Dec. 2001
Nov. 2001
Oct. 2001
Sep. 2001
Aug. 2001
Jul. 2001
Jun. 2001
May 2001
Apr. 2001
Mar. 2001
Feb. 2001
Jan. 2001
Dec. 2000
Nov. 2000

My god, how time flies when you work way too much.

Today was my first day off in 7 days. Yucky. I spent it in pain because I pulled my back stocking charcoal and a pallet dog food/kitty litter. When I applied, I wanted to work as a stocker, but they've got me doing this thing were I'm up front most of the time, being a checker, but I am the first to go in back to stock when we're not busy. Most of the time I get to the back, drag out a pallet off somthing, get started on it, then hear the dreaded "Mike. Customer service. Mike, customer service, please." Then I drag my ass up there to check out one fucking customer, then get back, then hear the call again, and the circle goes round and round. Sucky.

Enough about work, though.

What I predicted would happen did, in fact, happen. The very day I decided to forget about the girl and just leave it alone, she calls me, wants me to come over, to hang out before she goes on her first week and a half long excursion to Virginia.

I try my hardest to say no, to ward off the evil, to resist the temptations of companionship (and let's not forget the flesh), but I couldn't. I just couldn't do it.

So I go over to her house. I decide that I'm gonna maybe break it off with her, or something. I don't know. All I knew was that I wasn't happy with what was going on, so I wanted to do something about it.

I walked up to her door, determined to do something about it. I straighten myself out a little, pushed the wrinkles out of my shirt, messed with the hair, reached back and got ready to knock. Right before I did, the door swung open, and she jumped me. She just jumped into my arms, and I got a mouthful of tongue. I couldn't beat that with a fucking stick. From then on, all my plans just went out the fucking window, but that goes without saying.

**

Don't think for a second my problems with her are over. One good night out of a couple shitty ones still isn't good. And the last shitty one came on Friday night.

She was supposed to be leaving on Saturday, and we had planned on going out Friday night, with some of my friends, to see Pearl Harbor. I got off of work at 1, and me and Wes drove to Mattoon to get the tickets in advance...and I bought one for her. Well, since this was kind of a date, or whatever, I decided to meet the rest of the "gang" at the theater, with her in tow. Well, before the movie was supposed to start, I went to her house to pick her up. I got there, and she wasn't ready. I could tell. I usually can't tell when a girl has makeup on or not (ok, it's not that drastic, but you get the point) and I could tell she wasn't going. I asked her what was up, and she said she was tired and didn't feel like going. And she said she really didn't want to see that movie anyway. So, I got pissed, and, without a word, ripped up the ticket and tossed it in the air. As I was leaving, I said, "If you change your mind in the next 15 minutes, piece that ticket together and come find me." From behind, I heard her say something like "Don't be like that!" and then "Come over after the movie, I wanna see you!" But I didn't fall into the trap. I didn't go after the movie for two reasons: one, it was the 10:15 show and that movie is 3+ hours long, and two, I just didn't care. I didn't want to see her. I felt no need to go over there, get her out of bed and fucking talk to her. So I drove some of the people home who came in the big van.

I was also thinking about going to a friends house in Charlseton, and I had talked to her about it, but it was so fucking late, I just couldn't...sorry for ditching ya, friend!

So, I've not thought about "her" for awhile, and I'm glad...I've cooled off since that night, but I really need to set things straight and get it out on the table if I want this to work. I just hope I can remember how to do it.

After some overwhelming responses from readers saying to "forget about that girl!", I have decided to do just that. Of course, like usual, as soon as my interest fades, hers will rise again, helping the rollercoaster ride that is my love life dip and turn again. But I've got good news...in fact, great news.

I have gotten a job.

Yes, you heard correctly. I have gotten a job. At the very same place I said I would not get a job, I have been asked to join their "team". Yipee. It's money, at least. But it's not exactly the computer store job that I nearly had in my grasp. Watch, because my luck has always been like this, that I will be called from the computer store about 2 weeks after I start working at the grocery store. It would top off the shitty two weeks home I've had since school ended.

Yes, I said shitty. And it has been. I have started to find myself always wishing I were somewhere else, and when I get there, I'm dissatisfied with that place, because it didn't live up to my expectations, and I always want to be somewhere else. As soon as I was old enough to realize there other things, other places, than my hometown, I wanted to get out of there. I finally did, and I didn't want to be where I was. I wanted to be back home. Now, I want to be somewhere else. I want to be nowhere, and everywhere, all at the same time.

