Dec. 2001
Nov. 2001
Oct. 2001
Sep. 2001
Aug. 2001
Jul. 2001
Jun. 2001
May 2001
Apr. 2001
Mar. 2001
Feb. 2001
Jan. 2001
Dec. 2000
Nov. 2000

Life has been busy during the last week or so. Last night was Hangar 9, watching the Fighting 407 and the Tossers. Funny story about the Tossers, their lead singer wasn't there, so his brother had to sing for him. He did a pretty good job, although alot of the time you couldn't hear him. He also plays the fife, or something like it. He's pretty good at it. The Duggins brothers (in the Tossers) used to swing by my neighbor's house all the time, because my neighbor was dating their mom. So they came around a couple times, and I always said hi and stuff, but I never got to hang out with them, cos after I learned about them being in the Tossers, my neighbor had broken up with their mom.

I saw the girl that told me she had a crush on me at the show. She was dancing around, being cute and all, and she stepped on my foot. I asked her if she remembered telling me she had a crush on me, and she said she did, but it never really got further than that. It's almost like it's turned around. I now have the crush on her, and she just doesn't care...damn. I'm pretty terrible in those situations. She never talked to me at all in class or afterwards, but I always get glances and looks from her. Damn damn damn.

This can't be happening. I won't let it. I will not develop a crush on this girl.

But she's so damn cute.

Well, after a week and a half, everything in my world has resumed. I still feel sadness for those who died in NY and DC, but I feel that we should celebrate life, not dwell on death. Life goes on, time still moves forward, and we will get the son of a bitch (or sons) who did this. We will move on.

On a lighter note, this weekend is parents weekend here at the college. Last night I went to see a she-rock showcase at Hangar 9, and I had to film the last band, my friends band Dickless (no, not the Sub Pop band). It was pretty good. My arm about fell of from holding the camera for so long, but oh well. Thee $2 Jills and the SweeTarts played also, and they rocked the joint pretty good. (and no, I'm not gonna say "for a girl band".)

Today I went with the lead singer from Dickless, Myssi, to help her film video intro segments for her music video show, Planet Boom. We went out to Giant City (a local nature trail/wildlife preserve/camping area thing) and we walked on a trail that the state of Illinois had deemed "rugged". It wasn't too terribly bad. Myssi is this pretty hardcore metal chick, and she doesn't take shit from anyone. So I had to laugh when I saw her get freaked out by a little bug. She saw this little caterpillar on the rock she was sitting on, and she grabbed it and tossed it away, all with an "eww" thing going on. I started laughing, and she asked why, and I told her that I thought it was funny that she's such a hardcore metal girl, but got scared of a little bug. She protested, "I touched it!" And I said "Yes, you did...to move it away from you." We had a pretty good laugh about that, then she got into metal mode and introduced an AC/DC video.

Oh yeah, I got bitten by about 20 mosquitos. It sucked, but everything else was great.

There's nothing I can say about yesterday's events that hasn't already been said. Some want action now, some want to see where it goes, some want us to be careful before we assume. But I think everyone is unanimous in the fact that this is a tragedy, this is fucked up, and something (not just retalliation) needs to be done.

Here's my moment of silence:

Thanks.

Saltwater Vampires played at Hangar 9 last night here in Carbondale. They've been friends of mine for quite a long time, so it was good to get to see them play again. They were supposed to play second, but the Holidays (the second band, who was supposed to play first) didn't have all their members there in time for them to go on first. It was bullshit. The fucking assholes from that band were saying how they didn't want to play first, and they were told that they were going on second when they signed on to play the show. Then, after it was determined that they were gonna go first, regardless of what they wanted, they had some of their members pretty much hide until they got their way.

So the fucking owner came up and told the Vampires that either they had to play first or not play at all. They decided to take the high road and go on first. Although I am totally biased, they played fucking awesome and I think they're better than the Holidays on their best day ever. The kids seemed to like them, but didn't really get involved, cos they aren't local like the Holidays.

The thing that really gets me is the fact that I saw all the Holidays members walk in seconds after Saltwater Vampires went on. It was just fucking rude. It pissed me off. If the Holidays would of went on first, then their fans (the local weekend punks) would have gotten involved, then most likely stayed involved for the Vampires, and onto Swampass, the headlining band (rock n roll, psychobilly, drag show craziness). But no, Holidays were dicks cos they think they run the scene down here just cos their lead singer gives everyone in Carbondale their tattoos, and the guitar player lives at and I think runs shows at the Lost Cross (local punk house). Assholes.

I know if any Carbondale punker reads this, I'll get shit for bashing the local heroes or whatever, but fuck you, I say, because a man has to back up his friends when something shitty like this happens to his friends. And I really don't like the scene down here to begin with.

On another note, I got hit on at the bar last night. It was fucking weird. The first time that had ever, ever, ever happened to me. I was sitting there at the Saltwater table during Swampass's set, and this girl in one of my film classes comes up to me:

"Are you in my 360 class?" she asks.

"Yeah, I thought I recognized you," I say.

"Cool. Well, I just wanted to tell you that I've got this huge crush on you."

Right about now, I am unable to form anything in my head but this: "Good."

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that, to get it off my chest."

"Why don't you talk to me the next time you see me in class?" I ask.

"Okay."

