where the 'crotchal' area on a bug is..."
Rick: "Hey! I'm Kid Bugger! No wait...that didn't come out
right..." (trying to make a witty reference to a DL
character (Kid Mucker) and ending up with gutter
humor...)
Giant Moth: "Aaah...I MUST mate with THAT!"
(referring to the Junker's Plasma Thrower)
Darrin: "Hey Jess, Randy made you hot, wet and naked."
(referring to the Eternal Hero miraculously living
through being caught in the blast of the Junker's
Plasma Thrower and blown into the lake...
he skipped once BTW)
Bob: "If you use your powers against your own frien...fr...
posse members, you're part of the problem - not the
solution! STEP DOWN!" (sollioquizing to Rick and
remembering that "friends" may not mean anything to
his Syker, who has a rifle barrel to his head)
Mayor: "On behalf of all the people of Powellville,
I'd like to..."
Rick: "Yeah, yeah...where's my fish?"
Little Kid: "Gee mister...that's a big gun...my daddy's is big,
but that's..."
Rick: "Yeah, yeah...everything on your daddy's bigger than
you...where's my fish?"
Randy: "Lifejackets? What, can't you swim?"
Darrin: "Well, its a little more complicated when you've
bashed you head against a rock..."
Rick:"Moo! Moo! Moo...dammit! Moo!"
Matt:"Okay, Jess (Eternal Hero)...you're turn. (The radio in
the background simultaneously begins the opening
bass line to Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust")
Rick: (announcer-style voice) "Not only will this knot NOT
come out, but it will rip a hole in the space/time
continuum!" (mocking a kid's roll to successfully tie
floatation devices to the posse's gear - he got a 38)
Native River Guide:"My name is Reggie, uh...Two-Strokes."
(laughter from entire posse)
Native River Guide: "What's so funny?"
Randy:"I'm activating the jet pack."
Several Posse Members: "PULL!"
Liz: "Okay...I'm gonna try a stupid."
Matt:"I'M running! It went 'fwump fwump fwump'! It's MY
game! DON'T tell me how the knife went!"
Cassie:"I'm gonna blow you...(long pause)...in the head."
Darrin:"Does anyone have any medical skills?"
Bob: (the unconcious Templar and source of the
medical emergency with 4 wounds to the head -
only one raising his hand)
Bob:"Ah, you've touched my Templar core..."
Matt:"I ain't touchin' ANYTHING on YOU, man..."
Jesse:"If you're in a coma for two weeks AND you don't
touch yourself, The Duke might notice you."
Matt:"Yeah. You can't do it on purpose and then touch
yourself and expect to him to bless you. "
Darrin:"I'm going to sneak around and drain the spinal fluid
out of a bunch of the dead moths to save for later."
Matt:"Umm...moths are invertebrates."
Darrin:"Meaning...?"
Bob:"So you're saying I can't touch myself..."
Matt and Jesse: "YES!"
Matt:"I didn't say Cajones, I said Tahomec, dammit!"
Matt:"No! You may NOT electrothermally enhance your
relic gatling pistols!"
Jesse:"Someone go find the bald headed guy who has the
stuff from the bald-headed guy."
Matt:"You're all bastards and I hate you all!"
Matt:"Yes, CJ. Cast a word of reason upon this wind worn
world of filth."
Rick:"Oohhhmmm...I'm a gonna kill all of ya...
Oohhhmmm..." (Ortho meditating)
Matt:"Yup. Even if she tries to touch herself, it would be
at minus 6...dammit you made me say it again!"
Matt:"So what are you doing besides making me
wet myself?"
CJ:"Hiiiii Maxie!" (Fran - stoned, flirtatious and horny)
Randy:"Go bother Otto - I've gotta build a bomb."
(playing Maxwell, a Junker)
Cassie:"There's nothing wrong with sniffing bugs!"