Alright...enough. I got my grades today.

Film Production One - A
Film History and Analysis - A
Comp Two - A
History 101 - C

Okay, I'll back that history one up: it was not taught as a 101 class, not in the least, and I never went because there was no attendance policy, and the TA I had, who graded everything, he was a Nazi, and graded way too hard for a 101 class. Look at me...I'll be a senior next year, and I'm taking freshman courses that I've been putting off, and I'm blaming my teachers for my bad grade...ha ha. I laugh at me.

One last thing I think you might get a kick out of...the last 10 searches for my page...I just wanna know who the fucking these people are, and what the fuck they are doing searching this kind of stuff...

teacher fucking student
Student Fucking Teacher
teacher fucking student
ati all in wonder clips
footie pajamas
teacher fucking student
free faked celebrities
teacher student porn story
" my car" snow stuck boyfriend
average male height

Jesus...I just don't know...I really don't. How the hell does my site get all these student / teacher porn hits???

**

PS: I've been told by a lovely lady that some of my links don't work, specifically, the ones below wellingtonroad.org . I've been told that the links below that one just make the pages reload. If anyone tries these links and has the same problem, please email me. They work fine on my comp, but it all depends on how they work for the rest of you. Thanks.

I'm both happy and sad at the same time.

Happy

I've been looking for a job for the summer. I put in an application for the local grocery store as a stock boy. I aimed low, I know, but hey...the job I was supposed to have, working at a computer store all summer, fell through, so I have to find something quick. The only downside is, I've applied at this place before, and I never been hired. I don't know...it's just something about me that those people don't like. Maybe I'm too good to work there...yeah, I'll tell myself that. An upside, though, they got new ownership/management, so I might have a chance. But I guess the downside to that is that they have alot of the same office people working there, and they've hated me before, so they may not hire me now. But I guees an upside is that they really need people. Damn, it's just up in the air.

Sad

I haven't seen her since Saturday. The thing is, she's called, I've called, we've talked. Briefly, of course. We planned something for Monday. She was to call me when she got off of work. She said it'd be around 5:30. At 9:30, I got a call from her. She had gotten into a fight with her mom, and couldn't come over, or have me over. Wow, okay. Then, on that same call, we decided to do something on Thursday. She was to call me, once again, after she got off work. This time, she did. And she said she had to babysit until 9, but she wanted to do something then, and she would call. Of course, she did not call.

Now, I do not know why this is happening. It could be something from the laws of hammurabi. You know, an eye for an eye? Anyway, I used to blow her off all the time, but we were only friends. She wanted something more, but we were only friends. Now, I think, after hooking me and reeling me in, she has turned the tables on me, making me feel just as miserable as she may (or may not) have felt when I blew her off. But there is one critical difference. Supposedly, we both want to be with each other now, when in the past it was only one of us wanting this, now it's both. I know I was bad to blow her off when we were friends, and I can't make any excuse other than "You don't know the situation."

So, it could be that she is trying to give me a taste of what she had to deal with, but maybe it's just that she doesn't want anything to do with me. Could be, but really, there's no reason not to, except for just not wanting to. The date we went on saturday was okay, and it was her fault it wasn't great...in my opinion.

In spite of all this, I still want her. I want to be with her. I do. Because I do care for her and all that bullshit.

(Reader: please note the sarcasm of that last sentence. Thank you. I care for you and all that bullshit, too.)

**

A closing note, thanks to Ann for the email. She sent me a little note that got me to thinking about the whole guy/girl friendship thing. Guys are assholes. Too bad I am one.

There’s this girl that I’ve been semi/maybe/kind of seeing for the past couple of months. It is really nothing more than a friendship, up until about two weeks ago. She’s expressed an interest in the past, but I always just blew it off, possibly because I just never saw it until now, or it could be the fact that I was searching so hard down at school, I didn’t want to get involved with someone from back home. Either way, I didn’t see it until about two weeks ago.

She called me up and we just talked for a little bit, no big deal. But the more I thought about our conversation, the more I thought about being with her. Some of the things she said just stuck in my mind. They just jumbled around in my head and wouldn’t leave. I thought about it all that night, lying awake in my lofted school bed. I thought about her. I thought about being together and I realized that we have a great deal in common. A great deal, indeed.

So, I decided to pursue. She had already expressed an interest a while back, and she said that she still had that interest in the phone conversation we had that night. Flash forward to last Sunday.