She left her beer on the table. I considered drinking it, but I decided that she might come back. Travis from Saltwater comes and sits down from talking to someone. He looks at the beer and takes a big gulp. Not a second later, the girl comes back and takes it, drinks some, and sets it back down.

We just look at each other and laugh.

After the show, I'm waiting around with Saltwater so they can get paid, so I'm standing pretty much by myself up by the stage. And here she comes.

We talked for a little bit about some stuff, talked about TV shows and film class and school. Then we were rudely interrupted by the beer wench tossing a bunch of beer bottle into the garbage can behind us.

"Two o'clock guys, let's go!!"

Damn. Cut off by last call. But I am definitely looking forward to tomorrow, when I have film class. I want to see whether or not she remembers what she said.

I gotta ask: What's up with the Vagrant Records (vagrant.com) site not working? There is also this http://www.vagrantrecords.com , but that's not even close to what I'm looking for. You know, I've never been able to load the Vagrant site...ever.

I actually got up early today, 8 o'clock to be exact. It's even more surprising that I got up that early because I went to see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back last night, and I didn't get home until late. That movie isn't very good, by the way. It's alright, but the humor and jokes are a bit too flatuent based for my liking. It had this whole "tying things up" feeling to it, so hopefully Kevin Smith will move on to different projects, and stray away from that whole "Jersey Series" bullshit and get on to making decent films.

Anyway, I got up early today and wrote my response paper for His Girl Friday, a Howard Hawks film that you have to watch about 3 times to get the jokes. It was decent. The paper was...mediocre, but hey, I haven't written one since last year, and I don't know this teacher yet and what she wants, so the next one will be better, for sure.

After that, I showered, then went to the library to do my listening assignment for my music class. We were given a cd on Black Minstrelsy, and I listened to it, and thought about the paper we had to write...it's surprising how blatantly racist those songs were...and I'm surprised that we had to listened to it, cos the film department banned Birth of a Nation because of it's racial stance, although it's a huge turning point in the film medium, and teaches alot about where film went after that movie was made. Oh well, I guess the music department is just more accepting when it comes to past mistakes in the history of it's medium.

So I listened to all that stuff, then I went to turn in the headphones and get my student ID back. She looked at the first one...wasn't me. The second one...wasn't me. The third one was me, but she skipped over it.

"That was my ID."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was, I guarantee it."

She looks at it again. "Have you lost weight?"

"Yes, and that picture was taken last year."

"How much did you lose?" she asked.

"Can I have my ID back?" I love answering questions with another question.

"Jesus...snippy," she says. "You look better now, by the way."

"Yeah, thanks."

I can't take a compliment for shit.

I had a decent weekend. Sorry for the indecipherable post on Friday...I was drunk because it was my buddy Wes's birthday, and we all got pretty blasted. But enough of that.

I came home on Saturday, after waking up with a bastard of a hangover. I was originally supposed to go to Sullivan to watch a little band called Saltwater Vampires play, but I was pretty sick of driving and just wanted to stay home and nurse my hangover with a bath and some peace and quiet. So when Travis from Saltwater Vampires called, I told him that I wasn't going to go, that I didn't feel up to it, and as it turned out, they're playing here in Carbondale next weekend, so I'll see them then. My bitching out of going was cool with him. That's good...it seems like lately I've been bitching out on him alot...

After my bath and a little bit of sleep, I went to my old workplace and got my last check from them...not too bad, but not too good, either. It'll be enough, I guess. I got home and found out that my mom called. My mom lives in Florida, so I was very surprised that she was 10 minutes from my house, on her way to my grandma's to stay the night before heading up to Minnesota. My 69 year old stepdad's kids live up there, and they were driving up to see them, and back down here in two weeks after that to celebrate my grandparents' 50th anniversary, so I was gonna see her in two weeks, but I got to see her this weekend. It was pretty good, except for a few things.

My mother and all her sisters and my grandma always fight. And not fight like in a "I'm gonna kill you." sense, but more of an "I'm right, you're wrong, and I'll take all night to prove it to you." type way. And anything is legal in these bouts. And anything topic will come up. They fight about how chicken is made, how many different horses one relative had at a given time, which pictures should be put where and in what order, how many sleeping pills it would take to kill a person of 200 lbs...you get the idea. And this always preoccupies my mom, so I don't get to talk to her much while she's around her sisters. But she tries to talk to me, and is preoccupied with these arguments, so she doesn't really listen.

She was asking me about the show , what it was all about and what some of the sketches were. I attempted explaining some of them to her, but she just was looking away, looking at the ground, biting her nails and rocking back and forth on her feet. I asked her if she was listening, and she said "Yeah, yeah, sweetie, go on." but she resumed doing the same thing she was doing as soon as I started talking about it again. I just kinda gave up and started walking inside. And I don't think she noticed.

The bad thing is, she always gets mad at me because I never tell her anything, and she feels like she hasn't been part of my life since she moved out when I was 7. I think maybe it's just that she hasn't been paying attention. I hate to say it, but kids aren't just a bill you have to pay. You can't just write a child support check and forget about them.

Fall 2001...wow...pretty soon it will be a year...man, I'll talk about all this later....going home this weekend, fucked up right now...shouldn't be blogging...ehhh...later...new look, though....