Cassie:"You missed my foot." (Otto's response to Ortho's
attempt at an overawe by shooting the ground near
his feet)
Bob:"I have a 12 foot pole for people I wouldn't touch with
a 10 foot pole." (said immediately following a
disturbing reference to Ortho's "space herpes" - the
group becomes silent and stares)
Darrin:"Put the blinders back on the horses...this is gonna
be a bitch..." (Kelly, referring to handholds cut into
the sides of the cliff with nowhere to go but up)
CJ:"I'm never suprised...why should I care?"
Matt:"Hmmm...what kind of roll would this be..."
Jesse:"Uh, Moth Occult History?"
Rick:"WAITING....<bald-syker-chick-get-out-of-building>
WAITING..." (Ortho impatiently waiting for Fran)
Rick:"If you want Knowledge, I'm the KING!"
Cassie:"Only in character..."
Cassie:"I get special powers from sniffing things!"
Posse:"DIE, SERVANT OF THE RECKONER!"
(as they kill the Templar)
Bob:"Oh, I'd better slow down." (Dusty, as she is cutting
a piece of the ladder she's standing on with her sword
and the Marshal warns the ladder is becoming
unstable and beginning to totter back and forth)
Bob: *sigh* "Somebody give me a deck of cards."
Darrin:(to Marshal)"Will you stop interferring with the
game, Matt?"
Bob:(playing a SW indian)"Swim? Of course I can swim. I
learned in my youth, swimming in the icy fjords of
Northern America."
Rest of the Posse:"Fjords?"
Matt:"I'm not even going to bother role-playing
Bob's entrance into the group, 'cause you'll
just kill him." (said to rest of posse)
Darrin: (to Liz) "OK, next time you find something
valuable, make sure you throw another
stick at it."
Bob:(fumbling at loin cloth)"Here...I'll PROVE I'm not
harrowed..."
Rest of the Posse:(looking away)"Noooo!"
Bob:"...it's natural selection."
Jesse:"Then, what happened to you?"
Darrin:(fighting off a skeleton by hitting it with the butt
of his rifle repeatedly)"You have the right to
remain horizontal." <WHACK> "Anything you
say..."<WHACK>"...will really, REALLY
surprise me."<WHACK>
Cassie:"I'm dropping my thing and drawing my two little
things." (referring to her guns)
Jesse: "He doesn't need any help being an idiot."
(referring to Bob's character)
Cassie: "Neitzche says rippling black holes are bad."
(Auto, getting philosophical)
Darrin:"Can I ask the skeletons to let me through as
a professional courtesey to a fellow dead person?"
(playing a Harrowed)
Matt:"Bugga Bugga Bugga...Badoogie!" (pitiful
attempt by the Marshal to jinx a player's roll)
Jesse:"I'm gonna shot through you...and around you...
to get those." (another detailed plan of attack
from the Guardian)
Bob:"I'm so good, I don't leave footprints."
Darrin:"Just trails of blood...hee hee hee."
Jesse:"...and this is fragmentary ammo..."
Matt:"JUST ROLL!" (Marshal, watching the last of his
skeletons blown away)
Matt:"Well, you're on the opposite side of the city,
its dark, there's other buildings in the way, so..."
CJ:"...I see nothing."
Matt:"Well, go ahead and try...you could make one
of your incredibly 'god like' rolls..."
CJ:(rolls)"...I see nothing."
Matt:"Hold on...you'll get yours in a moment."
Bob:"I'm going to get spanked aren't I?"
Matt:"C'mon...you wouldn't have done it otherwise."
Rick: "Here's my card. I'm still hiding 'cause I'm
drunk beyond rational thought." (Rick,
not his character)
Matt:"Its ectoplasmic leg vanishes in a spray of
particles, and the spirit howls..."
Darrin:(to Jesse) "Your sights are a liitle low."
(using the Gaurdian's gat pistols)
Darrin:"OK...I'm reduced in deftness from the fear
check...have a major phobia...using unfamiliar
weapons..."
Matt:"...its dark and you're wearing sunglasses...hit it."
Bob:"She was shootin' shamans with her shotgun."
(composing an impromptu tongue twister,
describing Fran's actions during the battle)
Cassie:"It looks like Spam..."