I came home because I needed to bring some stuff back, as I’d be home for good in about a week. I called her up and asked her if she wanted to come over and hang out while I did some laundry. She said she’d love to, and I started on my laundry, and she came by.

We talked about things for a little while. We talked about stupid, random things, basic conversation pieces, both of us knowing the whole time that something was gonna snap. Someone was gonna say something. And it happened eventually. I forget who brought it up, but it doesn’t really matter. We talked about being together. We talked about having a relationship. We talked about easing into it, or diving in head first, hoping it wasn’t the shallow end. We decided to ease into it, because she’s going to be gone a lot this summer, visiting a lot of her family and friends around the country.

We decided that we should ease into things, and see where everything stands. That sounded good to me, because I don’t want to get hurt again, and she said that she doesn’t, either.

**

Flash forward to Thursday night. Finals done and I’m home and everything is kind of ok. I call her on the first night I’m home, Thursday, because I really want to see her and I want to talk to her about things in person. She’s there, but says she can’t come over because she is broke and has no gas in her car. She gets paid Friday, but can’t do anything then because she has a dance recital to go to. Her little cousin is performing, and she couldn’t miss it for the world. Okay. She mentions a movie on Saturday night and maybe hanging out afterward. I tell her that it sounds good to me, and that I’ll call her during the day on Saturday to confirm everything. I like plans. Plans are good.

I call her on Saturday. She is doing algebra homework or something. We decide that I will pick her up at 7:35 exactly so we can make it in time for the 7:50 show of Chocolat. Yeah, sounds fine. I’ll be there.

**

I walk up to her house, and after talking to her mom for a split second, I get sent up the stairs. She is just putting the finishing touches on her hair, and brushing her teeth. I wait around for a while, watching her face in the mirror while her sister is cleaning house around me. She is dust mopping and is hitting me in the foot constantly, telling me to move. I feel like a dumbass, but get saved from eminent death by her, who pulls me by the hand and takes me down the stairs.

We get in my car and just go. We talk for a little bit, and I notice that she brought her cell phone. Not a good sign. Not for me, anyway. I’ve had bad luck with girls bringing cell phones on dates. Definitely not a good sign.

We get to the movie and go in and sit down. We are surrounded by old people, which I don’t mind, because I really like old people, if they’re not youth hating bastards. I think I turned into one of those that night, though, because there were three jr high/high schoolers there, and they kept on running around before the movie, changing seats and be overly obnoxious. This continued throughout the movie, but was stopped when one of the old dudes went and told the movie theater people.

After the movie, we decided to go to Steak and Shake for coffee. Yeah, Steak and Shake coffee sucks, but there’s nowhere else to go in shitty central Illinois. So we sat there for awhile, drinking coffee and talking. She decided to bring her cell phone inside with her, unlike at the movies, and she checked her messages. There were a total of 4 messages on her phone, 3 from one guy who, as she puts it, “is mad at me cos I won’t sleep with him.” Great. The other was from a guy friend of hers who lives in Virginia, comes to Illinois once a month to see her, pays for her phone card, wants to be with her, and a week ago sent her an airplane ticket to come see him and stay with him and be together. Wow. I guess there’s a little bit of hope, though, cos she told me about it the day she got it, actually called me to tell me about it (I was still at SIU) and told me that she gave it back to him because she wanted to “try things” with me. When I asked her if she would’ve went with him if it wasn’t for me, she said “I think I would’ve given it a try.”

I guess I started to get a little distant after that, and she called me on it. That’s one good thing about her: she can read me, and isn’t afraid to ask me what I’m feeling. I was being distant, and when she called me on it, I told her how I felt about all the “guy friend” stuff. I told her that I think it is cool that she has guy friends, but the fact of the matter is, that’s how I got hurt the last time. She had a guy friend, and I let the guard down, and he swept in for the kill. It really ruined me for a long time, and I’m not about to let that happen again. I told her that I know how “guy friends” work…I’ve been one myself at times. There’s always something. Always. No exceptions. I honestly believe that. People can say all they want, but there is always something there. In fact, the time I got destroyed, I was the guy friend before it came to the relationship, then another guy friend took her from me. I honestly think, that in that case, she moved from guy friend to guy friend, but that’s beside the point.

I think it’s great to have friends of the opposite sex, and I told her that. I think it is totally cool, and you should have friends of the different genders. But I just said that I’m wary of the whole thing. She quickly covered everything by saying, “I’m here with you, aren’t I?” I didn’t have a response, and besides, I was tired of the discussion. I just wanted to enjoy the time we were having together.

But the neurotic Woody Allen side of me wouldn’t let it go. And it’s still here as I sit here writing this.

**

We decided to go to her parents costume shop after having coffee. We went up there, and it was pretty cool. We hung out, trying on masks and costumes, and it was almost like the “good life” part of a romantic comedy. We ran around the costume shop, kissing and scaring each other with masks, hiding and trying on costumes. Then we started talking about what we could be, together.

The fact is, she wants to be with me, and I want to be with her, but we’re both too scared of being hurt to jump in too fast. And the fact that I am going to SIU next fall, and she’s going to junior college in town is kinda scary. Not only that, but she’s gonna be gone a lot this summer, seeing family and friends all over the countryside. This includes the guy in Virginia, I might add. So, we won’t get to see each other that much this summer, mostly on the downtime between her driving excursions. And I will be three hours south in three months.

But all hope is not lost. She has told me she thought about going to SIU-C after a semester or two at junior college. That’s a little glimmer, but not great.

**

After the costume shop, (which I will use in a film someday, I promise) we went back to her place. We hung out in her room for a little while, talking about things for a while longer. Then, I left. She had to get up early, and I had a thirty minute drive back home ahead of me. We said our goodbyes, and that was it.

I wanted to see her tonight, but she said she had to do stuff with family all day, being Mother’s Day and all. We decided to do something Monday night.

So tonight I hung out with some of my friends. I got back, and my parents said that a girl called and didn’t leave a message. I called her, and she didn’t even know who I was. Of course, I called her cell phone, the only thing she ever talks on, the only way to get a hold of her. She answered, and I talked to her, and after she realized who it was, she said “Hold on.” So I held on, and I heard her say, “Can I call you back [Virginia boy’s name here]?” on her house phone. Then she came back, and didn’t mention anything. I asked her how he was, clenching a fist and counting backwards in my head from 100 while trying to breathe. I tried so hard not to let it escape, and luckily, it didn’t, because I’m determined not to play the role of jealous boyfriend this time around.

She told me about her day. How she slept all day. Nice. She was supposed to be with family all day, but she slept instead. It was decided that we would talk tomorrow and she would come over tomorrow night, but she was tired and wanted to go to bed. I’m sure she was dialing as soon as she hung up the phone.

Counting…99, 98…

It's the damndest thing.

My life here at SIU-C, Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, is coming to an end. Not an end, as far as "I'll never be back", but for the semester. Although I am a junior, this year was my first "real" college experience. I went to junior college (Lake Land College, Mattoon, IL) for my first two years, living with my parents, driving to school. The only different thing about it was, you could smoke outside and skip class with almost no repercussions.

So, I came to SIU-C basically as a freshman, as far as social and mental standings. I was only a junior in credits, and that's only half true, because I switched my major from radio-tv to film in the transfer. But I learned much more about myself being down here than I ever did at LLC. The classes were basically the same...go to them, pay attention in them, write papers and take tests. But my living conditions and social conditions were totally different. I lived with mostly all freshmen, and the people who weren't freshmen were either transfers like me, or masochists, because no one who lives where I live on campus (University Park) is likely to ask to live here again.

So I lived with all these freshmen, and it felt really weird. I was older than almost all of them, but I didn't feel like I knew as much about living and about the world as they did. Most of these kids came from Chicago, and the only thing I can think to explain this is that they grew up in a big city, or close to one, and they've all had more experiences than me. There's a list of things I've never done in my life, and it seems odd, but I felt like these kids had already done them. Maybe it's my small town upbringing, maybe it's the little social fears I have, but I always feel like I've been left out of something extremely important. Everyone everywhere else is doing something better, and they all know more than I do. And that's the way I felt when I came down here.

As far as myself, I had nothing to do. I have friends down here, but as I look back, I see that I didn't really do that much with them besides hanging out in someone's room. I would turn down going to the bars or to house parties, the alternative being staying in and doing nothing. But I always feel out of place at places like that, bars and house parties and such. Like I don't belong. And maybe I don't...I dunno. It's not like I didn't try, though. I went to house parties and to the bars for the first couple weeks. I even remember going by myself to see a band at the Lost Cross , a punk house down here in Carbondale. I consider myself down with the punk scene, as most the music that I listen to is directly or indirectly influenced by punk rock, but I stopped listening to "real" punk rock a while ago. But what is "real" punk rock??? That's a question for another day...