Darrin:"I don't know but it seems to be resisting
your efforts."
Jesse:"Bob's gone to the Happy Hunting Grounds."
Rick:"More like the Happy Humping Grounds"
Jesse:"Yeah, you gotta keep the kid around...she'll
be useful later."
Darrin:"Maybe slow roasted over a fire when we're hungry."
A debate over who has the best overawe -
Rick:"I've got 2d6 now..."
Cassie:"Hah! I've got 3d6!"
Darrin:"I've got your mother."
Matt:"Two Strokes guides you in for the night..."
(chuckling from group)
Rick:"You're a big floating thing...we'll float
on your ass."
Rick:"I'm the Grim Servant of Death..."
Darrin:"I'm the Happy Servant of Death."
Bob:"With my sleeved card, I stroke again."
Rick:"You're a freak, but we love you, Bob."
Darrin:"Uh, but not in THAT way."
Rick:"I think I'll call him...Minnie-G." (referring to
Cassie's character Otto becoming the next
Guardian - said in best Dr. Evil voice with
pinky beside mouth)
Rick:"Shut yer pie hole, you Eternal Zero!"
Jesse:"So, are we just gonna stroke our butts all the
way into town, or what?"
Rick:"He still smells like a wet pork rind." (referring to
the scent of Bob's wrestler emerging from a dunk
in the Colorado River)
Darrin:"CJ has to make metric target numbers from
now on...double 'em and add 30." (disgusted at
the number of times CJ seems to roll up)
Rick:"I can crush your head like a nut with my legs, but I
won't...'cause I LOVE you."
Bob:"It's only one more die..."
Matt: (rolling up A LOT) "Total's 55 damage."
Rick:"See what happens? Ya wash his pee pee ONCE and
he's yours for life."
NEW WASTE STARTS HERE
Darrin:"Knowledge is like a canole...they both ooze when
you squeeze them..."
Matt:"Okay...if anyone else wants to try and make
armor out of dead fish it's worth -2."
Matt:"If it's one thing these girls have, it's Vigor." (refering
to some posessed prostitutes attacking the posse)
Randy:"Aw, man I wasted a good red chip on him."
(referring to Bob's wrestler as he dies)
Darrin:"So what you're sayin' is that if you slip someone
the weasle, you're gonna slip them more than
the weasle..."
The Marshal's Regis Philbin Maneuver
C.J.:"I'm throwing the smoke grenade in front of the
building."
Matt:"In front of the building? Are you sure?"
C.J.:"Uh...wait...no...I meant inside the building."
Matt:"Inside the building? Are you sure?
C.J.:"Uh, no...I mean...yes...I think."
Cassie:"You're talking about it like it's a gun...you're
confusing me!"
Darrin:"WooHoo! Reap the benefits of normalcy, C.J.!"
Rick:"You're a Neo-MEXIE zoomed dweebie!"
Rick:"There ain't nothin' down there but death,
honey. Let's grab a boat back to Dango."
C.J.:"You don't have it in your hand. It only works when
you have it in your hand. Last week you had it in
your hand."
Rick:"Screw this! Next time I'M stayin' on the
boat. You all can get off if you want."
Rick:"I'm gonna take up the name of the Gaurdian and ruin
his name forever!"
C.J.:"Didn't they say somethin' about this in
the Bible?"
Liz:"Nah. That was a Plague of Frogs."
(referring to a large number of fish raining down on
the town from a large explosion)
Jess:"The bomb consists of two and a half pounds of
irradiated ghost rock and about six pounds of C6."
Rick:"AIEEE! I ain't goin' NEAR the docks! SCREW the
boat! I'm staying here with Kelly and the Sheriff at
the jail 'cause I'm a Deputy! See? I still got my
badge!"
Rick:"I'm gonn put the butt of my rifle up against
his head and pull the trigger."
Darrin:"Uh...I'd use the POINTY end."
Rick:"Randy and I have been talkin'...is Dango North or
South from here?"
Rick:"It's about time you died."