Anyway, I even felt out of place there. It's a totally cool place, and they try so hard to make the Carbondale punk scene work, but at the same time, it's so exclusive. They come off as inclusive, but I felt that it was anything but. Maybe it's me...in fact I'm sure it is.

**

I tried so hard to find "the one" down here. Someone I could spend my time with, who I could talk with and laugh with and cry with. I came close, but in the end, I didn't follow through. That was first semester. Second semester, I tried really hard (I'm sure some long time readers know what the hell I'm talking about), but it just didn't work. I didn't have the courage, because I felt like I didn't belong. I didn't belong down here, at the bars, in class, with her...anything. I felt like I was nothing, and she was everything, and I felt like I didn't belong.

Pretty soon after that whole charade, I started to come into my own a little bit. Over the course of the year, I had become really good friends with Chris , and he got me started into going to Waggle's, a friend of his from his hometown, someone with an apartment, with a pretty regular crowd, and a pretty regular party schedule. Ahh...routine...exactly what I needed. When I first started going there, it was mostly the same people every week. At first, I felt out of place going there, because most everyone knew each other, and I knew only Chris. Eventually, Clint started going with me, and I got to know Waggle, and some of the other regulars there. It became a pretty cool place. I started going there every Saturday, ready to drink, and on the prowl.

Nothing ever came of my being "on the prowl" at Waggle's, and I think that's actually a good thing. I mean nothing bad about any of the people who go there, but I don't think I could ever date someone I met at a "drinking event"...I dunno...it's just something that seems odd to me. I think I wouldn't pursue anything like that because I don't want the girl(s) to feel like I'm "one of those guys". The type that goes out, looking to just get laid. I wasn't. As a matter of fact, I was only looking to have somewhere to belong...I found it with Waggle's parties.

As the semester's end drew closer and closer, I started feeling more and more pressured. I had so much stuff going on, it wasn't even funny. Papers, presentations, films, tests, the show ...the list goes on. I nearly hit rock bottom. but I hid it well. I thought about quitting all the time, switching my major, or just stopping altogether. But I didn't, luckily. I persevered. I kept with it. I just put my head down and kept going. And do this stopped me from thinking about alot of things.

"No time for love, Dr. Jones."

That about says it all. I had no time. I had no time to get involved. And that was the whole reason (besides academic) that I was here...to find her. The ever-so elusive her . Right now, I'm sure I sound sooooooo emo...Ha. Ha.

As I'm coming to the end, I'm finding that everything was right here, all along. There are people who want people too. I just didn't realize it, because I was so convinced that it wouldn't work. So terribly convinced that I was not going to find what I was looking for, that I didn't find it.

I've decided that I hate drunk girls.

Here's the story: Last weekend, on Friday night, I stayed in. I was completely sober, in fact. I had just ordered a pizza and got it delivered, and, getting ready to dig in, I went out to the front to get a beverage from the machine. I saw this girl from my building that I'm quite friendly with, and she called me out there...I told her I had to go back into the room and then I'd be back out. I went in my room, gorged down a slice of pizza, and grabbed my cigarettes. I went outside to talk to her. I sat down by here and some of her friends, and we just bullshitted for a while. She was pretty drunk, so I guess it didn't really matter what was said.

We sat there, just goofing around, and we started hugging. Then she pinched my lip.

"Ouch."

"Oh, I'm sorry, want me to kiss it and make it better?"

I didn't want to take advantage of a drunk girl, but it was just an innocent thing.

"No, that's alright...you don't have to."

"No, come here..."

She pulled my head towards her, pulling my hair a little bit, and she planted one on me...a big one. One that had a little something "else" in it. I don't mean to say that it was a kiss to start a fire with, but there was something there...I know it...I felt it. Anyway, we went upstairs to her room, and we hung out in there for a while, listening to Blondie and the Stones, sitting on her bed. I was fucking around with this little megaphone she has that makes your voice sound different. I was singing the Chipmunks christmas song and all that shit, just goofing around, and she's laughing and we're having quite a Kodak moment. In this little moment, she grabs the megaphone away from me, pushes me down, and gets on top of me...then plants another one of her kisses on me. I hadn't expected anything, or else I would've brushed my teeth before going up there. But we kissed, and kept on kissing, and then it just kind of stopped. It didn't get weird or anything, but I think she just realized what had happened. We both just kind of laughed at the awkwardness, but then we got over it and started talking again and kissing every once in a while...it was great. Then she got tired, and I went back downstairs, but not after telling her I was gonna come up to her room the next day and give her a Smashing Pumpkins poster I had laying around...she likes them alot.

So, the next day, I went up to her room with the poster, but she wasn't there. I taped it to her door and went back to my room. I stayed in that night, too, cos Waggle's wasn't going on and I had no money for the bars, so I just watched a movie or two. I asked my roommates Magic 8 Ball if I was gonna see her that night, and it said I would...that fucking 8 Ball lies like a motherfucker. It always has...I knew I shouldn't have relied on that thing.

I didn't see her the next day or the next...but then I went up to her room on Tuesday, and we talked for a bit, but it was different. I knew it would be...she was drunk the last time I'd talked to her, but she remembered it all. She was more open then. It wasn't weird at all, but just different. We talked for a little bit, but I had a meeting to go to, so we didn't talk long.

The next time I saw her was the Thursday night fire drill. Some dumb bastard pulled the alarm, so everyone had to go outside and sit for an hour. We talked, but I was tired and so was she, so we just kind of sat there dreamily pissed off at the fire alarm. We got split up sometime in the mass of people, but as everyone was going back inside, she was behind me, and she poked me in the back. I turned around, and our weary eyes met. It lit me up. I couldn't get back to sleep for about 3 hours. I kept on thinking about everything, how there was only two weeks left in the semester, how everything was happening too late, how I really like this girl, and it's all for nothing, because it's too late. It's too late. Too late.

I saw her tonight, just now. Of course, this says Saturday, but it's really Friday night to me. Anyway, I just went outside to smoke, and there she was...same place, same everything...it was looking like last weekend. Almost the exact same shit happened. We sat, we hugged and shit, we smoked. We talked. She asked me to come to her room. Everything was looking up. We get up to her room, and we sit there for a while, watching TV Land and goofing around, talking. Her best friend/neighbor comes in and decides to call someone. She asks this one dude to come over, a mutual friend of theirs. It's cool, I figure I've got a while before this dude comes over. Within 5 minutes, he's there. She goes down to get him, and they come back, arm in arm, partly because she's drunk, but partly because this dude is one of those guys. I'm sure you know the type, if you're a guy. That type of "guy" friend that is just...yuk. I can't even say it. The touchy-feely guy friend who always has his hand on a foot, or a leg, or on the shoulders...something. That guy that comes in, you introduce yourself, but that's the extent of the conversation between the two of you. He's busy macking on the girl, and you're sitting there like a moron, watching TV, not knowing what to say, cos they know each other and are carrying on a fucking conversation...argh!!!!

This happens to me more often than not...so I know how to handle it...leave. And I left. I came back down here to bitch about it.

So he's probably up there, still trying to keep this drunk girl awake, and I'm down here, tired and ready to sleep. He's trying, and I'm not. And he'll probably get the girl...and I won't. I left.

Okay, here's a little reason why I was down for a little while and why the archives were down:

I have said some things in the past about someone that could be considered very hurtful. This person found the posts and called me on it. I feel very bad about the whole thing, but at the same time, I can't go back on the way my feelings were at the time. We have talked and I have explained that my feelings now aren't the same as they were. I have changed my feelings, and I have seen things differently. But there is a bit of a moral problem here. I like this person, but I can't deny the way my feelings were at a certain time. So, do I take the stuff off of my archives, or do I leave it there? Has anyone else had this problem???

On the lighter side of things: Last night I was in my room drinking with all my friends, the last Thursday night drinking session of the semester. We drink and goof off, no big deal...then we go outside for a smoke/cool off session* . It was fun, and we goofed around...then I came inside, and looked at the comp. Tim had messaged me. I was trashed...but I decided to talk to him anyway. I hadn't really talked to him in a while, so I didn't let my inebriated state hinder any discussion about film...he asked me about Red Sorghum in his message. We talked for a while about film and some of the artsy pretentious crap...then I had to go. And I know it is always bad when you're talking to someone, having a good conversation, and then they're just like, "I gotta go, bye." and they never say anything else...so, I'd like to openly apologize to Tim...the reason: someone had food outside, and I was hungry...c'mon, I was drunk and hadn't eaten all day...and that breadstick was DAMN good.

A little news:

new look??? yeah.

no archives??? that's right, down for now...

and, most likely, I won't post for a little while, cos I've got final projects this week, and finals next week...